_Buying the Ring_.
It is the gentleman's business to buy the ring; _and let him take
especial care not to forget it_; for such an awkward mistake has
frequently happened. The ring should be, we need scarcely say, of the
very purest gold, but substantial. There are three reasons for this:
first, that it may not break--a source of great trouble to the young
wife; secondly, that it may not slip off the finger without being
missed--few husbands being pleased to hear that their wives have lost
their wedding rings; and, thirdly, that it may last out the lifetime
of the loving recipient, even should that life be protracted to the
extreme extent. To get at the right size required is not one of the
least interesting of the delicate mysteries of love. A not unusual
method is to get a sister of the fair one to lend one of the lady's
rings, to enable the jeweller to select the proper size. Care must
be taken, however, that it be not too large. Some audacious suitors,
rendered bold by their favoured position, have been even known
presumptuously to try the ring on the patient finger of the
bride-elect; and it has rarely happened in such cases that the ring
has been refused, or sent back to be changed.
Having bought the ring, the bridegroom should now put it into his
waistcoat-pocket, there to remain until he puts on his wedding vest on
the morning of the marriage; to the left-hand pocket of which he must
then carefully transfer it, and not part with it until he takes it out
in the church during the wedding ceremony.
In ancient days, it appears by the "Salisbury Manual," there was a
form of "Blessing the Wedding Ring" before the wedding day; and in
those times the priest, previously to the ring being put on, always
made careful inquiry whether it had been duly blessed. It would seem
to be the wish of certain clergymen, who have of late brought back
into use many ceremonial observances that had fallen into desuetude,
to revive this ancient custom.
_Who should be Asked to the Wedding_.
The wedding should take place at the house of the bride's parents or
guardians. The parties who ought to be asked are the father and mother
of the gentleman, the brothers and sisters (their wives and husbands
also, if married), and indeed the immediate relations and favoured
friends of both parties. Old family friends on the bride's side should
also receive invitations--the _rationale_ or original intention of
this wedding assemblage being to give publicity to the fact that the
bride is leaving her paternal home with the consent and approbation of
her parents.
On this occasion the bridegroom has the privilege of asking any
friends he may choose to the wedding; but no friend has a right to
feel affronted at not being invited, since, were all the friends
on either side assembled, the wedding breakfast would be an
inconveniently crowded reception, rather than an impressive
ceremonial. It is, however, considered a matter of friendly attention
on the part of those who cannot be invited, to be present at the
ceremony in the church.
_Who should be Bridesmaids_.
The bridesmaids should include the unmarried sisters of the bride;
but it is considered an anomaly for an elder sister to perform this
function. The pleasing novelty for several years past, of an addition
to the number of bridesmaids varying from two to eight, and sometimes
more, has added greatly to the interest of weddings, the bride being
thus enabled to diffuse a portion of her own happiness among the
most intimate of her younger friends. One lady is always appointed
principal bridesmaid, and has the bride in her charge; it is also her
duty to take care that the other bridesmaids have the wedding favours
in readiness. On the second bridesmaid devolves, with her principal,
the duty of sending out the cards; and on the third bridesmaid, in
conjunction with the remaining beauties of her choir, the onerous
office of attending to certain ministrations and mysteries connected
with the wedding cake.
_Of the Bridegroomsmen_.
It behoves a bridegroom to be exceedingly particular in the selection
of the friends who, as groomsmen, are to be his companions and
assistants on the occasion of his wedding. Their number is limited to
that of the bridesmaids: one for each. It is unnecessary to add that
very much of the social pleasure of the day will depend on their
proper mating. Young and unmarried they must be, handsome they should
be, good-humoured they cannot fail to be, well dressed they will of
course take good care to be. Let the bridegroom diligently con over
his circle of friends, and select the comeliest and the pleasantest
fellows for his own train. The principal bridegroomsman, styled his
"best man" has, for the day, the special charge of the bridegroom;
and the last warning we would give him is, to take care that, when the
bridegroom puts on his wedding waistcoat, he does not omit to put the
wedding ring into the corner of the left-hand pocket. The dress of
a groomsman should be light and elegant; a dress coat, formerly
considered indispensable, is no longer adopted.
_Duties to be Attended to the Day before the Wedding_.
The bride now sends white gloves, wrapped in white paper and tied with
white ribbon, to each of the bridesmaids.
The bridegroom does the same to each of the bridegroomsmen.
One portion of the wedding cake is cut into small oblong pieces, and
passed by the bridesmaids through the wedding ring, which is delivered
into their charge for this purpose. The pieces of cake are afterwards
put up in ornamental paper, generally pink or white, enamelled,
and tied with bows of silvered paper. This pleasant old custom is,
however, much on the wane.
The bridegroom's "best man" on this day must take care that due notice
be sent to the clerk of the parish where the ceremony is to take
place, so that the church may be got ready, and the clergyman be in
attendance.
It is usual too for the bridegroom's "best man" to make arrangements
for the church bells being rung after the ceremony: the _rationale_ of
this being to imply that it is the province of the husband to call on
all the neighbours to rejoice with him on his receiving his wife, and
not that of the lady's father on her going from his house.
The bridegroom furnishes to the bridesmaids his list for the "Cards"
to be sent to his friends; of which hereafter.
On the evening of this day the wedding breakfast should be ornamented
and spread out, as far as possible, in the apartment appropriated to
it.
The bridesmaids on this evening also prepare the wedding favours,
which should be put up in a box ready to be conveyed to the church on
the morning of the marriage. A picturesque custom is observed in many
country weddings, where the bride's friends strew her path to the
church door with flowers.
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