[Illustration:
_C. Harding Pinx.ᵗ_ _Pendleton’s, Lithog.ʸ Boston._
_Your friend_
_Hannah Adams._]
A
MEMOIR
OF
MISS HANNAH ADAMS,
WRITTEN BY HERSELF.
WITH
ADDITIONAL NOTICES,
BY A FRIEND.
BOSTON:
PUBLISHED BY GRAY AND BOWEN.
1832.
ENTERED according to Act of Congress, in the year 1832,
By GRAY & BOWEN,
in the Clerk’s office of the District Court of Massachusetts.
PRINTED BY I. R. BUTTS BOSTON.
INTRODUCTORY NOTE.
The autobiography of MISS ADAMS is written with the modesty and
unobtrusiveness which distinguished her character. It appears as if
composed reluctantly, under the feeling that the community could hardly
care to know anything about the struggles, disappointments, hopes
and purposes of an individual so humble as herself. She undertook
the task at the request of some of her friends, who thought that the
circumstances of her life, and the traits of her character, well
deserved to be remembered. But her principal motive in executing it,
was to leave it as a legacy, which she hoped might be of some small
benefit to an aged and very infirm sister, to whose comfort she had
devoted her little savings for many years. It presents a lithographic
drawing of herself, which will recall the features of her mind to those
who knew her, and give some idea of them to those who did not.
The continuation of her life is by a lady, one of those friends
whose kindness she has acknowledged with warm gratitude towards the
conclusion of her own narrative. It could not have been confided to
better hands. The discrimination and delicacy with which the retiring
virtues, and nicer shades of her character are delineated and produced,
will explain to those who did not know her, what was the charm that
drew genius and wealth, and youth and beauty, to minister with so much
interest to the infirmities of a poor old woman.
MISS ADAMS was indeed deserving of such interest. Her life is, in many
respects, full of instruction. Among those who have overcome great
and peculiar difficulties in the pursuit of knowledge, she holds a
distinguished place. She became a literary woman, when literature was
a rare accomplishment in our country. She has produced one work, her
History of Religions, which is the best of its kind, eminent for its
great impartiality. But it was not merely for her powers of mind that
she was remarkable, but for her warm affections, her glow of gratitude,
and her childlike simplicity. It is honorable to the community in which
she lived, that an individual, destitute as she was of all adventitious
claims to distinction, should have been properly estimated and
respected.
This note is prefixed by the gentlemen to whom she left the charge of
publishing her manuscript.
A. N.
J. T.
CHAPTER I.
Being arrived at an age in which I cannot reasonably expect my life
will be long continued, at the request of a highly esteemed friend I am
about to give a concise outline of my past life; notwithstanding I am
sensible that a retrospect of past errors, faults and misfortunes, will
be exceedingly painful.
I was born in Medfield, a country town about eighteen miles from
Boston. My father early imbibed a love of literature, and prepared to
enter the university. But as his constitution then appeared to be very
infirm, and he was an only son, his parents were strenuously opposed
to his leaving them. Accordingly, to his inexpressible disappointment,
he was obliged to settle upon their large farm, without a suitable
knowledge of, or taste for, agricultural pursuits. This induced him to
open a shop, for the sale, principally, of English Goods and Books. His
taste for reading continued unabated till his death, which took place
at the advanced age of eightyeight years.
From my infancy I had a feeble constitution; in particular, an extreme
weakness and irritability in my nervous system. Hence I can recollect
uneasiness and pain previous to any pleasurable sensations. My mother
was an excellent woman, and deservedly esteemed and beloved; but as
her own health was delicate, and she possessed great tenderness and
sensibility, I was educated in all the habits of debilitating softness,
which probably added to my constitutional want of bodily and mental
firmness.
My father’s circumstances then appeared affluent, and it was not
supposed I should be reduced to the necessity of supporting myself by
my own exertions. Partly from ill health, and an early singularity
of taste, I took no pleasure in the amusements to which children are
generally much attached. My health did not even admit of attending
school with the children in the neighborhood where I resided. The
country schools, at that time, were kept but a few months in the
year, and all that was then taught in them was reading, writing and
arithmetic. In the summer, the children were instructed by females
in reading, sewing, and other kinds of work. The books chiefly made
use of were the Bible, and Psalter. Those who have had the advantages
of receiving the rudiments of their education at the schools of the
present day, can scarcely form an adequate idea of the contrast between
them, and those of an earlier age; and of the great improvements which
have been made even in the common country schools. The disadvantages of
my early education I have experienced during life; and, among various
others, the acquiring a very faulty pronunciation; a habit contracted
so early, that I cannot wholly rectify it in later years.
In my early years I was extremely timid, and averse from appearing in
company. Indeed, I found but few with whom I could happily associate.
