THE JOY OF FREEDOM.
At length the long sought opportunity arrived, and with the most extatic
joy we fled from the nunnery. The girl I have before mentioned, who
wished to go with me, and another nun, with whom I had no acquaintance,
were left in the kitchen to assist me, in taking charge of the cooking,
while the rest of the people were at mass in the chapel. A chance
presented for us to get away, and we all fled together, leaving the
cooking to take care of itself. We were assisted to get out of the yard,
but how, or by whom, I can never reveal. Death, in its most terrible
form would be the punishment for such an act of kindness, and knowing
this, it would be the basest ingratitude for me to name the individual
who so kindly assisted us in our perilous undertaking.
How well do I remember the emotions that thrilled my soul when I found
myself safely outside the walls of that fearful prison! The joy of
freedom--the hope of ultimate success--the fear of being overtaken,
and dragged back to misery or death, were considerations sufficiently
exciting to agitate our spirits, and lend fleetness to our steps. With
trembling limbs, and throbbing hearts we fled towards the St. Lawrence
river. Following the tow-path, we hastened on for a few miles, when one
of the nuns became exhausted, and said she could go no further. She
was very weak when we started, and the excitement and fatigue produced
serious illness. What should we do with her? We could not take her along
with us, and if we stopped with her, we might all be taken and carried
back. Must we leave her by the way-side? It was a fearful alternative,
but what else could we do? With sad hearts we took her to a shed near
by, and there we left her to her fate, whatever it might be; perchance
to die there alone, or what was still worse, be carried back to the
convent. It was indeed, a sorrowful parting, and we wept bitter tears
together, as we bade her a last farewell. I never saw or heard from her
again.
We pursued our way along the tow-path for a short distance, when the
canal boat came along. We asked permission to go upon the boat, and the
captain kindly granted it, but desired us to be very still. He carried
us twelve miles, and then proposed to leave us, as he exposed himself to
a heavy fine by carrying us without a pass, and unattended by a priest
or Superior. We begged him to take us as far as he went with the boat,
and frankly told him our situation. Having no money to offer, we could
only cast ourselves on his mercy, and implore his pity and assistance.
He consented to take us as far as the village of Beauharnois, and there
he left us. He did not dare take us further, lest some one might be
watching for us, and find us on his boat.
It was five o'clock in the morning when we left the boat, but it was
a Roman Catholic village, and we did not dare to stop. All that day we
pursued our way without food or drink, and at night we were tired and
hungry. Arriving at a small village, we ventured to stop at the most
respectable looking house, and asked the woman if she could keep us over
night. She looked at us very attentively and said she could not. We did
not dare to call again, for we knew that we were surrounded by those who
would think they were doing a good work to deliver us up to the priests.
Darkness came over the earth, but still weary and sleepy as we were, we
pursued our lonely way. I will not repeat our bitter reflections upon a
cold hearted world, but the reader will readily imagine what they were.
Late in the evening, we came to an old barn. I think it must have
been four or five miles from the village. There was no house, or other
building near it, and as no person was in sight, we ventured to enter.
Here, to our great joy, we found a quantity of clean straw, with which
we soon prepared a comfortable bed, where we could enjoy the luxury of
repose. We slept quietly through the night, and at the early dawn awoke,
refreshed and encouraged, but O, so hungry! Gladly would we have eaten
anything in the shape of food, but nothing could we find.
The morning star was yet shining brightly above us, as we again started
on our journey. At length our hearts were cheered by the sight of a
village. The first house we came to stood at some distance from the
other buildings, and we saw two women in a yard milking cows. We called
at the door, and asked the lady for some milk. "O yes," said she, with
a sweet smile, "come in, and rest awhile, and you shall have all you
want." She thought we were Sisters of Charity, for they often go about
visiting the sick, and praying with the people. It is considered a very
meritorious act to render them assistance, and speed them on their way;
but to help a runaway nun is to commit a crime of sufficient magnitude
to draw down the anathema of the church. Therefore, while we carefully
concealed our real character, we gratefully accepted the aid we so much
needed, but which, we were sure, would have been withheld had she known
to whom it was offered. After waiting till the cows were milked, and
she had finished her own breakfast, she filled a large earthen pan
with bread and milk, gave each of us a spoon, and we ate as much as
we wished. As we arose to depart, she gave each of us a large piece of
bread to carry with us, and asked us to pray with her. We accordingly
knelt in prayer; implored heaven's blessing on her household, and then
took our leave of this kind lady, never more to meet her on earth; but
she will never be forgotten.
