and November. At the end of November it became a point of solemn
consideration with me, whether I could remain connected with the Society
in the usual way. My chief objections were these: 1. If I were sent out by
the Society, it was more than probable, yea, almost needful, if I were to
leave England, that I should labour on the Continent, as I was unfit to be
sent to eastern countries on account of my health, which would probably
have suffered, both on account of the climate, and of my having to learn
other languages. Now, if I did go to the Continent, it was evident, that
without ordination I could not have any extensive field of usefulness, as
unordained ministers are generally prevented from labouring freely there;
but I could not conscientiously submit to be ordained by unconverted men,
professing to have power to set me apart for the ministry, or to
communicate something to me for this work which they do not possess
themselves. Besides this, I had other objections to being connected with
any state church or national religious establishment, which arose from the
increased light which I had obtained through the reception of this truth,
that the word of God is our only standard, and the Holy Spirit our only
teacher. For as I now began to compare what I knew of the establishment in
England and those on the Continent, with this only true standard, the word
of God, I found that all establishments, even because they are
establishments, i.e. the world and the church mixed up together, not only
contain in them the principles which necessarily must lead to departure
from the word of God; but also, as long as they remain establishments,
entirely preclude the acting throughout according to the Holy
Scriptures.--Then again, if I were to stay in England, the Society
would not allow me to preach in any place indiscriminately, where the
Lord might open a door for me; and to the ordination of English bishops
I had still greater objections, than to the ordination of a Prussian
Consistory. 2. I further had a conscientious objection against being
led and directed by men in my missionary labours. As a servant of Christ
it appeared to me, I ought to be guided by the Spirit, and not by men,
as to time and place; and this I would say, with all deference to others,
who may be much more taught and much more spiritually minded than myself.
A servant of Christ has but one Master. 3. I had love for the Jews, and
I had been enabled to give proofs of it; yet I could not conscientiously
say, as the committee would expect from me, that I would spend the greater
part of my time only among them. For the scriptural plan seemed to me,
that, in coming to a place, I should seek out the Jews, and commence my
labour particularly among them; but that, if they rejected the gospel, I
should go to the nominal Christians--The more I weighed these points, the
more it appeared to me that I should be acting hypocritically, were I to
suffer them to remain in my mind, without making them
known to the committee.
The question that next occurred to me was, how I ought to act if not sent
out by the Society. With my views I could not return to Prussia; for I
must either refrain from preaching, or imprisonment would be the result.
The only plan that presented itself to me was, that I should go from place
to place throughout England, as the Lord might direct me, and give me
opportunity, preaching wherever I went, both among Jews and nominal
Christians. To this mode of service I was especially stirred up through
the recently received truth of the Lord's second coming, having it
impressed upon my heart to seek to warn sinners, and to stir up the
saints; as He might soon come. At the same time it appeared to me well,
that I should do this in connexion with the Society for promoting
Christianity among the Jews, serving them without any salary, provided
they would accept me on these conditions. An objection which came to my
mind against taking any step which might lead to the dissolution of my
connexion with the Society, namely, that I had been some expense to it,
and that thus I should appear ungrateful, and the money would seem to have
been thrown away, was easily removed in this way:
1. When I engaged with the Society, I did it according to the light I
then had. 2. I have but one Master; His is the money, and to Him I have to
give an account. 3. Though I have nothing to boast of, but much reason to
be ashamed before God on account of my lack of service; yet, speaking
after the manner of men, in some measure I did work, not only in the
Lord's service, but even in that particular line for which the money had
been put into the hands of the committee.
There remained now only one point more to be settled:
How I should do for the future as it regarded the supply of my temporal
wants, which naturally would have been a great obstacle, especially as I
was not merely a foreigner, but spoke so little English, that whilst I was
greatly assisted in expounding the Scriptures, it was with difficulty I
could converse about common things. On this point, however, I had no
anxiety; for I considered, that, as long as I really sought to serve the
Lord, that is, as long as I sought the kingdom of God and His
righteousness, these my temporal supplies would be added to me. The Lord
most mercifully enabled me to take the promises of His word, and rest upon
them, and such as Matthew vii. 7, 8, John xiv. 13, 14, Matthew vi. 25-34,
were the stay of my soul concerning this point. In addition to this, the
example of brother Groves, the dentist before alluded to, who gave up his
profession, and went out as a missionary, was a great encouragement to me.
