Knowledge Institution for home and abroad. It is now fifteen months,
since, in dependence upon the Lord for the supply of means, we have been
enabled to provide poor children with schooling, circulate the Holy
Scriptures, and aid missionary labours. During this time, though the field
of labour has been continually enlarged, and though we have now and then
been brought low in funds, the Lord has never allowed us to be obliged to
stop the work. We have been enabled during this time to establish three
day-schools, and to connect with the Institution two other charity
day-schools, which, humanly speaking, otherwise would have been closed for
want of means. In addition to this, the expenses connected with a
Sunday-school and an adult school have been likewise defrayed, making seven
schools altogether. The number of the children that have been thus
provided with schooling, in the day-schools only, amounts to 439. The
number of copies of the Holy Scriptures, which have been circulated, is
795 Bibles and 753 New Testaments. We have also sent, in aid of missionary
labours in Canada, in the East Indies, and on the Continent of Europe,
117l. 11s. The whole amount of the free-will offerings put into our hands
for carrying on this work, from March 5, 1834, to May 19, 1835, is 363l.
12s. 0 3/4d.
June 20. Our father is evidently today near his end. June 22. This
morning at two our father died. June 23. Both our children are ill. June
24. Our little boy is very ill. June 25. The dear little boy is so ill,
that I have no hope of his recovery. The disease is inflammation on the
chest. I spoke this evening comfortably at Gideon, on Psalm cxlv. 1-4,
thinking it right that neither the death of my father-in-law, nor my dying
child should keep me from the Lord's work. The Lord's holy will be done
concerning the dear little one. June 26. My prayer last evening was, that
God would be pleased to support my dear wife under the trial, should He
remove the little one; and to take him soon to Himself, thus sparing him
from suffering. I did not pray for the child's recovery. It was but two
hours after that the dear little one went home. The eldest and the
youngest the Lord has thus removed from our family in the same week. My
dear Mary feels her loss much, but yet is greatly supported. As to myself,
I am so fully enabled to realize that the dear infant is so much better
off with the Lord Jesus than with us, that I scarcely feel the loss at
all, and when I weep, I weep for joy.
June 27. My dear wife is graciously supported. May the Lord grant that
these afflictions may not be lost upon us! June 28. I preached today both
times comfortably. June 29. This morning was the funeral. The remains of
our father and infant were put into the same grave.
July 3. Our taxes are due, and may be called for any day, and for the
first time we have no money to pay them, as we were obliged, on account of
our late afflictions, to spend the money which we had put by for them. May
the Lord in mercy provide! July 6. I was enabled today, by the free-will
offerings through the boxes, and by what I had left, to pay the taxes
before they were called for. How kind of the Lord to answer my prayer so
soon! July 8. This evening I had 5l. sent from Weston-super-Mare. So the
Lord has again appeared. May I praise His holy name for this seasonable
help, which came when I had scarcely any money left! July 14. Today I had
again a suit of new clothes given to me by a brother. My clothes were much
worn and old, and our late funeral might have given a second reason for
having new ones. But I did not order any, because I had no money to pay
for them, and thought it wrong to contract debts.--A fresh paper was
brought in today for taxes, which ought to have been asked for many months
since. May the Lord give us the means to pay them!
July 15. We had again an especial prayer-meeting for the restoration of
brother Craik, who, though well in his general health, is yet unable to
preach, or even to converse for any length of time. July 18. I have felt
for several days weak in my chest. This weakness has been increasing, and
today I have felt it more than ever. I have thought it well to refrain
next week from all public speaking. May the Lord grant that I may be
brought nearer to Him through this, for I am not at all in the state in
which I ought to be, and I think sometimes that our late afflictions have
been lost upon me, and that the Lord will need to chastise me severely.
July 22. The last mentioned taxes were called for this morning, just
after the Lord had sent us 5l., from a distance of about eighty miles. So
the Lord has again of late, repeatedly, in answer to prayer, sent help.
