Of course, feelin' as I did about my Uncle Samuel, it wouldn't have done
to not gone to the Government Buildin', where he makes his headquarters,
so to say.
Like the other palaces, this is so vast that it seemed as we stepped up
to it some like wadin' out into Lake Michigan to examine her.
We couldn't do it--we couldn't do justice to Michigan with one pair of
feet and eyes--no, indeed.
Wall, no more we couldn't do justice to these buildin's unless we laid
out to live as long as Methusleah did, and hang round here for a hundred
years or so.
We had to go by a lot of officers all dressed up in uniforms. But we
wuzn't afraid--we knew we hadn't done anything to make us afraid.
Josiah wuz considerable interested in the enormous display of rifles,
and all the machinery for makin' 'em, and showin' how and where the
destructive instruments used in war are made.
And then there wuz dummy cavalry horses, and men, and ponies, and
cattle, showin' the early means for transportation of the mails,
compared with the modern way of carryin' it on lightnin' coaches.
But it wuz a treat indeed to me to see the original papers writ by our
noble forefathers.
To be sure, they wuz considerable faded out, so that I couldn't read 'em
much of any; but it wuz a treat indeed to jest see the paper on which
the hands of them good old creeters had rested while they shaped the
Destinies of the New World.
They held the pen, but the Almighty held the hands, and guided them over
the paper.
When I see with my own two eyes, and my Josiah's eyes, which makes four
eyes of my own (for are we two not one? Yes, indeed, we are a good deal
of the time)--
Wall, when I see with these four eyes the very paper that Washington,
the Immortal Founder of His Country, had rested his own hand on--when I
see the very handwritin' of his right hand and the written thoughts of
hisen, which made it seem some like lookin' into the inside of that
revered and noble head, my feelin's riz up so that they wuz almost
beyend my control, and I had to lean back hard on the pillow of
megumness that I always carry with me to stiddy myself with.
I had to lean hard, or I should have been perfectly wobblin' and broke
up.
And then to see Jefferson's writin', and Hamilton's, and Benjamin
Franklin's--he who also discovered a New World, the mystic World that we
draw on with such a stiddy and increasin' demand for supplies of light,
and heat, and motion, and everything--
When I see the very writin' of that hand that had drawed down the
lightnin', and had hitched it to the car of commerce and progress--
Oh, what feelin's I felt, and how many of 'em--it wuz a sight.
And then I see the Proclamation of the President; and though I always
made a practice of skippin' 'em when I see 'em in the newspaper, somehow
they looked different to me here.
[Illustration: I see the Proclamation of the President.]
And then there wuz agreements with Foreign Powers, and some of them
Powers' own handwritin' photographed; and lots of treaties made by Uncle
Sam--some of 'em, especially them with the Injuns, I guess the least
said about the soonest mended, but the biggest heft on 'em I guess he
has kept--
Treaties of peace and alliance, pardon of Louisiana and Florida, Alaska,
etc., all in Uncle Sam's own handwritin'.
And then there wuz the arms of the United States--and hain't it a sight
how fur them arms reach out north and south, east and west--protectin'
and fosterin' arms a good deal of the time they are, and then how strong
they can hit when they feel like it!
And then there wuz the big seal of the United States.
I had read a description of it to Josiah that mornin', and had explained
it all out to him--all about the Argant, and Jules, and the breast of
the American Eagle displayed proper.
I sez, "That means that it is proper for a bird to display its breast in
public places; and," sez I, "though it don't speak right out, it
probable means to gin a strong hint to fashionable wimmen.
"And then," says I, "it holds in its dexter talons a olive branch. That
means that it is so dextrous in wavin' that branch round and gittin'
holt of what it wants.
"And holdin' in its sinister talons a bunch of arrows." Sez I, "That
means that in war it is so awful sinister, and lets them arrows fly
onto its enemies where they are needed most."
And then the Eagle holds in its beak a strip of paper with "E. Pluribus
Unum" on it, which means "One formed out of many."
And how many countries will wheel into the procession and become part of
the great one as the centuries go on? I don't believe Uncle Sam has the
least idee; I know I hain't, nor Josiah.
