seized with for the nonce, and strange how he would keep telling her
again and again how if he should recover, he would no more suffer at
her hands what he had suffered aforetime! Yet, so long as he was alive
and well, he had never been attacked by the like feelings, but ever
let her do at her own good pleasure.
The gallant Tancred[44] did quite otherwise, the same who in old days
did so signalise his valour in the Holy War. Being at the point of
death, and his wife beside him making moan, together with the Count
of Tripoly, he did beg the twain when that he was dead, to wed one
another, and charged his wife to obey him therein,—the which they
afterward did.
Mayhap he had observed some loving dalliance betwixt them during his
lifetime. For she may well have been as very a harlot as her mother,
the Countess of Anjou, who after the Comte de Bretagne had had her
long while, went unto Philip,[44] the King of France, who did treat
her the same fashion, and had of her a bastard daughter called Cicile,
whom after he did give in marriage to this same valorous Tancred, who
by reason of his noble exploits did of a surety little deserve to be
cuckold.
An Albanian, having been condemned in Southern lands to be hung for
some offence, being in the service of the King of France, when he was
to be led out to his punishment, did ask to see his wife, who was a
very fair and lovable woman, and bid her farewell. Then while he was
saying his farewell and in the act of kissing her, lo! he did bite
her nose right off and tear it clean out of her pretty face. And the
officers thereupon questioning him why he had done this horrible thing
to his wife, he replied he had done it out of sheer jealousy, “seeing
she is very fair, for the which after my death I wot well she will
straightway be sought after and given up to some other of my comrades,
for I know her to be exceeding lecherous and one to forget me without
more ado. I am fain therefore she bear me in memory after my death,
and weep and be sorry. If she is not so for my death’s sake, at least
will she be sore grieved at being disfigured, and none of my comrades
will have the pleasure of her I have had.” Verily an appalling instance
of a jealous husband!
I have heard speak of others who, feeling themselves old, failing,
wounded, worn out and near to death, have out of sheer despite and
jealousy privily cut short their mates’ days, even when they have been
fair and beauteous women.
Now as to such strange humours on the part of these cruel and tyrannic
husbands which do thus put their wives to death, I have heard the
question disputed,—to wit, whether it is permitted women, when they
do perceive or suspect the cruelty and murder their husbands are fain
to practise against them, to gain the first hand and anticipate their
aggressors and so save their own lives, making the others play the part
first and sending these on in front to make ready house and home in the
other world.
I have heard it maintained the answer should be yes,—that they may
do so, not certainly according to God’s law, for thereby is all
murder forbid, as I have said, but by the world’s way of thinking,
well enough. This opinion men base on the saying,—better ’tis to be
beforehand than behind. For no doubt everyone is bound to take heed for
his own life; and seeing God hath given it us, we must guard it well
till he shall call us away at our death. Otherwise, knowing their death
to be planned, to go headfirst into the same, and not to escape from
it when they can, is to kill their own selves,—a crime which God doth
very greatly abhor. Wherefore ’tis ever the best plan to send them on
ahead as envoys, and parry their assault, as did Blanche d’Auverbruckt
to her husband, the Sieur de Flavy, Captain of Compiègne and Governor
thereof, the same who did betray the maid of Orleans, and was cause
of her death and undoing. Now this lady Blanche, learning that her
husband did plot to have her drowned, got beforehand with him, and by
aid of his barber did smother and strangle him, for which deed our
King Charles VII.[45] gave her instantly his pardon; though for the
obtaining of this ’tis like the husband’s treason went for much,—more
indeed than any other reason. These facts are to be found in the
_Chronicles of France_, and particularly in those of _Guyenne_.
The same was done by a certain Madame de la Borne, in the reign of
Francis I.[45] This lady did accuse and inform against her husband for
sundry follies committed and crimes, it may be monstrous crimes, he
had done against her and other women. She had him thrown into prison,
pleaded against him and finally got his head cut off. I have heard my
grandmother tell the tale, who used to say she was of good family and a
very handsome woman. Well! she at any rate did get well beforehand!