May this lead us to trust in Him for the future! July 28. Since the 14th I
have felt unwell, and though sometimes a little better, on the whole I
have been getting worse and worse. This morning I have seen our medical
attendant, who thinks that all the disease arises from a disordered
stomach.
July 31. Today brother C-r, formerly a minister in the establishment, who
came to us a few days since, began, in connexion with the Scriptural
Knowledge Institution, to go from house to house, to spread the truth as a
city missionary. [This was a remarkable interposition of God. Brother
Craik had before this, for some months, been unable on account of bodily
infirmity, to labour in the work of the schools, the circulation of the
Scriptures, &c., and my own weakness, shortly after brother C-r's arrival,
increased so that I was obliged to give up the work entirely: How
gracious, therefore, of the Lord, to send brother C-r, that thus the work
might go on! Up to July, 1837, this brother was enabled to continue in his
work, and thus this little Institution was in a most important way
enlarged as it regards the field of labour.]
August 15. Today dear brother Craik returned from Devonshire, much better
in his general health, but not better as it regards his voice.--August 24.
I feel very weak, and suffer more than before from the disease. I am in
doubt whether to leave Bristol entirely for a time. I have no money to go
away for a change of air. I have had an invitation to stay for a week with
a sister in the country, and I think of accepting the invitation, and
going tomorrow. August 26. Today I had 5l. given to me for the express
purpose of using change of air. Aug. 29. Today I received another 5l. for
the same purpose.
August 30. Today, for the first Lord's day since our arrival in Bristol,
I have been kept from preaching through illness. How mercifully has the
Lord dealt in giving me so much strength for these years! I had another
5l. sent, to aid me in procuring change of air. How kind is the Lord in
thus providing me with the means of leaving Bristol! September 2. Went
with my family to Portishead. September 3 to 5. I read the lives of the
English martyrs at the time of the reformation. My spirit has been greatly
refreshed. May the Lord help me to follow these holy men as far as they
followed Christ! Of all reading, besides that of the Holy Scriptures,
which should be always THE book, THE CHIEF book to us, not merely in
theory, but also in practice, such like books seem to me the most useful
for the growth of the inner man. Yet one has to be cautious in the choice,
and to guard against reading too much. At such a time as the present, when
my mind and body are too weak for much exertion, as the study of the Word,
conversation, writing letters, or walking, &c., I find it most refreshing
to read a few pages of this kind, though these last six years I have not
read the fifth part, perhaps not the tenth part as much of other books as
of the Holy Scriptures.
September 14. We are still at Portishead. I am but little better. I am
greatly bowed down today on account of my inward corruptions and carnality
of heart. When will God deliver me from this state?! How I long to be more
like Him! My present way of living is also a great trial to me. The caring
so much about the body; the having for my chief employment eating and
drinking, walking, bathing, and taking horse exercise; all this to which I
have not been at all accustomed these six years, I find to be very trying.
I would much rather be again in the midst of the work in Bristol, if my
Lord will condescend to use His most unworthy servant.
September 15. As I clearly understood that the person, who lets me his
horse, has no license, I saw, that being bound as a believer to act
according to the laws of the country, I could use it no longer: and as
horse exercise seems most important, humanly speaking, for my restoration,
and as this is the only horse, which is to be had in the place, we came to
the conclusion to leave Portishead tomorrow. Immediately after, I received
a kind letter from a brother and two sisters in the Lord, who lived in the
Isle of Wight, which contained a fourth invitation, more pressing than
ever, to come and stay with them for some time. In addition to this, they
wrote that they had repeatedly prayed about the matter, and were persuaded
that I ought to come. This matter has been today a subject for prayer and
consideration to us.
