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This chapter is devoted to the gathering up of the fragments that
remain from all the other departments that cannot be rigidly
classified, and yet are useful to remember.
There are many minute points of etiquette which, although not
extremely important, often serve as a source of embarrassment to
uninitiated persons, and upon which information that can be relied
upon is desired.
Who Bows First?
Whether the lady or gentleman should bow first is a point where many
differ. That the lady should bow first, most authorities agree in
declaring. This acts as a safeguard to a lady, permitting her to drop
an undesirable acquaintance, as a failure to bow would be considered
the "cut direct." But some ladies are forgetful of faces, and some are
near-sighted, thus preventing ready recognition of others; so that,
while this custom might apply to introductions given at a ball, still,
a bow hurts no one, and an undesirable acquaintance is easily dropped
without this rudeness. Hence it would seem that, whichever one
recognizes first, the other ought to have the privilege of bowing
without breaking this social law, which is better observed in the
spirit than in the letter.
"Lady" or "Gentleman?"
These terms have come to be used so continuously, and sometimes so
meaninglessly that they bid fair to crowd out the sweet, strong words,
"man" and "woman," and a revulsion of taste has swept in that goes
nigh in some "sets" to utterly swamp the "lady" and "gentleman."
Either extreme is a mistake.
There is a right and wrong use of these terms; for example, one says
to one's servants, or to one's children, "I expect some ladies to
visit me to-morrow," while later, referring to them in conversation
with a friend, one may say, "they are women of exquisite culture." A
matron may speak of young ladies as "girls," but if she be not
intimate, "young ladies," is more usual, or she may address them
collectively as "young women."