so late as the middle ages was not at all uncommon, although then it had
become confined principally to the aristocracy, and later on few instances
are to be met with, except in the case of Royalty. Henry VIII. married
Anne of Cleves by proxy. So also James II., when Duke of York, in 1673,
was married by proxy to Mary of Modena. The church always looked with
great disfavour on this form of marriage, and for this reason the parties
were generally re-married on the arrival of the bride in her husband's
country, or at the home of the bridegroom.
Amongst the ancient Northern nations a knot appears to have been
considered as the symbol of love, faith, and friendship, pointing out, as
it were, the indissoluble tie of affection and duty; hence it is that
knots or bows of ribbon came to be used as wedding favours, a particular
form of which came to be known as the _True Lovers' Knot_. The peasantry
of France wore the bridal favour on the arm, whereas in England it was
formerly worn in the hat, and consisted of ribbons of various colours; in
later years white ribbon alone was used. Curiously enough Rosemary was not
only carried at funerals, but was also worn at weddings, and appears to
have been considered as an insignia of a wedding guest: on these occasions
the sprigs of Rosemary were frequently gilded, or dipped in scented water.
Bay leaves were also used for a similar purpose, but not so generally as
the Rosemary.
Wedding rings were used both by the Greeks and Romans, but then only at
the ceremony of betrothal, and not that of marriage. The Anglo-Saxon
bridegroom at the betrothal gave a _Wed_, or pledge, and a ring was placed
on the maiden's right hand, where it remained until marriage, and was then
transferred to the left. During the reigns of George I. and George II.,
the wedding ring was often worn on the thumb. The placing of the ring on
the book is a remnant of the ancient custom of blessing the ring by
sprinkling Holy Water in the form of a cross, and this is still done in
the Roman Church. One of the earliest forms of rings was the Gemel, or
double ring, and this was used as a pledge before marriage: they were
generally made in three parts, and broken in the presence of a witness,
who retained the third part. In Germany, Sweden, Norway, and Denmark, it
was a common custom for the engaged couple each to give to the other a
plain gold ring, much resembling a wedding ring. In the last century,
wedding rings were frequently inscribed with poesys. Dr. John Thomas, who
was Bishop of Lincoln in 1753, married four times. The motto or poesy on
the wedding ring at his fourth marriage was:--
"If I survive
I'll make them five."[7]
King Henry VIII. gave Anne of Cleves a ring with the poesy:--
"God send me well to keep."
It was a general custom in the middle age for the bridegroom to place the
ring first on the thumb of the bride, then on her second finger, and then
on her third, at the name of each person of the Trinity, "leaving it" as
the rubric directs, on her fourth finger at the word _Amen_; thus
signifying by action, not less than by word, that he was undertaking the
duties of the married state, "in the name of the Father, of the Son, and
of the Holy Ghost." The reason assigned for the fourth finger being
appointed as the final resting place of the wedding ring, is because on
that finger there is generally believed to be a certain vein which
proceeds to the heart. The left hand most probably was appointed because
the virgins espoused to the church wore the ring of their celestial
nuptials on the right hand.
The nuptial kiss was a solemn ceremony which was duly directed both by the
Sarum and York Uses. At the "Sanctus," in the bridal mass, both the bride
and the bridegroom knelt near the altar; if neither of them had been
married before, a pall, or as it used to be called, the "care-cloth," was
held over them at its four corners by as many clerics. After the "Pater
Noster," and just before the "Pax," the priest turning himself towards the
married couple gave them the nuptial blessing. The care-cloth was then
removed, and the bridegroom arose from his knees and received the kiss of
peace from the priest; he then turned to his bride and kissed her upon
the cheek. In the York Use the care-cloth was held by only two clerics.
Although the solemn ceremonial of the nuptial kiss has long since ceased
to be a regular portion of the marriage service, still, in many rural
districts, it is customary for the bridegroom to kiss the bride while they
are before the altar, and in sight of the congregation assembled. At
Halse, a village in Somersetshire, it is still a recognised custom amongst
the labouring classes for the bridegroom, after he has placed the ring on
the bride's finger, to take her in his arms and kiss her fervently, and it
is a somewhat remarkable feature that instead of this causing any
amusement amongst the spectators, it is treated as a solemnity, and would
certainly appear to be a distinct survival of the nuptial kiss. A similar
custom still prevails at Bishops Lydeard, in Somersetshire.