September 16. We came this morning to the conclusion to leave Portishead
today, and that I should go to the Isle of Wight; but we saw not how my
wife and child and our servant could accompany me, as we had not
sufficient money for traveling expenses; and yet this seemed of
importance, as otherwise my wife would be overburdened in my absence, and
my mind would not be sufficiently free; and besides this, she also seems
to need change of air. The Lord graciously removed the difficulty this
evening; for we received most unexpectedly and unasked for 6l. 13s., which
was owed to us, and, also, when we had already retired to rest, a letter
was brought, containing a present of 2l. How very, very kind, and tender
is the Lord!
September 19. This evening we arrived at our friends' in the Isle of
Wight, by whom we were most kindly received.--September 21 to 26. Nothing
remarkable has occurred. I feel very comfortable in this place, and find
my stay here refreshing to my soul. My health is about the same. I am not
fit for mental exercise, and am soon fatigued even by conversation. I have
read during the last days, with great interest and admiration of the
goodness of God, and to the refreshment of my soul, the life of John
Newton, and the lives of some of the English martyrs at the time of the
reformation.
Sept. 27. Today I am thirty years of age. I feel myself an unprofitable
servant. How much more might I have lived for God than I have done! May
the Lord grant, that, if I am allowed to stay a few days more in this
world, they may be spent entirely for Him! September 29. Last evening,
when I retired from the family, I had a desire to go to rest at once, for
I had prayed a short while before; and feeling weak in body, the coldness
of the night was a temptation for me to pray no further. However, the Lord
did help me to fall upon my knees; and no sooner had I commenced praying,
than He shone into my soul, and gave me such a spirit of prayer, as I had
not enjoyed for many weeks. He graciously once more revived His work in
my heart. I enjoyed that nearness to God and fervency in prayer, for more
than an hour, for which my soul had been panting for many weeks past. For
the first time, during this illness, I had now also a spirit of prayer as
it regards my health. I could ask the Lord earnestly to restore me again,
which had not been the case before. I now long to go back again to the
work in Bristol, yet without impatience, and feel assured that the Lord
will strengthen me to return to it. I went to bed especially happy and
awoke this morning in great peace, rose sooner than usual, and had again,
for more than an hour, real communion with the Lord before breakfast. May
He in mercy continue this state of heart to His most unworthy child!
October 8. My strength has been during the last days increasing, but I
feel still the symptoms of indigestion. I have been able to speak several
times at family prayer, and to expound the Scriptures to the school
children, without suffering in consequence of it.
October 9. I have many times had thoughts of giving in print some account
of the Lord's goodness to me, for the instruction, comfort, and
encouragement of the children of God; and I have been more than ever
stirred up to do so since I read Newton's life a few days ago. I have
considered, today, all the reasons for and against, and find that there
are scarcely any against, and many for it.
October 15. Today we left our dear friends for Bristol. November 15.
Brother C-r and I have been praying together, the last five days, that the
Lord would be pleased to send us means for the carrying on of the work of
the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. This evening a brother gave me 6s.
1d., being money which he formerly used to pay towards the support of a
trade club, which he has lately given up for the Lord's sake.--November 18.
This evening £30 was given to me; £25. for the Scriptural Knowledge
Institution, and £5. for myself. This is a most remarkable answer to
prayer. Brother C-r and I have prayed repeatedly together during the last
week, concerning the work, and especially that the Lord would be pleased
to give us the means to continue, and even to enlarge, the field. In
addition to this, I have several times asked for a supply for myself, and
He has kindly granted both these requests. Oh that I may have grace to
trust Him more and more!--November 20. This evening I took tea at a
sister's house, where I found Franke's life. I have frequently, for a long
time, thought of labouring in a similar way, though it might be on a much
smaller scale; not, to imitate Franke, but in reliance upon the Lord. May
God make it plain! November 21. Today I have had it very much impressed on
my heart, no longer merely to think about the establishment of an
Orphan-House, but actually to set about it, and I have been very much
in prayer respecting it, in order to ascertain the Lord's
mind.--I received this day, from an unexpected quarter, £5.
for the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, in answer to prayer;
and I had also £1. 14s. 6d. sent from a distance of one hundred
and twenty miles.-November 22. This evening I had sent for
the Institution £1. 4s.--November 23. Today I had £10. sent
from Ireland for our Institution. Thus the Lord, in answer to prayer,
has given me, in a few days, about £50. I had asked only for £40. This has
been a great encouragement to me, and has still more stirred
me up to think and pray about the establishment of an
Orphan-House.--November 25. I have been again much in prayer
yesterday and today about the Orphan-House, and am more
and more convinced that it is of God. May He in mercy guide me!
