CHORUS OF LOYAL LADIES OF VARIOUS AGES. There--they're clearing the
way--the Prince and Princess won't be long now. Here's the Life Guards'
Band--don't they look byootiful in those dresses? Won't that poor
drummer's arms ache to-morrow? This is the escort coming now.... 'Ere
come the Royalties. Don't push so, Polly, you can see without that!...
There, that was the Prince in the first one--did yer see him, Polly?
Oh, yes, leastwise I see the end of a cocked 'at, which I took to be
'im. Yes, _that_ was 'im right enough.... There goes the
Princess--_wasn't_ she looking nice? I couldn't exactly make out which
was her and which was the two young Princesses, they went by all in a
flash like, but they _did_ look nice!... 'Ere's another Royalty in this
kerridge--'oo will she be, I wonder? Oh, I expect it would be the old
Duchess of----No, I don't think it was _'er_,--she wasn't looking
pleasant enough,--and she's dead, too.... Now they have got inside--'ark
at them playing bits of _God Save the Queen_. Well, I'm glad I've seen
it.
A SON (_to cheery old Lady_). 'Ow are you gettin' on, Mother, eh?
CH. O. L. First-rate, thankee, John, my boy.
SON. You ain't tired standing about so long?
CH. O. L. Lor' bless you, no. Don't you worry about _me_.
SON. Could you see 'em from where you was?
CH. O. L. I could see all the coachmen's 'ats beautiful. We'll wait and
see 'em all come out, John, won't we? They won't be more than an hour
and a half in there, I dessay.
A PERSON WITH A FLORID VOCABULARY. Well, if I'd ha' known all I was
goin' to see was a set o' blanky nobs shut up in their blank-dash
kerridges, blank my blanky eyes if I'd ha' stirred a blanky foot, s'elp
me Dash, I wouldn't!
A VENDOR (_persuasively_). The kerrect lengwidge of hevery flower that
blows--one penny!
At a Parisian Cafe Chantant.
SCENE--_An open air restaurant in the Champs-Elysees; the seats
in the enclosure are rapidly filling; the diners in the gallery
at the back have passed the salad stage, and are now free to
take a more or less torpid interest in the Entertainment
below._ _Enter_ TWO BRITONS, _who make their way to a couple of
vacant chairs close to the orchestra_.
FIRST BRITON. _Entree libre_, you see; nothing to pay! Cheaper than your
precious Exhibition, eh? [_Chuckles knowingly._
SECOND BRITON (_who would rather have stayed at the Exhibition but
doesn't like to say so_). Don't quite see how they expect the thing to
pay if they don't charge anything, though.
FIRST B. Oh, they make _their_ profit out of the dinners up in the
gallery there.
SECOND B. (_appreciating the justice of this arrangement, having dined
with his companion elsewhere_). Well, that's fair enough.
[_Feels an increased respect for the Entertainment._
FIRST B. Must get their money back somehow, you know. Capital seats for
hearing, these. Now, we'll just take a cup of coffee, and a quiet cigar,
while we listen to the singing--you'll enjoy this, _I_ know!
[_With the air of a man who knows the whole thing by heart; the
Waiter brings two tumblers of black coffee, for which he
demands the sum of six francs; lively indignation of the_ TWO
BRITONS, _who denounce the charge as a swindle, and take some
time to recover sufficient equanimity to attend to what is
going on on the Stage_.
[Illustration: FEMALE ARTISTE (SINGS REFRAIN).]