["The public will welcome an announcement that the standard clothing
scheme may be revived on a voluntary basis."--_The Times_.]
I do not ask for silk attire,
For purple, no, nor puce;
The only wear that I require
Is something plain and loose,
A quiet set of reach-me-downs for serviceable use.
For these, which I must have because
The honour of the Press
Compels me, by unwritten laws,
To clothe my nakedness,
Four guineas is my limit--more or (preferably) less.
Let others go in Harris tweeds,
Men of the leisured sort;
Mine are the modest, homely needs
That with my state comport;
I am a simple labouring man whose work is all his sport.
I covet not the gear of those
Who neither toil nor spin;
I merely want some standard clo's
To drape my standard skin,
Wrought of material suitable for writing verses in.
Something that won't pick up the dust
When rhymes refuse to flow;
And roomy, lest the seams be bust
Should the afflatus blow--
Say five-and-forty round the ribs and rather more below.
For poets they should stock a brand
To serve each type's behest--
Pastoral, epic, lyric--and
An outer size of chest
For those whose puffy job it is to build the arduous jest.