gentleman, an honourable lady and myself reading of this passage of
Livy together one day, we did suddenly exclaim one to the other, how
seeing these two honourable dames had gone thus far and had performed
such good and pious offices, that doubtless they had gone on to yet
others, and had bestowed on the poor prisoners the charity of their
fair bodies. For indeed in former days they had distributed these same
alms to other folk, being then courtesans, or mayhap being so still.
Still the book doth not say so, but leaveth this point in doubt; yet
may we guess how ’twas. But even granting they had of yore plied this
trade, but had now left it off for some space, yet might they very well
have taken it up again, nothing being more easy and facile to do. Then
likely enough they did recognise and once again receive some of the
good lovers of their former acquaintance, and were now ready to return
once more somewhat on their old courses. Or again ’tis quite likely
that among the prisoners, they may have seen some, hitherto unknown
and which they had never set eyes on but this once, and found the same
handsome, brave, valiant and well-liking gallants, that did well
deserve all their charity, and so could they do no otherwise than grant
them full enjoyment of their good favours.
Thus, in whatsoever way it came about, did these honourable ladies well
earn the courtesy which the Roman Commonwealth showed them, making them
to recover all their goods, and assuring them the peaceable enjoyment
of the same for all time. Nay! more, they did make known to them how
they might ask what they would, and they should have their request.
And to speak candidly, if Titus Livy had not been so reticent and
unduly constrained by shamefacedness and overmodesty, he might very
well have spoke right out about these ladies, and said plainly they did
not grudge the favour of their fair bodies. So would this passage of
History have been yet more excellent and entertaining to peruse, had he
not thus docked his narrative, and left sticking at his pen-point the
best part of the tale. Such was the discourse we three did hold thereon
at the time.
13.
King John of France,[90] when a prisoner in England, did in like-wise
receive many marks of favour from the Countess of Salisbury, and such
pleasant ones that, not being able to forget the same and the titbits
she bestowed on him, he did return once more to see her again, as she
had made him swear and promise he would do.
Other ladies there be which are complaisant herein up to a certain
point of conscience and charity. Of this sort was one which would never
suffer her lover, sleep with her as oft as he might, to kiss her the
least in the world on the lips, giving as her reason that ’twas her
mouth had made the oath of faith and fealty to her husband, and she
would fain not foul the same by way of the very mouth that had made and
taken it. But as for that of the body, the which had said never a word
and promised naught, this she did let him do with at his good pleasure,
and made no scruple to yield to her lover, seeing it is not in the
competence of the upper part to pledge itself for the lower, any more
than for the lower for the upper. For that the custom of Law doth say
that none can bind himself for another without the consent and word of
either party, nor one only for the whole.
Another most conscientious and scrupulous dame, when granting her
friend enjoyment of her, would always take the upper station and
bring her man under her, never abating one jot of this rule. For,
by observing the same straitly and regularly, she would say, if her
husband or any other did ask whether such an one had done to her, that
she could deny even on oath, and assuredly protest, without sinning
against God, that never had he done so with her. This oath she did so
emphatically make as to quite satisfy her husband and others by dint
of her confident swearing in answer to their questions. So did they
credit her in what she alleged, “yet had never the wit,” she would say,
“to demand if ever she had taken the upper part herself; by the which
question they would have brought much scorn on me,” she said, “and sore
trouble of mind.”
Methinks I have before now spoke of this point; yet cannot a man always
remember everything. Moreover it doth better accord with the matter
here in hand than with other, as it seemeth me.
Commonly ladies of this sort are great liars, and speak never a word
of truth. For so trained are they and broken in to lying,—and truly
if they do otherwise, they are fools, and come but to ill,—to their
husbands and lovers anent these matters and these changes of love,
and so used to swearing they never give themselves to any but them
only, that when they come to deal with other matters of consequence,
of business or argument, they never do aught but lie, and no man can
believe a thing they say.
