POLICEMAN (_with professional firmness_). It’s agin the regulations.
A party in the neighbouring skylight complains.
BODIE (_putting out the light_). If that will do for to-night, I’ll
have the window boarded up.
POLICEMAN. Anything so long as it obscures the illumination.
BODIE (_irritated_). Shuts out the light.
POLICEMAN (_determinedly_). Obscures the illumination.
BODIE (_on reflection_). I remember now, I did have that window
boarded up.
POLICEMAN (_who has himself a pretty vein of sarcasm_). I don’t see
the boards.
BODIE. Nor do I see the boards. (_Pondering._) Can she have boned
them?
POLICEMAN. She? (_He is at once aware that it has become a more
difficult case._)
BODIE. You are right. She is scrupulously honest, and if she took
the boards we may be sure that I said she could have them. But that
only adds to the mystery.
POLICEMAN (_obligingly_). Mystery?
BODIE. Why this passion for collecting boards? Try her with a
large board, officer. Extraordinary!
POLICEMAN (_heavily_). I don’t know what you are talking about,
sir. Are you complaining of some woman?
BODIE. Now that is the question. Am I? As you are here, officer,
there is something I want to say to you. But I should dislike
getting her into trouble.
POLICEMAN (_stoutly_). No man what is a man wants to get a woman
into trouble unnecessary.
BODIE (_much struck_). That’s true! That’s absolutely true, officer.
POLICEMAN (_badgered_). It’s true, but there’s nothing remarkable
about it.
BODIE. Excuse me.
POLICEMAN. See here, sir, I’m just an ordinary policeman.
BODIE. I can’t let that pass. If I may say so, you have impressed
me most deeply. I wonder if I might ask a favour of you. Would you
mind taking off your helmet? As it happens, I have never seen a
policeman without his helmet.
(_The perplexed officer puts his helmet on the table._)
Thank you. (_Studying the effect._) Of course I knew they took off.
You sit also?
(_The policeman sits._)
Very interesting.