Queen Jeanne of Naples,[45] the First of that name, did the like toward
the Infanta of Majorca, her third husband, whose head she did cause to
be cut off for the reason I have named in the Discourse dealing with
him. But it may well be she did also fear him, and was fain to be rid
of him the first. Herein was she much in the right, and all women in
like case, to act thus when they are suspicious of their gallants’
purpose.
I have heard speak of many ladies that have bravely escaped in this
fashion. Nay! I have known one, who having been found by her husband
with her lover, he said never a word to one or the other, but departed
in fierce anger, and left her there in the chamber with her lover, sore
amazed and in much despair and doubt. Still the lady had spirit enough
to declare, “He has done naught nor said naught to me this time; but
I am sore afraid he doth bear rancour and secret spite. Now if I were
only sure he was minded to do me to death, I would take thought how to
make _him_ feel death the first.” Fortune was so kind to her after some
while that the husband did die of himself. And hereof was she right
glad, for never after his discovery had he made her good cheer, no
matter what attention and consideration she showed him.
Yet another question is there in dispute as concerning these same
madmen, these furious husbands and perilous cuckolds, to wit on which
of the two they set and work their vengeance, whether on their wives,
or their wives’ lovers.
Some there be which have declared, “on the woman only,” basing their
doctrine on the Italian proverb _morta la bastia, morta la rabbia o
vereno_—“when the beast is dead, the madness, or venom, is dead.” For
they think, so it would seem, to be quite cured of their hurt when they
have once killed her who caused the pain, herein doing neither more
nor less than they who have been bit or stung by a scorpion. The most
sovran remedy these have is to take the creature, kill and crush it
flat, and put it on the bite or wound it hath made. The same are ready
to say, and do commonly say, ’tis the women who are the more deserving
of punishment. I here refer to great ladies and of high rank, and not
to humble, common and of low degree. For suchlike it is, by their
lovely charms, their confidences, their orders given and soft words
spoken, who do provoke the first skirmishes and bring on the battle,
whereas the men do but follow their lead. But such as do call for war
and begin it, are more deserving of blame than such as only fight in
self-defence. For oftentimes men adventure themselves in the like
dangerous places and on such high emprize, only when challenged by the
ladies, who do signify in divers fashions their predilection. Just as
we see in a great, good, well-guarded frontier town, it is exceeding
difficult to attack the same unawares or surprise it, unless there be
some secret undertaking among some of the inhabitants, and some that
do encourage the assailants to the attempt and entice them on and give
them a hand of succour.
Now, forasmuch as women are something more fragile than men, they must
be forgiven, and it should be remembered how that, when once they
have begun to love and set love in their hearts, they will achieve it
at what cost soever, not content,—not all of them that is,—to brood
over it within, and little by little waste away, and grow dried up
and sickly, and spoil their beauty therefor,—which is the reason they
do long to be cured of it and get pleasure therefrom, and not die _in
ferret’s fashion_, as the saying is.[46]
Of a surety I have known not a few fair ladies of this humour, who have
been foremost to make love to the other sex, even sooner than the men,
and for divers accounts,—some for that they see them handsome, brave,
valiant and lovable; others to cozen them out of a sum of hard cash;
others to get of them pearls and precious stones, and dresses of cloth
of gold and of silver. And I have seen them take as great pains to get
these things as a merchant to sell his commodities, and indeed they say
the woman who takes presents, sells herself. Some again, to win Court
favour; others to win the like with men of the law. Thus several fair
dames I have known, who though having no right on their side, yet did
get it over to them by means of their fleshly charms and bodily beauty.
Yet others again, only to live delicately by the giving of their body.
Many women have I seen so enamoured of their lovers, that they would,
so to speak, chase them and run amain after them, causing the world to
cast scorn at them therefor.
I once knew a very fair lady so enamoured of a Lord of the great world,
that whereas commonly lovers do wear the colours of their ladies, this
one on the contrary would be wearing those of her gallant. I could
quite well name the colours, but that would be telling over much.