The three chief reasons for establishing an Orphan-House are:--1.
That God may be glorified, should He be pleased to furnish me with
the means, in its being seen that it is not a vain thing to trust in Him;
and that thus the faith of His children may be strengthened. 2. The
spiritual welfare of fatherless and motherless children. 3. Their
temporal welfare.
It may be well to enter somewhat more minutely, than my journal does,
upon the reasons which led me to establish an Orphan-House. Through my
pastoral labours among the saints in Bristol, through my considerable
correspondence, and through brethren who visited Bristol; I had constantly
cases brought before me, which proved, that one of the especial things
which the children of God needed in our day, was, to have their faith
strengthened. For instance: I might visit a brother, who worked fourteen
or even sixteen hours a day at his trade, the necessary result of which
was, that not only his body suffered, but his soul was lean, and he had no
enjoyment in the things of God. Under such circumstances I might point out
to him that he ought to work less, in order that his bodily health might
not suffer, and that he might gather strength for his inner man, by
reading the word of God, by meditation over it, and by prayer. The reply,
however, I generally found to be something like this: "But if I work
less, I do not earn enough for the support of my family. Even now, whilst
I work so much, I have scarcely enough. The wages are so low, that I must
work hard in order to obtain what I need. There was no trust in God. No
real belief in the truth of that word: "Seek ye first the kingdom of
God, and His righteousness: and all these things shall be added unto you."
I might reply something like this: "My dear brother, it is not your work
which supports your family, but the Lord; and He who has fed you and your
family when you could not work at all, on account of illness, would surely
provide for you and yours, if for the sake of obtaining food for your
inner man, you were to work only for so many hours a day, as would allow
you proper time for retirement. And is it not the case now, that you begin
the work of the day after having had only a few hurried moments for
prayer; and when you leave off your work in the evening, and mean then to
read a little of the word of God, are you not too much worn out in body
and mind, to enjoy it, and do you not often fall asleep whilst reading the
Scriptures, or whilst on your knees in prayer?" The brother would allow it
was so; he would allow that my advice was good; but still I read in his
countenance, even if he should not have actually said so, "How should I
get on, if I were to carry out your advice?" I longed, therefore, to have
something to point the brother to, as a visible proof, that our God and
Father is the same faithful God as ever He was; as willing as ever to
PROVE Himself to be the LIVING GOD, in our day as formerly, to all who put
their trust in Him.--Again, sometimes I found children of God tried in
mind by the prospect of old age, when they might be unable to work any
longer, and therefore were harassed by the fear of having to go into the
poor-house. If in such a case I pointed out to them, how their Heavenly
Father has always helped those who put their trust in Him, they might not,
perhaps, always say, that times have changed; but yet it was evident
enough, that God was not looked upon by them as the LIVING God. My spirit
was ofttimes bowed down by this, and I longed to set something before the
children of God, whereby they might see, that He does not forsake, even in
our day, those who rely upon him.--Another class of persons were brethren
in business, who suffered in their souls, and brought guilt on their
consciences, by carrying on their business, almost in the same way, as
unconverted persons do. The competition in trade, the bad times, the
over-peopled country, were given as reasons why, If the business were
carried on simply according to the word of God, it could not be expected
to do well. Such a brother, perhaps, would express the wish, that he might
be differently situated; but very rarely did I see, that there was a stand
made for God, that there was the holy determination to trust in the living
God, and to depend on Him, in order that a good conscience might be
maintained. To this class likewise I desired to show, by a visible proof,
that God is unchangeably the same.--Then there was another class of
persons, individuals who were in professions in which they could not
continue with a good conscience, or persons who were in an unscriptural