There is a rule in Hindoo law which forbids a younger sister to be married
before the elder; nor is a younger brother allowed to be married before
the elder. There would seem to be a curious resemblance between these
rules and the rules of the Old Testament days, when Laban refused to let
his younger daughter marry before Leah. We get another instance of a
restraint on marriage, in 1367, when the memorable Parliament of Kilkenny
was held, which passed the Statute of Kilkenny. By this statue it was
declared high treason for any person of English origin to marry into an
Irish family.
Poor maidens who might otherwise lose their chance of matrimony for want
of a dowry were sometimes provided for by funeral doles. "I will," says
Richard Trowler, A.D. 1477, "that X_l._ be disposed of at my burying among
poor people, and that X_l._ be given to the marriage of poor maidens not
having father or mother." Johanne Beauchamp, Lady of Bergavenny, devised
"to the marriage of poer maydens dwellyng withyn my lordship, C_l_, and to
the makying and emending of febull brugges and foul weyes, C_l_." There
certainly seems to be a curious analogy between this custom and the laws
of ancient Greece, by which the State provided a dowry for those maidens
who, through poverty or plainness, would otherwise have remained
unmarried.
With regard to the seasons for celebrating marriage, the Church was
formerly very strict. The parish register for St. Mary's, Beverley,
contains the following entry under date November 25, 1641:--
"When Advent comes do thou refraine,
Till Hillary set ye free again,
Next Septuagessima saith thee nay,
But when Low Sunday comes thou may,
Yet at Rogation thou must tarrie,
Till Trinitie shall bid thee marry."
The above appears to have been a popular verse to inscribe in registers,
for, with slight variations, it is to be met with in several parishes.
_Philomath's Almanac_, for the year 1674, contains similar rules in
prose:--
"TIMES PROHIBITING MARRIAGE THIS YEAR.
Marriage comes in on the 13th of January, and at Septuagessima Sunday
it is out again until Low Sunday, at which time it comes in again, and
goes not out till Rogation Sunday. Then it is forbidden until Trinity
Sunday, from whence it is unforbidden till Advent Sunday, but then it
goes out, and comes not in again till the 13th of January next
following."
With regard to the publication of Banns of Marriage, it appears to have
been the custom in the primitive ages that the Church should be forewarned
of marriages. The earliest existing canonical enactment on the subject in
the English church, is that in the eleventh canon of the Synod of
Westminster, in the year 1200, which enacts that "no marriage shall be
contracted without banns thrice published in the church, unless by the
special authority of the Bishop." Anciently, before the publication of
banns, it was the custom for the curate to affiance the two persons to be
married in the name of the Trinity; and at this period the banns were
sometimes published at Vespers as well as at Mass.
Forbidding the banns of marriage is now a very rare occurrence; formerly,
it was not so, and it was customary to interdict a marriage sometimes for
the sole purpose of making a comparative stranger prove his bona-fides.
The parish register of Frampton, near Boston, Lincolnshire, contains the
following entry on January, 1, 1653:--"The marriage of Edward Morton and
Jane Goodwin was objected to by John Ayne, Thomas Appleby, and William
Eldred: because in the first place, the said Edward Morton was a stranger,
and they did not know where he had lived until a short time before, or
whether he was married or single; therefore they desired the marriage
might be deferred until he brought a certificate of these things. And
secondly because they have been informed and do believe that he is a very
poor man, and therefore they wish him to get some sufficient man to be
bound with him to secure the town from any charge of him or his."
An interesting custom is still kept up at Laceby, a village in North
Lincolnshire, where the bells ring a merry peal at the close of the
service in which the third publication of banns has taken place. A similar
custom prevailed at North Kelsey, in Lincolnshire, the practice there
being to ring the peal of bells on the Monday evening after the last
publication of banns, but in this latter case the custom appears to have
fallen into disuse many years ago. Bells frequently bear inscriptions
relating to the marriage peals; the fifth bell at Coton-in-the-Elms,
Derbyshire, dated 1786, has inscribed on it:--
"The bride and groom we greet
In holy wedlock joined,
Our sounds are emblems sweet
Of hearts in love combined."
