"This," I told him, "is the uniform or garb of an organisation known as
the Young Nuts of America. I am the Chief Nut."
"I can't take issue with you here," he said with a raucous laugh. "And
now, Chief, jest one thing more: Would you mind tellin' us whut your aim
was in holdin' your nose over that there brush fire a bit ago?"
"My head has been giving me some trouble," I said. "I was curing myself
with the aid of the smoke."
"One minute a nut and the next minute a ham," he murmured, half to
himself. Dropping his pitchfork, he stretched his hands toward me. "I
s'pose," he added, "it ain't no use to ask you when you got out?"
In a flash it came to me--I had often read that the victims of a certain
form of mania imagined all others to be insane. My plain and
straightforward answers to his vague and rambling interrogations had
failed of the desired effect. Being themselves mad, they thought me mad.
It was a horrifying situation.
I rose to my feet--I had been kneeling throughout this extraordinary
interview--with a confused thought of eluding their clutches and fleeing
from them. In imagination I already saw my murdered form hidden in the
trackless wilds.
"No, you don't!" exclaimed the whiskered man, placing violent and
detaining hands on me. "That's all right," he continued, as the son
closed in on me: "I kin handle the little killdee by myself. . . . Now,
sonny," he went on, again directing himself to me as I struggled and
writhed, helpless in his grasp, "you come along with me!"
"Hold on!" called the son. "There's a lot of other stuff here--blankets
and truck. He's been makin' quite a collection."
"Never mind," bade his parent, roughly turning me about and from behind
propelling my resisting form violently forward. "I reckin they was gifts
from the Mound Builders, too. We'll come back later on and sort out the
plunder."
As I was shoved along I endeavoured to explain. I exclaimed; I cried
out; I entreated them to stop and to hearken. My pleadings were of no
avail and, I am constrained to believe, would have been of no avail even
had not distress and agitation rendered me to an extent incoherent. My
abductors only urged me onward through the woods at great speed.
"Gee! Hear him rave, dad!" I heard the son pant from behind me.
Merciful Providence! Now their warped and perverted mentalities
translated my speech into ravings!
Almost immediately, as it seemed to me, we emerged from the forest into
a ploughed field; and but a short distance away I beheld a human
domicile--in short, a farmhouse. Filled with sudden relief when I
realised that a civilised habitation stood in such hitherto unsuspected
proximity to our late camping place, and instantly possessed with a
great and uncontrollable craving to reach this haven of refuge and claim
the protection of its inhabitants, I wrested myself free from the
bearded man with one mighty effort, leaving my flowing collar in his
hands, and at top speed set off across the field, crying out as I ran:
"Help! Help! Succour! Assistance!" or words to that effect.
My flight continued but a few yards. I was overtaken and felled to the
earth, my captors thereupon taking steps to effectually restrain me in
the free exercise of my limbs and bodily movements. This being one of
the most acutely distressing features of the entire experience I shall
forego further details, merely stating that they used a rope.
It was at this juncture that the powers of connected thought and lucid
speech deserted me. I retain an indistinct recollection of being borne
bodily into a farm dwelling, of being confronted by a gaunt female who,
disregarding my frantic efforts to explain all, persisted in listening
only to the rambling accounts of my abductors, and who, on hearing from
them their confused version of what had transpired, retreated to a
distance and refused to venture nearer until my bonds had been
reinforced with a strap.
Following this I recall vaguely being given to drink of a glass
containing milk--milk of a most peculiar odour and pungent taste.
Plainly this milk had been drugged; for though in my then state of mind
I was already bordering on delirium, yet an instant after swallowing the
draught my faculties were miraculously restored to me. I spoke
rationally--indeed, convincingly; but, owing to an unaccountable
swelling of my tongue, due no doubt to the effects of the drug, my
remarks to the biased ears of those about me must have sounded
inarticulate, not to say incoherent. However, I persisted in my efforts
to be understood until dizziness and a great languor overcame me
entirely.
A blank ensued--I must have swooned.
I shall now draw this painful narrative to a close, dismissing with
merely a few lines those facts that in a garbled form have already
reached the public eye through the medium of a ribald and disrespectful
press--how my youthful companions, returning betimes to our camping
place and finding me gone, and finding also abundant signs of a
desperate struggle, hastened straightway to return home by the first
train to spread the tidings that I had been kidnapped; how search was at
once instituted; how, late that same evening, after running down various
vain clues, my superior, the Reverend Doctor Tubley, arrived at
Hatchersville aboard a special train, accompanied by a volunteer posse
of his parishioners and other citizens and rescued me, semi-delirious
and still fettered, as my captors were on the point of removing me, a
close prisoner, to the Branch State Asylum for the Insane at Pottsburg,
twenty miles distant, in the deluded expectation of securing a reward
for my apprehension; of how explanations were vouchsafed, showing that
while I, with utter justification, had regarded them as lunatics, they,
in their ignorance and folly, had, on the other hand, regarded me as
being mentally afflicted; and how finally, being removed by careful
hands to my place of residence, I remained a constant invalid, in great
mental and bodily distress, for a period of above a fortnight.
As is well known, my first act on being restored to health was to resign
the assistant rectorship of St. Barnabas'. And having meantime been
offered the chair of history and astronomy at Fernbridge Seminary for
Young Ladies at Lover's Leap in the State of New Jersey I have accepted
and am departing on the morrow for my new post, trusting, in the classic
shades and congenial atmosphere of that well-established academy of
learning, to forget the unhappy memories now indissolubly associated in
my mind with the first and last camping expedition of the Young Nuts of
America.
I close with an added word of gratitude and affection for those five
gallant lads, Masters Horrigan, Pope, Ferguson, E. Smith and H.
Smith--but particularly Master Pope, to whom I feel I indeed owe much.
(Signed) Very respectfully,
ROSCOE TITMARSH FIBBLE, D.D.
_PART TWO_
_Being an Open Letter Addressed by Dr. Fibble to One Sitting in a High
Place._
_Elsewhere in France_
_To His Excellency the Honourable Woodrow Wilson,
President of the United States of America, White
House, Washington, D. C., U. S. A._
RESPECTED SIR: Ever since my return from the zone of hostilities it has
been my constant and abiding intention to take pen in hand for the
purpose of acquainting Your Excellency with the facts concerning the
harassing experiences undergone by the undersigned before, during and
immediately subsequent to the outbreak of war on the other, or Eastern,
hemisphere of this world. As you will observe, I now do so.