Other women again I have both known and heard speak of, which would
never grant their favours to their lovers but when they were with
child, to the end they might not conceive. Wherein they did make great
scruple so as not to falsely give their husbands a fruit that was not
really theirs, and nourish, feed and bring up the same as their own. I
have already spoke on this subject. However, being once pregnant, they
would deem they were doing the husband no wrong nor making him cuckold
by prostituting themselves.
Very like, some were used to do thus for the same reasons as moved
Julia, the Emperor Augustus’ daughter and wife of Agrippa, who in her
time was a notorious harlot, whereat was her father more sore angered
than her husband. Once being asked if that she were not afeared of
being made pregnant by her lovers, and her husband noting it and being
very wroth with her, she made answer: “Nay! I take good heed in this,
for I do receive no man and take never a passenger in my ship, but when
it is laden and carrying full cargo.”
Now here we have yet another sort of cuckolds; and these same are
true martyrs, they which have wives as ugly as devils in hell, who
nevertheless are fain to take their share in tasting the sweets of
love just as much as their fairer sisters, though these last properly
do deserve this privilege alone according to the proverb: “Handsome
men to the gallows, fair dames to the brothel.”[91] Yet do these ugly
coal-wenches play the gay woman like the rest. And they must needs
be forgiven; for are they not women too, and with a like nature and
complexion, only not so fair seeming. I have seen very plain women, at
any rate in their youth, which did rate themselves just as highly as
fairer dames, deeming that a woman is valued at just the worth she doth
put upon herself and will sell herself for. Even as at a good market
all sorts of wares are sold and pledged, some at a high, some at a
lower rate, according to the amount of business a-doing, and the time
at which one cometh to market after others, and according to the good
or bad price one doth find ruling there. For, as folk say, a man goeth
always to the best market, and albeit the stuff be not of the best, the
price will depend on the skill of the market-man and market-woman.
So is it with plain women, of whom I have seen some that, by my troth,
were as hot and lustful and as well inclined for love as the fairest,
and would put themselves on the market and be as fain as any to get a
good price and full value.
But the worst thing I find in them is this, that whereas the dealers
make offers to the fairest, these others do make offers to the dealers
and beg them to take and accept of their goods, the which they are
ready to give them for nothing or at a very low price. Nay! they go
further still; for most often they do give them money to taste of their
lecherousness and be debauched of them. Now look at the pity of it!
for in payment of such debauching no little sum of money is needed,—so
much so that it doth cost more than the person is worth. And yet is the
poor husband no less degraded and made cuckold by a plain wife, whose
fare is much harder to digest than a beautiful woman’s. To say nothing
of a man’s having to lie by his side a devil of hell, in place of a
beauteous angel.
Wherefore I have heard many gallant men say they had rather have a
beautiful woman, and one something whorish, than a plain woman, though
the most chaste in all the world. For in a foul dame is to be found
naught but wretchedness and displeasure; in a fair one is abundance of
all pleasure and good happiness,—as some folk maintain. For myself I
refer me to such as have trod this roadway and path.
I have heard some men say sometimes, that for husbands it is no such
grand thing for them to have their wives chaste. For then are these
so boastful of the fact, I mean those women that do possess this most
uncommon gift, that you might almost declare them fain to dominate
not alone their husbands, but the very world itself and the stars of
heaven! Nay! they seem to think, judging from their pride of chastity,
that God doth owe them some special return therefor. Yet are they
greatly deceived; for I have heard learned Doctors say, how that God
doth more love a poor sinful woman, repentant and contrite, as in the
case of the Magdalene, than a prideful and haughty dame, which doth
suppose she hath surely won Paradise, without any need for the pity
and merciful judgment of God.
I have heard tell of a lady so boastful by reason of her chastity that
she did come so to look down upon her husband, that when asked if she
had lain with him, “No!” she would reply, “but he hath lain with me.”
