A master of a family and a mistress of the same are those that are
entrusted of God with those under their tuition and care to be
brought up for him, be they children or servants.
Look to it and consider with thyself whether thou hast done such
duty and service for God in this matter, that, setting common
facilities aside, thou canst with good conscience lift up thy face
unto God; the which to be sure thou canst by no means do, if
iniquity to the utmost be not banished out of thy house.
And will it not be a sad complaint that thy servant shall take up
against thee before the Judge, at the last day, that he learnt the
way to destruction in thy house, who art a professor? Servants,
though themselves be carnal, expect, when they come into the house
of professors, that there they shall see religion in spangling
colors; but behold, when he enters thy door, he finds sin and
wickedness there. There is pride instead of humility, and height of
raillery instead of meekness and holiness of mind. He looked for a
house full of virtue, and behold nothing but spider-webs; fair and
plausible abroad, but like the sow in the mire at home.
"Bless me," saith such a servant, "are these the religious people?
are these the servants of God, where iniquity is made so much of and
is so highly entertained?"
And now is his heart filled with prejudice against all religion, or
else he turns hypocrite like his master and mistress, wearing, as
they, a cloak of religion to cover all abroad, while all is naked
and shameful at home.
But perhaps thy heart is so hard and thy mind so united to the
pleasing of thy vile affections, that thou wilt say, "What care I
for my servant? I took him to do my work, not to train him up in
religion." Well, suppose the soul of thy servant be thus little
worth in thine eyes; yet what wilt thou say for thy children, who
behold all thy ways, and are as capable of drinking up the poison of
thy footsteps, as the swine is of drinking up swill: I say, what
wilt thou do for them? Children will learn to be wicked of
parents--of professing parents soonest of all; they will be tempted
to think all that they do is right. I say, what wilt thou say to
this? Or art thou like the ostrich whom God hath deprived of wisdom,
and hath hardened her heart against her young? Will it please thee,
when thou shalt see that thou hast brought forth children to the
murderer? or when thou shalt hear them cry, I learnt to go on in the
paths of sin by the carriage of professing parents? If it was
counted of old a sad thing for a man to bring forth children to the
sword, as Ephraim did; what will it be for a man to bring up
children for hell? Hos. 9:13.
"And Jared lived after he begat Enoch eight hundred years, and begat
sons and daughters." He lived therefore to see the fruit of his good
rule and government in the church, even to see his teachable and
dedicated son caught up to God and to his throne.
A good encouragement to all rulers in the house of God, and also to
all godly parents, to teach and rule in the fear of God; for that is
the way to part with church-members and children with comfort; yea,
that is the way, if we shall outlive them, to send them to heaven
and to God before us.
If parents carry it lovingly towards their children, mixing their
mercies with loving rebukes, and their loving rebukes with fatherly
and motherly compassions, they are more likely to save their
children than by being churlish and severe towards them. But if they
do not save them, if their mercy do them no good, yet it will
greatly ease them at the day of death to consider, I have done by
love as much as I could to save and deliver my child from hell.
Let them that name the name of Christ depart from family-iniquity.
There is a house-iniquity--an iniquity that loves not to walk
abroad, but to harbor within doors. This the holy man David was
aware of; therefore he said that he would behave himself wisely, in
a perfect way; yea, saith he, "I will walk within my house with a
perfect heart."
Many that show like saints abroad, yet act the part of devils when
they are at home by giving way to this house-iniquity. This iniquity
meeteth the man and his wife at the very threshold of the door, and
will not suffer them to enter, no, not with one foot into the house,
in peace: but how far this is from walking together as heirs of the
grace of life, is easy to be determined. Men should carry it in love
to their wives, as Christ doth to his church; and wives should carry
it to their husbands, as the church ought to carry it to her
Saviour, Eph. 5: 21-28; 1 Pet. 3: 7; and until each relation be
managed with respect to these things, this house-iniquity will be
cherished there. Oh, God sees within doors as well as without, and
will judge too for the iniquity of the house as well as for that
more open.