Until this time I have been deterred from setting forth my complaint by
a variety of good and sufficient reasons, which I enumerate:
Firstly--To me it appeared inevitable that this open letter, on its
reaching your hands, would result in a breach between Your Excellency
and your late Secretary of State, Mr. William Jennings Bryan. I
purposely refrained, therefore, from approaching you on the subject
while he remained a member of your official family. In this connection I
may state that I would be the last to hamper and embarrass the National
Administration. I feel the force of this remark will be all the more
deeply appreciated when I tell you that, though never actively concerned
in politics, I have invariably voted the Republican ticket on each and
every occasion when the fact that election day had arrived was directed
to my attention.
Secondly--Through similar motives of consideration I studiously
refrained from bringing this recital of events before you during your
correspondence with a certain foreign Power--to wit, Germany--touching
on the course and conduct of hostilities on the high seas. With myself
I frequently reasoned, saying, in substance, this: "Who am I that I
should intrude my own grievances, considerable though they may be, on
our President at this crucial hour when he is harassed by issues of even
greater moment? In the unsettled and feverish state of the public mind,
who can foretell what new complications may ensue should I thrust my own
affairs forward? Shall I do this? No, no; a thousand times no! I shall
restrain myself. I shall stay my hand. I shall wait." You will
understand that I did not go so far as audibly to utter these
sentiments. I merely thought them.
Thirdly--No little difficulty has been experienced in ascertaining the
exact whereabouts of my chief fellow sufferer and co-witness; also in
ferreting out the identities of the principal offenders against us. In
these matters I am able to report progress, but not entirely
satisfactory results. Zeno the Great, it would appear, is a person of
unsettled habitation, being found now here, now there, now elsewhere. At
last accounts he was connected with a travelling aggregation known as
De Garmo Brothers' Ten-Million-Dollar Railroad Show; but since that
organisation fell into the hands of the sheriff at Red Oak Junction,
Iowa, I have been unsuccessful in tracing his movements. Nor can I at
this time furnish you with the names and exact addresses of the bearded
ruffian in the long blue blouse, the porter of the hotel, the warder of
the dungeons, or the others implicated in those culminating outrages of
which I was the innocent victim. Repeatedly have I written the mayor of
the town of Abbevilliers, to the general commanding the French military
forces, and to the President of the Republic of France, demanding the
desired information; but--believe it or not, Mister President--to date I
have had not a single word in reply.
Accordingly, until this moment, I have contained myself with all due
restraint; but feeling, as I do feel, that patience has finally ceased
to be a virtue, I am now constrained to address you in the first person
singular, being further emboldened by the reflection that already a bond
of sympathy and understanding exists between us, you for years having
been connected with one of our largest educational institutions and
fonts of learning, namely, Princeton, New Jersey, while I for some
eighteen months have occupied the chair of astronomy and ancient and
modern history at Fernbridge Seminary for Young Ladies, an institution
that in all modesty I may say is also well and favourably known.
If you find opportunity in the press of your undoubtedly extensive and
exacting duties for occasional perusal of the lay-press I think it but
fair to assume that you are more or less familiar with the causes which
actuated me in resigning my place as assistant rector of the parish of
St. Barnabas' at Springhaven and accepting the position which I now
occupy.
I regret to inform you that a number of newspaper editors in a mood of
mistaken and ill-advised jocularity saw fit at the time to comment upon
what was to me a serious and most painful memory. However, I mention
this circumstance only in passing, preferring by my dignified silence to
relegate the authors of these screeds to the obscurity which their
attitude so richly merits. Suffice it to state that having left Saint
Barnabas', within the short scope of one week thereafter I assumed the
duties which I have since continued to discharge to the best of my
talents, finding in the refined, the cultured and the peaceful precincts
of Fernbridge Seminary for Young Ladies that soothing restfulness of
atmosphere which is so essential to one of my temperament.
In such employment I busied myself, giving my days to the classroom and
my evenings to the congenial company of the Victorian poets and to my
botanical collection, until the summer solstice of 1914 impended, when,
in an unthinking moment, I was moved by attractive considerations to
accept the post of travelling companion, guide and mentor to a group of
eight of our young lady seniors desirous of rounding out their
acquaintance with the classics, languages, arts and history of the Olden
World by a short tour on an adjacent continent. I need hardly add that
I refer to the continent of Europe.
Having long cherished a secret longing to visit foreign parts, I the
more gladly entertained the suggestion when our principal, Miss
Waddleton, broached it to me. As outlined by Miss Waddleton, the
prospect at first blush seemed an inviting one--one might even venture
so far as to call it an alluring one. All my actual travelling expenses
were to be paid; the itinerary would be pursued in accordance with a
plan previously laid out, and finally, I was to have for my aide, for my
chief of staff as it were, Miss Charlotte Primleigh, a member of our
faculty of long standing and a lady in whom firmness of character is
agreeably united with indubitable qualities of the mind, particularly in
the fields of algebra, geometry and trigonometry. Miss Primleigh is our
mathematics teacher.
Though gratified and flattered by the trust imposed in me, and welcoming
the opportunity for helpful service in a new and as yet untried realm,
I, nevertheless, strove to comply with such conventionalities as are
ordained by organised society. Indeed, I trust that a fitting and proper
sense of propriety is never entirely banished from my mind at any time
whatsoever.
To Miss Waddleton I said:
"But, my dear lady, I pray you, have thought for these cardinal
points--I myself am unmarried; Miss Primleigh is herself unmarried; the
young lady students contemplating embarkation on this expedition are
each and every one of them unmarried also. In view of these facts--which
are incontrovertible and not to be gainsaid--do you deem it entirely
proper that I, a member of the opposite sex, should be suffered to
accompany them throughout the course of their sojourn on alien shores,
far, far from home and the restraining influences of the home circle?"
"I shouldn't worry myself about that part of it if I were you, Doctor
Fibble," replied Miss Waddleton in the direct and forcible manner so
typical of her. "There isn't a father alive who would hesitate about
letting his daughter travel in your company if he had ever met you--or
even if he had ever seen you."
I cite this rejoinder as added proof of the confidence with which I am
regarded by one well qualified through daily association and frequent
observation to know the true merits of my character and disposition.
Touched no little by such an expression of sentiment from the lips of
Miss Waddleton, I promptly accepted the obligation without further demur
and at once set about my needful preparations for the voyage. So
engrossed was I with these matters that almost at once, it seemed to me,
the date of sailing was at hand.
Accompanied by my travelling belongings, I repaired by train to New
York, Miss Primleigh following a few hours later with our charges. It
was agreed that we should meet upon the dock at ten of the clock on the
following forenoon, the hour of sailing being eleven, upon the good ship
_Dolly Madison_, and the destination Liverpool, England. Such of the
student-group as resided within easy distance of the port of departure
expected members of their several families and possibly friends as well
would be present to wish them the customary _bon voyage_. As for me, I
was quite alone, having no closer relative than a great-aunt of advanced
years residing in the city of Hartford, Connecticut, who, being debarred
by articular rheumatism and other infirmities to which all flesh is
heir, from coming in person to bid her beloved nephew adieu, sent me by
parcels post a farewell present consisting of a pair of embroidered
bedroom slippers, pink in colour, with a design of moss roses done in
green and yellow upon the respective toes, all being her own handiwork.
