say: Never did she feel so great a pleasure in these doings, as when
she was half forced and all but violated as it were, and then was there
much pleasure therein. The more a woman showeth herself rebellious and
recalcitrant, so much the more doth the man wax ardent and push home
the attack; and so having once forced the breach, he doth use his
victory more fiercely and savagely, and thereby giveth more appetite
to the woman. The latter is for very delight like one half dead and
swooned, or so it seemeth; but really ’tis by reason of the extreme
pleasure she findeth therein. Indeed the same lady did actually say
further, that oftentimes she would make these ados and show resistance
to her husband, and play the prudish, capricious and scornful wife,
and so put him the more on his mettle. Whereby when he did come to it,
both he and she did find an hundredfold more pleasure; for many writers
have noted, a woman pleaseth better who makes some little difficulties
and resistances than when she lets herself straightway be taken. So in
War is a victory won by force more signalised and hailed with greater
delight and enthusiasm than when had for nothing, and the triumph
thereof is sweeter. Yet must not the lady in all this _overdo_ the part
of the peevish and evil-tempered jade, else may she likely be mistaken
rather for a silly whore wishful to be playing of the prude. But at
such interference would she be sore offended, to go by what I am told
by such dames as are most versed and apt in these matters, to the whom
I do appeal. For far be it from me to give them instruction in things
they do understand much better than I!
Again, I have known many greatly blame some of these callous and
murderous husbands on one count in especial, namely that, if their
wives be whores, themselves are the cause of it. For, as Saint
Augustine saith, it is great foolishness in an husband to demand
chastity of his wife, himself being all the while plunged in the slough
of lecherous living; for such mode of life as he doth claim from his
wife, the same he should follow himself. Moreover we do read in Holy
Scripture how that it is not expedient that the husband and wife love
each other so excessively, meaning by this with a wanton and lecherous
love. For in that case do they set all their heart and mind on lustful
pleasures, and think so much of these and give themselves up so
entirely to the same, as that they do neglect the love which they owe
to God. Thus have I myself seen many women who so loved their husbands,
and their husbands them, and burned for them with such ardour, as that
both of them did forget God’s service utterly, inasmuch as the time
they should have given thereto, they did devote to their lecheries and
employ the whole of it therein.
Furthermore, and this is a yet worse thing, these same husbands do
teach their wives a thousand lecheries. The end is that for one fire
brand of lust they have in their body to begin with, they do engender
an hundred, and so make them exceeding lascivious, so that being so
trained and instructed, they cannot later refrain themselves from
leaving their husbands to go after other swains. Whereat are their
husbands in despair, and do punish their poor wives sorely. Herein
they do commit great injustice, for it is only natural the wives,
whenas they feel their heart stirred with satisfaction at being so
well trained, should then wish to show others all they know; but the
husbands would fain have them hide their science. In all this is
neither sense nor reason, no more than if a good horseman should have a
well-trained horse, which could go all paces, and yet should suffer no
man to see the same tried or to mount on its back, but should require
folk to believe it on his mere word, and take the beast without other
warranty.
I have heard tell of an honourable gentleman of the great world, who
having fallen deep in love with a certain fair lady, was warned by a
friend of his how that he was but wasting his time, seeing she did
love her husband far too well. So one day he did contrive to make an
hole which looked right into their room. Then when they were together,
he failed not to spy at them through this hole, whereby he did behold
the greatest lubricities and lecheries, and this as much, nay! even
more, on the part of the wife than of the husband. Accordingly the next
day he hied him to his comrade, and detailing all the fine sight he
had had, did thus say to him: “The woman is mine, I tell you, so soon
as ever the husband hath started on such and such a journey; for she
will never be able for long to restrain herself under the ardour which
nature and art as well have given her, but must needs assuage the same.
And in this wise by dint of my perseverance shall I have her.”
I know yet another honourable gentleman, the which being exceedingly
enamoured of a fair and honourable lady, aware she had a copy of
Aretino[28*] with pictures in her closet, as her husband well knew and
had seen and did allow, straightway augured therefrom that he would
overcome her. And so without losing hope, did he make love to her so
well, and so long and patiently, that at the last he did win the day.
