Bascom, who keeps the grocery, and who furnishes me with likker (wich I
hev to take for my hair) on the strength uv remittances I am to receeve,
insisted on hearin the resolution ef it wood further my gettin the Post
Orfis, and so did the benevolent gentleman with whom I board, and I
resoomed,--
"I kin see a good reason for incorporatin a resolooshun demandin a
change in the Post Orfis into the proceedins uv this meetin. There wood
be, my friends," sed I, "no yoose uv sendin him a naked resolution
demandin this change, becoz he reseeves hundreds and tens uv hundreds uv
applications for offices every day; in fact, they pile in at sich a rate
that he never opens the half uv them. The Dimocrisy, my brethren, are
alive on this subject. Ef they are to support the President, they want,
and will hev, the post orifises, for uv what use is it to support a man
and pay yoor own expenses? It is plain that the proceedins uv a post
offis meetin wood never reach him, but this, my brethren, goes up to him
from the PEOPLE, endorsin a supporter uv his policy, and ez it will be
the only one he hez reseeved, or will reseeve, he will read it and read
it through, and in the exultation he will feel at bein endorsed by
anybody, who doubts the result? The Post Orifis is mine."
Bascom, the grocery keeper, moved, excitedly, the adoption uv the
resolution. I suggested that I hed better read it, but he sed it made no
difference; he knew it wuz all rite. The benevolent and confidin
individooal I board with seconded the motion, and Deekin Pogram
supported it in a short speech, statin that he understood that it wuz
Brother Nasby's intention, ef he succeeded in procoorin the position, to
devote the first three and a half years' salary towards payin off the
small indebtedness he hed contracted sence he hed honored the town by
residin in it. To all uv wich I blandly smiled an assent, whereupon the
resolution wuz adopted yoonanimusly. Hevin lived here a little risin uv
a year, the vote wuz perfeckly yoonanimous.
My prospex is britenin.
PETROLEUM V. NASBY,
Lait Paster uv the Church uv the Noo Dispensashun.