regard to Leonore, duchesse d’Acquitaine, who being suspected of
adultery, mayhap falsely, during his voyaging in Syria, was repudiated
by him on his sole authority, without appealing to the law of other
men, framed as it is and practised more by might than by right or
reason. Whereby he did win greater reputation than the other Kings
named above, and the name of good, while the others were called wicked,
cruel and tyrannical, forasmuch as he had in his soul some traces of
remorse and truth. And this forsooth is to live a Christian life! Why!
the heathen Romans themselves did for the most part herein behave more
Christianly; and above all sundry of their Emperors, of whom the more
part were subject to be cuckolds, and their wives exceeding lustful and
whorish. Yet cruel as they were, we read of many who did rid themselves
of their wives more by divorces than by murders such as we that are
Christians do commit.
Julius Caesar did no further hurt to his wife Pompeia, but only
divorced her, who had done adultery with Publius Clodius, a young
and handsome Roman nobleman. For being madly in love with her, and
she with him, he did spy out the opportunity when one day she was
performing a sacrifice in her house, to which only women were admitted.
So he did dress himself as a girl, for as yet had he no beard on chin,
and joining in the singing and playing of instruments and so passing
muster, had leisure to do that he would with his mistress. However,
being presently recognized, he was driven forth and brought to trial,
but by dint of bribery and influence was acquitted, and no more came of
the thing.
Cicero expended his Latin in vain in a fine speech he did deliver
against him.[16*] True it is that Caesar, wishful of convincing the
public who would have him deem his wife innocent, did reply that he
desired his bed not alone to be unstained with guilt, but free from
all suspicion. This was well enough by way of so satisfying the world;
but in his soul he knew right well what the thing meant, his wife
being thus found with her lover. Little doubt she had given him the
assignation and opportunity; for herein, when the woman doth wish and
desire it, no need for the lover to trouble his head to devise means
and occasions; for verily will she find more in an hour than all the
rest of us men together would be able to contrive in an hundred years.
As saith a certain lady of rank of mine acquaintance, who doth declare
to her lover: “Only do you find means to make me _wish_ to come, and
never fear! I will find ways enough.”
Caesar moreover knew right well the measure of these matters, for
himself was a very great debauchee, and was known by the title of the
_cock for all hens_. Many a husband did he make cuckold in his city, as
witness the nickname given him by his soldiers at his Triumph in the
verse they did sing thereat: _Romani, servate uxores; moechum adducimus
calvum_.
(Romans, look well to your wives, for we bring you _the bald-headed
fornicator_, who will debauch ’em every one.)
See then how that Caesar by this wise and cunning answer he made
about his wife, did shake himself free of bearing himself the name of
cuckold, the which he made so many others to endure. But in his heart,
he knew for all that how that he was galled to the quick.
3.
Octavius Caesar[17] likewise did put away his wife Scribonia for the
sake of his own lecherousness, without other cause, though at the same
time without doing her any other hurt, albeit she had good excuse
to make him cuckold, by reason of an infinity of ladies that he had
relations with. Indeed before their husbands’ very faces he would
openly lead them away from table at those banquets he was used to give
them; then presently, after doing his will with them, would send them
back again with hair dishevelled and disordered, and red ears,—a sure
sign of what they had been at! Not that myself did ever elsewhere
hear tell of this last as a distinctive mark whereby to discover such
doings; a red face for a certainty have I heard so spoken of, but red
ears never. So he did gain the repute of being exceeding lecherous, and
even Mark Antony reproached him therewith; but he was used to excuse
himself, saying he did not so much go with these ladies for mere
wantonness, as thereby to discover more easily the secrets of their
husbands, whom he did distrust.
I have known not a few great men and others, which have done after the
same sort and have sought after ladies with this same object, wherein
they have had good hap. Indeed I could name sundry which have adopted
this good device; for good it is, as yielding a twofold pleasure.
In this wise was Catiline’s conspiracy discovered by the means of a
courtesan.