And hereon did he find that she had indeed learned good lessons and
excellent science, whether from her husband or from others, albeit
neither the one nor the other had been her first masters, but Dame
Nature rather, who was a better mistress therein than all the arts.
Not but what the book and good practice had helped much in the matter,
as she did later confess to him.
We read in ancient Writers of a great courtesan and procuress of the
days of old Rome, by name Elephantiné,[29] who did make and invent
postures or _modes_ of the same sort as those of Aretino, but even
worse, the which the great ladies and princesses of yore, following the
ways of harlotry, did study as being a very excellent book.
Also that good dame and famous whore of Cyrené in Africa, who did bear
the title of _Dodecamechanos_ (she of the twelve devices), because she
had discovered twelve several modes whereby to make the pleasure more
wanton and voluptuous.
Heliogabalus[29] was used to hire and keep in his pay, at the expense
of much money and costly gifts, such men and women as did invent and
bring forward new devices of this kind, the better to arouse his
lecherousness. Yea! and I have heard of other such that are like him
among the great folk of our own day!
But a few years since did Pope Sixtus V. cause to be hanged at Rome a
Secretary which had been in the service of the Cardinal d’Este and was
named Capella, for many and divers offences,—but amongst other that he
had composed a book of these same fine postures, the which were figured
by a great ecclesiastic whom I will not name for sake of his cloth, and
by a great lady, one of the fair dames of Rome, the whole shown to the
life and painted in proper form and colour.[29]
5.
I once knew a Prince and a great man who did even better, for he
had of a goldsmith a very fair cup made of silver gilt, by way of a
masterpiece and very especial curiosity, the most high-wrought, well
engraven and cunningly chiseled piece of work could anywhere be seen.
And thereon were cut most featly and subtly with the graver sundry of
the _postures_ from Aretino, of men and women with one another; this on
the lower part of the cup, and above and higher up sundry also of the
divers modes of beasts.
And ’twas here I first learned (for many is the time I have seen
the said cup and drunk therein, not without laughing) the way of
cohabitation of the lion and lioness, the which is quite opposite to
that of all other animals.[30*] This I had never known before, and as
to its nature I refer me to those who are ware of the facts without my
telling them. The said cup was the glory of the Prince’s sideboard; for
verily, as I have said, it was right fairly and richly wrought, and
very pleasant to look at inside and out.
When this same Prince did give a feast to the ladies, married and
single, of his Court,—and not seldom was it his habit so to invite
them,—his butlers never failed, such was his strait command, to serve
the company to drink in this cup. Then were such as had never afore
seen it moved in divers ways, either while drinking or afterward. Some
would be sore astonished, and know not what to say thereat; some would
be all ashamed and the scarlet leaping to their face; some again would
be whispering low to one another: “Nay! what is all this carven inside?
I fear me they be naughty pictures. I will never drink from the cup
again. I must indeed be sore athirst before ever I ask for drink
therefrom again?” Yet were they bound to drink from this cup, or burst
with thirst; and to this end, would some shut their eyes in drinking,
but the rest, who were less shamefaced, not. Such as had heard tell of
the hang of it, as well matrons as maids, would be laughing the while
under the rose; while such as had not, would be downright bursting with
desire to do the like.
When asked what they had to laugh at and what they had seen, some
would reply they had seen naught but some pictures, and for anything
there was there they would make no ado about drinking another time.
Others would say, “As for me, I think no ill thereof; what the eye
sees or a picture shows forth doth never soil the soul.” Some again
would declare, “Bah! good wine is as good in this cup as in another;”
and say it was as good to drink out of as any other, and did quench
the thirst just the same. Then some of the ladies would be questioned,
why they did not shut their eyes in drinking, to which they would make
answer they were fain to see what they were drinking, for fear instead
of wine it might be some drug or poison. Others would be asked which
they did take the more pleasure in, seeing or drinking; whereto they
would reply, “In both, of course.” Some would be crying, “Oh! the
quaint grotesques!” others, “Ah, ha! what be these merry mummeries we
have here?” Some, “Oh! the pretty pictures!” and others, “Here be fine
figures to look at!” Some, “Well, well! Master Goldsmith must needs
have had good leisure to while away his time in making these gewgaws!”
