AN UNREASONABLE OLD LADY (_arriving breathless, with her grandson and
niece_). This'll be the place the balloon goes up from, I wouldn't miss
it for anything! Put the child up on that bench, Maria; we'll stand
about here till it begins.
MARIA. But _I_ don't see no balloon nor nothing.
[_Which, as the foliage blocks out all but the immediate foreground is
scarcely surprising._
THE U. O. L. No more don't I--but it stands to reason there wouldn't be
so many looking on if there wasn't _something_ to see. We're well enough
where we are, and _I_'m not going further to fare worse to please
nobody; so you may do as you _like_ about it.
[MARIA _promptly avails herself of this permission_.
THE U. O. L. (_a little later_). Well, it's time they did _something_,
I'm sure. Why, the people seem all moving off! and where's that girl
Maria got to? Ah, here you are! So you found you were no better
off?--_Next_ time, p'raps you'll believe what I tell you. Not that
there's any War Balloon as _I_ can see!
MARIA. Oh, there was a capital view from where I was--out in the open
there.
THE U. O. L. Why couldn't you say so before? Out in the open! Let's go
there then--it's all the same to _me_!
MARIA (_with an undutiful giggle_). It's all the same now--wherever you
go, 'cause the balloon's gone up.
THE U. O. L. Gone up! What are you telling me, Maria?
MARIA. I see it go--it shot up ever so fast and quite steady, and the
people in the car all waved their 'ats to us. I could see a arm a waving
almost till it got out of sight.
THE U. O. L. And me and this innercent waiting here on the seat like
lambs, and never dreaming what was goin' on! Oh, Maria, however you'll
reconcile it to your conscience, _I_ don't know!
MARIA. Why, whatever are you pitching into _me_ for!
THE U. O. L. It's not that it's any partickler pleasure to _me_, seeing
a balloon, though we _did_ get our tea done early to be in time for
it--it's the sly deceitfulness of your _conduck_, Maria, which is all
the satisfaction I get for coming out with you,--it's the feeling
that--well, there, I won't _talk_ about it!
[_In pursuance of which virtuous resolve, she talks about nothing else
for the remainder of the day, until the unfortunate_ MARIA _wishes
fervently that balloons had never been invented_.