For on the back part is a pyramiad unfinished; no knowin' how many
bricks will yet be laid on top of that pyramiad, or how high it will
shoot up into the heavens.
And then there is a big eye surrounded with a Glory.
The eye of the United States most likely, and I spozed mebby it meant
big I and little You.
I didn't know exactly what it did mean till I catched sight of the words
above, meanin' "The eye of Providence is favorable to our undertakin's."
And then I felt better, and hoped it wuz so.
Down under the pyramiad is words meanin' "A New Order of Centuries."
That riz me up still more, for I knew it wuz true. Yes; when Columbus
pinted the prow of that caraval of hisen towards the New World, the
water broke on each side of it, a-washin' back towards the Old World
the decayin' creeds and orders of the Old World, and the ripples that
danced ahead on't, clear acrost the Atlantic, wuz a-carryin' new laws,
new governments; and hoverin' over the prow as it swept on in the
darkness and the dawn, onseen to any eye, not even the prophetic eye of
the discoverer, hovered the great angels Liberty, Equal Rights, and
Human Brotherhood.
For them angels could see further than we can; they could see clear
ahead when the iron chains should fall from black wrists, and as mighty
chains, though wrought with gold, mebby, should fall from the delicate
white wrists of mother, and wife, and sister.
It could see that this indeed wuz "A New Order of Centuries."
And then we see--kep jest as careful as though it wuz pure gold and
diamonds--the petition of the Colonies to the King of England. And I'll
bet England has been sorry enuff to think it didn't hear to 'em, and act
a little more lenient to 'em.
And then there wuz the old Constitution of the United States, in the
very handwritin' of its immortal framer.
And then there wuz the Declaration of Independence.
Good, likely old document as ever wuz made. I know I hain't felt
towards it as I'd ort to time and agin, when I've hearn it read Fourth
of Julys by a long-winded orator, in muggy and sultry dog-days in
Jonesville.
But though, as I ort to own up, I've turned my back onto it at sech
times, I've allers respected it deeply, and it wuz indeed a treat to see
it now--
The very paper, writ in the darkness of oncertainty, and hopelessness,
and despair of our forefathers, and which them four old fathers wuz
willin' to seal with their blood.
Oh, if that piece of yeller, faded old paper could jest speak out and
tell what emotions wuz a-rackin' the hearts, and what wild dreams and
despairs wuz a-hantin' the brains of the ones that bent over it in that
dark day, 1776--
Why, the World's Fair would be thrilled to its inmost depths; Chicago
would tremble from its ground floor up to its 20th and 30th story, and
Josiah and I would be perfectly browbeat and stunted.
But it wuzn't to be; only the old yeller paper remained writ over with
them immortal words. Their wild emotions, their dreams, their despairs,
and their raptures have passed away, bloomin' out agin in the nation's
glory and grandeur.
And then we see amongst the treaties with foreign powers friendship
tokens from semi-barbarous tribes and nations--
Poor little gifts that didn't always buy friendship and justice, and I'd
told Uncle Sam so right to his old face if I'd've met him there as I wuz
a-lookin' at 'em. I'd a done it if he had turned me right out of the
Government Buildin' the next minit.
And then there wuz the first cannon ever brought to America, and the
first church-bell ever rung in America, and picters of every place that
Columbus ever had anything to do with, and a hull set of photographs of
hisen. Good creeter! it is a shame and a disgrace that there is so many
on 'em, and all lookin' so different--as different as Josiah and Queen
Elizabeth.
And then there wuz everything relatin' to conquest--conquest of Mexico
and etc., and everything about the food and occupations of men--all
sorts of food, savage and civilized, and all sorts of occupations, from
makin' molasses to gatherin' tea.
And there wuz the most perfect collection of coins and medals ever
made--7500 coins and 2300 medals. There wuz some kinder stern-lookin'
guards a-watchin' over these, but they had no need to be afraid; I
wouldn't have meddled with one of 'em no more'n I'd've torn out the Book
of Job out of the family Bible.
[Illustration: Stern-lookin' guards a-watchin' over the coins.]