For the news, which by this time had arrived, of how the Lord had aided
him on his way to Petersburg, and at Petersburg, strengthened my faith.
At last, on December 12, 1829, I came to the conclusion to dissolve my
connexion with the Society, if they would not accept my services under the
above conditions, and to go throughout the country preaching, (being
particularly constrained to do so from a desire to serve the Lord as much
as in me lay, BEFORE HIS RETURN), and to trust in Him for the supply of my
temporal wants. Yet at the same time it appeared well to me to wait a
month longer, and to consider the matter still further, before I wrote to
the committee, that I might be sure I had weighed it fully.
On December 24th I went to the Church Missionary Institution at
Islington, in the hope of benefiting the students there, if it were the
Lord's will. I returned very happy, as I almost invariably was at that
time, and went to bed full of joy. Next morning, (being that of Christmas
day), I awoke in a very different state of heart from what I had
experienced for many weeks past. I had no enjoyment, and felt cold and
lifeless in prayer. At our usual morning meeting, however, one of the
brethren exhorted me to continue to pray, saying that the Lord surely
would again smile on me, though now for a season, for wise purposes, He
seemed to have withdrawn Himself. I did so. At the Lord's table, in the
morning, a measure of enjoyment returned. Afterwards I dined in a family,
in company with the brother just referred to. My former enjoyment
gradually returned. Towards evening the Lord gave me an opportunity of
speaking about His return, and I had great enjoyment in doing so. At eight
o'clock I was asked to expound at family prayer, and was much assisted by
the Lord. About half an hour after the exposition was over, I was
requested to come out of the room to see one of the servants, and the
mother of another of the servants, who had been present at family prayer.
I found them in tears, and both deeply impressed and under concern about
their souls. I then went home, at least as happy as on the previous
evening. I have related this circumstance, because I am aware that it is a
common temptation of Satan to make us give up the reading of the Word and
prayer when our enjoyment is gone; as if it were of no use to read the
Scriptures when we do not enjoy them, and as if it were of no use to pray
when we have no spirit of prayer; whilst the truth is, in order to enjoy
the Word, we ought to continue to read it, and the way to obtain a spirit
of prayer, is, to continue praying; for the less we read the word of God,
the less we desire to read it, and the less we pray, the less we desire to
pray.
About the beginning of the next year my fellow students had a fortnight's
vacation, and as with them I had conformed myself to the order of the
Institution, I felt that I might also partake of their privileges; not
indeed to please the flesh, but to serve the Lord. On December 30th, I
therefore left London for Exmouth, where I intended to spend my vacation
in the house of my Christian friends, who had kindly lodged me the summer
before, that I might preach there during this fortnight, and still more
fully weigh the matter respecting my proposal to time Society. I arrived
at Exmouth on December 31st, at six in the evening, an hour before the
commencement of a prayer-meeting at Ebenezer Chapel. My heart was burning
with a desire to tell of the Lord's goodness to my soul, and to speak
forth what I considered might not be known to most with whom I met. Being,
however, not called on, either to speak or pray, I was silent. The next
morning I spoke on the difference between being a Christian and a happy
Christian, and showed, whence it generally comes, that we rejoice so
little in the Lord. This my first testimony was blessed to many believers,
that God, as it appears, might show me that He was with me. Among others
it proved a blessing to a Christian female, who had been for ten years in
bondage, and who, in the providence of God, had been brought from Exeter
to be present that morning. This she told me many months after, when I met
her on a journey.
At the request of several believers I spoke again in the afternoon, and
also proposed a meeting in the chapel every morning at ten, to expound the
epistle to the Romans. I had also most days a meeting in a room with
several ladies, for reading the Scriptures with them. This I did that I
might make the best of my fortnight. The second day after my arrival, a
brother said to me: "I have been praying for this month past that the Lord
would do something for Lympstone, a large parish where there is little
spiritual light. There is a Wesleyan chapel, and I doubt not you would be
allowed to preach there." Being ready to speak of Jesus wherever the Lord
might open a door, yet so, that I could be faithful to the truths which he
had been pleased to teach me, I went, and easily obtained liberty to
preach twice on the next day, being the Lord's day. Besides this I
preached in another village near Exmouth; so that I spoke once, twice, or
three times in public or private meetings every day for the first ten or
twelve days, and that with great enjoyment to my own soul.
