_A Room in_ BANKS'S _Cottage_.
_Enter_ FARMER GAMMON, BANKS, _and_ SIM.--SIM _writing, and crying_.
_F. Gam._ Boy, go on with the inventory.
_Sim._ How unlucky! Feyther to lay hold of me when I wanted to
practise my part. [_Aside._
_Banks._ This proceeding is very severe, to lay an execution on my
wretched trifling goods when I thought--
_F. Gam._ Ay, you know you've gone up to the big house with your
complaint--her ladyship's steward, to be sure, has made me give back
your cottage and farm; but your goods I seize for my rent.
_Banks._ Only leave me a very few necessaries--by the goodness of my
neighbours, I may soon redeem what the law has put into your hands.
_F. Gam._ The affair is now in my lawyer's hands, and plaintiff and
defendant chattering about it, is all smoke.
_Sim._ Feyther, don't be so cruel to Mr. Banks.
_F. Gam._ I'll mark what I may want to keep for myself. Stay here, and
see that not a pin's worth be removed without my knowledge. [_To_ SIM.
[_Exit._
_Sim._ I'll be domm'd if I'll be your watch dog, to bite the poor,
that I won't. Mr. Banks, as feyther intends to put up your goods at
auction, if you could but get a friend to buy the choice of them for
you again. Sister Jane has got steward to advance her a quarter's
wages, and when I've gone to sell corn for feyther, besides presents,
I've made a market penny now and then. Here--it's not much! but every
little helps.
[_Takes out a small leather purse, and offers it to_ BANKS.
_Banks._ I thank you, my good natured boy; but keep your money.
_Sim._ Last summer, you saved me from being drowned in black pool, if
you'll not take this, ecod, in there I'll directly fling it, and let
old nick save it from being drowned, an'he can. [_Going._
_Banks._ My kind lad, then I'll not hurt your feeling, by opposing
your liberality. [_Takes it._
_Sim._ He, he, he! you've now given my heart such a pleasure as I
never felt, nor I'm sure feyther afore me.
_Banks._ But, Sim, whatever may be his opinion of worldly prudence,
still remember he's your parent.
_Sim._ I will--"One elbow chair, one claw table." [_Exit, writing, and_
BANKS.
_Enter_ AMELIA.
_Amelia._ The confusion into which Lady Amaranth's family is thrown by
the sudden departure, and apprehended danger of her young cousin, must
have prevented her ladyship from giving that attention to our affairs,
that I'm sure was her inclination. If I can but prevail on my brother
too, to accept her protection--I can't enjoy the delights of her
ladyship's hospitable mansion, and leave him here still subject to the
insults of his churlish neighbour--Heavens! who's this? [_Retires._
_Enter_ ROVER _hastily, his hair and dress much disordered_.
_Rover._ What a race [_Panting._] I've at last got from the blood
hounds! Ah, if old Abrawang had but followed and backed me, we'd have
tickled their catastrophes; but when they got me alone, three upon
me were odds, so, safe's the word--who's house is this I've dash'd
into?--Eh! the friendly cottage of my old gentleman! Are you at home?
[_Calls._] Gadso! I had a hard struggle for it; yes, murder was their
intent, so it was well for me that I was born without brains, I'm
quite weak, faint! [_Leans against the wall._]
_Amelia._ [_Advancing._] Sir, an't you well? [_With concern._]
_Rover._ Madam, I ask pardon,--hem, yes, ma'am, very well, I thank
you--now exceeding well--got into a fray there, in a kind of a hobble
with some worthy gentlemen; only simple, honest farmers. I fancy
mistook me for a sheaf of barley, for they down with me, and then
thresh'd so heartily, gad, their flails flew merrily about my ears,
but I up, and when I could no longer fight like a mastiff, why, I--run
like a greyhound--But, dear ma'am, pray excuse me. Egad, this is very
rude, faith.
_Amelia._ You seem disturbed, [_With emotion._] will you take any
refreshment?
