_At the back, amidst tropical scenery, an endless procession of
remarkably undeceptive rabbits of painted tin are running
rapidly up and down an inclined plane. Birds jerk painfully
through the air above, and tin rats, boars, tigers, lions, and
ducks, all of the same size, glide swiftly along grooves in the
middle distance. In front, Commissionnaires are busy loading
rifles for keen sportsmen, who keep up a lively but somewhat
ineffective fusillade._
'ARRIET (_to_ 'ARRY). They 'ave got it up beautiful, I must say. Do you
_get_ anything for 'itting them?
'ARRY. On'y the honour.
A FATHER (_to intelligent_ SMALL BOY _in rear of_ NERVOUS SPORTSMAN).
No, I ain't seen him 'it anything _yet_, my son; but you watch. That's a
rabbit he's aiming at now.... Ah, _missed_ him!
SMALL BOY. 'Ow d'yer _know_ what the gentleman's a-aiming at, eh,
Father?
FATHER. 'Ow? Why, you notice which way he points his gun.
[_The N. S. fires again--without results._
SMALL BOY. I sor that time, Father. He was a-aiming at one o' them
ducks, an' he missed a rabbit! [_The N. S. gives it up in disgust._
[Illustration: "GO IN, JIM! YOU GOT YER MARKIN'-PAPER READY ANYHOW."]
_Enter a small party of 'Arries in high spirits._
FIRST 'ARRY. 'Ullo! _I_'m on to this. 'Ere Guv'nor', 'and us a gun.
_I_'ll show yer 'ow to shoot!
[_He takes up his position, in happy unconsciousness that
playful companions have decorated his coat-collar behind with a
long piece of white paper._
SECOND 'ARRY. Go in, Jim! You got yer markin'-paper ready anyhow.
[_Delighted guffaws from the other_ 'ARRIES, _in which_ JIM _joins
vaguely_.
THIRD 'ARRY. I'll lay you can't knock a rabbit down!
JIM. I'll lay I can!
[_Fires. The procession of rabbits goes on undisturbed._
SECOND 'ARRY (_jocosely_). Never mind. You _peppered_ 'im. I sor the
feathers floy!
THIRD 'ARRY. You'd ha' copped 'im if yer'd bin a bit quicker.
JIM (_annoyed_). They keep on movin' so, they don't give a bloke no
chornce!
SECOND 'ARRY. 'Ave a go at that old owl.
[_Alluding to a tin representation of that fowl which remains
stationary among the painted rushes._
THIRD 'ARRY. No--see if you can't git that stuffed bear. He's on'y a
yard or two away!
AN IMPATIENT 'ARRY (_at doorway_). 'Ere, _come on_! Ain't you shot
enough? Shake a leg, can't yer, Jim?
SECOND 'ARRY. He's got to kill one o' them rabbits fust. Or pot a tin
lion, Jim? _You_ ain't afraid?
JIM. No; I'm goin' to git that owl. He's _quiet_ any way.
[_Fires. The owl falls prostrate._
SECOND 'ARRY. Got 'im! Owl's _orf_! Jim, old man, you must stand drinks
round after this!
[_Exeunt_ 'ARRIES, _to celebrate their victory in a befitting fashion,
as Scene closes in_.
At the French Exhibition.
CHORUS OF ARAB STALL-KEEPERS. Come an look! Alaha-ba-li-boo! Eet is
verri cold to-day! I-ah-rish Brandi! 'Ere _Miss_! you com' 'ere! No pay
for lookin'. Alf a price! Verri pritti, verri nah-ice, verri cheap verri
moch! [_And so on._]
CHORUS OF BRITISH SALESWOMEN. _Will_ you allow me to show you this
little novelty, Sir? _'Ave_ you seen the noo perfume sprinkler? Do come
and try this noo puzzle--no 'arm in _lookin'_, Sir. Very nice little
novelties 'ere, Sir! 'Eard the noo French Worltz, Sir? every article is
very much reduced, &c., &c.