A cute old dairyman, who lived on a farm,--
To tell you the place is no good, nor no harm,--
Kept three or four cows--"Fan," "Molly," and "Bess,"
With one not yet mentioned, whose name you can't guess.
Two teams he kept running by night and by day,
But where all the milk came from nobody could say;
His cows were no better than those of his neighbor,
Who kept just as many with equal the labor.
And as for paying! he built a great house,
And barns, and granaries that would keep out a mouse;
He drove fast horses, and was said to live high,
But his neighbors looked on, and couldn't tell why.
"_Old Bess kicked the bucket!_ Now let's see," said they,
"If he runs his two carts in the same style to-day."
But the 'cute old farmer was not to be beat,
For the best to give down was the cow with one teat!
But since old "Bess" died the milk had grown thinner,
And the fact _leaked_ out now that the old sinner
Had a cow with one teat, and fixed near the rump
Was a handle which worked like any good pump!