The following is a brief and true history of one of the vilest charlatans
and impostors now practising in Boston. He has amassed a fortune within a
few years by the most barefaced villanies ever resorted to by man. He is
one of the most abominable charlatans, who, for the almighty dollar, would
willingly sacrifice the lives of his unfortunate victims, who, by glowing
newspaper statements and seductive promises, have been drawn into his
murderous den. By the side of such unprincipled villains, the highwaymen,
the Dick Turpins, with their "Stand and deliver!" or "Your money or your
life!" are angels of mercy, for the former rob you of your last dollar,
and either endanger your life by giving you useless drugs that check not
the disease, or hasten your demise by poisonous compounds given at
random, the virulent properties of which the vampires know but little and
care less.
Their boast that their remedies are "_purely vegetable_," "hence
uninjurious", is as false as their pretensions to skill, and is counted
for nothing when we know that vegetable poisons are more numerous, and
often more rapid and violent in their action, than minerals. Both calomel
and other minerals are often _given_ by these charlatans. I say _given_,
for few of them know enough to write a legible prescription, much less to
write the voluminous works which they put forth on "manhood," "physiology
of woman," etc., which are but so many advertisements for their vile trade
and criminal practices, and are intended to alarm and corrupt the young
and unwary into whose hands they may unfortunately fall.
This fellow, whom I am now to describe, who sometimes prefixes "professor"
to his name, was born in the State of New Hampshire, and when a young man
came to this city to seek his fortune. After various ups and downs, he
became boot-black, porter, and general lackey in the Pearl Street House,
then in full blast. He was said to be a youth of rather prepossessing,
though insinuating address, and being constantly on the alert for odd
pennies and "dimes," succeeded in keeping himself in pocket-money without
committing theft, or otherwise compromising his liberty. But the odd
change, and his meagre salary, did not long remain in pocket, for the
courtesans, who are ever on the alert for unsophisticated youth who throng
to the cities, managed to obtain the lion's share from this embryo doctor,
whose future greatness he himself never half suspected. Disease, the usual
result of intercourse with such creatures, was the consequent inheritance
of this young man.
"What, in the name of Heaven, shall I now do?" he asked himself, in his
distress and despair. "Money I have none. O God! what shall I do?"
"Drown yourself," replied the tempter.
Such fellows seldom drown. Females, their victims, drown; but who ever
heard of a natural-born villain committing suicide, unless to escape the
threatening halter?
No, he did not drown, though it had been better for humanity if he had. He
went to an old advertising charlatan, who then kept an office in a lower
street of this city, a mercenary old vampire, named Stevens. Into the
august presence of the charlatan young M. entered, and, trembling and
weeping, told his history.
[Illustration: A BOSTON QUACK EXAMINING A STUDENT.]
"Have you got any money, young man?" growled the old doctor, wheeling
around, and for the first time condescending to notice the poor wretch.
"No," he sobbed in a pitiful voice.
"Then what do you come here for, sir?" roared the doctor, whose pity was
a thing of the past. His soul was impenetrable to the appeal of suffering
as the hide of the rhinoceros to a leaden bullet.
The young man, fortunately, did not know this fact, and persevered.
"I thought I might work for you to pay for treatment. O, I'll do
anything--sweep your office, wash up the floors and bottles, black your
boots, do anything and everything, if you'll only cure me. O, do! Say you
will, sir!" and the young man writhed in agony of suspense.
"Humph!" grunted the old doctor, contemplatingly.
Doubtless he was considering the advantages which might accrue from
accepting the proposition of this earnest applicant, for, after eying him
sharply, and beating the devil's tattoo for a few moments upon his table,
the doctor condescended to "look into his case," and finally to treat the
young man's disease upon the proposed terms.