Others, “And you, Sire! to think you should have taken this wondrous
cup of him!” “Now feel ye not a something that doth touch you, ladies,
at the sight?” They would enquire presently, to which the answer would
come, “Nay! never a one of all these droll images hath had power enough
to stir me!” Others again would be asked, whether they had not found
the wine hot, and whether it had not warmed them finely in this wintry
weather; and they would answer, “Nay! we noted no heat; for indeed
our draught was cold, and did much refresh us.” Some they would ask,
which of all these figures they would best love to have; and they
would answer they could in no wise remove them from where they were to
transport them thither.
In short, an hundred thousand gibes and quips and cranks would pass
thereon between the gentlefolk and ladies at table, as I have myself
seen, so that it did make right merry jesting, and a very pleasant
thing to see and hear. But above all, to my thinking, best and most
heartsome was it to watch those innocent maids, or mayhap them that
figured only to be so, and other ladies newly come to Court, striving
to maintain a cold mien, with an artificial laugh on their face and
lips, or else holding themselves in and playing the hypocrite, as was
the way with many ladies. And mind this, though they had been a-dying
of thirst, yet durst not the butlers have given them to drink in any
other cup or glass. Yea! and likewise were there some ladies that
sware, to put a good face on the matter, they would never, never come
to these feasts again; but for all that did they in no wise fail to
come again often enough, for truly the Prince was a right magnificent
and dainty host. Other ladies would say, on being invited thither:
“Well! I will go, but under protest we shall not be given to drink in
the cup;” yet when once they were there, would they drink therein as
well as ever. At the last would they aye think better of it, and make
no more scruple whatever about drinking. Nay! some did even better,
and turned the said images to good use in fitting time and place;
and yet more than this, some did act dissolutely of set purpose to
make trial of the same, for that every person of spirit would fain
essay everything. So here we have the fatal effects of this cup so
well dight. And hereanent must each fancy for himself all the other
discourse, and thoughts and looks and words, that these ladies did
indulge in and give vent to, one with another, whether in privity or in
open company.
I ween this cup was of a very different sort from the one whereof M.
Ronsard[31] doth speak in one of his earliest Odes, dedicated to the
late King Henri, which doth thus begin:
Comme un qui prend une couppe,
Seul honneur de son trésor.
Et de rang verse à la trouppe
Du vin qui rit dedans l’or.
(As one who takes a cup, sole honour of all his treasure, and duly
pours therein to the company good wine that laughs within the gold.)
However in this cup I tell of the wine laughed not at any, but rather
the folk at the wine. For verily some dames did drink laughing,
and others trembling with delight; and yet others would be nigh
_compissoyent_,—I mean not of course just ordinary piddling, but
something more. In a word the said cup did bring dire effects with it,
so touching true were these images, figures and representations.
In likewise do I remember me how once, in a gallery of the Comte de
Chasteau-Villain, known as the Seigneur Adjacet,[32*] a company of
ladies with their lovers having come to visit the said fair mansion,
they did fall to contemplating sundry rare and beautiful pictures in
the Gallery thereof. Among these they beheld a very beautiful picture,
wherein were portrayed a number of fair ladies naked and at the bath,
which did touch, and feel, and handle, and stroke, one the other, and
intertwine and fondle with each other, and so enticingly and prettily
and featly did show all their hidden beauties that the coldest recluse
or hermit had been warmed and stirred thereat. Wherefore did a certain
great lady, as I have heard it told, and indeed I do know her well,
losing all restraint of herself before this picture, say to her lover,
turning toward him maddened as it were at the madness of love she
beheld painted; “Too long have we tarried here. Let us now straightway
take coach and so to my lodging; for that no more can I hold in the
ardour that is in me. Needs must away and quench it; too sore do I
burn.” And so she did haste away to enjoy her faithful lover.