There wuz everything under the sun that could be seen in South America,
from a mule to a orchid.
And in the centre of the buildin' wuz a section of the great Sequois
tree from California. The tree is twenty-five feet in diameter, and has
been hollowed out, and a stairway built up inside of it. Stairs inside
of a tree! Good land!
But what is the use, I have only waded out a few steps. The deep lake
lays before us.
I hain't gin much idee of all there is to see in that buildin', and I
hain't in any on 'em.
You have got to swim out for yourself, and then you may have some idee
of the vastness on't. But you can't describe 'em, I don't
believe--nobody can't.
In front of that buildin' we see one of the two largest guns ever made
in the world.
It wuz made in Essen, Germany. It weighs two hundred and seventy
thousand pounds, and is forty-seven feet long.
It will hit anything sixteen miles off, and with perfect accuracy and
effect at a distance of twelve miles.
Good land! further than from Zoar to Shackville.
It costs one thousand two hundred and fifty dollars to discharge it
once. As Josiah looked at it, sez he--
"Oh, how I do wish I had sech a gun! How I could rake off the crows with
it in plantin' time! Why," sez he, "by shootin' it off once or twice I
could clear the hull country of 'em from Jonesville to Loontown."
"Yes," sez I; "and have you got a thousand dollars to pay for every
batch of crows you kill, besides damages--heavy damages--for killin'
human bein's, and horses, and cows, and sech?"
And he gin in that it wouldn't be feasible to own one. And I sez, "I
wouldn't have one on the premises if Mr. Krupp should give me one."
So we wended onwards.
Wall, about the most interestin' and surprisin' hours I enjoyed at
Columbuses doin's wuz to the stately house set apart for that great
wizard of the 19th century--Electricity.
As wuz befittin', most the first thing that our eyes fell on wuz a big,
noble statute of Benjamin Franklin. He stands with his kite in his hand,
a-lookin' up with a rapt look as if waitin' for instructions from on
high.
He seemed to be guardin' the entrance to this temple, and he looked as
if he wuz glad to be there, and I truly wuz glad to have him there.
For he ort to be put side by side with Christopher Columbus. Both sailed
out on the onknown, both discovered a new world.
Columbuses world we have got the lay on now considerable, and we have
mapped it out and counted the inhabitants.
But who--who shall map out this vast realm that Benjamin F. discovered?
We stand jest by the sea-shore. We have jest landed from our boats. The
onbroken forest lays before us, and beyend is deep valleys, and high,
sun-kissed mountains, and rushin' rivers.
A few trees have been felled by Morse, Edison, Field and others, so that
we can git glimpses into the forest depths, but not enough to even give
us a glimpse of the mountains or the seas. The realm as a whole is
onexplored; nobody knows or can dream of the grandeur and glory that
awaits the advance guard that shall march in and take the country.
This beautiful house built in its honor is 690 feet long and 345 feet
wide.
The main entrance, which is in the south side, has a magnificently
decorated open vestibule covered by a half dome, capable of the most
brilliant illumination.
Indeed, you can judge whether this buildin' has advantages for bein' lit
up, when I tell you that it has 20,000 incandescent and 3000 ark lights.
I hearn a bystander a-tellin' this, and sez Josiah, "I can't imagine
what a ark light is--Noah couldn't had a light so bright as that is.
But," he sez, "mebby the light shines out as big as the ark did over the
big water."
And I spoze mebby that is it.
Why, they say the big light on top of the buildin'--the biggest in the
world--why, they do say that that throws such a big light way off--way
off over Lake Michigan, that the very white fishes think it is mornin',
and git up and go to doin' up their mornin's work.
There wuz everything in the buildin' that has been hearn on up to the
present time in connection with electricity--everything that we know
about, that that Magician uses to show off his magic powers, from a
search-light of 60,000 candle power down to a engine and dynamo
combined, that can be packed in a box no bigger than a pea.
Josiah looked at the immense display with a wise eye, and pretended to
understand all about it, and he even went to explainin' it to me.
But I sez, "You needn't tire yourself, Josiah Allen; I should know jest
as much after you got through as I do now.