So proud a dame was she! I leave you to imagine how these same silly,
boastful, virtuous wives do chide their poor husbands, even though they
may have naught really to reproach them with. So in especial do such
wives as are chaste and rich likewise. A wife that is at once virtuous
and wealthy in her own right, will ever be playing the disdainful,
haughty, proud and bold lady towards her husband, so that by reason of
the over high value she doth set on her chastity and her well guarded
front, she cannot refrain her from putting on the airs of an empress
and chiding her husband on his committing the smallest fault, as I have
seen sundry do, and above all on his ill way of life. If he gamble, or
be wasteful or extravagant, mightily doth she protest and storm, making
her home to seem rather a hell upon earth than an honourable household.
Then if he need to sell aught of his property to meet the cost of
a journey to Court or to the wars, or of his lawsuits, necessities
or minor follies and frivolous expenses, never a word must he speak
thereof. For such an empire hath the wife assumed over him, resting it
on the strong foundation of her virtue, that her husband must needs
refer all to her judgment, as Juvenal well says in one of his Satires:
“... Animus uxoris si deditus uni,
Nil unquam invita donabis conjuge; vendes,
Hac obstante, nihil haec, si nolit, emetur.”[92]
These lines of the poet show plainly that the ancient Roman dames were
in this matter of an humour much akin to that of many ladies of our own
day. On the contrary, when a wife is something whorish, she will show
herself far more accommodating, more yielding, docile and timid, of a
much gentler and more agreeable disposition, more humble and ready to
do aught her husband may desire, and more complaisant to him in all
things. So have I seen some such which durst never scold or cry out,
nor show themselves cross-gained, for fear the husband should confront
them with their fault and throw their adultery in their face, and make
them to feel the consequences thereof at the cost of their life itself.
Then if the gallant fellow is fain to sell some property of theirs, lo!
their names are writ to the contract before ever the husband have time
to say the word. Many of this sort have I seen. In one word they do
what their husbands please.
Well! are these then so sorely hurt to be made cuckold of such fair
dames, and to win of them such fine goods and advantages as these,—to
say naught of the fine, delightsome pleasure they do enjoy in wantoning
with suchlike beauteous women, and swimming, so to speak, with them
in a beautiful, clear stream instead of a foul and repulsive slough?
And since a man must die, as a certain great Captain I know used to
say, is it not far better for it to be by a fine fresh sword, bright,
clear, shining and keen-edged, than by an old blade, all rusted and ill
burnished, one calling for more emery than all the sword-cutlers of
Paris together could furnish?
And what I say of young women that are plain, I say the like of some
old women, the which are fain to be debauched and be kept clean and
bright by use, just as much as the fairest in all the world. Elsewhere
do I give a special Discourse to this subject (the Fifth Discourse,
following). And this is the worst of it: when their husbands cannot
fulfil the duty, then the rogues will be calling in substitutes,
being every bit as passionate as younger women, or even more so. So
have I seen some that neither at the beginning nor the middle of life
are ready to be excited, but only at the end. And rightly do men say
that in these matters the end is more fierce than the two other ages,
the beginning and the middle,—so far as wishing goes. For very often
strength and competence are then lacking, a thing that doth vex them
sore,—as saith the old proverb: ’Tis great grief and pain, when a
backside hath right good will, but power is a-wanting.
So are there always some of these poor old wretches, which do admit
their lovers gratis, like a muleteer on his beast, and do distribute
their largess at the expense of their two purses; but ’tis the money
purse only makes these find the other, the body’s purse, good and
narrow. Thus we say that liberality is more to be esteemed in all
matters than avarice and niggardliness, except only with women,
who, the more liberal they are, the less are they esteemed, but the
avaricious and niggard all the more for being so.
This was what a great Lord did say one time of two great ladies,
sisters, whom I know of, whereof the one was niggard of her honour, but
liberal of her purse and expenditure, the other exceeding chary of her
purse and money, but very liberal of her person.
