Dr. Wood was a man of large "understanding." One day at a presidential
reception he was standing in a large crowd, when he felt two feet pressing
on his patent leathers. Looking down, he discovered that the said feet
belonged to a female. Wood was a bachelor, and at first the sensation was
delightful. It made inexpressibly delicious thrills run all up and down
his body. But as the _impression_ was all on the lady's side, the above
sensations became gradually superseded by those not quite so delightful,
and finally the pressure became very uncomfortable. Mustering courage, he
said, very gently,--
"Madam, if you please, you are standing on my feet--"
"Your feet, sir, did you say?" For the crowd was so dense that she could
not possibly see to the ground.
"Yes, madam, on my feet--this last half hour," very politely.
"O, I beg a thousand pardons, sir; I thought I was standing on a block.
_They are quite large, sir_," trying to remove.
"Yes, ma'am, quite large; but _yours covered 'em, madam_."