Sometimes I labor under the impression that she can be as dense as they
make them across the water.
Then again she makes some remarks that stagger me, and on my life I'm
unable to decide whether she's a fool, or takes me for one.
Her breaks are numerous.
Of course being newly landed she had never tasted ice cream, and as the
first spoonful went into her mouth it came out again with violence, and
tears coming into her eyes, she gasped:
"Howly mither, it do burn!"
[Illustration]
Why, it was only this morning I wanted to consult my wife about
something or other.
Of course she could not be found.
It's always thus.
But I am not the man to complain.
With the determination that has always distinguished my noble line of
ancestry, I started in to search from one end of the flat to the other.
This brought me to the kitchen, where lovely Nora was diligently bending
her back over the washtubs.
"Can you tell me of my wife's whereabouts?" I asked.
She looked puzzled, but only for a moment, and then smiling broadly,
said:
"Faith, to till yees the truth, I do belave they're in the wash, sur."
However, I've run across some things that won't wash.
We had a regular seance one night last week at the house of a great
friend of mine called Harper. It was very interesting.
The professor who conducted the exercises was a genius, and he came
mighty near converting some of the ladies to his extraordinary way of
thinking.