Suchlike pictures and portrayals do bring more hurt to a weak soul
than men think for. Another of the same sort there, was a Venus naked,
lying on a couch and eyed by her son Cupid; another, Mars a-bed with
Venus, another, a Leda with her swan. Many other there be, both there
and elsewhere, that are somedel more modestly painted and better veiled
than the figures of Aretino; but all do come pretty much to one and
the same, and are of the like nature with our cup whereof I have been
speaking. This last had, as it were, a sort of likeness in unlikeness
to the cup which Renault de Montauban found in the Castle Ariosto doth
tell of, the which did openly discover unhappy husbands that were
cuckolds, whereas this one was more likely to make them so. But while
the one did cause somewhat too great scandal to cuckolds and their
faithless wives, the other had no such effect. Nowadays is no need of
these books or these pictures, for that husbands teach their wives
themselves enough and to spare without them. And now for the results of
suchlike husbands’ schooling!
I knew an excellent Venetian printer at Paris named Messer Bernardo,
a kinsman of the great Aldus Manutius of Venice[33], which did keep
his shop in the Rue Saint-Jacques. The same did once tell me, and
swear to it, that in less than a year he had sold more than fifty
of the two volumes of Aretino[33] to very many folks, married and
unmarried, as well as to women of whom he did name three very great
ladies of society; but I will not repeat the names. To these he did
deliver the book into their own hands, and right well bound, under oath
given he would breathe never a word of it—though he did round it to
me natheless. And he did tell me further how that another lady having
asked him some time after, if he had not another like the one she had
seen in the hands of one of the three, he had answered her: _Signora,
si, e peggio_ (“Yes, Madam,—and worse”); and she instantly, money on
table, had bought them all at their weight in gold. Verily a frantic
inquisitiveness for to send her husband a voyage to the haven of
Cornette (the Horns), near by Civita-Vecchia.
All such devices and postures are abominable in God’s sight, as indeed
St. Jerome saith: “Whosoever doth show himself more unrestrainedly
enamoured of his wife than a husband should, is an adulteror and
committeth sin.” And forasmuch as sundry Doctors of the Church have
spoken thereof, I will sum up the matter shortly in Latin words,
seeing themselves have not thought good to say it in plain language:
_Excessus_, say they, _conjugum fit, quando uxor cognoscitur ante retro
stando, sedendo, in latere, et mulier super virum_ (Excess between
married people is committed when the wife is known before by the
husband standing behind, or sitting, or sideways, or the woman on top
of the man). This last posture is referred to in a little couplet I
once read, and which goes as follows:
In prato viridi monialem ludere vidi
Cum monacho leviter, ille sub, illa super.
Other learned Doctors hold that any mode whatsoever is good, provided
only that _semen ejaculetur in matricem mulieris, et quomodocunque uxor
cognoscatur, si vir ejaculetur semen in matricem, non est peccatum
mortale_.
These arguments are to be found in the _Summa Benedicti_. This
Benedict[34] is a Doctor of the Cordeliers, who has writ most
excellently of all the sins, and shown how that he hath both seen much
and read widely. Anyone who will read this passage, will find therein a
number of excesses which husbands do commit toward their wives. Thus he
saith that _quando mulier est ita pinguis ut non possit aliter coire,
non est mortale peccatum, modo vir ejaculetur semen in vas naturale_.
Whereas others again say it were better husbands should abstain from
their wives altogether when they are with child, as do the animals,
than for them to befoul marriage with such abominations.
I knew once a famous courtesan of Rome, called “The Greek,” whom a
great Lord of France had kept in that city. After some space, she had
a strong desire to visit France, using to this end the Signor Bonvisi,
a Banker of Lyons,[35*] a native of Lucca and a very rich man, who
was her lover. Wherein having succeeded, she did make many enquiries
concerning the said gentleman and his wife, and amongst other matters,
whether mayhap she did not cuckold him, “seeing that,” she would say,
“I have so well trained her husband, and have taught him such excellent
lessons, that he having once shown them to his wife and practised the
same with her, it is not possible but that she have desired to show the
same to others also. For insooth our trade is such an one, when it is
well learned, that a woman doth find an hundred times more pleasure in
showing and practising it with several than with one only.” Furthermore
did she say that the said lady ought of rights to make her a handsome
present and one worthy of her pains and good teaching, forasmuch as
when her husband did first come to her school, he knew naught at all,
but was in these matters the most silly, inexperienced prentice hand
ever she had seen. But now, so well had she trained him and fashioned
him that his wife must needs find him an hundred times better. For in
fact the lady, desiring to see her, went to visit her in disguise;
this the courtesan suspected, and held all the discourse to her I have
detailed,—and worse still and more dissolute, for she was an exceeding
dissolute woman. And this is how husbands do forge the knives to cut
their own throats withal; or rather is it a question not of throats
at all, but of horns! Acting after this sort do they pollute holy
matrimony, for the which God doth presently punish them; then must they
have their revenge on their wives, wherein are they an hundred times
more deserving of punishment than before. So am I not a whit surprised
that the same venerable Doctor did declare marriage to be in very truth
but a kind of adultery, as it were; thereby intending, when men did
abuse it after the fashion I have been discoursing of.