I come now to the actual leave-taking from this, our native clime.
Filled with a pleasurable fluttering sensation engendered doubtlessly by
the novelty of the impending undertaking and at the same time beset by a
nervous apprehension lest I fail to embark in proper season, due either
to an unexpected change in the hour of sailing or perchance to some
unforeseen delay encountered in transit from my hotel to the water
front, and pestered finally by a haunting dread lest the cabman confuse
the address in his own mind and deposit me at the wrong pier, there
being many piers in New York and all of such similarity of outward
appearance, I must confess that I slept but poorly the night. Betimes,
upon the morn of the all-momentous day I arose, and with some difficulty
mastering an inclination toward tremors, I performed the customary
ablutions. Then after a brief and hurried breakfast--in fact a breakfast
so hurried as to occasion a subsequent touch of dyspepsia--I engaged a
taxicab with the aid of a minor member of the hotel menage, known as the
porter.
Upon this menial, who impressed me as being both kindly and obliging
albeit somewhat officious, I pressed a coin of the denomination of five
cents. I believe it must have been the manner of bestowal which
impressed him rather than the size of the _pourboire_ itself, for he
examined it with lively marks of interest and appreciation and then told
me, with rather a waggish air, I thought, that he did not intend to
fritter it away upon riotous living but would take it home and show it
to his little ones. To which I responded in all seriousness that I was
glad he did not contemplate expending it upon strong drink, such as grog
or rum. As though instantly sobered by my tone, he promised me that
whatever be the purpose to which he might ultimately devote it, he would
never use my gift for the purchasing of ardent spirits. I do not
undertake here to reproduce his exact phraseology but only the sense of
what he sought to convey to my understanding.
So saying, we parted. Snugly ensconced in my taxicab, being entirely
surrounded and in part quite covered up or obscured from the casual gaze
by my many articles of luggage, I proceeded to the pier, meanwhile
subconsciously marvelling at the multitudinous life and activity
displayed upon the thoroughfares of our national metropolis at even so
early an hour as seven-forty-five to eight-fifteen A. M. In numbers
amounting to a vast multitude the dwellers of this great beehive of
industry were already abroad, moving hither and yon, intent each one
upon his or her affairs, as the case might be. Especially was I
impressed by the engrossed faces and the hurried bodily movements of the
component atoms of the throng as viewed through the handles of my small
black leather valise, which with other impedimenta I held upon my knees,
balancing it so that the leather loops were practically upon a level
with my range of vision.
To me, humanity in the mass has ever presented a most absorbing study
notwithstanding that almost invariably I find myself in a flurried, not
to say confused, state of mind upon being thrust physically into the
crowded throng. However, affairs of a more pressing and a more personal
nature as well soon claimed me. Upon reaching the appointed destination,
my attention was directed to the fact that the metre-device attached to
the taxicab registered no less a total than two dollars and seventy-five
cents.
A search of my patent coin purse revealed that I did not have about me
the exact amount requisite to discharge this obligation. Accordingly I
handed the driver a ten-dollar national bank note. Immediately he
wheeled his equipage about and drove rapidly away, promising to return
with all speed and diligence so soon as he had succeeded in changing the
bill. For some time I waited in one of the doorways of the pier, but he
did not return. So far as I have been able to ascertain, he has never
returned; this assertion is based upon my best knowledge and belief. I
am therefore constrained to believe the unfortunate young man--for
indeed he was but little more than a youth in years--met with some
serious bodily hurt while intent upon this mission. Nor do I hold myself
entirely blameless for this, since had I but bethought me to stock my
purse with a suitable amount of small silver, he might have escaped the
injury that doubtlessly befell him in the press of wagons, wains, vans
and motor-drawn vehicles into which he so impetuously darted. Regarding
his probable fate I have many times pondered, giving myself no little
concern.
My position as I lingered at the entrance to the pier was not free from
petty discomforts and annoyances. I was torn between two inclinations:
one to secure the seven dollars and twenty-five cents yet due me, and
the other to be safely embarked in the event that the vagaries of the
tide or other actuating causes should prompt the steamer's master to
depart in advance of the scheduled time without due notice to the public
at large; for this fear of being left behind which had first found
lodgment in my thoughts the evening previous still persisted without
cessation or abatement.
Indeed, the near proximity of the steamer itself, the apparent air of
bustle and haste displayed everywhere in the vicinity, the hoarse cries
betokening haste and perplexity which arose upon all sides, had the
effect of heightening rather than diminishing my apprehensions.
Moreover, persons drawn from all walks of life were constantly coming
into abrupt and violent contact with me as they passed into the pier
carrying objects of varying bulk and shape. Others, with almost equal
frequency, stumbled over my hand-luggage which I had taken pains to
dispose about me in neatly piled array. To top all, I was repeatedly
approached by unkempt individuals offering their services in
transporting my portable equipment aboard ship. I found it quite
absolutely necessary to maintain a vigilant guard against their
importunities, one elderly person of a very unprepossessing exterior
aspect even going so far as to lay hands upon the black leather valise,
thus requiring me to engage in a decidedly unseemly struggle with him
for its possession. I believe I may safely assert that I am not of an
unduly suspicious nature but assuredly the appearance of this man and
his fellows was such as to create doubt as to the honesty of their
ultimate motives. What between turning this way to wave off a
particularly persistent applicant and turning that way again to beg the
pardon of strangers who found themselves in actual collision with me and
my belongings, I was rendered quite dizzy, besides sustaining several
painful bruises upon the nether limbs.
At length I felt I could no longer endure the strain; already my nerves
seemed stretched to the breaking point. After some minutes, I succeeded,
by dint of spoken appeals and gestures, in engaging the ear of a police
officer who appeared to be on duty at a point nearby. To him I gave my
name and calling, and furnished him also with a personal description of
the strangely missing taxicab driver, charging him, the police officer,
to bid the driver to seek me out in my quarters aboard ship when he, the
driver, should reappear with my change.
This matter disposed of, I gathered up my luggage as best I could and
laden like unto a veritable beast of burden wended my way adown the
interior of the long, barn-like structure, pausing at intervals, more or
less annoying in their frequency, to re-collect and readjust certain
small parcels which persistently slipped from beneath my arms or out of
my fingers. The weather being warm, I was presently aglow and in fact
quite moistly suffused with particles of perspiration.