Next there is yet another sort of cuckolds, one that of a surety is
utterly abominable and hateful before God and man alike, they who,
enamoured of some handsome Adonis, do abandon their wives to men of
this kind in order to enjoy their favour in return.
The first time ever I was in Italy, I did hear of an example of this
at Ferrara, the tale being told me of one who, captivated by a certain
handsome youth, did persuade his wife to accord her favours to the said
young man, who was in love with her, and to appoint a day and consent
to do all he should bid her. The lady was willing enough, for truly
she did desire no better venison to regale herself withal than this.
At length was the day fixed, and the hour being come when the young
lover and the lady were at their pleasant game and entertainment, lo!
the husband, who was hid near at hand, according to the compact betwixt
him and his wife, did rush in. So catching them in the very act, he
did put his dagger to the lover’s throat, deeming him worthy of death
for such offence, in accordance with the laws of Italy, which herein
be something more rigorous than in France. So was he constrained to
grant the husband what he did desire, and they made exchange one with
the other. The young man did prostitute himself and the husband did
abandon his wife to the young man. Thus was the husband cuckold after
an exceeding foul fashion.[93*]
I have heard tell of a lady, which being desperately in love with an
honourable gentleman whom she had taken for lover and chief favourite,
and this latter fearing the husband would do him or her some ill
turn, did comfort him, saying, “Nay! have no fear, for he would in no
wise dare do aught, for dread I should accuse him of having wished
to practice the backdoor Venus, which might well bring about his
death, if I were to breathe the least word thereof and denounce him to
justice. But in this way I do hold him in check and in terror, so that
for fear of my accusation, he dares not say one word to me.”
Without a doubt such accusation would have involved the poor husband in
naught less than peril of his life; for the legists declare that this
act is punishable for the mere wish to commit the same. But mayhap the
lady did never mean to let out the word altogether, and would not have
gone so far as this without reconsidering her intent.
I have been told how in one of these latter years a young French
gentleman, a handsome gallant that had been seen many a day at Court,
being gone to Rome for instruction in manly exercises, like others his
contemporaries, was in that city regarded with so favourable an eye,
and did meet with such great admiration of his beauty, as well of men
as of women, that folk were ready almost to force him to their will.
And so whenever they were aware of his going to Mass or other place of
public assemblage, they would never fail, either men or women, to be
there likewise for to see him. Nay, more, several husbands did suffer
their wives to give him love assignations in their houses, to the
end that being come thither and then surprised, they might effect an
exchange, the one of his wife, the other of him. For which cause he was
advised never to yield to the love and wishes of these ladies, seeing
the whole matter had been contrived and arranged merely to entrap him.
And herein he did show himself wise and did set his honour and good
conscience above all such detestable pleasures, winning thereby a high
and worthy repute. Yet at the last his squire did kill him. Divers
reasons are given therefor. At any rate ’twas a sore pity, for that
he was a very honourable young man, of good station, and one that did
promise well of his nature as well by reason of his noble actions as
of the fine and noble character he did manifest herein. For indeed, as
I have heard a very gallant man of my time say, and as is most true,
never yet was _bougre_ or catamite a brave, valiant and generous man
but only the great Julius Cæsar, seeing that by divine permission
and ordinance all such abominable folk are brought low and reduced
to shame. And this doth make me wonder how sundry, whom I have seen
stained by this horrid vice, have yet prospered under heaven in high
good fortune; yet doth God wait for them, and at the last we shall
surely see them meet their proper fate.
How many women there be in the world, which if they were examined
by midwives and doctors and expert surgeons, would be found no more
virgin one way than another, and which could at any moment bring
action against their husbands. Yet do they dissimulate it and dare not
discover the matter, for fear of bringing scandal on themselves and
their husbands, or perhaps because they do find therein some greater
pleasure than we can suppose. Or it may be for the purpose I have above
named,—to keep their husbands in such subjection, if they do make love
in other quarters, which indeed some husbands do on these terms allow
them to do. Yet are none of these reasons really sufficient to account
for the thing.