Thus hath marriage been forbidden our priests; for that it is no
wise meet that, just come from their wives’ bed and after polluting
themselves exceedingly with them, they should then approach an holy
altar. For, by my faith, so far as I have heard tell, some folk do
wanton more with their wives than do the very reprobates with the
harlots in brothels; for these last, fearing to catch some ill, do not
go to extremes or warm to the work with them as do husbands with their
wives. For these be clean and can give no hurt,—that is to say the most
part of them, though truly not quite all; for myself have known some to
give it to their husbands, as also their husbands to them.
Husbands, so abusing their wives, are much deserving of punishment, as
I have heard great and learned Doctors say; for that they do not behave
themselves modestly with their wives in their bed, as of right they
should, but wanton with them as with concubines, whereas marriage was
instituted for necessity of procreation, and in no wise for dissolute
and lecherous pleasure. And this did the Emperor Sejanus Commodus,
otherwise called Anchus Verus[36], well declare unto us, when he said
to his wife Calvilla, who did make complaint to him, for that he was
used to bestow on harlots and courtesans and other the like what did of
rights belong to her in her bed, and rob her of her little enjoyments
and gratifications. “Bear with me, wife,” he said to her, “that with
other women I satiate my foul passions, seeing that the name of wife
and consort is one deserving of dignity and honour, and not one for
mere pleasure and lecherousness.” I have never yet read or learned what
reply his good wife the Empress made him thereto; but little doubt can
be she was ill content with his golden saying, and did answer him from
out her heart, and in the words of the most part, nay! of all, married
women: “A fig for your dignity and honour; pleasure for me! We thrive
better on this last than on all the other.”
Nor yet must we suppose for an instant that the more part of married
men of to-day or of any other day, which have fair wives, do speak
after this wise. For indeed they do not marry and enter into wedlock,
nor take their wives, but only in order to pass their time pleasureably
and indulge their passion in all fashions and teach the same merry
precepts, as well for the wanton movements of their body as for the
dissolute and lascivious words of their mouth, to the end their
love may be the better awaked and stirred up thereby. Then, after
having thus well instructed and debauched their minds, if they do go
astray elsewhere, lo! they are for sorely punishing them, beating and
murdering and putting of them to death.
Truly scant reasonableness is there in this, just as if a man should
have debauched a poor girl, taking her straight from her mother’s
arms, and have robbed her of her honour and maidenhood, and should
then, after having his will of her, beat her and constrain her to live
quite otherwise, in entire chastity,—verily an excellent and opportune
thing to ask! Who is there would not condemn such an one, as a man
unreasonable and deserving to be made suffer? The same might justly be
said of many husbands, the which, when all is said and done, do more
debauch their wives and teach them more precepts to lead them into
lechery than ever their gallants use, for they do enjoy more time and
leisure therefor than lovers can have. But presently, when they cease
their instructions, the wives most naturally do seek a change of hand
and master, being herein like a good rider, who findeth more pleasure
an hundredfold in mounting an horse than one that is all ignorant of
the art. “And alack!” so used the courtesan we but now spake of to say,
“there is no trade in all the world that is more cunning, nor that doth
more call for constant practice, than that of Venus.” Wherefore these
husbands should be warned not to give suchlike instructions to their
wives, for that they be far and away too dangerous and harmful to the
same. Or, if they needs must, and afterward find their wives playing
them a knavish trick, let them not punish them, forasmuch as it is
themselves have opened the door thereto.