That day we traveled a long distance, at least, so it seemed to us. When
nearly overcome with fatigue, we saw from the tow-path an island in the
river, and upon it a small house. Near the shore a man stood beside a
canoe. We made signs to him to come to us, and he immediately sprang
into his canoe and came over. We asked him to take us to the island, and
he cheerfully granted our request, but said we must sit very still, or
we would find ourselves in the water. I did not wonder he thought so,
for the canoe was very small, and the weight of three persons sank it
almost even with the surface of the river, while the least motion would
cause it to roll from side to side, so that we really felt that we were
in danger of a very uncomfortable bath if nothing worse.
We landed safely, however, and were kindly welcomed by the Indian
family in the house. Six squaws were sitting on the floor, some of them
smoking, others making shoes and baskets. They were very gayly dressed,
their skirts handsomely embroidered with beads and silk of various
colors. One of the girls seemed very intelligent, and conversed fluently
in the English language which she spoke correctly. But she did not
look at all like an Indian, having red hair and a lighter skin than the
others. She was the only one in the family that I could converse with,
as the rest of them spoke only their native dialect; but the nun who was
with me could speak both French and Indian.
They treated us with great kindness, gave us food, and invited in to
stay and live with them; said we could be very happy there, and to
induce us to remain, they informed us that the village we saw on the
other side of the river, called St. Regis, was inhabited by Indians, but
they were all Roman Catholics. They had a priest, and a church where
we could go to Mass every Sabbath. Little did they imagine that we were
fleeing for life from the Romish priests; that so far from being an
inducement to remain with them, this information was the very thing to
send us on our way with all possible speed. We did not dare to stay,
for I knew full well that if any one who had seen us went to confession,
they would be obliged to give information of our movements; and if one
priest heard of us, he would immediately telegraph to all the priests
in the United States and Canada, and we should be watched on every side.
Escape would then be nearly impossible, therefore we gently, but firmly
refused to accept the hospitality of these good people, and hastened to
bid them farewell.
I asked the girl how far it was to the United States. She said it was
two miles to Hogansburg, and that was in the States. We then asked the
man to take us in his canoe to the village of St. Regis on the other
side of the river. He consented, but, I thought, with some reluctance,
and before he allowed us to land, he conversed some minutes with the
Indians who met him on the shore. We could not hear what they said, but
my fears were at once awakened. I thought they suspected us, and if so,
we were lost. But the man came back at length, and, assisted us from the
boat. If he had any suspicions he kept them to himself.
Soon after we reached the shore I met a man, of whom I enquired when
a boat would start for Hogansburg. He gazed at us a moment, and then
pointed to five boats out in the river, and said those were the last
to go that day. They were then ready to start, and waited only for the
tow-boat to take them along. But they were so far away we could not get
to them, even if we dared risk ourselves among so many passengers. What
could we do? To stay there over night, was not to be thought of for a
moment. We were sure to be taken, and carried back, if we ventured to
try it. Yet there was but one alternative; either remain there till the
next day, or try to get a passage on the tow-boat. It did not take me a
long time to decide for myself, and I told the nun that I should go on,
if the captain would take me! "What! go on the tow-boat!" she exclaimed,
"There are no ladies on that boat, and I do not like to go with so
many men." "I am not afraid of the men," I replied, "if they are not
Romanists, and I am resolved to go." "Do not leave me," she cried, with
streaming tears. "I am sure we can get along better if we keep together,
but I dare not go on the boat." "And I dare not stay here," said I,
and so we parted. I to pursue my solitary way, she to go, I know not
whither. I gave her the parting hand, and have never heard from her
since, but I hope she succeeded better than I did, in her efforts to
escape.
I went directly to the captain of the boat and asked him if he could
carry me to the States. He said he should go as far as Ogdensburg, and
would carry me there, if I wished; or he could set me off at some place
where he stopped for wood and water. When I told him I had no money to
pay him, he smiled, and asked if I was a run-a-way. I frankly confessed
that I was, for I thought it was better for me to tell the truth than
to try to deceive. "Well," said the captain, "I will not betray you; but
you had better go to my state-room and stay there." I thanked him, but
said I would rather stay where I was. He then gave me the key to his
room, and advised me to go in and lock the door, "for," said he, "we are
not accustomed to have ladies in this boat, and the men may annoy you.
You will find it more pleasant and comfortable to stay there alone."
Truly grateful for his kindness, and happy to escape from the gaze of
the men, I followed his direction; nor did I leave the room again until
I left the boat. The captain brought me my meals, but did not attempt to
enter the room. There was a small window with a spring on the inside; he
would come and tap on the window, and ask me to raise it, when he would
hand me a waiter on which he had placed a variety of refreshments, and
immediately retire.