I am introduced to the quarter-deck and first lieutenant, who pronounces
me very clever--Trotted below to Mrs Trotter--Connubial bliss in a
cock-pit--Mr Trotter takes me in as a mess-mate--Feel very much
surprised that so many people know that I am the son of--my father.
On our arrival on board, the coxswain gave a note from the captain to
the first lieutenant, who happened to be on deck. He read the note,
looked at me earnestly, and then I overheard him say to another
lieutenant, "The service is going to the devil. As long as it was not
popular, if we had not much education, we at least had the chance that
natural abilities gave us; but now that great people send their sons for
a provision into the navy, we have all the refuse of their families, as
if anything was good enough to make a captain of a man-of-war, who has
occasionally more responsibility on his shoulders, and is placed in
situations requiring more judgment, than any other people in existence.
Here's another of the fools of a family made a present of to the
country--another cub for me to lick into shape. Well, I never saw the
one yet I did not make something of. Where's Mr Simple?"
"I am Mr Simple, sir," replied I, very much frightened at what I had
overheard.
"Now, Mr Simple," said the first lieutenant, "observe, and pay
particular attention to what I say. The captain tells me in this note
that you have been shamming stupid. Now, sir, I am not to be taken in
that way. You're something like the monkeys, who won't speak because
they are afraid they will be made to work. I have looked attentively at
your face, and I see at once that you are _very clever_, and if you do
not prove so in a very short time, why--you had better jump overboard,
that's all. Perfectly understand me. I know that you are a very clever
fellow, and having told you so, don't you pretend to impose upon me, for
it won't do."
I was very much terrified at this speech, but at the same time I was
pleased to hear that he thought me clever, and I determined to do all in
my power to keep up such an unexpected reputation.
"Quarter-master," said the first lieutenant, "tell Mr Trotter to come on
deck."
The quarter-master brought up Mr Trotter, who apologized for being so
dirty, as he was breaking casks out of the hold. He was a short,
thick-set man, about thirty years of age, with a nose which had a red
club to it, very dirty teeth, and large black whiskers.
"Mr Trotter," said the first lieutenant, "here is a young gentleman who
has joined the ship. Introduce him into the berth, and see his hammock
slung. You must look after him a little."
"I really have very little time to look after any of them, sir," replied
Mr Trotter; "but I will do what I can. Follow me, youngster."
Accordingly, I descended the ladder after him; then I went down another,
and then to my surprise I was desired by him to go down a third, which
when I had done, he informed me that I was in the cock-pit.
"Now, youngster," said Mr Trotter, seating himself upon a large chest,
"you may do as you please. The midshipmen's mess is on the deck above
this, and if you like to join, why you can; but this I will tell you as
a friend, that you will be thrashed all day long, and fare very badly;
the weakest always goes to the wall there, but perhaps you do not mind
that. Now that we are in harbour, I mess here, because Mrs Trotter is on
board. She is a very charming woman, I can assure you, and will be here
directly; she has just gone up into the galley to look after a net of
potatoes in the copper. If you like it better, I will ask her permission
for you to mess with us. You will then be away from the midshipmen, who
are a sad set, and will teach you nothing but what is immoral and
improper, and you will have the advantage of being in good society, for
Mrs Trotter has kept the very best in England. I make you this offer
because I want to oblige the first lieutenant, who appears to take an
interest about you, otherwise I am not very fond of having any intrusion
upon my domestic happiness."
I replied that I was much obliged to him for his kindness, and that if
it would not put Mrs Trotter to an inconvenience, I should be happy to
accept of his offer; indeed, I thought myself very fortunate in having
met with such a friend. I had scarcely time to reply, when I perceived a
pair of legs, cased in black cotton stockings, on the ladder above us,
and it proved that they belonged to Mrs Trotter, who came down the
ladder with a net full of smoking potatoes.
"Upon my word, Mrs Trotter, you must be conscious of having a very
pretty ankle, or you would not venture to display it, as you have to Mr
Simple, a young gentleman whom I beg to introduce to you, and who, with
your permission, will join our mess."
"My dear Trotter, how cruel of you not to give me warning; I thought
that nobody was below. I declare I'm so ashamed," continued the lady,
simpering, and covering her face with the hand which was unemployed.
"It can't be helped now, my love, neither was there anything to be
ashamed of. I trust Mr Simple and you will be very good friends. I
believe I mentioned his desire to join our mess."
"I am sure I shall be very happy in his company. This is a strange place
for me to live in, Mr Simple, after the society to which I have been
accustomed; but affection can make any sacrifice; and rather than lose
the company of my dear Trotter, who has been unfortunate in pecuniary
matters--"
"Say no more about it, my love. Domestic happiness is everything, and
will enliven even the gloom of a cock-pit."
"And yet," continued Mrs Trotter, "when I think of the time when we used
to live in London, and keep our carriage. Have you ever been in London,
Mr Simple?" I answered that I had.
"Then, probably, you may have been acquainted with, or have heard of,
the Smiths?"
I replied that the only people that I knew there were a Mr and Mrs
Handycock.
"Well, if I had known that you were in London, I should have been very
glad to have given you a letter of introduction to the Smiths. They are
quite the topping people of the place."
"But, my dear," interrupted Mr Trotter, "is it not time to look after
our dinner?"
"Yes; I am going forward for it now. We have skewer pieces to-day. Mr
Simple, will you excuse me?" and then, with a great deal of flirtation
and laughing about her ankles, and requesting me, as a favour, to turn
my face away, Mrs Trotter ascended the ladder.
