SCENE--_A Railway Carriage. Present two Passengers
discussing the Topics of the Day._
_First Passenger_. And then there's the School Board! I am on my way
to record my vote.
_Second Pass._ And so am I. I hope, Sir, we are of both of the way of
thinking?
_First Pass._ I hope so, too. My idea is to give the children of the
poor every possible advantage. Let them learn all they can. Yes, Sir,
let them learn all they can.
[Illustration: "Why, it's as plain as the Nose on your face!"]
_Second Pass._ (_excitedly_). But, my dear Sir, what can be the good
of that? It will be of no use to them in their future, and will only
make them dissatisfied with their position.
_First Pass._ (_calmly_). Ah, my dear Sir, you evidently take a narrow
view of the subject. Why should not the poor enjoy equality with the
rich? It is only the accident of birth that divides the peasant from
the Peer.
_Second Pass._ (_obstinately_). I do not care about the cause, I
only look to the result--the rich _are_ divided from the poor. It is
ridiculous that an orange-girl should play the piano, and a ploughman
paint a picture.
_First Pass._ (_smiling_). I do not see why. Surely the poor should
have their little amusements? And do we not have it on decent
classical authority, "that Art polishes the manners, and renders them
less ferocious!"
_Second Pass._ (_contemptuously_). Ah! You take a sentimental view
of it! Believe me, the people would be all the better were they to
receive a practical--a technical education--say were they to be taught
how to sweep chimneys, or to blacken boots!
_First Pass._ (_complacently_). They will engage in both those useful
industries with the greater _gusto_ if they know that when they are at
leisure they can understand MACAULAY or enjoy BEETHOVEN.
_Second Pass._ (_with conviction_). But you must admit that there is
a good deal of waste. Consider Mr. FORSTER calculated that the rate
would be threepence in the pound, and now it's a shilling, and will
go higher still! Remember that Londoners pay far more dearly than
citizens of many provincial towns, for an article not one whit better.
_First Pass._ (_with, a genial smile_). Ah, I see you are quoting from
the Press.
_Second Pass._ (_earnestly_). And why not? Is it true, or is it
not, that money is squandered upon rotten buildings, upon excessive
salaries to teachers, and upon the provision of refinements in
education?
_First Pass._ (_smiling_). Still quoting! But if I admit that there
is something in what you say, is it not always the case? Have we ever
unmixed good, or unmixed evil? And I contend that the same advantages
derivable from a School-Board education entirely compensate for a
little loss.
_Second Pass._ (_rather out of temper_). Well, you take it calmly
enough.
_First Pass._ (_amiably_). Why not? It is my theory that every child
should have the best possible education. The infant should have enough
mental food to last him for life. It is our duty that he should got
it.
_Second Pass._ (_with irritation_). Well, at least you take an
unselfish view of the case.
_First Pass._ (_smiling sweetly_). I don't see that! As a matter of
fact, I am sufficiently successful not to care for competition. I
believe that I am first-rate in my own walk; and, however the School
Board may educate, they will not reach my standard.
_Second Pass._ (_drily_). I was not thinking of that, although it is a
consideration. But how about the rates, my dear Sir--the rates?
_First Pass._ (_with a good-humoured laugh_). Oh, bother the rates! I
don't see where they come in.
_Second Pass._ (_with ghastly jocularity_). But I do--by the front
door.
_First Pass._ (_condescendingly_). Tut, tut! But what have the rates
to do with the matter?
_Second Pass._ (_astonished_). Why, at a shilling in the pound and
more to follow, you must admit they make a hole in a modest income?
_First Pass._ (_enthusiastically_). And what if they do, Sir--what if
they do? Have we no duty to our fellow man? Ought we not to sacrifice
something on his behalf--for his sake? And, my dear Sir, I speak all
the more dispassionately, because my rates are paid--_by my Landlord!_
[_Curtain._
* * * * *
ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.--"HISTORICAL GARDENER."--Yes, certainly--it
was "The Gallows-tree," from which "The Hanging Gardens of Babylon"
took their name. Any school-boy knows this.--"INQUIRING BUOY."--No;
the Nore Light is not a candelabraham.
* * * * *