"And," sez I, "you can explain to me jest as well how the hoe and the
planter cause the seed to spring up in the loosened ground. You put the
seed in the ground, Josiah Allen, and the hoe loosens the soil round it.
You may assist the plant some, but there is a secret back of it all,
Josiah Allen, that you can't explain to me.
"No, nor Edison couldn't, nor Benjamin Franklin himself couldn't with
his kite."
Sez Josiah, "I could explain it all out to you if you would listen--all
about my winter rye, and all about electricity."
But agin I sez considerately, "Don't tire yourself, Josiah Allen; it is
a pretty hot day, and you hain't over and above well to-day."
He didn't like it at all; he wanted to talk about electric currents to
me, and magnets, and dynamos, but I wouldn't listen to it. I felt that
we wuz in the palace of the Great Enchanter, the King of Wonders of the
19th century, and I knew that orr and silence wuz befittin' mantillys to
wrop ourselves in as we entered his court, and stood in his imperial
presence. And I told Josiah so.
And he sez, "You won't catch me with a mantilly on."
He is dretful fraid to wear wimmen's clothes. I can't git a apron or a
sun-bunnet on him in churnin' time or berryin' in dog-days--he is sot.
But I sez, "Josiah, I spoke in metafor."
And he sez, "I would ruther you would use pantaloons and vests, if you
are a-goin' to allegore about me."
But to resoom. France, England, Germany, all have wonderful exhibits,
and as for our own country, there wuz no end seemin'ly to the marvellous
sight.
Why, to give you a idee of the size and splendor of 'em, one electrical
company alone spent 350,000 dollars on its exhibit.
Among the German exhibits wuz a wonderful search-light--jest as
searchin' as any light ever could be--it wuz sunthin' like the day of
judgment in lightin' up and showin' forth.
One of the strange things long to be remembered wuz to set down alone
beside of a big horn in Chicago and hear a melodious orkestry in New
York, hundreds and hundreds of miles away, a-discoursin' the sweetest
melody.
Wall, what took up Josiah's mind most of anything wuz a house all fitted
up from basement to attic with electricity.
You come home (say you come in the evenin' and bring company with you);
you press a button at the door, the door opens; touch another button,
and the hall will be all lighted up, and so with every other room in the
house. Some of these lights will be rosettes of light let into the wall,
and some on 'em lamps behind white, and rose-tinted, and amber
porcelain.
When you go upstairs to put on another coat, you touch a button, the
electric elevator takes you to your room; and when you open the closet
door, that lights the lamp in the closet; when you have found your coat
and vest, shuttin' the door puts the light out.
In the mean time, your visitors down below are entertained by a
selection from operatic or sacred music or comic songs from a phonograph
on the parlor table. Or if they want to hear Gladstone debate, or
Chauncey Depew joke, or Ingersoll lecture, or no matter what their
tastes are, they can be gratified. The phonograph don't care; it will
bring to 'em anything they call for.
Then, when they have got ready for dinner, a button is touched; the
dinner comes down from the kitchen in the attic, where it wuz all cooked
by electricity, baked, roasted, or biled, whatever it is.
When the vittles are put on the table, they are kept warm by electric
warmin' furnaces.
They start up a rousin' fire in the open fireplace by pressin' a button,
and if they git kinder warm, electric fans cool the air agin, though
there hain't much chance of gittin' too warm, for electric thermostats
regulate the atmosphere. But in the summer the fans come handy.
When dinner is over the dishes mount upstairs agin, and are washed by a
electric automatic dish washer, and dried by a electric dish drier.
The ice for dinner is made by a miniature ammonia ice plant, which keeps
the hull house cool in hot days and nights.
On washin' days the woman of the house throws the dirty clothes and a
piece of soap into a tub, and electricity heats the water, rubs and
cleanses the clothes, shoves 'em along and rings 'em through an electric
ringer, and dries 'em in a electric dryin' oven, and then irons 'em by
an electric ironin' machine.
If the female of the house wants to sew a little, she don't have to wear
out her own vital powers a-runnin' that sewin' machine--no; electricity
jest runs it for her smooth as a dollar.
