Pro-slavery Democracy sticks to a man ez does the odor uv the gentle
skunk to clothes, and it is got rid uv only by the same means, to-wit,
buryin the victim thereof.
Androo started out to be a Moses, and he is one; but I think he's
changed his Israelites. I onst saw a woman skinnin live eels, and I
reproached her, saying,--
"Woman, why skinnest thou eels alive? Doth it not pain em?"
"Nary!" retorted she. "I've skinned em this way for going on to 20
years, and they're used to it."
Even so. The negroes hev bin in bondage so long that they're used to it,
and Androo feelin a call to continue in the Moses biznes, hez, I hope,
turned his attention to the Dimocrisy. It's us he's a-goin to lead up
out uv the Egypt uv wretchedness we've bin in for neerly five years;
it's US that's a-goin to quit brick making without straw, and go up into
the Canaan wich is runnin with the milk and honey uv public patronage.
We shel hev sum fites: there's Amakelitish post masters and Phillistine
collectors to displace, but with a second Jaxon at our hed what can we
fear?
I feel to-night like a young colt. To me it seems ez though my venerable
locks, wich hangs scantily about my temples, hed grown black agin, and
that my youth was returnin. Ef I hed any notion uv sooiside, them idea
is dismist. I'm young agin. Wat hez worked this change? you ask. It's
the proclamation declarin the war at an end, and withdrawin from the
Dimocratic States the odious hirelins uv the tyrant Linkin, and the doin
away uv that terrible marshal law. That's wat's done it for me. Now I
feel like sayin, with one uv old, "Mine eyes hev seed thy glory; let thy
servant depart in peace."
We hev bin dooly subjoogated some time, and a waitin for this. We wantid
it, and longed for it ez the hart does for the water course, and
considerably more, onless the hart wuz thirsty in the extreme. For now
we are in the Yoonyun agin; we are under the shadder uv that glorious
old flag wich protects all men ceptin niggers and ablishnists. The
nigger is left to be adjustid by us, who is to be governed by the laws
wich control labor and capital. Certenly he is--uv coarse. I saw two uv
my neighbors adjustin one last nite. They wuz doin it with a paddle,
wich wuz bored full uv holes. He didn't seem to enjoy it ez much ez they
did. By that proclamation our states are agin under their own control.
Let em go at wunst to work to destroy all the vestiges uv the crooel war
through wich they hev past. There aint no solgers now to interfere, for
the policy uv keepin soldiers in and among free people is abhorrent to
freedom and humanity. Go to work at wunst, and build up the broken walls
uv your Zion.
We must hev Peace and unanimity; and Peace cannot dwell among us onless
there's a oneness uv purpose and sentiment. To prokoor this is yoor fust
dooty. If there be among you them ez opposed yoo doorin yoor late
struggle for Rites, hist em. Their presence is irritatin, and kin not be
tolerated. Ablishunism is as abhorrent now as ever, and the sooner yoo
are rid uv it the better. It is safe to assume that every man who
opposed the lately deceased confederacy is a Ablishnist.
The next step, and the most important, is to tear down the nigger school
houses and churches wich hev bin built here and there, and kindly take
the nigger by the ear, and lead him back to his old quarters, wich is
his normal position. The Yankee school teachers sent here by Freedmen's
Aid Societies shood properly be hung for spreadin dissatisfaction and
spellin books among the niggers, but I wood advise mercy and
consiliation. Tar and featherin, with whippins, will perhaps do ez well,
and will go to show the world that our justice is tempered with charity;
that we kin be generous ez well ez just. Yoor Legislatures shood be
instantly called together, and proper laws for the government uv the
Freedmen should be passed. Slavery is abolisht, and the people must live
up to the requirements of the act in good faith. I protest agin any
violation uv good faith, but labor must be done, for the skripter
commands it, and our frail nature demands wat cant be got without it. We
don't like to do it, but shel skripter be violated? Not at all. The
nigger must do it hisself, not ez a slave, for slavery is abolished, but
ez a free man. Ethiopean citizens uv Amerikin descent (wich is
mulatters), and full-blooded blacks, and all hevin in the veins a taint
uv Afrikin blood, must be restrained gently, and for their own good, I
suggest laws ez follows:--
1. They must never leave the plantation onto wich they are, when this
act goes into effect, without a pass from the employer, under penalty uv
bein shot.
2. They shel hev the privilege uv suein everybody uv their own color, ef
they kin give white bail for costs.
3. They shel hev the full privilege uv bein sued the same ez white
folks.
4. They shel be competent ez witnesses in cases in wich they are not
interested, but their testimony is to go for nothin ef it is opposed by
the testimony uv a white man or another nigger.
5. No nigger shel be allowed to buy or lease real estate outside uv any
incorporated city, town, or village.
6. No nigger shel be allowed to buy or lease real estate within any
incorporated city, town, or village, except as hereinafter provided for,
to wit:--
He shel give notice uv his desires by publication for six consecutive
weeks in some noosepaper uv general circulation in sed village, for wich
publication he shel pay invariably in advance. He shel then give bonds,
in sich sums ez the mayor shel decide, that neither he, nor any uv his
ancestors, or descendants, or relations, will ever become public
charges, and will always behave themselves with doo humility, the
bondsmen to be white men and freeholders. Then the mayor shel cause a
election to be proclaimed, and if the free white citizens shel vote
"yea" unanimously, he shel be allowed to buy or lease real estate. If
there is a dissenting vote, then he shel be put onto the chain gang for
six months for his impudence in makin sich a request.
7. Their wages shel be sich ez they and the employers shel mutually
agree; but that the negroes may not become luxurious and effeminate,
wich two things is vices wich goes to sap the simplicity and strength uv
a people, the sum shel never exceed $5 per month, but not less than
enuff in all cases to buy him one soot uv close per annum, wich the
employer shel purchase hisself.
8. The master shell hev the privilege uv addin to this code sich other
rules and regulations for their proper government ez may strike him ez
being good for em from time to time.
These provisions sekure the nigger in all the rites wich kin reasonably
be asked for him, just elevated ez he is from slavery, and thrown upon
the world, ignorant of the dooties of his new position and status. He is
simple, and needs the guidin hand uv the stronger race.
My hart is too full to make further suggestions. Organized into a
tabloo, with the constitooshun in one hand (wich beloved instrument
kivers a great deal of ground), a scar-bangled spanner in the other, and
a tramplin on a bloo coat wich I stript orf uv a returned nigger solger
wich wuz sick, I exultinly exclaim, "The Union ez it is is ez good ez
the Union ez it wuz. 'Ror!"
PETROLEUM V. NASBY,
Lait Paster uv the Church uv the Noo Dispensashun.