All was noise and excitement. So great was the confusion, so
disconcerting the uproar about me, that I preserve but an indistinct
recollection of my chance meeting with Miss Primleigh and our joint
charges, whom I encountered en masse at a point approximately, I should
judge, midway of the pier. As it developed, they had entered by another
door, thus escaping my notice. I remember pausing to ask whether any of
them had seen and recognised my steamer trunk which on the night before
I had reluctantly entrusted to the custody of a licensed transfer agency
and regarding which I felt some excusable misgivings. It seemed that
none had seen it; so leaving the young ladies in Miss Primleigh's care,
I resumed my difficult and hampered journey in the general direction of
the so-called gangway.
Here persons in fustian who claimed to be connected with the steamship
line in a pseudo-official capacity sought to relieve me of a part of my
baggage, but despite all such assurances of good faith I declined their
proffered aid. For how many travellers--thus I inwardly reasoned--how
many travellers in times past have been deceived by specious impostors
to their own undoing? Ah, who with any degree of accuracy can actually
say how many? Certainly, though, a very great number. I for one meant to
hazard no single chance. Politely yet firmly I requested these persons
to be off. Then, heavily encumbered as I was, I ascended unassisted up
the steep incline of a canvas-walled stage-plank extending from the pier
to an opening opportunely placed in the lofty side of the good ship
_Dolly Madison_.
Once aboard, I exhaled a deep sigh of relief. At last I felt her staunch
timbers beneath my feet. She could not depart without me. But my
troubles were not yet at an end--far from it. For I must find my
stateroom and deposit therein my possessions and this was to prove a
matter indeed vexatious. Upon the steamship proper, the crush of
prospective travellers, of their friends and relatives and of others who
presumably had been drawn by mere curiosity, was terrific. I, a being
grown to man's full stature, was jammed forcibly against a balustrade or
railing and for some moments remained an unwilling prisoner there, being
unable to extricate myself from the press or even to behold my
surroundings with distinctness by reason of having my face and
particularly my nose forced into the folds of a steamer rug which with
divers other objects I held clutched to my breast. When at length after
being well-nigh suffocated, I was able to use my eyes, I discerned
persons flitting to and fro in the multitude, wearing a garb which
stamped them as officers, or, at least, as members of the crew. After
several vain attempts, I succeeded in detaining one of these persons
momentarily. To him I put a question regarding the whereabouts of my
stateroom, giving him, as I supposed, its proper number. He replied in
the briefest manner possible and instantly vanished.
Endeavouring to follow his directions, I wedged my way as gently as I
might through a doorway into a corridor or hall-space which proved to be
almost as crowded as the deck had been, and being all the while jostled
and buffeted about, I descended by staircases deep into the entrails of
this mighty craft where in narrow passageways I wandered about
interminably, now stumbling over some inanimate object, now forcibly
encountering some living obstacle such as another bewildered shipmate or
stewardess. To be upon the safe side, I made a point of murmuring, "I
beg your pardon," at the moment of each collision and then proceeding
onward. It seemed to me that hours had passed, although I presume the
passage of time was really of much shorter duration than that, before I
came opposite a stateroom door bearing upon its panels the sign _C-34_.
Much to my joy the key was in the lock, as I ascertained by feeling, and
the door itself stood ajar slightly. Without further ado I pushed into
the narrow confines of the room, but even as I crossed the threshold was
halted by a voice, speaking in thickened accents. By elevating my head
and stretching my neck to its uttermost length, my chin meanwhile
resting upon the top tier or layer of my belongings, I was able to
perceive the form of a large male, in a recumbent attitude upon a berth
with his face turned from me.
"All ri'," came the voice, which seemed to be muffled in the pillows,
"all ri', steward, set 'em down anywhere!"
"Sit what down?" I enquired, at a loss to grasp his meaning.
"Why, the drinks, of course," quoth the other.
At the risk of dropping some of my luggage, I drew myself up to my full
height.
"Sir," I said, "I do not drink--I have never touched strong drink in all
my life."
"Is it pozz'ble?" said this person (I endeavour for the sake of accuracy
to reproduce his exact phrasing). "Why, what've you been doin' with your
spare time all thesh years?"
He raised a face, red and swollen, and peered at me in seeming
astonishment. I now apprehended that he was a victim of over-indulgence.
So intensely was I shocked that I could but stare back at him, without
speaking.
"Well," he continued, "it's never too late to learn--that's one
con--conso--consolach----" Plainly the word he strove to utter was the
noun _consolation_.
In a flash it came to me that be the consequences what they might, I
could not endure to share the cribbed and cabined quarters provided
aboard ship with a person of such habits and such trend of thought as
this person so patently betrayed. Nor was it necessary. For, having quit
his presence without further parley, I deposited a part of my burden in
a nearby cross-hall and examined my ticket. By so doing I re-established
a fact which in the stress of the prevalent excitement had escaped my
attention and this was that the stateroom to which I had been assigned
was not _C-34_, but _B-34_.
If this were C-deck, the deck immediately above must perforce be B-deck?
Thus I reasoned, and thus was I correct, as speedily transpired. Pausing
only to gather up my effects and to make my excuses to sundry impatient
and grumbling voyagers who had packed themselves in the cross-hall
beyond, while I was consulting my ticket, I journeyed upward to B-deck.
Upon coming to No. 34, and again finding the key in the door and the
door unlatched, I entered as before.
[Illustration: "I," SHE SAID "AM MAJOR JONES"]
This time it was a female voice which brought me to an instantaneous
standstill. For the instant I could not see the owner of the voice--the
previously-mentioned steamer rug being in the way--but the challenge
conveyed by her tone was unmistakable.
"Who are you and what do you want?" Thus was I addressed.
Before replying, I sought to comply with the conventionalities of the
occasion by doffing my hat. The difficulties of removing a hat with a
hand which holds at the moment an umbrella and a small portmanteau can
only be appreciated by one who has attempted the experiment. I
succeeded, it is true, in baring my head, but knocked off my glasses and
precipitated my steamer rug and a package of books to the floor, where
my hat had already fallen. Lacking the aid of my glasses, my vision is
defective, but I was able to make out the form of a lady of mature
years, and plainly habited, who confronted me at a distance of but a
pace or two.
"Pray forgive me," I said hastily, "pray forgive me, Madam. I was under
the impression that this was stateroom B-34."
"It is," she answered in a manner which but served to increase my
perturbation. "What of it?"
"Nothing," I said, "nothing--except that there must be some mistake. I
was given to understand that I was to occupy B-34, sharing it with a
Major Jones, a military gentleman, I assume."
"I," she said, "am Major Jones."
To a statement so astounding I could only respond by confusedly saying,
"Oh, Madam! Oh, Madam!"