If she wants to sweep her floor, does she have to wear out her own
elbows? No, indeed; electricity jest sweeps it for her clean as a pin.
Oh, what a house! what a house!
Josiah of course wuz rampant with idees of havin' our house run jest
like it.
He thought mebby he could run it by horse power or by wind.
"But," I sez, "I guess the old mair has enough on her hands without
washin' dishes and cookin'."
He see it wuzn't feasible.
"But," sez he, "I believe I could run it by wind. Don't you know what
wind storms we have in Jonesville?"
And I sez, "You won't catch me a-sewin' by it, a-blowin' me away one
minute, and then stoppin' stun-still the next;" and sez I, "How could we
be elevated by it? blow us half way upstairs, and then go down, and drop
us. We shouldn't live through it a week, even if you could git the
machinery a-runnin'."
"Wall," sez he, with a wise, shrewd look, "as fur as the elevator is
concerned, I believe I could fix that on a endless chain--keep it
a-runnin' all the time, sunthin' like perpetual motion."
"How could we git on it?" sez I coldly.
"Catch on," sez he; "it would be worth everything to both on us to make
us spry and limber-jinted."
"Oh, shaw!" sez I; "your idees are luny--luny as can be; it has got to
go by electricity."
"Wall," sez he, "I never see any sharper lightnin' than we have to
Jonesville. I believe I could git the machinery all rigged up, and catch
lightnin' enough to run it. I mean to try, anyway."
"Wall," sez I, "I guess that you won't want to be elevated by lightnin'
more'n once; I guess that that would be pretty apt to end your
experiments."
"Oh, wall," sez he, "break it up! I never in my hull life tried to do
sunthin' remarkable and noteworthy but what you put a drag on to me."
Sez I, "I have saved your life, Josiah Allen, time and agin, to say
nothin' of my own."
He wuz mad, but I drawed his attention off onto a ocean cable, and asked
him to explain it to me how the news went; and he wuz happy once
more--happier than I wuz by fur. I wuz wretched, and had got myself into
a job of weariness onspeakable and confusion, etc., and so forth.
But to such immense sacrifices will a woman's love lead her.
[Illustration: He wuz happy once more.]
I could not brook his dallyin' with lightnin' at his age or to have it
brung into our house in a raw state.
Josiah wuz dretful impressed with a big post completely covered with
red, white, and blue globes, and all other colors, and at the top it
branched out into four posts, extendin' towards the corners of the
ceilin'.
A spark of electricity starts at the base of the post, and steadily
works its way up. It lights the red, then the white, and then the blue,
and etc., and then it goes on and lights the four branches until it gits
to the end, and then it lights up a big ball.
And then it goes back to the beginnin' agin, and so it goes on--flash!
flash! flash! sparkle! sparkle! sparkle! in glowin' colors. It is a
sight to see it.
But what impressed me beyend anything wuz what seemed a mighty onseen
hand a-risin' up out of Nowhere, and a-holdin' a pencil, and a-writin'
on the wall in letters of flame. And then that same onseen hand will
wipe out what has been writ, and write sunthin' else. Why, it all makes
folks feel a good deal like Belschazarses, only more riz up like. He
felt guilty as a dog, which must hendered his lofty emotions from
playin' free; but folks that see this awsome and magestick spectacle
don't have nothin' to drag down their soarin' emotions.
Why, I'll bet that I had more emotions durin' that sight than Belschazar
had when he see his writin' on the wall, only different. I guess that
mine wuz more like Daniel's, though I can't tell, havin' never talked
it over with Daniel. But to resoom.
When we left the Electrical Buildin', it wuz so nigh at hand we jest
stepped acrost into the Hall of Mines and Minin'. And it wuz dretful
curious, wuzn't it?
Here we two wuz on the surface of the Earth, and we had jest been
a-studyin' in a entranced way the workin's of a mighty sperit, who wuz,
in the first place, brung down from _above_ the Earth, and now, lo and
behold! we wuz on our way to see what wuz below the Earth.
Curious and coincidin', very.
Wall, as I walked acrost them few steps I thought of a good many things.
One thing I thought on wuz the path I wuz a-walkin' on.