I knew yet another, whose husband, having affronted her lover at a
tourney which was held at Court, the while he was in the dancing-hall
and was celebrating his triumph, she did out of despite dress herself
in man’s clothes and went to meet her lover and offer him her favours
in masquerade,—for so enamoured of him was she, as that she was like to
die thereof.
I knew an honourable gentleman, and one of the least spoken against
at Court, who did one day manifest desire to be lover to a very fair
and honourable lady, if ever there was one; but whereas she made many
advances on her side, he on his stood on guard for many reasons and
accounts. But the said lady, having set her love on him, and having
cast the die this way at whatsoever hazard, as she did herself declare,
did never cease to entice him to her by the fairest words of love that
ever she could speak, saying amongst other things: “Nay! but suffer
at any rate that I love you, if you will not love me; and look not to
my deserts, but rather to the love and passion I do bear you,”—though
in actual truth she did outbalance the gentleman on the score of
perfections. In this case what could the gentleman have done but love
her, as she was very fain to love him, and serve her; then ask the
salary and reward of his service. This he had in due course, as is but
reasonable that whoever doth a favour be paid therefor.
I could allege an infinite number of such ladies, which do seek toward
lovers rather than are sought. And I will tell you why they have more
blame than their lovers. Once they have assailed their man, they do
never leave off till they gain their end and entice him by their
alluring looks, their charms, the pretty made-up graces they do study
to display in an hundred thousand fashions, by the subtle bepainting
of their face, if it be not beautiful, their fine head-dresses, the
rich and rare fashions of wearing their hair, so aptly suited to their
beauty, their magnificent, stately costumes, and above all by their
dainty and half-wanton words, as well as by their pretty, frolic
gestures and familiarities, and lastly by gifts and presents. So this
is how men are taken: and being once taken, needs must they take
advantage of their captors. Wherefore ’tis maintained their husbands
are fairly bound to wreak their vengeance on them.
Others hold the husband should take his satisfaction of the men, when
that he can, just as one would of such as lay siege to a town. For
they it is are the first to sound the challenge and call on the place
to surrender, the first to make reconnaissances and approaches, the
first to throw up entrenchments of gabions and raise bastions and dig
trenches, the first to plant batteries and advance to the assault,
and the first to open negotiations; and even so is it, they allege,
with lovers. For like doughty, valiant and determined soldiers they
do assault the fortress of ladies’ chastity, till these, after all
fashions of assault and modes of importunity have been duly observed,
are constrained to make signal of capitulation and receive their
pleasant foes within their fortifications. Wherein methinks they are
not so blameworthy as they wauld fain make out; for indeed to be rid
of an importunate beggar is very difficult without leaving somewhat of
one’s own behind. So have I seen many who by their long service and
much perseverance have at length had their will of their mistresses,
who at the first would not, so to say, have given them their _cul
a baiser_, constraining them, or at any rate some of them, to this
degree that out of pure pity, and tear in eye, they did give them
their way. Just as at Paris a man doth very often give an alms to the
beggars about an inn door more by reason of their importunity than from
devotion or the love of God. The same is the case with many women, who
yield rather for being over-importuned than because they are really
in love—as also with great and powerful wooers, men whom they do fear
and dare not refuse because of their high authority, dreading to do
them a displeasure and thereafter to receive scandal and annoyance of
them or a deliberate affront or great hurt and sore disparagement to
their honour. For verily have I seen great mischiefs happen in suchlike
conjunctions.
This is why those evil-minded husbands, which take such delight in
blood and murder and evil entreatment of their wives, should not be
so hasty, but ought first to make a secret inquiry into all matters,
albeit such knowledge may well be grievous to them and very like to
make them scratch their head for its sore itching thereat, and this
even though some, wretches that they are, do give their wives all the
occasion in the world to go astray.