During the first days of January, 1830, whilst at Exmouth, it became more
and more clear to me, that I could not be connected with the Society under
the usual conditions; and as I had an abundance of work where I was, and
little money to spend in traveling (for all I possessed was about five
pounds), it appeared best to me to write at once to the committee, that,
whilst they were coming to a decision respecting me, I might continue to
preach. I therefore wrote to them, stating what had been my views before I
became acquainted with them, and what they were now. I also stated my
difficulty in remaining, connected with them on the usual terms, as stated
in substance above; and then concluded, that as, however, I owed them
much, as having been instrumental in bringing me to England, where the
Lord had blessed me so abundantly: and as I, also, should like to obtain
from them the Hebrew Scriptures and tracts for the Jews: I would gladly
serve them without any salary, if they would allow me to labour in regard
to time and place as the Lord might direct me. Some time after I received
a very kind private letter from one of the secretaries, who always had
been very kind to me, together with the following official communication
from the committee.
"London Society for promoting Christianity amongst the Jews."
At a Meeting of the Missionary Sub-Committee, held January 27, 1830,
Society House, 10, Wardrobe Place, Doctors' Commons, a Letter was read
from Mr. G. F. Müller.
"Resolved, That Mr. Müller be informed, that while the committee
cordially rejoice in any real progress in knowledge and grace which he may
have made under the teaching of the Holy Spirit, they, nevertheless,
consider it inexpedient for any society to employ those who are unwilling
to submit themselves to their guidance with respect to missionary
operations; and that while, therefore, Mr. Müller holds his present
opinions on that point, the committee cannot consider him as a missionary
student; but should more mature reflection cause him to alter that
opinion, they will readily enter into further communication with him."
Thus my connexion with the Society was entirely dissolved. Fifty-two
years have passed away since, and I never have, even for one single
moment, regretted the step I took, but have to be sorry that I have been
so little grateful for the Lord's goodness to me in that matter. The
following part of the Narrative also will prove to the enlightened reader,
how God blessed my acting out the light He had been pleased to give me.
But I cannot leave this subject, without adding, that it is far from my
intention to throw any blame upon the Society. I have no wish to do so:
nay, I confess, were the last-mentioned circumstances not so intimately
connected with my being in England, I would rather have left out the
matter altogether. But being under the necessity of saying something about
my connexion with it, it appeared best to me to relate the circumstances
just as they were. Yet I do testify that I have not done it in the least
for the sake of injuring the Society; for I have received much kindness
from some of those connected with it, particularly from two worthy men,
then taking a prominent part in managing its affairs. If I be judged
differently, I can only say, "Judge nothing before the time, until the
Lord come."
After I had preached about three weeks at Exmouth and its neighbourhood,
I went to Teignmouth, with the intention of staying there ten days, to
preach the Word among the brethren with whom I had become acquainted
during the previous summer, and thus to tell them of the Lord's goodness
to me. One of the brethren said almost immediately on my arrival at
Teignmouth, I wish you would become our minister, as the present one is
going to leave us. My answer was, I do not intend to be stationary in any
place, but to go through the country, preaching the Word as the Lord may
direct me. In the evening, Monday, I preached for brother Craik, at
Shaldon, in the presence of three ministers, none of whom liked the
sermon; yet it pleased God, through it, to bring to the knowledge of His
dear Son, a young woman who had been servant to one of these ministers,
and who had heard her master preach many times. How differently does the
Lord judge from man! Here was a particular opportunity for the Lord to get
glory to Himself. A foreigner was the preacher, with great natural
obstacles in the way, for he was not able to speak English with fluency;
but he had a desire to serve God, and was by this time also brought into
such a state of heart as to desire that God alone should have the glory,
if any good were done through his instrumentality. How often has it struck
me, both at that time and since, that His strength was made perfect in my
weakness.
