But notwithstanding these helps from God, I found myself a man
encompassed with infirmities; the parting with my wife and poor
children,[Footnote: Bunyan had four children, all by his first
marriage. About 1658, some three years after his baptism, he married
his second wife, the heroic Elizabeth. In 1660 he was first
imprisoned.] hath often been to me in this place as the pulling the
flesh from the bones; and that not only because I am somewhat too
fond of these great mercies, but also because I should have often
brought to my mind the many hardships, miseries, and wants that my
poor family was like to meet with, should I be taken from them;
especially my poor blind child, who lay nearer my heart than all
beside. Oh, the thoughts of the hardships which my poor blind one
might undergo, would seem to break my heart in pieces. Poor child,
thought I, what sorrow art thou like to have for thy portion in this
world! thou must he beaten, must beg, suffer hunger, cold,
nakedness, and a thousand calamities, though I cannot now endure the
wind should blow upon thee. But yet, recalling myself, thought I, I
must venture you all with God, though it goeth to the quick to leave
you. Oh, I saw in this condition I was as a man who was pulling down
his house upon the heads of his wife and children; yet, thought I, I
must do it, I must do it: and now I thought on those two milch kine
that were to carry the ark of God into another country, and to leave
their calves behind them. 1 Sam 6:10.