Three Scenes from a Story by Douglas Jerrold--rewritten.
_Scene 1._--Job Pippins, a handsome Barber, is discharged from Sir Scipio
Manikin's, for kissing that gentleman's young and pretty wife. He meets a
Scotch wagoner.
[Illustration: JOB DISCHARGED BY SIR SCIPIO.]
"I say, I ha' got a dead mun in the wagon."
"A dead man?" cried Job.
"Ay; picked him up i' the muddle o' the road. The bay cob wor standin'
loike a lamb beside um. I shall take um to the 'Barley Mow' yonder." (An
inn.)
[Illustration: "BLEED HIM."]
"But stop, for God's sake," exclaimed Job, jumping upon the wagon.
Instantly he recognized the features of Sir Scipio. Struck by apoplexy, he
had fallen from his horse. Instantly Job tore off Sir Scipio's coat,
rolled up his sleeves, bound the arm, and produced a razor.
"Ha! what wilt ye do, mun?" cried the wagoner, seeing the razor.
"Bleed him," replied Job, with exquisite composure; "I fear his heart is
stopped."
"Loikely. I do think it be Grinders, the lawyer. Cut um deep, deep;" and
the fellow opened wide his eyes to see if the lawyer had red blood or
Japan ink in his veins. "Cut um deep; though if it be old Grinders, by
what I hear, it be a shame to disturb him, ony way," said the wagoner.
"Grinders! Pshaw! It's Sir Scipio Manikin."
"Wounds!" roared the scared wagoner. "No, man, no! Don't meddle wi' such
gentry folks in my wagon." So saying, he sought to stay the hand of the
bleeder at the moment he was applying the sharp blade of the razor to the
bared arm, but only succeeded in driving the instrument deep into the
limb. Job turned pale. The wagoner groaned and trembled.
"We shall be hanged for this job--hanged, hanged!"
"Providentially," as the knight afterwards affirmed, the landlord of the
"Barley Mow," in chastising his wife, had broken his leg, and had called
in Dr. Saffron, who, now returning, came upon the wagon containing the
bulky body of Sir Scipio, mangled and bleeding.
The apoplectic squire began to return to dim consciousness, and beholding
Job, with a razor between his teeth, standing over him, timing his pulse,
he gave an involuntary shudder, particularly as he now recalled the late
scene, which had terminated in his kicking Job penniless into the highway.