The same Octavius was once seriously minded to put to death his
daughter Julia, wife of Agrippa, for that she had been a notorious
harlot, and had wrought great shame to him,—for verily sometimes
daughters do bring more dishonour on their fathers than wives on their
husbands. Still he did nothing more than banish her the country, and
deprive of the use of wine and the wearing of fine clothing, compelling
her to wear poor folk’s dress, by way of signal punishment, as also of
the society of men. And this is in sooth a sore deprivation for women
of this kidney, to rob them of the two last named gratifications!
Another Emperor, and very cruel tyrant, Caligula,[18] did suspect that
his wife, Livia Hostilia, had by stealth cheated him of sundry of her
favours, and bestowed the same on her first husband, Caius Piso, from
whom he had taken her away by force. This last was still alive, and
was deemed to have received of her some pleasure and gratification of
her fair body, the while the Emperor was away on a journey. Yet did he
not indulge his usual cruelty toward her, but only banished her from
him, two years after he had first taken her from her husband Piso and
married her.
He did the same to Tullia Paulina, whom he had taken from her husband
Caius Memmius. He exiled her and that was all, but in this case with
the express prohibition to have naught to do at all with the gentle art
of love, neither with any other men nor yet with her husband—truly a
cruel and rigorous order so far as the last was concerned!
I have heard speak of a Christian Prince, and a great one, who laid
the same prohibition on a lady whom he affected, and on her husband
likewise, by no means to touch her, so jealous was he of her favours.
Claudius,[19] son of Drusus Germanicus, merely put away his wife
Plautia Urgulanilla, for having shown herself a most notorious harlot,
and what is worse, for that he had heard how she had made an attempt
upon his life. Yet cruel as he was, though surely these two reasons
were enough to lead him to put her to death, he was content with
divorce only.
Then again, for how long a time did he endure the wild doings and
filthy debaucheries of Valeria Messalina, his second wife, who was
not content with doing it with one and another here and there in
dissolute and abandoned sort, but made it her regular practice to
go to the brothels to get gratification of her passions, like the
biggest strumpet in all the city. So far did she go, as Juvenal doth
describe, that so soon as ever her husband was to bed with her, she
would slip lightly away from beside him, when she saw him fast asleep
and disguising herself the best she could, would hie her to some common
brothel, where she took all she could get, and still would retire
weary rather than replete or satisfied. Nay! she did even worse. For
her better contentment, and to win the repute and self-satisfaction
of being a good harlot and accomplished light-o’-love, she did even
ask for payment, and would tax each round and each several act, like a
travelling cess-collector, to the last doit.
I have heard speak of a lady of the great world, and of no mean lineage
neither, who for some while did follow the same life, and went thus
to the common brothels in disguise, to make trial of this way of
existence, and get gratification of her passions,—so much so that one
night the town-guard, while making their rounds, did actually arrest
her unwittingly. And indeed there be other ladies too which play these
pranks, as is well enough known.
Boccaccio[20] in his book of “Great Folks that have been Unhappy,”
doth speak of this Messalina in gentle terms, and representeth her
making excuse for her ill behaviour, forasmuch as she was born by
nature altogether for this course of life, the day of her birth being
signalized by signs in the heavens which do show in all cases an hot
and fiery complexion. Her husband was ware of it, and bore long with
her,—until he learned how that she was secretly married to Caius
Silius, one of the handsome gallants of Rome. So seeing the matter was
as good as a plot upon his life, he had her put to death on this count,
though in no wise for her lechery; for this he was well accustomed to
see and know, and to condone the same.
Anyone who hath seen the statue of the aforesaid Messalina found in
these last days at the town of Bordeaux will readily allow she did
indeed bear the true look that comported with such a life. ’Tis an
antique medal, found among some ruins; and is very fine and well
worthy to be preserved to look at and carefully examine.[21*] She is a
very fine woman, of a very fine, tall figure, with handsome features,
and hair gracefully dressed in the old Roman fashion, and of very great
stature,—all manifesting she was what History doth declare her to have
been. For, by what I gather from sundry philosophers, physicians and
physiognomists, big women be naturally inclined and well disposed to
this thing. In truth such women are of a manly build, and so being,
have share in the hot passions both of men and women, and conjoining
the natures of both in one bodily frame, are thus more passionate and
do possess more vigour than one alone,—even as, they say, a great and
deep-laden ship doth need deep water to bear her up. Moreover, by what
the learned Doctors that be expert in the mysteries of love declare, a
big woman is more apt and more delightsome thereto than a small one.