In the early part of the century it appears to have been a common practice
in most parts of the country for the clerk, after the publication of the
banns of marriage, to rise and say, "God speed them well;" and in some
places it was usual for the congregation to respond "Amen." At Hope, in
Derbyshire, this was done not only on the publication of banns, but also
at the solemnization of the marriage, immediately after the abjuration--"I
require and charge you both." The practice has fallen into the same
oblivion which has overtaken the old parish clerk--at one period so
self-important an individual in the church, and now, except in remote
villages, so insignificant an official. The custom appears to have
lingered for some time at Croxton Kerrial, near Melton Mowbray, and at
Birkby, a village near Northallerton.
The following extract from the parish registers for Chalgrave,
Bedfordshire, for the year 1655, furnishes an instance of the manner in
which weddings were frequently conducted during the Commonwealth, in
pursuance of Cromwell's Act of Parliament, August 24, 1653, and by which
the presence of a priest was entirely dispensed with:--"Henry Fisher and
Sarah Newson, of Chalgrave, published three severall Lords dayes in one
p{sh} meeting house called the church ended xxiij{rd} of Sept{b} and no
exception made against it, and the said Henry Fisher and Sarah Newson was
married the xxix{th} Sept{b}, as by certificate doth appear by Francis
Austeres Esq, and in psents of Will: Martin and Abraham Newson." In the
parish registers of Launceston, Cornwall, is the following
entry:--"Hereaf{r} follow marriages by laymen, according to the prophanes,
and giddynes of the times without precedent or example in any Christian
Kingdom or Commonwealth, from the birth of Christ unto this very year
1655.
"1655, The 28{th} daye of October were married by John Hicks, Gent. and
Maior of this Town, John Heddon and Mary Harvey. Their banns being
published in the Markett Place att Launceston three severall Markett
dayes, viz., the 11{th}, the 18{th}, and the 25{th} of this instant
October, without contradiction."
The following extract from the register of St. Mary's Church, Bermondsey,
1604, instances a curious custom of re-uniting husband and wife who had
been long separated:--
"The form of a solemn vowe made betwixt a man and his wife, having
been long absent, through which occasion the woman beinge married to
another man, took her again as followeth:--
_The Man's speach._ Elizabeth, my beloved wife, I am right sorie that
I have so long absented myself from thee, whereby thou shouddest be
occasioned to take another man to be thy husband. Therefore I do now
vowe and promise in the sight of God, and this companie, to take thee
again as mine owne, and will not only forgive thee, but also dwell
with thee, and do all other duties unto thee, as I promised at our
marriage.
_The Woman's speache._ Raphe, my beloved husband, I am right sorie
that I have in thy absence taken another man to be my husband: but
here, before God, and this companie, I renounce and forsake him, and
do promise to keep mysellfe only unto thee during life, and to perform
all duties which I first promised unto thee in our marriage.
The first day of August, 1604, Raphe Goodchild of the parish of
Barkinge, in Thames Street, and Elizabeth his wife, were agreed to
live together, and thereupon gave their hands one to another, makinge
either of them a solemn vowe so to do in the presence of us:
WILLIAM STEVE, Parson,
EDWARD COKER, and RICHARD EIVES, Clerk."
In Germany a sect of the Moravians called _Herrnhuters_ have a most
curious method of selecting their life partners: the men and women of a
marriageable age are collected in a house which has a suite of three
rooms, each opening into the other, the young men in one end room and the
young women in the other; then the doors from these two rooms are thrown
open into the middle room, which is perfectly darkened. After this
follows a sort of general scramble, or "catch who can," and whichever girl
the man catches becomes his wife. This method of selecting a wife seems
somewhat risky, but it is possible that even in a darkened room a couple
with a prior attachment might manage to tumble into each other's arms, and
so, while adhering in the letter to the custom of their sect, bring about
the union dictated by their hearts.
The throwing of an old shoe after a newly-married couple on their
departure is general all over the country, but in Kent the custom is
accompanied by a little more detail than is usually observed in other
parts of the country. The principal bridesmaid throws the shoe, the other
bridesmaids run after it, the belief being that the one who gets it will
be the first to be married. She then throws the shoe amongst the
gentlemen, and it is supposed that the one who is hit will also be married
before the others.