As the reader may wish to know what sort of looking personage she was, I
will take this opportunity to describe her. Her figure was very good,
and at one period of her life I thought her face must have been very
handsome; at the time I was introduced to her, it showed the ravages of
time or hardship very distinctly; in short, she might be termed a faded
beauty, flaunting in her dress, and not very clean in her person.
"Charming woman, Mrs Trotter, is she not, Mr Simple?" said the master's
mate; to which, of course, I immediately acquiesced. "Now, Mr Simple,"
continued he, "there are a few arrangements which I had better mention
while Mrs Trotter is away, for she would be shocked at our talking about
such things. Of course, the style of living which we indulge in is
rather expensive. Mrs Trotter cannot dispense with her tea and her other
little comforts; at the same time I must put you to no extra expense--I
had rather be out of pocket myself. I propose that during the time you
mess with us you shall only pay one guinea per week; and as for entrance
money, why I think I must not charge you more than a couple of guineas.
Have you any money?"
"Yes," I replied, "I have three guineas and a half left."
"Well, then, give me the three guineas, and the half-guinea you can
reserve for pocket-money. You must write to your friends immediately for
a further supply."
I handed him the money, which he put in his pocket. "Your chest,"
continued he, "you shall bring down here, for Mrs Trotter will, I am
sure, if I request it, not only keep it in order for you, but see that
your clothes are properly mended. She is a charming woman, Mrs Trotter,
and very fond of young gentlemen. How old are you?"
I replied that I was fifteen.
"No more! well, I am glad of that, for Mrs Trotter is very particular
after a certain age. I should recommend you on no account to associate
with the other midshipmen. They are very angry with me, because I would
not permit Mrs Trotter to join their mess, and they are sad
story-tellers."
"That they certainly are," replied I; but here we were interrupted by
Mrs Trotter coming down with a piece of stick in her hand upon which
were skewered about a dozen small pieces of beef and pork, which she
first laid on a plate, and then began to lay the cloth and prepare for
dinner.
"Mr Simple is only fifteen, my dear," observed Mr Trotter.
"Dear me!" replied Mrs Trotter, "why, how tall he is! He is quite as
tall for his age as young Lord Foutretown, whom you used to take out
with you in the _chay_. Do you know Lord Foutretown, Mr Simple?"
"No, I do not, ma'am," replied I; but wishing to let them know that I
was well connected, I continued, "but I dare say that my grandfather,
Lord Privilege, does."
"God bless me! is Lord Privilege your grandfather? Well, I thought I saw
a likeness somewhere. Don't you recollect Lord Privilege, my dear
Trotter, that we met at Lady Scamp's--an elderly person? It's very
ungrateful of you not to recollect him, for he sent you a very fine
haunch of venison."
"Privilege--bless me, yes. Oh, yes! an old gentleman, is he not?" said
Mr Trotter, appealing to me.
"Yes, sir," replied I, quite delighted to find myself among those who
were acquainted with my family.
"Well, then, Mr Simple," said Mrs Trotter, "since we have the pleasure
of being acquainted with your family, I shall now take you under my own
charge, and I shall be so fond of you that Trotter shall become quite
jealous," added she, laughing. "We have but a poor dinner to-day, for
the bumboat woman disappointed me. I particularly requested her to bring
me off a leg of lamb, but she says that there was none in the market. It
is rather early for it, that's true; but Trotter is very nice in his
eating. Now, let us sit down to dinner."
I felt very sick, indeed, and could eat nothing. Our dinner consisted of
the pieces of beef and pork, the potatoes, and a baked pudding in a tin
dish. Mr Trotter went up to serve the spirits out to the ship's company,
and returned with a bottle of rum.
"Have you got Mr Simple's allowance, my love?" inquired Mrs Trotter.
"Yes; he is victualled to-day, as he came on board before twelve
o'clock. Do you drink spirits, Mr Simple?"
"No, I thank you," replied I; for I remembered the captain's injunction.
"Taking, as I do, such an interest in your welfare, I must earnestly
recommend you to abstain from them," said Mr Trotter. "It is a very bad
habit, and once acquired, not easy to be left off. I am obliged to drink
them, that I may not check the perspiration after working in the hold; I
have, nevertheless, a natural abhorrence of them; but my champagne and
claret days are gone by, and I must submit to circumstances."
"My poor Trotter!" said the lady.
"Well," continued he, "it's a poor heart that never rejoiceth." He then
poured out half a tumbler of rum, and filled the glass up with water.
"My love, will you taste it?"
"Now, Trotter, you know that I never touch it, except when the water is
so bad that I must have the taste taken away. How is the water to-day?"
"As usual, my dear, not drinkable." After much persuasion Mrs Trotter
agreed to sip a little out of his glass. I thought that she took it
pretty often, considering that she did not like it, but I felt so unwell
that I was obliged to go on the main-deck. There I was met by a
midshipman whom I had not seen before. He looked very earnestly in my
face, and then asked my name. "Simple," said he. "What, are you the son
of old Simple?"
"Yes, sir," replied I, astonished that so many should know my family.
"Well, I thought so by the likeness. And how is your father?"
"Very well, I thank you, sir."
"When you write to him, make my compliments, and tell him that I desired
to be particularly remembered to him;" and he walked forward, but as he
forgot to mention his own name, I could not do it.
I went to bed very tired; Mr Trotter had my hammock hung up in the
cock-pit, separated by a canvas-screen from the cot in which he slept
with his wife. I thought this very odd, but they told me it was the
general custom on board ship, although Mrs Trotter's delicacy was very
much shocked by it. I was very sick, but Mrs Trotter was very kind. When
I was in bed she kissed me, and wished me good night, and very soon
afterwards I fell fast asleep.