I d'no as I've mentioned it before, but them foot-paths at the World's
Fair are as worthy of attention as anything as there is there.
I'll bet Columbus would have been glad to had such paths to walk on when
he wuz foot-sore, and tired out.
They are made of a compound of granite and cement, and are as smooth as
a board, and as durable as adamant.
What a boon sech roads would be in the Spring and the Fall! How it would
lessen profanity, and broken wagons, and broken-backed horses! Folks
say that they will be used throughout the World. Jonesville waits for it
with longin'.
Its name is Medusaline. I wuz real glad it had such a pretty name--it
deserves it.
Josiah wuz dretful took with the name. He said that he wuz a-goin' to
name his nephew's twins Maryline and Medusaline. But mebby he'll forgit
it.
Wall, the Hall of Mines and Minin' is a immense, gorgeous palace, jest
as all the rest on 'em be, and, like 'em all, it has more'n enough
orniments, and domes, and banners, and so forth to make it comfortable.
As we advanced up the magestick portal the figgers of miners, with
hammers and pans in their hands, seemed to welcome us, and tell us what
they had to do with the big show inside; they seemed to be a-sayin' with
their still lips, "If it hadn't been for us--for the great Army of
Labor, this show would have been a pretty slim one." Yes; the great
vanguard of Labor leads the van, and cuts down the trees, so's that Old
Civilization and Progress can walk along, and swing their arms, and
spread themselves, as they have a way of doin'.
Wall, to anybody that loves to look on every side of a idee from top to
bottom, and had had sech experiences on top of the Earth as I had, it
wuz a great treat to see what wuz inside of the Old World.
And wuzn't it a sight! Sech heaps of glitterin' golden and silver ore,
sech slabs of shinin' marble, and sech precious stuns I never expect to
see agin till I git where the gates are Pearl and the streets paved with
Pure Gold.
On the west side are the exhibits from Foreign mineral-producin'
countries, beginnin' with the Central and South American States.
These Mines, worked way back before history begins, that furnished the
gold that Cortez loaded his returnin' galleons with, still keep right on
a-yieldin' their rich treasures, provin' that there is no end to 'em, as
you may say.
On the opposite side of the avenue are the treasures of our own country.
Each State and Territory has tried, seemin'ly, to make the richest and
most dazzlin' exhibition.
Here New England shows in a way that can't be disputed her solid granite
and marble foundation--vast and beautiful and glossy exhibit.
Then the immense coal exhibit of the great States of the Appalachian
range, and the Ohio valley, shows forth its wealth in shinin' black
masses.
Pyramiads and arches of glitterin' iron and steel, statutes in brass,
bronze, and copper, supported on pedestals of elaborate wrought metals.
Then there are pillows and statutes and pyramiads of salt so blindin'ly
brilliant that you almost have to shet your eyes when you look at 'em.
The South shows up her mineral fertilizers, and paints, and her precious
ores. The gold of North Carolina, the phosphates of Florida, and the
iron ores of Alabama are here in plain sight.
California, Montana, Colorado, Idaho, shows a gorgeous exhibit of gold
and other precious ores.
In the large porch in the centre of the buildin' is a high tower, made
at the bottom of all sorts of minerals, and trimmed off handsome and
appropriate; and the tower that shoots up from this foundation is made
of all sorts of machines employed in minin'.
From this centre aisles and avenues branch off in every direction.
Great Britain and Germany and our own greatest mineral States are here
facin' this centre.
And you can walk down every avenue, and have your eyes most blinded by
the splendor of the exhibit.
You can see jest how they extract the gold from the ore from the minute
it is dug out of the earth till it is wrought into the shinin' dollar
or beautiful orniment.
You can see how Electricity, the Wizard, plays his part here, as
everywhere else, in drivin' drills, and workin' huge minin' pumps and
hoistin' appliances.
You can see how this Wizard gives the signals, fires the blast, and does
everything he is told to do, and does it better than anybody else could,
and easier.
Then there are figgers in groups representin' the old laborious way of
minin', old crushin' mortars and mills of ancient Mexico, propelled by
mules, compared with the automatic tramways and hydraulic transmission
of coal by a liquid medium, and all the other swift and modern ways.