The which doth mind me of a very great Prince, whom I once knew.
Wishing to commend a certain woman whose favours he had enjoyed, he
said in this wise: “’Tis a most excellent harlot, as big as my lady
mother.” Whereon being checked at the over-reckless vivacity of his
speech, he did explain how that he meant not to say she was as great a
harlot as his mother, but that she was of the like stature and as tall
as was his mother. For sometimes a man doth say things he intendeth in
no wise to say, as sometimes on the other hand he will say, without
intending, the very actual truth.
Thus we see there is better cheer with big, tall women than with little
ones, were it only for the noble grace and majesty, which they do
own. For in this matter are these qualities as much called for and as
attractive as in other exploits and exercises,—neither more nor less
for example than in horsemanship. Wherein the riding of a tall and
noble charger of blood is an hundred fold more agreeable and pleasant
than is that of a little pony, and doth give more enjoyment by far to
the cavalier. Albeit must the same be a good rider, and carry himself
well, and show much more strength and address. In similar wise must a
man carry himself toward fine, tall women; for that such as be of this
stature are wont to have a higher-stepping gait than others, and will
full often make riders slip their stirrup, nay! even lose their saddle
altogether, as I have heard some tell which have essayed to mount them.
In which case do they straight make boast and great mockery, whenas
they have unseated them and thrown them flat. So have I been told of a
certain lady of the good town of Paris, the which, the first time her
lover did stay with her, said to him frankly: “Embrace me with a will,
and clip me tight to you as well as ever you can; and ride boldly, for
I am high-paced,—so beware of a fall. So for your part spare me not; I
am strong enough and expert enough to bear your assaults, be they as
fierce as they may. For indeed, if you spare me, will I not spare you.
A good ball deserveth a good return.” But insooth the lady did win the
match.
Thus must a man take good heed to his behaviour with suchlike bold,
merry, stalwart, fleshly and well-built dames; and though truly the
superabundant heat that is in them doth give great contentment, yet
will they at times be overpressing by reason of their excessive
passionateness. However, as the proverb saith: _There be good hinds of
all sizes_, so likewise are there little, dwarfish women which have
action, grace and manner in these matters coming very nigh to their
taller sisters,—or mayhap they be fain to copy them,—and as keen for
the fray as they, or even more so, (I would appeal to the masters in
these arts), just as a little horse will curvet every whit as nimbly as
a big one. This bringeth to mind the saying of a worthy husband, who
declared his wife was like divers animals and above all like an ape,
for that when a-bed she would do naught but twist and turn and toss
about.
Sundry reminiscences have beguiled me into this digression. ’Tis time
now to come back again to our original discussion.
Another case. That cruel tyrant Nero[22] did content himself with
the mere putting away of his wife Octavia, daughter of Claudius and
Messalina, for her adultery; and his cruelty stopped thereat.
Domitian[22] did even better, who divorced his wife Longina, because
she was so fondly enamoured of a certain comedian and buffoon named
Paris, and did naught else all day long but play the wanton with him,
neglecting the society of her husband altogether. Yet, after no long
time, did he take her back again and repented him of the separation
from her. Remember this: the said mountebank had taught her meantime
sundry tricks of adroitness and cunning address, the which the Emperor
did hope he would have good profit of!
Pertinax[22] did show a like clemency toward his wife Favia Sulpitiana.