On Tuesday evening I preached at Ebenezer Chapel, Teignmouth, the same
chapel at the opening of which I became acquainted with the brother, whom
the Lord had afterwards used as an instrument of benefiting me so much. My
preaching was also disliked there by many of the hearers; but the Lord
opened the hearts of a few to receive the truth, and another young woman
was brought to the Lord through the instrumentality of the word then
preached. On Wednesday I preached again in the same chapel, and the word
was disliked still, perhaps more, though the few, who received the truth
in the love of it, increased in number. On Thursday I preached again at
Shaldon, and on Friday at Teignmouth. The effect was the same; dislike on
the one side, and joy and delight in the truth on the other. By this time
I began to reflect about the cause of this opposition; for the same
brethren who had treated me with much kindness the summer previous, when I
was less spiritually minded, and understood much less of the truth, now
seemed to oppose me, and I could not explain it in any other way than
this, that the Lord intended to work through my instrumentality at
Teignmouth, and that therefore Satan, fearing this, sought to raise
opposition against me.
On the Lord's day I dined with a brother, whose heart the Lord
had opened to receive me as a servant of Christ. After dinner I
talked to a young woman, his servant, at the request of her sister, who on
the Tuesday previous had been convinced of sin, and on the Friday brought
to enjoy peace in the Lord. This young woman also was, through the
instrumentality of this conversation, brought to see her sinful state,
though she could not rejoice in the Lord until about seven months after.
How differently the Lord dealt with her sister, and yet the work of grace
was as real in the one as in the other, as I had full opportunity of
seeing afterwards! On this same Lord's day I preached twice at Teignmouth,
and once at Shaldon; for so precious did every opportunity seem to me, and
so powerfully did I feel the importance of those precious truths, which I
had so recently been led to see, that I longed to be instrumental in
communicating them to others.
By this time the request, that I might stay at Teignmouth, and be the
minister of the above chapel, had been repeatedly expressed by an
increasing number of the brethren; but others were decidedly against my
remaining there. This opposition was instrumental in settling it in my
mind that I should stay for awhile, at least until I was formally
rejected. In consequence of this conclusion I took the following step,
which, it may be, I should not repeat under similar circumstances, but
which was certainly taken in love to those who were concerned in the
matter, and for the glory of God, as far as I then had light.
On the Tuesday following, after preaching, I told the brethren how, in
the providence of God, I had been brought to them without the least
intention of staying among them, but that, on finding them without a
minister, I had been led to see it to be the will of God to remain with
them. I also told them, as far as I remember, that I was aware of the
opposition of some, but that I nevertheless intended to preach to them
till they rejected me; and if they should say, I might preach, but they
would give me no salary, that would make no difference on my part, as I
did not preach for the sake of money; but I told them, at the same time,
that it was an honour, to be allowed to supply the temporal wants of any
of the servants of Christ. The latter point I added, as it seemed right to
me, to give out the whole counsel of God, as far as I knew it. On the next
day, Wednesday, I left, and having preached in two or three places near
Exmouth, and taken leave of my friends there, I returned to Teignmouth.
Here I preached again three times on the Lord's day, none saying we wish
you not to preach, though many of the hearers did not hear with enjoyment.
Some of them left, and never returned; some left, but returned after
awhile. Others came to the chapel, who had not been in the habit of
attending there previous to my coming. There was sufficient proof that the
work of God was going on, for there were those who were glad to hear what
I preached, overlooking the infirmities of the foreigner, delighting in
the food for their souls, without caring much about the form in which the
truth was set before them; and these were not less spiritual than the
rest: and there were those who objected decidedly; some, however,
manifesting merely the weakness of brethren, and others the bitterness of
the opposers of the cross. There was, in addition to this, a great stir, a
spirit of inquiry, and a searching of the Scriptures, whether these things
were so. And what is more than all, God set His seal upon the work, in
converting sinners. Twelve weeks I stood in this same position, whilst the
Lord graciously supplied my temporal wants, through two brethren, unasked
for. After this time, the whole little church, eighteen in number,
unanimously gave me an invitation to become their pastor. My answer to
them was, that their invitation did not show me more than I had seen
before, that it was the will of God that I should remain with them, yet
that for their sakes I could not but rejoice in this invitation, as it was
a proof to me that God had blessed them through my instrumentality, in
making them thus of one mind. I also expressly stated to the brethren,
that I should only stay so long with them, as I saw it clearly to be the
will of the Lord; for I had not given up my intention of going from place
to place, if the Lord would allow me to do so. The brethren, at the same
time, now offered to supply my temporal wants, by giving me £55. a year,
which sum was afterwards somewhat increased, on account of the increase of
the church.