South Africa shows off her diamond fields. The machinery picks up the
blue clay right before our eyes, the native Kaffirs pick out the
precious pebbles and sort 'em out, and a diamond-cutter right here, with
his chisel and wheel, cuts and polishes 'em till they are turned out a
flashin' gem to adorn a queen.
Then, if you git tired of roamin' round on the first floor, you can go
up into the broad gallery and look down in the vast halls and avenues,
full of dazzle and glitter.
Dretful interestin' them wuz to look at--dretful.
And up here are the offices of Geoligists, Minin' Engineers, and
Scientists, and a big library under charge of a librarian.
And here, too, is a laboratory where experiments are a-bein' conducted
all the time.
Wall, it wuz a sight--a sight what we see there.
But the thing that impressed me the most in the hull buildin', and I
thought on't all the time I wuz there, and thought on't goin' home, and
waked up and thought on't--
It wuz a statute of woman named Justice--a female big as life, made of
solid silver from her head to her heels, and a-standin' on a gold
world--
Jest as they do in the streets of the New Jerusalem. Oh, my heart, think
on't!
Yes, it tickled me to a extraordinary degree, for sech a thing must mean
sunthin'! The world borne on the outspread wings of an eagle is under
her feet, and under that is a foundation of solid gold.
First, the riches of the earth to the bottom; then the eagle Ambition,
and wavin' wings of power and conquest, carryin' the hull round world,
and then, above 'em all, Woman.
Yes, Justice in the form of woman stood jest where she ort to
stand--right on top of the world.
Justice and Woman has too long been crumpled down, and trod on. But she
has got on top now, and I believe will stay there for some time.
She holds a septer in her right hand, and in her left a pair of scales.
She holds her scales evenly balanced--that is jest as it ort to be; they
have always tipped up on the side of man (which has been the side of
Might).
But now they are held even, and _Right_ will determine how the notches
stand, not Might.
I don't believe that the Nation would make a statute of woman out of
solid silver, and stand it on top of the world, if it didn't lay out to
give her sect a little mite of what she symbolizes.
They hain't a-goin' to make a silver woman and call it Justice, if they
lay out to keep their idee of wimmen in the future, as they have in the
past, the holler pewter image stuffed full of all sorts of injustices,
and meannesses, and downtroddenness.
They hain't a-goin' to stand the figger of woman and Justice on top of
the world, and then let woman herself grope along in the deepest and
darkest swamps and morasses of injustice and oppression, taxed without
representation, condemned and hung by laws they have no voice in makin'.
Goin' on in the future as in the past--bringin' children into the world,
dearer to 'em than their heart's blood, and then have their hearts torn
out of 'em to see these children go to ruin before 'em through the
foolishness and wickedness of laws they have no power to prevent--nay,
if they are rich, to see their loved ones helped to their doom by their
own wealth; taxed to extend and perpetuate these means of death and
Hell, and they with their hands bound by the chains of Slavery and old
Custom.
But things are a-goin' to be different. I see it plain. And I looked on
that figger with big emotions in my heart, and my umbrell in my hand.
I knew the Nation wuzn't a-goin' to depicter woman with the hull earth
at her feet, and then deny her the rights of the poorest dog that walks
that globe. No; that would be makin' too light of her, and makin'
perfect fools of themselves.
They wouldn't of their own accord put a septer in her hand, if they laid
out to keep her where she is now--under the rule of the lowest criminal
landed on our shores, and beneath niggers, and Injuns, and a-settin' on
the same bench in a even row with idiots, lunaticks, and criminals.
No; I think better of 'em; they are a-goin' to carry out the idee of
that silver image in the gold of practical justice, I believe.
If I hadn't thought so, I would a-histed up my umbrell and hit that
septer of hern, and knocked that globe out from under her feet.
And them four mountaineers, a-guardin' her with rifles in their hands,
might have led me off to prison for it if they had wanted too--I would a
done it anyway.
But, as I sez, I hope for better things, and what give me the most
courage of anything about it wuz that Justice had got her bandages off.
