_Mr. Penfold_ (_to his neighbour, a brother journalist_): Are you going to
write anything about this? I have got to do a short notice for the _Morning
Moonbeam_. It's no use abusing these fellows. That's been tried. I'll give
them a little butter this time, and see whether that won't stop them. How
would it do to say something like this?--"We advise the Thespians to keep
clear as much as they can of professionalism. Of course, tradition demands
that the ladies' parts should be played by professionals, but the
introduction of a professional parrot and a professional baby in the First
Act was a mistake, which might have ruined the performance."
[_His Friend nods approval. Exeunt severally. Imagine
tableau next day. Delight of Amateurs on reading the
notice of their performance in the "Moonbeam."_
* * * * *