Not indeed that he did divorce her, nor yet take her again, but though
well knowing her to be devoted to a singer and player of instruments of
music, and to give all her love to the same, yet made he no complaint,
but let her do her will. Meanwhile himself pursued an intrigue with one
Cornificia, who was his own cousin german. Herein he did but follow the
opinion of Heliogabalus, who was used to say there was naught in the
world more excellent than the frequenting of one’s own relations, male
and female. Many there be that I wot of, which have made such exchanges
and had suchlike dealings, going upon the opinions of these two Princes!
So likewise did the Emperor Severus[23] take no heed of his wife’s
honour or dishonour, though she was a public harlot. Yet did he never
think of correcting her therefor, saying only she was called Julia
by her name, and that all who bare that name had from all time been
fated to be mighty whores and to cuckold their husbands. In like wise
do I know many ladies bearing certain names under this our Christian
dispensation,—I will not say who they be for the respect I owe to our
holy Religion,—the which are constantly used to be strumpets and to
_lift the leg_ more than other women bearing other names. Of such have
been very few which have escaped this evil fate.
Well! of a truth I should never have done, were I to adduce all the
infinity of examples of great ladies and Roman Emperors of yore, in
whose case their husbands, though sore cajoled and albeit very cruel
men, did yet refrain them from exerting their cruelty and undoubted
rights and privileges against their wives, no matter how dissolute and
ill-conducted these were. I ween few prudes were there in those old
days, as indeed is sufficiently declared in the history of their lives,
and as may be plainly discerned by careful examination of ancient
portraits and medallions representing them; for indeed you may behold
in their fair faces this same lubricity manifestly and obviously
displayed by chisel and graver. Yet did their husbands, cruel Princes
as these were, pardon them, and did put none of them to death, or but a
very few. So would it seem true that these Pagans, not knowing God, yet
were so gentle and clement toward their wives and the human race, while
the most part of our Kings, Princes, great Lords and other Christian
men, be so cruel toward the same for a like offence.
4.
Natheless must we herein greatly commend our brave and good Philip
Augustus,[24] King of France, who after having put away his wife
Angerberge, sister of Canute, King of Denmark, which was his second
wife, under pretext she was his cousin in the third degree on the
side of his first wife Ysabel, though others say he did suspect
her of unfaithfulness, yet did the said King, under the weight of
ecclesiastical censures, albeit he had married again elsewhere, take
her back again, and so conveyed her home behind him on horseback,
without the privity of the Diet of Soissons, that had been summoned to
decide this very matter, but was too dilatory to come to any conclusion
thereon.
Nowadays never a one of our great men will do the like; but the least
punishment they do their wives is to shut them up in perpetual prison,
on bread and water, poisoning them or killing them, whether by their
own hand or by legal process. If they have so great a desire to be
rid of them and marry others, as doth often happen, why do they not
divorce them and honourably separate from them, without doing other
hurt, and then ask power of the Pope to marry another wife? For
surely what God hath joined together, man (without God’s authority)
may in no wise separate. Yet have we had sundry examples thereof, and
notably those of our French Kings Charles VIII.[25] and Louis XII.[25]
Whereanent I did once hear a great Theologian discourse, namely with
regard to the late King Philip of Spain, who had married his niece,
the mother of the present King, and this by dispensation. He said
thus: “Either must we outright allow the Pope to be God’s Vicegerent
on earth, and so absolutely, or else not at all. If he is, as we
Catholics are bound to believe, we must entirely confess his power as
absolute and unbounded on earth, and without limit, and that he can tie
and untie as good him seemeth. But if we do not hold him such, well,
I am sorry for them that be in such error, but good Catholics have
naught to do with them.” Wherefore hath our Holy Father authority over
dissolutions of marriage, and can allay many grave inconveniences which
come therefrom to husband and wife, when they do ill agree together.
Certainly women are greatly blameworthy so to treat their husbands and
violate their good faith, the which God hath so strongly charged them
to observe. But yet on the other hand hath he straitly forbid murder,
and it is highly detestable to Him, on whosesoever part it be. Never
yet hardly have I seen bloody folk and murderers, above all of their
wives, but they have paid dear for it, and very few lovers of blood
have ended well, whereas many women that have been sinners have won the
pity of God and obtained mercy, as did the Magdalen.