"Major Maggie J. Jones, of the Salvation Army," she continued. "Probably
I made the original mistake by not letting the steamship people know
that a Major may be a woman."
"Madam," I said, "I beseech you to remain calm and make no outcry. I
shall at once withdraw."
This I accordingly did, she obligingly passing out to me through a slit
in the door my hat, my glasses, my steamer rug, my packages of books and
one or two other articles of my outfit. My mind was in a whirl; for the
time I was utterly unable to collect my thoughts. Making a mound of my
luggage in a convenient open space, I sat myself down upon the perch or
seat thus improvised to await a period when the excitement aboard had
perceptibly lessened before seeking out the captain and requesting a
readjustment in regard to my accommodations on his ship. It was due to
this delay that I failed to witness the drawing-out of the ship into
midstream and also missed seeing any of the party entrusted to my care
until after we had passed the Statue of Liberty upon our way to the open
sea. Eventually, by dint of zealous enquiry, I ascertained that the
purser was the person charged with the assignment of berths and
staterooms. Upon my finding him and explaining the situation in language
couched in all possible delicacy, he made suitable apologies and I
presently found myself established in a stateroom which had no other
occupant.
I shall dismiss the early part of the journey with a brief line. For
three days the weather continued pleasant, the surface of the ocean
placid and the voyage without any incident of more than passing moment.
Upon the third evening a ship's concert was given. On being approached
that day after luncheon by the purser, who had assumed charge of the
plans, I readily consented to assist in adding to the pleasure of the
entertainment, especially since the proceeds, as he assured me, were to
be devoted to a most worthy and laudable cause. I told him I would
favour the company with a display of my elocutionary abilities, but
purposely withheld the title of the selection which I meant to recite,
meaning at the proper time to surprise my hearers.
During the course of the afternoon the breeze freshened perceptibly, as
evidenced by a slight rolling movement of the ship. As I was freshening
my garb shortly before the dining hour I experienced a slight sensation
as of dizziness, coupled with a pressure across the forehead, but
attributed this to nothing more serious than a passing touch of
indigestion, to which I am occasionally subject. Besides, I had been
irritated no little upon discovering that in printing the programme of
events the typesetter was guilty of a typographical error as a result
of which my name was set down as Dr. Fiddle. A trifle, it is true, but
an annoying one. When I permit myself to be annoyed a slight headache
almost invariably ensues.
The concert began at the appointed hour. When the chairman announced me,
I advanced to the place reserved for those taking part and faced an
expectant and smiling assemblage. It was my intention to deliver the
well known address of Spartacus to the Gladiators. From the best
information on the subject we glean that Spartacus was in figure tall,
with a voice appreciably deep. I am not tall, nor burly, although of
suitable height for my breadth of frame. Nor can I, without vocal
strain, attain the rumbling bass tones so favoured by many
elocutionists. But I have been led to believe that a sonorousness of
delivery and a nice use of gesticulation and modulation compensate in me
for a lack of bulk, creating as it were an illusion of physical
impressiveness, of brawn, of thew and sinew. I bowed to the chairman,
and to the assemblage, cleared my throat and began.
You will recall, Mr. President, the dramatic opening phrase of this
recitation: "Ye call me chief and ye do well to call me chief." I had
reached the words, "and ye do well to call me chief----" when I became
aware of a startling manifestation upon the part of the flooring beneath
my feet. It was as though the solid planks heaved amain, causing the
carpeting to rise and fall in billows. I do not mean that this
phenomenon really occurred but only that it seemed to occur. I paused to
collect myself and began afresh, but now I progressed no further than,
"Ye call me chief----"
At this precise juncture I realised that I was rapidly becoming acutely
unwell. I could actually feel myself turning pale. I endeavoured to
utter a hurried word or two of explanation, but so swift was the
progress of my indisposition that already I found myself bereft of the
powers of sustained and coherent speech. I reeled where I stood. A great
and o'ermastering desire came upon me to go far away from there, to be
entirely alone, to have solitude, to cease for a time to look upon any
human face. Pressing the hem of a handkerchief to my lips, I turned and
blindly fled. Outside upon the deserted deck I was met by a steward who
ministered to me until such a time as I was able to leave the rail and
with his help to drag my exhausted frame to the privacy of my stateroom
where I remained in a state of semi-collapse, and quite supine, for the
greater part of the ensuing forty-eight hours.
I did not feel myself to be entirely myself until we entered St.
George's Channel. We were well within sight of land, the land in this
instance being the shore of Albion, before I deemed it wise and
expedient to leave my couch and venture into the open air. Once there,
however, I experienced a speedy recovery from the malady that had so
nearly undone me and I may safely affirm that none in all the company
aboard that great floating caravansary evinced a blither spirit than the
undersigned at the moment of debarking upon terra firma.
At the risk of perhaps boring Your Excellency, I have been thus explicit
in detailing these episodes in our easterly voyage, but if you have
patiently borne with me thus far, I feel assured that ere now your
trained mind has divined my purport. For throughout these pages my
constant intent has been to give you an insight into my true self, to
the end that hereafter you may the more readily understand my motives
and my actions when unforeseen contingencies arose and disaster
impended. In any event, I would set you right upon one point. It is
undeniably true that among some of my fellow passengers a scandalous
report obtained circulation to the effect that upon the day of sailing I
had forced my way into the stateroom of a strange female and was by that
female forcibly expelled from her presence. I beseech you, Mr.
President, to give no credence to this scandalous perversion of the
truth should it by chance reach your ear. I have here detailed the exact
circumstances with regard to the meeting with Major Maggie J. Jones of
the Salvation Army, withholding nothing, explaining everything.
After this brief digression, I shall now proceed to deal briefly with
the continuation of our journey. Soon we had complied with the trifling
regularities incident to our passage through the Plymouth Customs
Office; soon, ensconced aboard a well-appointed railway carriage, we
were traversing the peaceful English landscape, bound at a high rate of
speed for the great city of London; and soon did I find myself
developing a warm admiration for various traits of the British character
as disclosed to me during our first hours on the soil of the British
Empire. The docility of the serving classes as everywhere encountered,
the civility of the lesser officials, the orderly and well-kempt aspect
of the countryside, the excellence of the steaming hot tea served en
route on His Majesty's railroad trains--all these impressed me deeply;
and especially the last named. A proneness to overindulgence in the
agreeably soothing decoction produced by an infusion of tea leaves is, I
confess, my chief besetting vice.
As I look back on it all with the eye of fond retrospection, and
contrast it with the horrifying situation into which we, all unwittingly
and all unsuspectingly, were so shortly to be plunged, our sojourn in
England is to me as a fleeting, happy dream.