position with reference to spiritual things; but both classes feared, on
account of the consequences, to give up the profession in which they could
not abide with God, or to leave their position, lest they should be thrown
out of employment. My spirit longed to be instrumental in strengthening
their faith, by giving them not only instances from the word of God, of
His willingness and ability to help all those who rely upon Him, but to
show them by proofs, that He is the same in our day. I well knew that the
word of God ought to be enough, and it was, by grace, enough to me; but
still, I considered that I aught to lend a helping hand to my brethren, if
by any means, by this visible proof to the unchangeable faithfulness of
the Lord I might strengthen their hands in God; for I remembered what a
great blessing my own soul had received through the Lord's dealings with
His servant A. H. Franke, who, in dependence upon the living God alone,
established an immense Orphan-House, which I had seen many times with my
own eyes. I, therefore, judged myself bound to be the servant of the
Church of Christ, in the particular point on which I had obtained mercy:
namely, in being able to take God by His word and to rely upon it. All
these exercises of my soul, which resulted from the fact that so many
believers, with whom I became acquainted, were harassed and distressed in
mind, or brought guilt on their consciences, on account of not trusting in
the Lord; were used by God to awaken in my heart the desire of setting
before the church at large, and before the world, a proof that He has not
in the least changed; and this seemed to me best done, by the establishing
of an Orphan-House. It needed to be something which could be seen, even by
the natural eye. Now, if I, a poor man, simply by prayer and faith,
obtained, without asking any individual, the means for establishing and
carrying on an Orphan-House: there would be something which with the
Lord's blessing, might be instrumental in strengthening the faith of the
children of God besides being a testimony to the consciences of the
unconverted, of the reality of the things of God. This, then, was the
primary reason, for establishing the Orphan-House. I certainly did from my
heart desire to be used by God to benefit the bodies of poor children,
bereaved of both parents, and seek, in other respects, with the help of
God, to do them good for this life;--I also particularly longed to be used
by God in getting the dear orphans trained up in the fear of God;--but
still, the first and primary object of the work was, (and still is:) that
God might be magnified by the fact, that the orphans under my care are
provided, with all they need, only by prayer and faith, without any one
being asked by me or my fellow-labourers, whereby it may be seen, that God
is FAITHFUL STILL, and HEARS PRAYER STILL. That I was not mistaken, has
been abundantly proved singe November, 1835, both by the conversion of
many sinners who have read the accounts, which have been published in
connexion with this work, and also by the abundance of fruit that has
followed in the hearts of the saints, for which, from my inmost soul, I
desire to be grateful to God, and the honour and glory of which not only
is due to Him alone, but which I, by His help, am enabled to
ascribe to Him.
November 28. I have been, every day this week, very much in prayer
concerning the Orphan-House, chiefly entreating the Lord to take away
every thought concerning it out of my mind, if the matter be not of Him;
and have also repeatedly examined my heart concerning my motives in the
matter. But I have been more and more confirmed that it is of God.
December 2. I have again these last days prayed much about the
Orphan-House, and have frequently examined my heart, that if it were at
all my desire to establish it for the sake of gratifying myself I might
find it out. To that end I have also conversed with brother Craik about
it, that he might be instrumental in showing me any hidden corruption of
my heart concerning the matter, or any other scriptural reason against
my engaging in it. The one only reason which ever made me at all doubt as
to its being of God, that I should engage in this work, is, the
multiplicity of engagements which I have already. But that which has
overbalanced this objection in my mind has been:--1. That the matter
is of such great importance. 2. That if the matter be of God, He will
in due time send suitable individuals, so that comparatively little of
my time will be taken up in this service.