In very deed these poor women are creatures more nearly resembling
the Divinity than we, because of their beauty. For what is beautiful
is more near akin to God who is all beautiful, than the ugly, which
belongeth to the Devil.
The good Alfonzo, King of Naples,[26*] was used to say how that beauty
was a token of good and gentle manners, as the fair flower is token of
a good and fair fruit. And insooth have I seen in my life many fair
women who were altogether good; who though they did indeed indulge in
love, did commit no evil, nor take heed for aught else but only this
pleasure, and thereto applied all their care without a second thought.
Others again have I seen most ill-conditioned, harmful, dangerous,
cruel and exceeding spiteful, naught hindering them from caring for
love and evil-doing both together.
It may then well be asked,—why, being thus subject to the fickle and
suspicious humour of their husbands, the which do deserve punishment
ten times more in God’s eyes, why they are so sorely punished? Indeed
and indeed the complexion and humour of such folk is as grievous as is
the sorry task of writing of them.
I speak next of yet another such, a Lord of Dalmatia, who having slain
his wife’s paramour, did compel her to bed habitually with his dead
body, stinking carrion as it was. The end whereof was, the unhappy
woman was choked with the evil stench she did endure for several days.
In the _Cent Nouvelles_ of the Queen of Navarre will be found the most
touching and saddest tale that can be read on this matter, the tale of
that fair lady of Germany the which her husband was used to constrain
to drink ever from the skull of her dead lover, whom he had slain.
This piteous sight did the Seigneur Bernage, at that day ambassador in
the said country for the French King Charles VIII., see and make report
thereof.
The first time ever I was in Italy, I was told, when passing through
Venice, what did purport to be a true story of a certain Albanian
knight, the which having surprised his wife in adultery, did kill the
lover. And for spite that his wife had not been content with him, for
indeed he was a gallant knight, and well fitted for Love’s battles, so
much so that he could engage ten or twelve times over in one night, he
did contrive a strange punishment, and so did seek out carefully in
all quarters a dozen stout fellows of the right lecherous sort, who
had the repute of being well and vigorously built and very adroit in
action. These he took and hired, and engaged the same for money. Then
he did lock them in his wife’s chamber, who was a very fair woman,
and gave her up to them, beseeching them one and all to do their duty
thoroughly, with double pay if that they did acquit themselves really
well. Thus did they all go at her, one after another, and did handle
her in such wise that they did kill her,—to the great pleasure of her
husband, who did cast it in her teeth, when she was nigh unto death,
that having loved this pleasure so much, she could now have her fill
thereof. Herein he but copied what Semiramis (or rather _Thomyris_)
said, as she put Cyrus’ head into a vessel full of blood. A terrible
death truly![27*]
The poor lady had not so died, if only she had been of the robust
complexion of a girl that was in Cæsar’s camp in Gaul. Two legions did
pass, ’tis said, over her body in brief space; yet at the end of all
she did dance a fling, feeling no hurt thereof.
I have heard speak of a Frenchwoman, town-bred, a lady of birth and of
handsome looks, who was violated in our civil wars, in a town taken by
assault, by a multitude of men-at-arms. On escaping away from these,
she did consult a worthy Father as to whether she had sinned greatly,
first telling him her story. He said, no!—inasmuch as she had been had
by force, and deflowered without her consent, but entirely misliking
the thing. Whereon she did make answer: “Now God be praised, for that
once in my life I have had my fill, without sinning or doing offence to
God!”
A lady of good quality, having been in like wise violated at the time
of the Massacre of Saint Bartholomew, and her husband being dead,
she did ask of a man of knowledge and right feeling, whether she had
offended God, and whether she would not be punished of His sternness,
and if she had not sorely wronged the manes of her husband, who had but
only quite late been slain. He answered her, that if, when she was at
this work, she had taken pleasure therein, then had she surely sinned;
but if she had felt but disgust at the thing, it was as if it had never
been. A good and wise judgement!