Within the vast recesses of Westminster Abbey I lost myself. This
statement is literal as well as figurative; for, having become separated
from the others, I did indeed remain adrift in a maze of galleries for
upward of an hour. At the Tower of London I gave way for a space of
hours to audible musings on the historic scenes enacted on that
most-storied spot. In contemplation of the architectural glories of St.
Paul's, I became so engrossed that naught, I am convinced, save the
timely intervention of a uniformed constable, who put forth his hand and
plucked me out of the path of danger in the middle of the road where I
had involuntarily halted, saved me from being precipitated beneath the
wheels of a passing omnibus. As for my emotions when I paused at the
graveside of William Shakspere--ah, sir, a more gifted pen than mine
were required to describe my sensations at this hallowed moment.
Constantly I strove to impress on our eight young-lady seniors the
tremendous value, for future conversational purposes, of the sights,
the associations and the memories with which we were now thrown in such
intimate contact. At every opportunity I directed their attention to
this or that object of interest, pointing out to them that since their
indulgent parents or guardians, as the case might be, had seen fit to
afford them this opportunity for enriching their minds and increasing
their funds of information, it should be alike their duty and their
privilege to study, to speculate, to ponder, to reflect, to contemplate,
to amass knowledge, to look, to see, to think. Yet, inconceivable though
it may appear, I discerned in the majority of them, after the first few
days, a growing inclination to shirk the intellectual obligations of the
hour for things of infinitely lesser moment.
Despite my frequent admonitions and my gentle chidings, shops and
theatres engrossed them substantially to the exclusion of all else. My
suggestion that our first evening in London should be spent in suitable
readings of English history in order to prepare our minds for the
impressions of the morrow was voted down, practically unanimously.
One entire afternoon, which I had intended should be devoted to the
National Art Gallery, was wasted--I use the word _wasted_
deliberately--in idle and purposeless contemplation of the show windows
in a retail merchandising resort known as the Burlington Arcade. Toward
the close of our ever memorable day at Stratford-upon-Avon, as I was
discoursing at length on the life and works of the Immortal Bard, I was
shocked to hear Miss Henrietta Marble, of Rising Sun, Indiana, remark,
_sotto voce_, that she, for one, had had about enough of Bardie--I quote
her exact language--and wished to enquire if the rest did not think it
was nearly time to go somewhere and buy a few souvenirs.
So the days flitted by one by one, as is their wont; and all too soon,
for me, the date appointed for our departure to the Continent drew nigh.
It came; we journeyed to Paris, the chief city of the French.
Upon the eve of our departure Miss Primleigh fell ill, so since the tour
was circumscribed as to time, our four weeks' itinerary upon the
Continent including France, Germany, Holland, Belgium, Austria and
Italy, it became necessary to leave her behind us temporarily while we
continued our travels. Impressed with an added sense of responsibility,
since I now had eight young ladies under my sole tutelage, I crossed the
Channel with them on the following day and at eventide we found
ourselves in no less a place than the French capital.
In Paris, as in London, my heart, my hands and my brain were most
constantly occupied by my obligations to my charges, who, despite all
admonitions to the contrary, continued, one regrets to say, to exhibit
an indifference toward those inspiring and uplifting pursuits to which a
tour of this sort should be entirely devoted. For example, I recall that
on a certain day--the third day, I think, of our sojourn in Paris, or
possibly it might have been the fourth--I was escorting them through the
art galleries of that famous structure, the Louvre.
At the outset we had had with us a courier specially engaged for the
occasion; but, detecting in him an inclination to slur important
details in relation to the lives and works of the Old Masters whose
handicraft greeted us murally on every side, I soon dispensed with his
services and took over his task. Whereas he had been content to dismiss
this or that artist with but a perfunctory line, I preferred to give
dates, data and all important facts.
I had moved with the young ladies through several galleries, now
consulting the guidebook, which I carried in my right hand, now pointing
with my left to this or that conspicuous example of the genius of a
Rubens, a Rembrandt or a Titian, and, I presume, had been thus engaged
for the better part of two hours, when a sudden subconscious instinct
subtly warned me that I was alone. Astonished, I spun on my heel. My
youthful companions were no longer with me. Five minutes before they had
been at my skirts; of that I was sure; in fact, it seemed but a few
moments since I had heard the prattle of their voices, yet now the whole
train had vanished, as it were, into thin air, leaving no trace behind
them.
I shall not deny that I was alarmed. I hurried this way and that,
seeking them--even calling their names aloud. All was in vain. My
agitated and rapid movements but served to attract the attention of a
considerable number of idlers of various nationalities, many of whom
persistently followed me about until a functionary in uniform
interfered, thus bringing my search to an end for the time being.
Whether my helpless charges, deprived now of the guiding hand and brain
of a responsible and vigilant protector, were yet wandering about,
without leadership, without guardianship, in the complex and mystifying
ramifications of that vast pile, or, worse still, were lost in the great
city, I had no way of knowing. I could but fear the worst. My brain
became a prey to increasing dread.
In great distress of spirit, I hurried from the edifice and set out
afoot for our hotel, meaning on my arrival there to enlist the aid of
the proprietor in notifying the police department and inaugurating a
general search for those poor young ladies through the proper channels.
However, owing to a striking similarity in the appearance of the various
streets of the town, I myself became slightly confused. I must have
wandered on and on for miles. The shades of night were falling when at
last, footsore, despondent and exhausted, I reached my goal.
To my inexpressible relief, I found all eight gathered at the hotel
dining table, discussing the various viands provided for their
delectation, and chattering as gaily as though nothing untoward had
occurred. I came to a halt in the doorway, panting. Explanations
followed. It would appear that, having been seized with a simultaneous
desire to visit a near-by glove shop, which some among them had noted in
passing at the moment of our entry into the Louvre, they had returned to
examine and purchase of its wares; and so great was their haste, so
impetuous their decision that, one and all, they had neglected to inform
me of their purpose, each vowing she thought the others had addressed
me on the subject and obtained my consent.
Think of it, Mister President, I ask you! Here were eight rational
beings, all standing at the threshold of life, all at a most
impressionable age, who valued the chance to acquire such minor and
inconsequential chattels as kid gloves above a period of pleasurable
instruction in a magnificent treasure trove of the Old Masters. In my
then spent condition the admission, so frankly vouchsafed, left me
well-nigh speechless. I could only murmur: "Young ladies, you pain me,
you grieve me, you hurt me, you astound me! But you are so young, and I
forgive you." I then withdrew to my own apartment and rang for an
attendant to bring a basin of hot water in which I might lave my
blistered pedal extremities. Later, arnica was also required.