The custom of showering rice over the bride and bridegroom is a universal
one, although in some parts wheat is substituted, this was formerly
general in Nottinghamshire and Sussex. The practice appears to find a
parallel in Poland, when, after the nuptial benediction has been given by
the priest, the father receives the newly-married couple at the door of
their house, and strews some barley corns over their heads. These corns
are carefully gathered up and sown. If they grow it is considered an omen
that the married pair will enjoy a life of happiness. Grain of any sort is
symbolical of plenty, and no doubt at different periods and in different
countries that grain has been selected which could be procured the most
easily. An old Spanish ballad of the sixteenth century, _The Cids
Wedding_, refers to the custom, except that ears of wheat appear to have
been used instead of threshed wheat:--
"All down the street the ears of wheat are round
Ximena flying."
Wedding Biddings were usual down to the end of the last century: these
were entertainments given previously to the wedding, and the guests were
each expected to bring a present. An account of these presents was
preserved, and it was expected that the giver should receive a gift of
equal value on their own marriage. In Cumberland, at these entertainments,
a bowl or plate was fixed in some convenient part of the house where each
of the company contributed in money in proportion to his ability or
inclination. In some districts the bidding was publicly done by a herald
with a crook or wand adorned with ribbons, who gave a general invitation
according to a prescribed form.
Gretna Green was the invariable resort of runaway couples, owing to the
flaw in the Old Scottish law which required nothing more than an
acknowledgment before witnesses in order to constitute a valid marriage.
The Marriage Act of 1856 has, however, rendered such unions impossible,
for by its provisions, which are common to both countries, it is necessary
that one of the parties shall have resided for at least twenty-one days in
the parish where the marriage takes place. The old romantic interest once
attached to Gretna Green is now fast becoming a thing of the past.
The following extract from the register of St. Martin's Parish, Leicester,
is interesting as showing how, in the time of Queen Elizabeth, a marriage
was celebrated in a case where a bridegroom was deaf and dumb.
"Decimo quinto Februarii. 18. Eliz.: reginae.
Thomas Filsby and Ursula Russet were married; and because the said
Thomas is naturally deaf and dumb, could not for his part observe the
order of the form of marriage, after the approbation had of Thomas,
the Bishop of Lincoln, John Chippendale, LL.D., and Commissary, and
Mr. Richard Davis, of Leicester, and others of his brethren, with the
rest of the parish, the said Thomas for expressing of his mind instead
of words, of his own accord used these signs: First he embraced her
with his arms, took her by the hand, and put a ring on her finger, and
laid his hand upon his heart and held up his hands towards heaven; and
to show his countenance to dwell with her till his life's end, he did,
by closing his eyes with his hands, and digging the earth with his
feet, and pulling as though he would ring a bell, with other signs
approved."
An interesting feature in the marriage announcements a century ago, was
the detail given respecting the fortune of the bride. Matters which now we
regard as more or less private were then openly advertised to the world.
_Williamson's Liverpool Advertiser_ for 1759, contains the following
notice: "Liverpool, May 25. On Tuesday last was married at Hale, Dr.
Zachariah Leafe, of Prescot, to Miss Martha Clough, of Halewood, an
agreeable young lady of 18 years of age, with a very genteel fortune."
_The Leeds Intelligencer_, for July 3, 1764, announces:--"On Thursday last
was married Mr. John Wormald, of this town, merchant, to Miss Rebecca
Thompson, daughter of the late ---- Thompson, Esqr., of Staincliffe Hall,
near Batley, an agreeable young lady with a fortune of upwards of L4,000."
These are no uncommon instances, and almost any newspaper of the period
would furnish similar examples.
It was a common custom, down to about 1850, for butchers' boys, in their
blue coats, and sometimes also with a large white favour, to attend in the
front of houses where weddings had that day taken place, and play on their
cleavers with knuckle bones; the "Butchers' Serenade" it was called.
Hogarth, in his delineation of the marriage of the industrious apprentice
to his master's daughter, introduces a set of butchers coming forward with
marrow bones and cleavers.