_Rover._ Madam, you're very good.--Only a little of your currant wine,
if you please; if I don't forget, it stands--just--[_Points_--AMELIA
_brings some from a beaufet._] Madam, I've the honour of drinking your
health. [_Drinks._]
_Amelia._ I hope you're not hurt, sir.
_Rover._ "A little better, but very weak still"--I had a sample of
this before, and liked it so much, that, madam--"Won't you take
another?"
_Amelia._ Sir!
_Rover._ Madam, if you'd been fighting, as I have, you'd--well, well,
[_Fills and drinks._] now I'm as well as any man--"In Illyria," got a
few hard knocks though.
_Amelia._ You'd better repose a little, you seem'd much disorder'd
coming in.
_Rover._ [_Places a chair, and both sit._] Why, ma'am, you must know
thus it was--
_Enter_ SHERIFF'S OFFICER.
_Off._ Come, ma'am, Mr. Gammon says this chair is wanted to make up
the half dozen above. [_Lays hold of_ AMELIA'S _chair, she rises
terrified_.]
_Rover._ What, what's all this?
_Off._ Why the furniture's seized on execution, and a man must do his
duty.
_Rover._ Then, scoundrel, know, that a man's first duty is civility
and tenderness to a woman.
_Amelia._ Heavens! where's my brother? This gentleman will bring
himself into trouble.
_Off._ Master, d'ye see, I'm representative for his honour the High
Sheriff.
_Rover._ Every High Sheriff should be a gentleman, and when he's
represented by a rascal, he's dishonour'd.--Dem it, I might as well
live about Covent Garden, and every night get beating the watch; for
here, among groves and meadows, I'm always squabbling with constables.
[_Whips up a stick from a corner of the room, and holds it behind
him._]
_Off._ Come, come, I must--
_Rover._ "As you say, sir, last Wednesday, so it was"--Sir, your most
obedient, humble servant--[_Bows respectfully._] Pray, sir, may I take
the liberty to know, have you ever been astonished? [_With great
ceremony._]
_Off._ What?
_Rover._ Because, sir, I intend to astonish you; my dear fellow, give
me your hand. [_Takes his hand, and beats him_--] Now, sir, you are
astonished?
_Off._ Yes; but see if I don't suit you with an action.
_Rover._ "Right, suit the action to the word, the word to the action;"
"See if the gentlewoman be not affrighted"--"Michael, I'll make thee
an example."
_Off._ Yes, fine example, when goods are seized here by the law, and--
_Rover._ "Thou worm and maggot of the law!" "Hop me over every kennel,
or you shall hop without my custom."
_Off._ I don't value your custom.
_Rover._ You are astonished, now I'll amaze you.
_Off._ No, sir, I won't be amazed--but only see if I don't--
_Rover._ Hop!
[_Exit_ OFFICER _muttering and bullying, yet frightened_.
Stop, ma'am, these sort of gentry are monstrous bad company for a
lady--So I'll just see him to the door, and then I'll see him outside
the door.--Ma'am, I'm your most obedient humble servant. [_Bows
respectfully, and exit hastily_.]
_Amelia._ I feel a strange curiosity to know who this young gentleman
is. I find my heart interested, I can't account for--he must have
known the house by the freedom--but then his gaiety, (without familiar
rudeness) native elegance of manners, and good breeding, seem to make
him at home any where.--My brother, I think, must know--
_Enter_ BANKS _hastily, and agitated_.
_Banks._ Amelia, did you see the young gentleman that was here? Some
ruffian fellows, and a posse of the country people have bound and
dragged him from the door, on the allegation of three men, who mean to
swear he has robbed them; and they have taken him to Lady Amaranth's.
_Amelia._ How! He did enter here in confusion as if pursued; but I'll
stake my life on his innocence. I'll speak to Lady Amaranth, and in
spite of calumny, he shall have justice--he would not let me be
insulted, because he saw me an unprotected woman, without a husband
or a son, and shall he want an advocate? Brother, come. [_Exeunt._