Thus I once knew a great Prince of a foreign country, who had married
a very fair and honourable lady. Yet did he very often leave her to go
with another woman, which was supposed to be a famous courtesan, though
others thought she was a lady of honour whom he had debauched. But not
satisfied with this, when he had her to sleep with him, it was in a
low-roofed chamber underneath that of his wife and underneath her bed.
Then when he was fain to embrace his mistress, he was not content with
the wrong he was doing his lady already, but in derision and mockery
would with a half-pike knock two or three blows on the floor and shout
up to his wife: “A health to you, wife mine!” This scorn and insult was
repeated several days, and did so anger his wife that out of despair
and desire of vengeance she did accost a very honourable gentleman
one day and said to him privily: “Sir! I am fain you should have your
pleasure of me; otherwise do I know of means whereby to undo you.” The
other, right glad of so fine an adventure, did in no wise refuse her.
Wherefore, so soon as her husband had his fair leman in his arms, and
she likewise her fond lover, and he would cry, “A health!” to her, then
would she answer him in the same coin, crying, “And I drink to _you_!”
or else, “I pledge you back, good Sir!”
These toasts and challenges and replies, so made and arranged as to
suit with the acts of each, continued some longish while, till at
length the Prince, a wily and suspicious man, did suspect something. So
setting a watch, he did discover how his wife was gaily cuckolding him
all the while, and making good cheer and drinking toasts just as well
as he was, by way of retaliation and revenge. Then having made sure
it was verily so, he did quick alter and transform his comedy into a
tragedy; and having challenged her for the last time with his toast,
and she having rendered him back his answer and as good as he gave, he
did instantly mount upstairs, and forcing and breaking down the door,
rushes in and reproaches her for her ill-doing. But she doth make
answer on her side in this wise, “I know well I am a dead woman. So
kill me bodily; I am not afraid of death, and do welcome it gladly, now
I am avenged on you, seeing I have made you cuckold. For you did give
me great occasion thereto, without which I had never gone astray. I had
vowed all fidelity to you, and never should I have broken my troth for
all the temptations in the whole world. Nay! you were no wise worthy
of so honest a wife as I. So kill me straightway; but if there is any
pity in your hand, pardon, I beseech you, this poor gentleman, who of
himself is no whit to blame, for I did invite him and urge him to help
me to my vengeance.” The Prince, over cruel altogether, doth ruthlessly
kill the twain. But what else should this unhappy Princess have done
in view of the indignities and insults of her husband, if not what, in
despair of any other succour in all the world, she did? Some there be
will excuse her, some accuse her; many arguments and good reasons may
be alleged thereanent on either side.
In the _Cent Nouvelles_ of the Queen of Navarre is an almost similar
tale, and a very fine one to boot, of the Queen of Naples, who in like
manner did revenge herself on the King her husband. Yet was the end
thereof not so tragical.[47*]
7.
So now let us have done with these demons and mad, furious cuckolds and
speak no more of them, for that they be odious and unpleasing, seeing I
should never have finished if I should tell of them all, and moreover
the subject is neither good nor pleasant. Let us discourse a while of
kindly cuckolds, such as are good fellows, of placable humour, men
easy to deal with and of a holy patience, well humoured and readily
appeased, that shut the eyes and are—good-natured fools.
Now of these some are predestined of their very nature to be so, some
know how it is before they marry, to wit, know that their ladies,
widows or maids, have already gone astray; others again know naught of
it at all, but marry them on trust, on the word of their fathers and
mothers, their family and friends.
I have known not a few which have married women and girls of loose
life, whom they well knew had been passed in review by sundry Kings,
Princes, Lords, gentlemen and other folk. Yet for love of them, or
attracted by their goods, jewels and money that they had won at the
trade of love, have made no scruple to wed them. However I propose here
to speak only of the girls of this sort.
I have heard speak of a mistress of a very great and sovereign Prince,
who being enamoured of a certain gentleman, and in such wise behaving
herself toward him as to have received the first fruits of his love,
was so desirous thereof that she did keep him a whole month in her
closet, feeding him on fortifying foods, savoury soups, dainty and
comforting meats, the better to distil and draw off his substance. Thus
having made her first apprenticeship with him, did she continue her
lessons under him so long as he lived, and under others too. Afterward
she did marry at the age of forty-five years to a Lord,[48] who found
naught to say against her, but rather was right proud of so rare a
marriage as he had with her.