A bridegroom was often called upon to pay toll. It was a Somersetshire
custom for the village children, on the occasion of a wedding, to fasten
the churchyard gates with a wreath of evergreens and flowers; a floral
bond which always required a "Silver Key" to unlose. A writer to _Notes
and Queries_, in January, 1858, states that on the occasion of his
marriage, some years previously, when passing through the village
adjoining that in which the marriage had taken place, his carriage was
stopped by the villagers, holding a band of twisted evergreens and
flowers, who good naturedly refused to let the carriage pass until toll
had been paid.
At Burnley, in Lancashire, an old custom prevailed by which all persons
married at St. Peter's Church, in that town, paid a fine to the boys at
the Grammar School; the money thus obtained being applied, according to
the records, for the maintenance of the school library. This custom
appears to have been kept up down to the year 1870, about which time
Burnley Grammar School was rebuilt, and, on its re-opening, the practice
of paying fines to the boys was discontinued.
It is a common saying in Lancashire that a bride should wear at her
wedding:--
"Something old and something new,
Something borrowed, something blue."
This saying, and the practice of it, is common in other parts of England;
the writer knows a lady who, when married at Bedford, five years ago,
carried out the couplet to the letter; on this same bride being brought by
her husband to his home in Lincolnshire, at the end of the honeymoon, the
custom of lifting the bride over the threshold was observed; the bride and
bridegroom got out of the carriage a few yards from the house, and he
carried her up the steps, and into the hall. This was formerly a common
practice in the North of England, and in Scotland, and is the remains of
an old Roman custom which has survived the onslaught of time and change.
It was an old custom to strew the path from the house of the bride to the
church with sawdust or sand, and so recently as the year 1876 a "sawdust
wedding" took place from a house in Sunderland. The custom would
originate, no doubt, in a desire to secure a clean path for the bride to
walk upon, and this was often ornamented with devices, which would be
easily done with either material.
"Keeping the doorstep warm" was a custom practised most commonly in the
North of England. As soon as the bride and bridegroom had gone away, and
the old shoe had been thrown, a servant, or sometimes the guests, would
pour a kettle of boiling water over the front doorstep, as an auspice that
there would soon be another wedding from the same house--keeping the
threshold warm for another bride they called it.
In these prosaic nineteenth century days, there is not much attention paid
to the selection of the day of the week for the marriage ceremony. Our
ancestors had many proverbs and couplets, all more or less pointing to
certain and the same day, to avoid or select for the event.
Monday for wealth,
Tuesday for health,
Wednesday best day of all,
Thursday for losses,
Friday for crosses,
Saturday no luck at all.
The practice of inserting wedding announcements in newspapers is almost
universal, and the addition of "no cards" appears as often as not. Our
neighbours on the other side of the Atlantic have, however, quite outdone
us by the following addition to a wedding announcement in the _Quebec
Morning Chronicle_, of November 7th, 1868:--"No cards. No Cake. No Wine."
Burial Customs.
BY ENGLAND HOWLETT, F.S.A.
The burial of the dead furnishes many instances of curious customs, some
of which, with modifications, survive to our own day, while a large number
have become entirely obsolete, or meaningless. In the middle ages
especially, it naturally followed that a great deal of superstition should
be attached to death and burial, and superstition often originated a
custom which survived long after any importance was attached to the
origin.
The Egyptians made futile attempts to preserve the body by embalming--this
practice originated no doubt in the opinion which it was said they held,
that so long as a body remained uncorrupted, so long the soul continued in
it. The Greeks usually, but not universally, burnt their dead, and
interred their ashes in urns. The actual origin of cremation is lost in
obscurity, most probably the primary idea was the purification of the body
by fire. It is supposed the early practice of the Romans was to bury, but
their later practice was to burn, and cremation was held by them in
honour, the bodies of suicides and young children not being allowed to be
burnt.
In ancient times burial was always without the walls of the cities and
towns; indeed before the time of Christianity it was not lawful to bury
the dead within the cities, but they used to be carried out into the
fields, and there deposited. About the end of the sixth century, St.
Augustine obtained of King Ethelbert a Temple of Idols (used by the King
before his conversion), and made a burying place of it; and Saint Cuthbert
afterwards obtained (A.D. 752) leave from the Pope to have yards made to
the churches, suitable for the burial of the dead.