A physician of our acquaintance was called to a lady patient after she had
enjoyed a season of unusual domestic quarrels, who was not over long in
"turning herself wrong-side out"--as some females will insist upon doing,
for the edification of the medical man--telling, not only all about her
pains and aches, but her "trials with that man," her husband--her brutal
usage, her scanty wardrobe, her mortification on seeing Mrs. Outsprout
appear in a new blue silk, and a "love of a bonnet," and (after
entertaining the doctor with wine and good things) finally wind up in
hysterical sobs--for which he prescribed, as follows:--
[R]. One new silk dress--first quality.
One hat and feather.
One diamond--solitaire--aq. prim.
Apply to patient. And 1 coach and span, to Central Park, P. M.
The husband enjoyed the joke; the wife enjoyed the clothes, the diamond
pin, and the ride; and the doctor heard no more of their quarrels.