The following day, on returning from a small errand in the
neighbourhood, as I entered the _rue_ or street on which our hostel
fronted I was startled out of all composure to behold Miss Flora Canbee,
of Louisville, Kentucky, and Miss Hilda Slicker, of Seattle,
Washington, in animated conversation with two young men, one of whom was
tall and dark and the other slight and fair, but both apparelled in the
habiliments peculiar to officers in the French Army.
For a moment I could scarcely believe my eyes. I think I paused to
readjust the glasses I wear, fearing my trusty lenses might have played
me false; but it was true. As I hurriedly advanced, with amazement and
displeasure writ large on my countenance, Miss Canbee proceeded to
disarm my mounting suspicions by informing me that the two officers were
her first cousins, and then introduced them to me. They responded to my
cordial salutation in excellent English, Miss Canbee casually adding, as
though to make conversation:
"Of course you remember, Doctor Fibble, my having told you several times
that my mother was French?"
To this I could only reply in all sincerity that the fact of her having
told me so had entirely escaped my mind, which was quite true. Yet
ordinarily my memory for trifles is excellent, and I can only attribute
to press of other cares my failure now to recall the circumstance.
I could well understand why Miss Canbee felt constrained to obtain
permission to spend the afternoon in converse with her cousins in
preference to joining the rest of us in a long walk in the warm, bright
sunshine along the quays of the River Seine, this being an excursion I
had planned at luncheon; but why--as I repeatedly asked myself--why
should Miss Hilda Slicker manifest pique to a marked degree when I
insisted on her accompanying us? She, surely, could feel no personal
interest in two young French officers whose acquaintance she had just
formed and who were in no degree related to her by ties of
blood-kinship.
Such happenings as the two I have just narrated went far to convince me
that even the refining and elevating influences of foreign travel, when
prosecuted under the most agreeable and congenial of auspices, might not
suffice in all instances to curb the naturally frivolous and unheeding
tendencies of growing young persons of the opposite sex, between the
given ages of seventeen and twenty.
I may also state that the task of mastering the idiomatic eccentricities
of the French language gave me some small inconvenience. With Greek,
with Latin, with Hebrew, I am on terms of more or less familiarity; but
until this present occasion the use of modern tongues other than our own
have never impressed me as an accomplishment worthy to be undertaken by
one who is busied with the more serious acquirements of learning.
However, some days before sailing I had secured a work entitled "French
in Thirty Lessons," the author being our teacher of modern languages at
Fernbridge, Miss McGillicuddy by name, and at spare intervals had
diligently applied myself to its contents.
On reaching France, however, I found the jargon or patois spoken
generally by the natives to differ so materially from the purer forms as
set forth in this work that perforce I had recourse to a small manual
containing, in parallel columns, sentences in English and their Gallic
equivalents, and thereafter never ventured abroad without carrying this
volume in my pocket. Even so, no matter how careful my enunciation, I
frequently encountered difficulty in making my intent clear to the
understanding of the ordinary gendarme or cab driver, or what not. Nor
will I deny that in other essential regards Paris was to me
disappointing. The life pursued by many of the inhabitants after
nightfall impressed me as frivolous in the extreme and not to be
countenanced by right-thinking people; in the public highways
automobiles and other vehicles manoeuvred with disconcerting
recklessness and abandon; and, after England, the tea seemed inferior.
Until this time no intimation of impending war had intruded on our
thoughts. To be sure, some days before our departure from Fernbridge I
had perused accounts in the public prints of the assassination of the
Heir Apparent of Austria-Hungary and his lady somewhere in the Balkans,
but I for one regarded this deplorable event as a thing liable to occur
in any unsettled foreign community where the inhabitants speak in
strange tongues and follow strange customs. Never for one moment did I
dream that this crime might have an effect on the peace of the world at
large.
Presently, however, I began to note an air of feverish activity among
the denizens of Paris; and one morning toward the end of our first
week's sojourn in their midst I discerned a large body of troops moving
along one of the principal boulevards, accompanied by cheering throngs.
Still I felt no alarm, my explanation to my young ladies for this
patriotic exhibition being that undoubtedly these abnormal and emotional
people were merely celebrating one of their national gala or fete days.
In fancied security, therefore, we continued to visit cemeteries,
cathedrals, art galleries, tombs, and so on, until, almost like a bolt
from the sky, came tidings that certain neighbouring states had
interchanged declarations of war and the French forces were preparing to
mobilise. Simultaneously one realised that American visitors were
departing elsewhere in considerable numbers.
I was not frightened, but I shall not deny that I felt concern. I was a
man, and a man must face with fortitude and resolution whatever
vicissitudes the immediate future may bring forth--else he is no man;
but what of these tender and immature young females who had been
entrusted to my keeping? I must act, and act at once. I summoned them to
my presence; and after begging them to remain calm and to refrain from
tears, I disclosed to them the facts that had come to my notice.
Continuing, I informed them that though the rumours of prospective
hostilities were doubtlessly exaggerated and perhaps largely unfounded,
nevertheless I deemed it the part of wisdom to return without delay to
England, there to remain until conditions on the Continent assumed a
more pacific aspect.
Enormously to my surprise, my wards, with one voice, demurred to the
suggestion. Miss Canbee spoke up, saying--I reproduce her words almost
literally--that a really-truly war would be a perfect lark and that she
thought it would be just dear if they all volunteered as nurses, or
daughters of the regiment, or something. She announced, furthermore,
that she meant to wire that night to her father for permission to enlist
and pick out her uniform the very first thing in the morning. Strangely,
her deluded companions greeted this remarkable statement with seeming
approbation. All speaking at once, they began discussing details of
costume, and so on. I was thunderstruck! It required outright sternness
of demeanour and utterance on my part to check their exuberant outbursts
of misguided enthusiasm.
Nevertheless, another twenty-four hours was to ensue before I felt that
their spirits had been sufficiently curbed to permit of my making
preparations for our departure. Judge of my feelings when I found that
no travelling accommodations could be procured, every departing train
for the coast being crowded far beyond its customary capacity!
Ah, Mister President, could I but depict for you the scenes that now
succeeded--the congestion at the booking offices; the intense confusion
prevalent at all the railroad stations; the increasing popular
apprehension everywhere displayed; the martial yet disconcerting sound
of troops on the march through the streets; the inability to procure
suitable means of vehicular transportation about the city. In those
hours my nervous system sustained a succession of shocks from which, I
fear me, I shall never entirely recover.
Yet I would not have you believe that I lost my intellectual poise and
composure. Without, I may have appeared distraught; within, my brain
continued its ordained functions. Indeed, my mind operated with a most
unwonted celerity. Scarcely a minute passed that some new expedient did
not flash into my thoughts; and only the inability to carry them out,
due to the prevalent conditions and the obstinacy of railroad employes
and others to whom I appealed, prevented the immediate execution of a
considerable number of my plans.
