Reading further I found this:
"To pop the question--see pop."
Well, I never begrudged that dime a bit. And my respect for that solemn
old conglomeration of knowledge is now mingled with hilarity.
Since I'm in on the subject of young ones, let me tell you that I've
always endeavored to impress my children with the fact that I take an
interest in all they do.
That is, I want them to come to me with all their troubles, and gain by
my checkered experience.
Sort of older brother confidence game, you know.
Once in a while I'm rather afraid they take advantage of my easy-going
character.
There's Aleck, about sixteen, and almost ready to go to college--what
d'ye think he said to me yesterday.
Catching me in a particularly good frame of mind, when a big check had
just come in, he said in a serious tone:
[Illustration]
"Will you advise me, pop?"
"Certainly--only too delighted, my son. Now, what is it you want my
opinion upon?" I said, feeling particularly pleased because of this
confidence.
"Well, you see, I wanted to know whether I had better strike you for
five dollars or for ten?"
There's no use in telling you how much he got, for who could resist such
a clever hold up?
Oh, by the way, did I ever tell you about Jackman?
[Illustration]
Among my friends I suppose he is by long odds the most
consequential--why, he has the strut of a Lord High Admiral in a comic
opera.
That is, when before the public.
Secretly, I believe he leads a sort of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde life, and
that the power behind the throne is in reality his wife, a little woman
with a will of her own.
This was proven to my mind the day I was out with him at his country
seat.
His coachman came up, looking red in the face, as though out of humor.
[Illustration]
"I think I must leave you, Mr. Jackman," said he.
"Why, what's wrong, Thomas?"
"I don't like to complain, sir, but really I can't stand the missus."
"Oh, is that it--she's too strict, eh?" laughed Jackman.
"Yes, sir, she keeps forgetting that I can throw up my job at any time,
and bosses me around just as if I was you, sir."
I thought it good manners to get behind the stable before I allowed
myself to laugh.
But Thomas went all the same.
Jackman told me Thomas had recently got religion and was about the
longest-winded petitioner at prayer he ever knew. But I had been South
among the darkies, and remembered one old fellow, at least, who could
give him points and still win out.
This was old Uncle Mose, who looked solemn enough for a funeral when I
asked him how things were going.
"I declar'," he said, "I got ter be mo' keerful in future--I sho' has!"
"What's the trouble now?" I asked.
[Illustration]
"Well, suh, I whirled in en prayed fer rain dese two hours en a half, en
bless de Lawd, dey come along a regular deluge, dat mighty nigh drown de
bes' mule I had. Prov'dence am so partial ter me, dat I'se got ter be
mo' keerful about overdoin' things, you see."
Uncle Mose had a son who, being a barber, puts on considerable style at
times.
I'd seen him look like a howling swell.
One day, down at the post office, while waiting for the mail to be
distributed, I saw this Adolphus saunter in.
Another young gamecock rubbed elbows with him.
"Hullo, 'Dolphus, you'se ain't been a wearin' dem fine patent-leather
shoes ob yours no mo'. What am de matter?" I heard him ask.
[Illustration]
"Kain't--de patent done run out," said Adolphus.
That fellow was quite good looking, and in fact I can remember quite
enjoying him after a fashion.