Whereas _Mr. Punch_ has observed to his deep grief and chagrin that
political ill-feeling in Great Britain has increased, is increasing and
ought to be diminished, be it enacted--
(1) That no morning, evening or weekly paper be allowed to print
anything on its placard save one of these three phrases: "All the
Winners," "Tips for To-day," or "Latest Football"; providing that
nothing in this Act shall prevent _The Daily News and Leader_ from
substituting "Latest Free Church News" for "Tips for To-day."
(2) That no newspaper be allowed to announce more than one political
crisis per week under a penalty of £1,000 for each and every subsequent
crisis announced.
(3) That Mr. T. P. O'CONNOR be appointed grand political censor, and
that all descriptive expressions intended to be applied by people to
their political opponents be submitted to him, to ensure that such
phrases are properly saponaceous.
(4) That six prominent fire-brands in each Party be deported to Saint
Helena, and that they be chosen by ballot in this wise--the Liberals
will select the Tories, the Tories the Liberals, the O'Brienites the
Nationalists, and the Nationalists the O'Brienites. The Labour Party,
being specially qualified for the task, will select six of its own body
for deportation; and nothing in this Act is to hinder Mr. WEDGWOOD from
deporting himself if he thinks it needful.
(5) And whereas many highly respectable golfers of all shades of
political opinion have been put off their game by political happenings
at the week-end be it ordained that a gracious political truce reign
from Thursday midnight to Tuesday midday, and that during that time, to
be known as the Truce of _Mr. Punch_, no political crises, resignations,
refusals of resignations, re-resignations or snap-divisions be allowed
on any pretext whatever.
* * * * *
"Yesterday afternoon a Cardiff prisoner who had been arrested on a
warrant escaped from the custody of a police officer. The man
bolted without the slightest warning."
_Western Daily Press._