Never for one instant was my mind or my body inactive. I would not
undertake to compute the number of miles I travelled on foot that day in
going from place to place--from consular office to ambassadorial
headquarters, always to find each place densely thronged with
assemblages of my harassed and frenzied fellow country people; from
railroad terminal to booking office and back again, or vice versa, as
the case might be and frequently was; from money changer's to tourist
agency; from tourist agency to hotel, there to offer hurried words of
comfort to my eight charges; and then to dart forth again, hither and
yon, on some well-intentioned but entirely fruitless errand.
To my ministrations I ascribe the cheerfulness and light-heartedness the
young ladies continued to evince throughout this trying period. From
their demeanour one actually might have imagined that they lacked
totally in appreciation of the gravity of the situation.
Not soon, if ever, shall I cease to recall my inward misgivings when,
late in the afternoon of this distracting day, I returned from my third
or fourth unsuccessful call at the booking office to learn they had
disobeyed my express admonition that they remain securely indoors during
my absences. The manager led me to the door of his establishment and
pointed to a spot on the sidewalk some number of paces distant. There I
beheld all eight of them standing at the curbing, giving vent to signs
and sounds of approval as a column of troops passed along the boulevard.
I started toward them, being minded to chide them severely for their
foolhardiness in venturing forth from the confines of the hotel without
male protection; but, at this juncture, I was caught unawares in a dense
mass of boisterous and excited resident Parisians, who swept up suddenly
from behind, enveloping me in their midst.
Thus entangled and surrounded, I was borne on and onward, protesting as
I went and endeavouring by every polite means within my power to
extricate myself from the press. Yet, so far as one might observe, none
paid the slightest heed to one's request for room and air until suddenly
the crowd parted, with cheers, and through the opening my wards appeared
led by the Misses Flora Canbee and Evelyn Maud Peacher, the latter of
Peoria, Illinois. These two accepted my outstretched hands and, with
their aid and the aid of the remaining six, I managed to attain the
comparatively safe refuge of a near-by shop doorway, but in a sadly
jostled state as to one's nerves and much disordered as to one's
wardrobe. Hearing my voice uplifted in entreaty as I was carried by
them, they had nobly responded; and, because of the impulse of the
throng, which accorded to frail maidenhood what was denied to stalwart
masculinity, they had succeeded in reaching my side.
So great was my relief at being rescued, I forbore altogether from
scolding them; and, besides, my thoughts were distracted into other and
even more perturbing channels when a search of my person revealed to me
that unknown persons had taken advantage of the excitement of the moment
to invade my pockets and make away with such minor belongings as a
silver watch, a fountain pen, a spectacle case, a slightly used
handkerchief, an unused one carried for emergencies, and the neat
patent-clasp purse in which I customarily kept an amount of small change
for casual purchases. I lost no time in getting my charges indoors, for
it was quite plain that there must be thieves about.
In the midst of all this I despatched the first of a series of
cablegrams to Mr. William Jennings Bryan. I realise now that I should
have addressed you direct, but at the moment it seemed to me fitting
that the head of our State Department should be advised of our
situation.
From memory I am able to reproduce the language of this first message.
It ran:
Am detained here, with eight young lady students
of Fernbridge Seminary. Have absolutely no desire
to become personally involved in present European
crisis. Kindly notify American Ambassador to have
French Government provide special train for our
immediate use. Pressing and urgent!
Having signed this with my full name, and with my temporary address
added, I hastened with it to the nearest cable office. The official to
whom I tendered it apparently knew no English, but from his manner I
gathered that he felt disinclined to accept and transmit it. I was in
no mood to be thwarted by petty technicalities, however, and on my
pressing into his hand a considerable amount of money in five-franc
notes he took both currency and cablegram, with a shrug of his
shoulders, signifying acquiescence.
It was because I tarried on and on amid tumultuous scenes for another
twenty-four hours, awaiting the taking of proper steps by Mr. Bryan,
that more precious time was lost. Hour after hour, within the refuge of
our hotel parlour, itself a most depressing chamber, I sat, my hands
clasped, my charges clustered about me, our trunks packed, our lesser
belongings bestowed for travel, awaiting word from him. None came. I am
loath to make the accusation direct, but I must tell you that I never
had from Mr. Bryan any acknowledgment of this original cablegram or of
the other and even more insistently appealing telegrams I filed in rapid
sequence; nor, so far as I have been able to ascertain, did he in the
least bestir himself on behalf of Fernbridge Seminary for Young Ladies.
Regarding this callous indifference, this official slothfulness, this
inability to rise to the needs of a most pressing emergency, I refrain
absolutely from comment, leaving it for you, sir, to judge. It would be
of no avail for Mr. Bryan to deny having received my messages, because
in each and every instance I insisted on leaving the money to pay for
transmission.
I shall not harrow your sensibilities by a complete and detailed recital
of the nerve-racking adventures that immediately succeeded. I may only
liken my state of mind to that so graphically described in the
well-known and popular story of the uxoricide, Bluebeard, wherein it is
told how the vigilant Anne stood on the outer ramparts straining her
eyes in the direction whither succour might reasonably be expected to
materialise, being deceived at least once by the dust cloud created by a
flock of sheep, and tortured meantime by the melancholy accents of her
sister, the present wife of the monster, who continually entreated to be
told whether she, Anne, saw any one coming.
The tale is probably imaginary in character to a very considerable
degree, though based, I believe, on fact; but assuredly the author
depicted my own emotions in this interim. One moment I felt as one of
the sisters must have felt, the next as the other sister must have felt;
and, again, I shared the composite emotions of both at once, not to
mention the feelings probably inherent in the shepherd of the flock,
since my wards might well be likened, I thought, to helpless young
sheep. By this comparison I mean no disrespect; the simile is employed
because of its aptness and for no other reason. It would ill become me,
of all men, to refer slightingly to any of our student-body, we at
Fernbridge making it our policy ever to receive only the daughters of
families having undoubted social standing in their respective
communities. I trust this explanation is entirely satisfactory to all
concerned.
Let us go forward, Mister President, to the moment when, after many
false alarms, many alternations of hope, of doubt, of despair, then hope
again, we finally found ourselves aboard a train ostensibly destined
for Boulogne or Calais; albeit a train of the most inferior
accommodations conceivable and crowded to the utmost by unhappy
travellers, among whom fleeing Americans vastly predominated. Our heavy
luggage was left behind us, abandoned to unsympathetic hands. Of food
seemly to allay the natural cravings of the human appetite there was
little or none to be had, even at augmented prices. Actually one might
not procure so small a thing as a cup of tea.