The _Summa Benedicti_ saith: If the husband chooseth thus to take his
part contrary to the order of nature, he commits a mortal sin; and if
he maintain that he may dispose of his own wife as he please, he doth
fall into a detestable and foul heresy of sundry Jews and evil Rabbis,
which are cited as saying thus, _duabus mulieribus apud synagogam
conquestis se fuisse a viris suis cognitu sodomitico cognitas,
responsum est ab illis Rabinis: virum esse uxoris dominum, proinde
posse uti ejus utcumque libuerit, non aliter quam qui piscem emit: ille
enim, tam anterioribus quam posterioribus partibus, ad arbitrium vesci
posse_.
This have I quoted only in Latin, forasmuch as it soundeth ill to
honourable and modest ears. Abominable wretches that they be,—thus to
desert a fair, pure and lawful habit, to adopt instead one that is
foul, dirty, filthy and forbid, and disgraceful to boot.
But if the man will take the woman so, it is lawful for her to separate
from him, if there is no other means to cure him. And yet, it is
stated again, such women as fear God ought never to consent thereto,
but rather cry out for help, regardless of the scandal which might
so arise, and of dishonour and the fear of death; for ’tis better,
saith the law, to die than to consent to evil. The same book doth say
another thing which I deem very strange: that whatsoever way a husband
know his wife, provided she may conceive thereby, herein is no mortal
sin, but only a venial one. Nor do these same smack at all of marital
purity, albeit, as I have before said, it may be permissible in case
of pregnant women, as well as such as have a strong and unpleasant
breath, whether from the mouth or nose. Thus have I known and heard
speak of several women to kiss whom and scent their breath was as bad
as smelling at a sewer; or to put it another way, I have heard it said
of a certain great lady, a very great one indeed I mean, that once one
of her ladies declared her breath stank more than a backhouse. These
are the very words she used.
I would say more of this, but in truth I have a horror of speaking
thereof at all. It hath vexed me to have said so much as I have; but
’tis needful sometimes to lay open public vices in order to reform the
same.
14.
Next it behoveth me to mention an ill opinion which many have held and
do still hold concerning the Court of our French Kings. Men say the
ladies thereof, both maids and wives, do oft times trip, indeed do so
customarily. But in this are they very much deceived, for truly there
be amongst these very chaste, honourable and virtuous women, nay! even
more than elsewhere. Virtue doth reside there just as much, or more
than in other places,—a fact we should duly prize, for that it can
readily be put to proof.
Je n’alléguerai que ce seul exemple de Mme. la grande-duchesse de
Florence d’aujourd’hui, de la maison de Lorraine,[94*] laquelle étant
arrivée á Florence le soir que le grand-duc l’épousa, et qu’il voulut
aller coucher avec elle pour la dépuceler, il la fit avant pisser dans
un bel urinoir de cristal, le plus beau et le plus clair qu’il put,
et en ayant vu l’urine, il la consulta avec son médecin, qui était un
très grand et très savant et expert personnage, pour savoir de lui, par
cette inspection, si elle était pucelle oui ou non. Le médecin l’ayant
bien fixement et doctement inspectée, il trouva qu’elle était telle
comme quand sortit du ventre de sa mère, et qu’il y allât hardiment,
et qu’il n’y trouverait point le chemin nullement ouvert, frayé ni
battu; ce qu’il fit, et en trouva la vérité telle et puis.
Then next morning, in amaze, he did exclaim thus: “Lo and behold, a
miracle,—that the girl should thus have come forth a virgin from yonder
Court of France!” Truly a curious investigation, and a strange opinion!
I know not if the tale be true, but it hath been confidently affirmed
to me as being so.