M. began his apprenticeship by sweeping the office, and the old doctor
held him to the very letter of the agreement, keeping him at the most
menial service,--boot-blacking, bottle-washing, door-tending,
etc.,--protracting his disease as he found the young man useful, till the
old knave dared no longer delay the cure, for thereby the victim might go
elsewhere for help. When cured, M. engaged to continue work for the small
compensation that the doctor offered, especially since he and the old man
had begun to understand each other pretty well, and each was equally
unscrupulous as to the sponging of the unfortunate victims who fell into
their hands.
When the doctor was observed to prescribe from any particular bottle, M.
took a mental memorandum thereof till such time as he could take a look at
the label, thereby learning the prescription for such disease; and the
result was a decision that if this was the science of healing, "_it didn't
take much of a man to be a_"--_doctor_.
When the old doctor was absent, M. would prescribe on his own account,
charge an extra dollar or two as perquisites, and deposit the balance in
the doctor's till.
In course of time, by this process of extortion, solicitations, and the
increasing perquisites, M. was enabled to set up doctoring on his own
account. The old doctor died, and M. had it all his own way.
The young self-styled doctor saw no particular need of making effort to
acquire medical knowledge, but a diploma to hang upon his office walls,
with the few disgusting anatomical plates (appropriated from Dr. S.),
which were admirably adapted to intimidate his simple-minded dupes,--a
diploma from some medical society would give character to the
"institution," and such he would obtain.
Being cited to court as defendant in a certain case, this _soi-disant_ "M.
D." was compelled to retract a former statement that he had attended
medical lectures in Pennsylvania College, where he graduated with honors,
and come down to the truthful statement, _for once in his life_, and swear
that he had obtained his diploma by _purchase_.
His present rooms--house and office--are located in the heart of the city,
and are not exceeded for convenience and neatness by those of the
respectable practitioner. Having amassed a great fortune out of the
credulity, misfortunes, and passions of the unfortunate, he has settled
down to the plane of the more respectable advertising doctors, and the
terrifying plates no longer cover the walls of the _best_ reception-room;
but a few valuable pictures and the Philadelphia diploma are conspicuously
displayed above the elegant furniture and valuable articles of _virtu_.
The same extortions and reprehensible practices are still resorted to in
order to keep up this "institution." His earlier history is gathered from
_his own statements_, by piecemeal, by a confidential "student," the
latter portion by _personal investigation_ of the writer.
Respecting the matter of purchasing diplomas, I will state that I have
seen a "Regular Medical Diploma" advertised in the New York _Herald_ for
one hundred dollars. The name originally written therein is extracted by
oxalic acid, or other chemicals. I knew a physician who parted with his
Latin diploma for fifty dollars.
I here warn the youth, and the public in general, against those advertised
"_institutes_," though the name may be selected from that of some
benevolent individual,--to give it a look of a benevolent character,--even
though it be a "Nightengale," or a "Peabody," or a "St. Mary," and
managed, _ostensibly_, under the sanction of the church or state--beware
of it. Without, it is the whited sepulchre, within, the blood, flesh, and
bones of dead men, women, and children.
Some years since there was found, after the flight of one Dr. Jaques (?),
in a vault in the city of Boston, the bones of some half score infants.
The murderous charlatan escaped the halter he so richly deserved, and was
practising in a New England village not above six years since.
Another impostor, who has been extensively advertised in this city under
an assumed name--selected to correspond with the familiar name of a
celebrated New York (also a late Boston) physician and surgeon--who not
only cheekily claims to be an "M. D.," but assumes the titles of F. R. S.,
etc., was but a short time before a dry goods seller on Hanover Street. He
never read a standard medical work in his life. Although the villain has
gone to parts unknown to the writer, the concern he recently represented
as "consulting physician" is in full blast, and the same name and titles
are blazoned forth daily in the public prints.
Men get rich in these "institutes," take in an "assistant" for a few
weeks, then sell out to the _novus homo_, and the thing goes on under the
old name until the new man gains strength and confidence sufficient to
carry it along under his own or his assumed title.