That is jest what I have wanted her to do for a long time. I had advised
Justice jest as if she had been my own Mother-in-law. I had argued with
her time and agin to take that bandage offen her eyes.
And when I see that she had took my advice, and meditated on what
happiness and freedom wuz ahead for my sect, and realized plain that it
wuz probable all my doin's--why, the proud and happy emotions that
swelled my breast most broke off four buttons offen my bask waist. And
onbeknown to me I carried myself in that proud and stately way that
Josiah asked me anxiously--
"If I had got a crick in my back?"
I told him, "No, I hadn't got any crick, but I had proud and lofty
emotions on the inside of my soul that no man could give or take away."
"Wall," sez he, "you walked considerable like our old peacock when she
wants to show off."
I pitied him for his short-sightedness, but unconsciously I did, I dare
presoom to say, onbend a little in my proud gait.
And we proceeded onwards.
Wall, on our way home we heard a bystander a-speakin' about the
beautiful vistas, and the other one replied, and said how wonderful and
beautiful he considered 'em.
And Josiah sez to me, "Where be them 'Vistas,' anyway? I've hearn more
talk about 'em than a little--do they keep 'em in cases, or be they
rolled up in rolls? I want to see 'em, anyway," and he turned and went
to go into one of the big palaces. Sez he, "He seemed to be a-pintin'
this way; we must have missed 'em the day we wuz here."
But I took holt of his arm and drawed him back, and I pinted down the
long, beautiful distance, the glorious view bounded by the snowy
sculptured heights of palaces--long, green, flower-gemmed avenues of
beauty--with the blue waters a-shinin' calm behind towerin' statutes of
marvellous conception, and sez I--
"Behold a vista!"
[Illustration: "Behold a vista!"]
He put on his specs and looked clost, and sez he--
"I don't see nothin' out of the common."
"No," sez I; "spiritual things are spiritually discerned. The wind
bloweth where it listeth," sez I.
"Oh, bring up the Bible," sez he; "there is a time for all things."
He acted real pudgiky.
But I at last got him to understand what a vista wuz, and I told him
that Mr. Burnham and the others who had charge of buildin' this
marvellous city took no end of pains to design these marvellous
picters--more lovely than wuz ever painted on canvas sence the world
begun.
And sez I, as I looked round me once more, some as Moses did on Pisga's
height, "and viewed the landscape o'er"--
Sez I, "I _must_ thank the head one here--I _must_ thank
Director-General Davis in my own name, and in the name of Jonesville,
and the world, for gittin' up this incomparable spectacle, the like of
which will never be seen agin by livin' eyes."
And if you'll believe it, I hadn't hardly finished speakin' when who
should come towards us but General Davis himself. I knew him in a
minute, for his picter had been printed in papers as many as two or
three times since the Fair begun--it wuz a real good-lookin' face,
anyway, in a paper or out of it.
And I gathered up the folds of my cotton umbrell more gracefully in my
left hand, and kinder shook out the drapery of my alpaca skirt, and wuz
jest advancin' to accost him, when Josiah laid holt of my arm and
whispered in a sharp axent--
"I won't have it. You hain't a-goin' to stop and visit with that man."
I faced him with dignity and with some madness in my liniment, and sez
I, "Why?"
Sez he, "Do you ask why?"
"Yes," sez I, with that same noble, riz-up look on my eyebrow--"why?"
"Wall," sez he, a-lookin' kinder meachin', "I want sunthin' to eat, and
you'd probable talk a hour with him by the way you've praised up his
doin's here."
By this time General Davis wuz fur away.
And I sithed, when I thought on't, what he'd lost by not receivin' my
eloquent and heartfelt thanks, and what I'd lost in not givin' 'em.
I d'no as Josiah was jealous--mebby he wuzn't. But General Davis is
considerable handsome, and Josiah can't bear to have me praise up any
man, livin' or dead. Sometimes I have almost mistrusted that he didn't
like to have me praise up St. Paul too much, or David, or Job--or he
don't seem to care so much about Job. But, as I say, mebby it wuzn't
jealousy--his appetite is good; mebby it was hunger.