I now had Teignmouth for my residence, but I did not confine my labours
to this place; for I preached regularly once a week in Exeter, once a
fortnight at Topsham, sometimes at Shaldon, often at Exmouth, sometimes in
the above-mentioned villages near Exmouth, regularly once a week at
Bishopsteignton, where a part of the church lived, and afterwards
repeatedly at Chudleigh, Collumpton, Newton Bushel, and elsewhere.
That which I now considered the best mode of preparation for the public
ministry of the Word, no longer adopted from necessity, on account of want
of time, but from deep conviction, and from the experience of God's
blessing upon it, both as it regards my own enjoyment, the benefit of the
saints, and the conversion of sinners, is as follows:--1. I do not presume
to know myself what is best for the hearers, and I therefore ask the Lord
in the first place, that He would graciously be pleased to teach me on
what subject I shall speak, or what portion of His word I shall expound.
Now sometimes it happens, that previous to my asking Him, a subject or
passage has been in my mind, on which it has appeared well for me to
speak. In that case I ask the Lord, whether I should speak on this subject
or passage. If, after prayer, I feel persuaded that I should I fix upon
it, yet so, that I would desire to leave myself open to the Lord to change
it, if He please. Frequently, however, it occurs, that I have no text or
subject in my mind, before I give myself to prayer for the sake of
ascertaining the Lord's will concerning it. In this case I wait some time
on my knees for an answer, trying to listen to the voice of the Spirit to
direct me. If then a passage or subject, whilst I am on my knees, or after
I have finished praying for a text, is brought to my mind, I again ask the
Lord, and that sometimes repeatedly, especially if, humanly speaking, the
subject or text should be a peculiar one, whether it be His will that I
should speak on such a subject or passage. If after prayer my mind is
peaceful about it, I take this to be the text, but still desire to leave
myself open to the Lord for direction, should He please to alter it, or
should I have been mistaken. Frequently also, in the third place, it
happens, that I not only have no text nor subject on my mind previous to
my praying for guidance in this matter, but also I do not obtain one after
once, or twice, or more times praying about it. I used formerly at times
to be much perplexed, when this was the case, but for more than forty-five
years it has pleased the Lord, in general at least, to keep me in peace
about it. What I do is, to go on with my regular reading of the
Scriptures, where I left off the last time, praying (whilst I read) for a
text, now and then also laying aside my bible for prayer, till I get one.
Thus it has happened, that I have had to read five, ten; yea twenty
chapters, before it has pleased the Lord to give me a text: yea, many
times I have even had to go to the place of meeting without one, and
obtained it perhaps only a few minutes before I was going to speak; but I
have never lacked the Lord's assistance at the time of preaching, provided
I had earnestly sought it in private. The preacher cannot know the
particular state of the various individuals who compose the congregation,
nor what they require, but the Lord knows it; and if the preacher
renounces his own wisdom, he will be assisted by the Lord; but if he will
choose in his own wisdom, then let him not be surprised if he should see
little benefit result from his labours.
Before I leave this part of the subject, I would just observe one
temptation concerning the choice of a text. We may see a subject to be so
very full, that it may strike us it would do for some other occasion. For
instance, sometimes a text, brought to one's mind for a week-evening
meeting, may appear more suitable for the Lord's day, because then there
would be a greater number of hearers present. Now, in the first place, we
do not know whether the Lord ever will allow us to preach on another
Lord's day; and, in the second place, we know not whether that very
subject may not be especially suitable for some or many individuals
present just that week-evening. Thus I was once tempted, after I had been
a short time at Teignmouth, to reserve a subject, which had been just
opened to me, for the next Lord's day. But being able, by the grace of
God, to overcome the temptation by the above reasons, and preaching about
it at once, it pleased the Lord to bless it to the conversion of a sinner,
and that too an individual who meant to come but that once more to the
chapel, and to whose case the subject was most remarkably suited.