A man's house and his conduct there do more bespeak the nature and
temper of his mind than all public profession. If I were to judge of
a man for my life, I would not judge of him by his open profession,
but by his domestic behaviors.
Open profession is like a man's best cloak, which is worn by him
when he walks abroad, and with many is made but little use of at
home. But now what a man is at home, that he is indeed. There is
abroad, my house, my closet, my heart; and my house, my closet, show
most what I am: though not to the world, yet to my family and to
angels.
To make religion and the power of godliness the chief of my designs
at home, before those among whom God by a special hand has placed
me, is that which is pleasing to God, and which obtaineth a good
report of him. Genesis 18:17-19.
CHARACTER OF TALKATIVE. He talketh of prayer, of repentance, of
faith, and of the new birth; but he knows but only to talk of them.
I have been in his family, and have observed him both at home and
abroad. His house is as empty of religion as the white of an egg is
of savor. There is there neither prayer nor sign of repentance for
sin; yea, the brute in his kind serves God far better than he. He is
the very stain, reproach, and shame of religion to all that know
him: it can hardly have a good word in all that end of the town
where he dwells, through him. Thus say the common people, that know
him, "A saint abroad and a devil at home." His poor family find it
so: he is such a churl, such a railer at, and so unreasonable with
his servants, that they neither know how to do for or speak to him.
Domestic iniquity stands also in the disorders of children and
servants. Children's unlawful carriage to their parents is a great
house-iniquity, yea, and a common one too. 2 Tim. 3:2, 3.
Disobedience to parents is one of the sins of the last days. O it is
horrible to behold how irreverently, how saucily, and malpertly,
children, yea, professing children, at this day carry it to their
parents; snapping and checking, curbing and rebuking them, as if
they had never received their being by them, or had never been
beholden to them for bringing them up; yea, as if the relation was
lost, or as if they had received a dispensation from God to dishonor
and disobey parents.
I will add, that this sin reigns in little and great; for not only
the small and young, but men are disobedient to their parents; and
indeed this is the sin with a shame, that men shall be "disobedient
to parents." Where nowadays shall we see children that are come to
men and women's estate, carry it as by the word they are bound, to
their aged and worn-out parents? I say, where is the honor they
should put upon them? Who speak to their aged parents with that due
regard to that relation, to their age, to their worn-out condition,
that becomes them? Is it not common nowadays for parents to be
brought into bondage and servitude by their children; for parents to
be under, and children above; for parents to be debased, and
children to lord it over them?
This sin is, I fear, grown to such a height in some, as to make them
weary of their parents, and of doing their duty to them. Yea, I wish
that some be not murderers of fathers and mothers by their thoughts,
while they secretly long after and desire their death, that the
inheritance may be theirs, and that they may be delivered from
obedience to their parents. 1 Tim. 1:9. This is a sin in the house,
in the family; a sin that is kept close; but God sees it, and has
declared his dislike against it, by an implicit threatening to cut
them off that are guilty of it. Eph. 5:1-3.
Many that have had very hopeful beginnings for heaven, have, by
virtue of the mischiefs that have attended unlawful marriages, Deut.
7:4,5; 2 Cor. 6:14, miserably and fearfully miscarried. Soon after
such marriages, conviction, the first step towards heaven, hath
ceased; prayers, the next step towards heaven, have ceased;
hungerings and thirstings after salvation, another step towards the
kingdom of heaven, have ceased. In a word, such marriages have
estranged them from the word, from their godly and faithful friends,
and have brought them again into carnal company, among carnal
friends, and also into carnal delights; where and with whom they
have, in conclusion, both sinfully abode and miserably perished.
Servants are goers as well as comers: take heed that thou give them
no occasion to scandal the gospel when they are gone, for what they
observed thee unrighteously to do when they were with thee.
Though thy parents be never so low, and thou thyself never so high,
yet he is thy father, and she thy mother, and they must be in thine
eyes in great esteem.