_The usual Jocose_ 'ARRY (_who has come here with_ 'ARRIET, _for no very
obvious reason, as they neither of them know or care about any history
but their own_). Well, I s'pose as we _are_ 'ere, we'd better go in a
buster for a book o' the words, eh? (_To_ COMMISSIONAIRE.) What are yer
doin' them c'rect guides at, ole man? A shillin'? Not _me_! 'Ere,
'Arriet, we'll make it out for ourselves.
A YOUNG MAN (_who has dropped in for five minutes--"just to say he's
been, don't you know"_). 'Jove--_my Aunt_! Nip out before she spots
me.... Stop, though, suppose she _has_ spotted me? Never can tell with
giglamps ... better not risk it. [_Is "spotted" while hesitating._
HIS AUNT. I didn't recognise you till just this moment, John, my boy. I
was just wishing I had some one to read out all the extracts in the
Catalogue for me; now we can go round together.
[JOHN _affects a dutiful delight at this suggestion, and wonders
mentally if he can get away in time to go to afternoon tea with those
pretty Chesterton Girls_.
AN UNCLE (_who has taken_ MASTER TOMMY _out for the afternoon_). This is
the way to make your English History _real_ to you, my boy!
[TOMMY, _who had cherished hopes of Covent Garden Circus, privately
thinks that English History is a sufficiently unpleasant reality as it
is, and conceives a bitter prejudice against the entire Tudor Period on
the spot_.
[Illustration: "WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' THEM C'RECT GUIDES AT, OLE MAN? A
SHILLIN'? NOT _me_!"]
THE INTELLIGENT PERSON. Ha! armour of the period, you see!
(_Feels bound to make an intelligent remark._) 'Stonishing how the whole
art of war has been transformed since then, eh? Now--to me--(_as if he
was conscious of being singular in this respect_)--to _me_, all this is
most interesting. Coming as I do, fresh from Froude--
HIS COMPANION (_a Flippant Person_). Don't speak so loud. If they know
you've come in here fresh, you'll get turned out!
PATRONISING PERSONS (_inspecting magnificent suit of russet and gilt
armour_). 'Pon my word, no idea they turned out such good work in those
times--very creditable to them, really.