Boccaccio repeats a proverb which was current in his day to the effect
that _a mouth once kissed_ (others have it differently) _is never out
of luck; her fortune is like the moon, and waxeth ever anew_. This
proverb he doth quote in connection with a story he relates of that
fair daughter of the Sultan of Egypt who did pass and repass by the
weapons of nine different lovers, one after the other, at the least
three thousand times in all. At long last was she delivered to the King
of Garba a pure virgin, that is, ’twas so pretended, as pure as she was
at the first promised to him; and he found no objection to make, but
was very well pleased. The tale thereof is a right good one.
I have heard a great man declare that, with many great men, though not
all it may be supposed, no heed is paid in case of women of this sort
to the fact, though three or four lovers have passed them through their
hands, before they make them their wives. This he said anent of a story
of a great Lord who was deeply enamoured of a great lady, and one of
something higher quality than himself, and she loved him back. However
there fell out some hindrance that they did not wed as they did expect
one with the other. Whereupon this great nobleman, the which I have
just spoken of, did straightway ask: “Did he mount the little jade,
anyway?” And when he was answered, “no!”—in the other’s opinion and
by what men told him, “So much the worse then,” he added, “for at any
rate they had had so much satisfaction one of the other, and no harm
would have been done!” For among the great no heed is paid to these
rules and scruples of maidenhood, seeing that for these grand alliances
everything must be excused. Only too delighted are they, the good
husbands and gentle suckling cuckolds.
At the time when King Charles did make the circuit of his Kingdom,
there was left behind in a certain good town, which I could name very
well had I so wished, a female child whereof an unmarried girl of a
very good house had been delivered.[49*] So the babe was given to a
poor woman to nurse and rear, and there was advanced to her a sum of
two hundred crowns for her pains. The said poor woman did nurse the
infant and manage it so well that in fifteen years’ time the girl grew
up very fair, and gave herself to a life of pleasure. For never another
thought had she of her mother, who in four months after wedded a very
great nobleman. Ah! how many such have I known of either sex, where the
like things have been, and no man suspecting aught!
I once heard tell, when I was in Spain, of a great Lord of Andalusia
who had married a sister of his to another very great Lord, and who
three days after the marriage was consummated, came and said to him
thus: _Señor hermano, agora que soys cazado con my herman, y l’haveys
bien godida solo, yo le hago aher que siendo hija, tal y tal gozaron
d’ella. De lo passado no tenga cuydado, que poca cosa es. Dell futuro
quartate, que mas y mucho a vos toca._ (My Lord and brother, now that
you are married to my sister and alone enjoy her favours, it behooves
you to know that when she was yet unwed, such and such an one did have
her. Take no heed of the past, for truly ’tis but a small thing; but
beware of the future, seeing now it doth touch you much more close),—as
much as to say that what is done is done, and there is no need to talk
about it, but it were well to be careful of the future, for this is
more nearly concerned with a man’s honour than is the past.
Some there be are of this humour, thinking it not so ill to be cuckold
in the bud, but very ill in the flower,—and there is some reason in
this.
I have likewise heard speak of a great Lord of a foreign land,[50*]
which had a daughter who was one of the fairest women in the world;
and she being sought in marriage by another great Lord who was well
worthy of her was bestowed on him by her father. But before ever he
could let her go forth the house, he was fain to try her himself,
declaring he would not easily let go so fine a mount and one which he
had so carefully trained, without himself having first ridden thereon,
and found out how she could go for the future. I know not whether it
be true, but I have heard say it is, and that not only he did make the
essay, but another comely and gallant gentleman to boot. And yet did
not the husband thereafter find anything bitter, but all as sweet as
sugar. He had been very hard to please if he had otherwise, for she was
one of the fairest dames in all the world.