"Sir, I am advised that you have a barrel of beer in your room," said the
president of one of our New England colleges to a student, who, contrary
to rule and usage, had actually purchased a barrel of the delightful stuff
made from brewed hops, copperas, and filthy slops, and deposited it under
the bed, convenient for use.
"Yes, sir; such is the fact," replied the student.
"What explanation can you give for such conduct, sir?"
"Well," began the student with the boldest confidence, "the truth is, my
physician, in consideration of my ill health, advised me to take a little
ale daily; and not wishing to be seen visiting the beer-shops where the
beverage is retailed, I decided to buy a barrel, and take it quietly at my
room."
"Indeed! and have you derived the anticipated benefit therefrom, sir?"
inquired the president.
"O, yes, sir; indeed I have. Why, when I first had the barrel placed in my
room two weeks ago, I could not move it. Now, sir, I can carry it with the
greatest of ease."
The president _smiled_, and ordered the barrel removed, saying that "in
consideration of his rapid convalescence the treatment could safely be
discontinued."