My life, however, was not devoid of enjoyment. The first strong
propensity of my mind which I can recollect, was an ardent curiosity,
and desire to acquire knowledge. I remember that my first idea of the
happiness of Heaven was, of a place where we should find our thirst
for knowledge fully gratified. From my predominant taste I was induced
to apply to reading, and as my father had a considerable library, I
was enabled to gratify my inclination. I read with avidity a variety
of books, previously to my mind’s being sufficiently matured, and
strengthened, to make a proper selection. I was passionately fond of
novels; and, as I lived in a state of seclusion, I acquired false ideas
of life. The ideal world which my imagination formed was very different
from the real. My passions were naturally strong, and this kind of
reading heightened my sensibility, by calling it forth to realize
scenes of imaginary distress. I was also an enthusiastic admirer of
poetry; and as my memory, at an early period, was very tenacious, I
committed much of the writings of my favorite poets to memory, such
as Milton, Thomson, Young, &c. I did not, however, neglect the study
of history and biography, in each of which kind of reading I found an
inexhaustible fund to feast my mind, and gratify my curiosity.
Another source of my enjoyments in early life was an ardent admiration
of the beauties of nature. This enthusiasm was heightened by the
glowing descriptions of poetic writers, and I entered into all their
feelings. This taste has continued through life. At the present time,
when age and experience have in some measure repressed the warmth of my
feelings, and while I am now writing, I should be more delighted with
beautiful rural prospects, and fine flowers, than when in early life I
used to be enraptured with contemplating the sublime and beautiful in
the works of creation.
My early life was diversified with few events, and those of a painful
nature. The loss of my excellent mother, which happened when I had
reached my tenth year, was the first severe trial I was called to
suffer. When her death took place, I was at an age when maternal
direction is of the greatest importance, particularly in the education
of daughters. Soon after, I was bereaved of an aunt, who was attached
to me with almost maternal fondness. A few years after, my father
failed in trade, in consequence of which I was reduced to poverty, with
a constitution and early habits which appeared invincible obstacles
to my supporting myself by my own exertions. Instead of that gayety,
which is often attendant on youth, I was early accustomed to scenes of
melancholy and distress; and every misfortune was enhanced by a radical
want of health, and firmness of mind. My life passed in seclusion, with
gloomy prospects before me, and surrounded with various perplexities
from which I could not extricate myself. The solitude in which I lived
was, however, to me, preferable to society in general; and to that, and
to my natural singularity, I must impute that awkwardness of manners,
of which I never could divest myself at an advanced period of life. A
consciousness of this awkwardness produced a dislike to the company
of strangers. Those who have been accustomed to general society
when young, can scarcely imagine the trembling timidity I felt, when
introduced to my superiors in circumstances and education. I, however,
enjoyed society upon a small scale. I had a few dear friends, (for
novels had taught me to be very romantic,) who were chiefly in indigent
circumstances, and like myself had imbibed a taste for reading, and
were particularly fond of poetry and novels. Most of them wrote verses,
which were read and admired by the whole little circle. Our mutual love
of literature, want of fortune, and indifference to the society of
those whose minds were wholly uncultivated, served to cement a union
between us, which was interrupted only by the removal of the parties
to distant places, and dissolved only by their death. Yet I soon
experienced this melancholy change. One after another became victims to
the King of Terrors, till our little society was greatly diminished;
and I deeply felt these bereavements which were irreparable.
Still, however, I was blessed with a sister of similar taste and
sentiments, but very different in her disposition. I was warm and
irritable in my temper; she, placid and even. I was fluctuating and
undecided; she, steady and judicious. I was extremely timid; she
blended softness with courage and fortitude. I was inclined to be
melancholy, though sometimes in high spirits; she was uniformly serene
and cheerful. I placed the strongest reliance upon her judgment, and
as she was older than myself, she seemed the maternal friend, as well
as the best of sisters. In short, ‘she was my _guide_, my _friend_, my
_earthly all_.’
As I was too feeble to engage in any laborious employments, I found
considerable leisure for reading; and as my happiness chiefly consisted
in literary pursuits, I was very desirous of learning the rudiments of
Latin, Greek, geography, and logic. Some gentlemen who boarded at my
father’s offered to instruct me in these branches of learning gratis,
and I pursued these studies with indescribable pleasure and avidity. I
still, however, sensibly felt the want of a more systematic education,
and those advantages which females enjoy in the present day. Yet as I
always read with great rapidity, perhaps few of my sex have perused
more books at the age of twenty than I had. Yet my reading was very
desultory, and novels engaged too much of my attention. Though my
seclusion from the world preserved me from many temptations which are
incident to young people, I was perhaps more exposed to errors of the
understanding, than those who in early life have mixed more with the
world. Time and experience have led me to see the falsity of many of
my early opinions, and ideas, and made me sensible that they were the
source of a large share of the misfortunes of my following life.