Nutshell! Two or three courtly words take in the whole Clergy; And what is
wanting in Wit, is made up in Abuse, and that's as well. This is an
admirable _Harvest Catch_, and the poor Tith-stealers stand highly
indebted. They might have been tired with Cheating in _Prose_, had not they
not been thus seasonably releiv'd in Doggrell! But now there is Musick in
playing the Knave. A Countryman now may fill his Barn, and humour his ill
Manners, and sing his Conscience asleep, and all under one. I dont question
but these _four Lines_ steal many a Pound in the year. Whether the _Muse_
stands indictable or not, the Law must determine: But after all, I must say
the Design is notably laid. For Place and Person, for Relish and
Convenience; nothing could have been better. The Method is very short,
clear, and Practicable. 'Tis a fine portable Infection, and costs no more
Carriage than the Plague.
Well! the Clergy must be contented: It might possibly have been worse for
them if they had been in his favour: For he has sometimes a very unlucky
way of showing his Kindness. He commends the _Earl of Leicester for
considering the Friend, more than the Cause_;[371] that is, for his
Partiality; The Marquess of _Halifax_ for _quitting the Helm, at the
approach of a Storm_;[372] As if Pilots were made only for fair Weather.
'Tis Presum'd these Noble Persons are unconcern'd in this Character.
However the _Poet_ has shown his skill in Panegyrick, and 'tis only for
that I mention it. He commends _Atticus_ for his Trimming, and _Tally_ for
his Cowardize, and speaks meanly of the Bravery of _Cato_.[373] Afterwards
he professes his Zeal for the Publick welfare, and is pleas'd to _see the
Nation so well secur'd from Foreign Attempts_ &c.[374] However he is in
some pain about the Coming of the _Gauls_; 'Tis possible for fear they
should invade the _Muses_, and carry the _Opera's_ into Captivity, and
deprive us of _the Ornaments of Peace_.
And now He has serv'd his Friends, he comes in the last place like a modest
Man, to commend Himself. He tells us there were a great many _Beauties_ in
the Original Draught of this _Play_. But it seems Time has since tarnish'd
their Complexion. And He gives _Heroick_ Reasons for their not appearing.
To speak Truth, (all Politicks apart,) there are strange Flights of Honour,
and Consistencies of Pretention in this Dedication! But I shall forbear the
Blazon of the _Atcheivment_, for fear I should commend as unluckily as
Himself.
SECT. II.
_Remarks upon Don Quixot, &c._
Mr. _Durfey_ being somewhat particular in his Genius and Civilities, I
shall consider him in a word or two by himself. This Poet writes from the
_Romance_ of an ingenious Author: By this means his Sense, and _Characters_
are cut out to his Hand. He has wisely planted himself upon the shoulders
of a _Giant_; but whether his Discoveries answer the advantage of his
standing, the Reader must judge.
What I have to object against Mr. _Durfey_ shall most of it be ranged under
these three Heads.
I. _His Profaness with respect to Religion and the_ Holy Scriptures.
II. _His Abuse of the Clergy._
III. _His want of Modesty and Regard to the Audience._
I. _His Profaness, &c._
And here my first Instance shall be in a bold _Song_ against Providence.
_Providence that formed the Fair
In such a charming Skin,
Their Outside made his only care,
And never look'd within._[375]
Here the _Poet_ tells you Providence makes Mankind by halves, huddles up
the Soul, and takes the least care of the better Moyety. This is direct
blaspheming the Creation, and a Satir upon God Almighty. His next advance
is to droll upon the Resurrection.
_Sleep and indulge thy self with Rest,
Nor dream thou e're shalt rise again._[376]
His Third Song makes a jest of the _Fall_, rails upon _Adam_ and _Eve_, and
burlesques the Conduct of _God Almighty_ for not making Mankind over again.
_When the World first knew Creation,[377]
A Rogue was a Top-Profession,
When there was no more in all Nature but Four,
There were two of them in Transgression.
He that first to mend the Matter,
Made Laws to bind our Nature,
Should have found a way,
To make Wills obey,
And have Modell'd new the Creature_.
In this and the following page, the _Redemption_ of the World is treated
with the same respect with the _Creation_. The word _Redeemer_, which among
Christians is appropriated to our Blessed Saviour, and like the Jewish
Tetragrammaton peculiarly reserv'd to the Deity; This adorable Name
(_Redeemer and Dear Redeemer_,) is applyed to the ridiculous Don _Quixote_.
These Insolencies are too big for the Correction of a Pen, and therefore I
shall leave them. After this horrible abuse of the Works, and Attributes of
God, he goes on to make sport with his Vengeance. He makes the Torments of
Hell a very Comical Entertainment: As if they were only Flames in Painting,
and Terrors in _Romance_. The _Stygian Frogs_ in _Aristophanes_ are not
represented with more Levity, and Drolling. That the _Reader_ may see I do
him no wrong, I shall quote the places which is the main Reason why I have
transcrib'd the rest of his Profaness.
_Appear ye fat Feinds that in Limbo do groan,
That were when in Flesh the same souls with his own:
You that always in Lucifers Kitchin reside,
'Mongst Sea-coal and Kettles, and Grease newly try'd:
That pamper'd each day with a Garbidge of Souls,
Broil Rashers of Fools for a Breakfast on Coals._
In the Epilogue you have the History of _Balaam_'s Ass exposed, and the
Beast brought upon the _Stage_ to laugh at the Miracle the better;
_And as 'tis said a parlous Ass once spoke,
When Crab-tree Cudgel did his rage provoke.
So if you are not civil,----I fear
He'el speak again.----_
In the second _Part_ the Devil is brought upon the _Stage_.[378] He cries
as _he hopes to be Saved_. And _Sancho warrants him a good Christian_.
Truly I think he may have more of Christianity in him than the Poet. For he
trembles at that God, with whom the other makes Diversion.
I shall omit the mention of several outrages of this Kind, besides his deep
mouth'd swearing, which is frequent, and pass on to the Second Head, which
is His Abuse of the Clergy. And since Reveal'd Religion has been thus
horribly treated, 'tis no Wonder if the _Ministers_ of it have the same
Usage.
And here we are likely to meet with some passages extraordinary enough. For
to give Mr. _Durfey_ his due, when he meddles with Church men he lays about
him like a Knight Errant: Here his Wit and his Malice, are generally in
extreams, tho' not of the same Kind. To begin. He makes the Curate _Perez_
assist at the ridiculous Ceremony of _Don Quixots_ Knighting.[379]
Afterwards Squire _Sancho_ confessing his mistake to _Quixote_, tells him,
_Ah consider dear Sir no man is born wise_. And what if he was born wise?
He may be _Bred_ a Fool, if he has not a care. But how does he prove this
Memorable Sentence? Because a _Bishop is no more than another man without
Grace and Good Breeding_. I must needs say if the _Poet_ had any share of
either of these Qualities, he would be less bold with his Superiors; and
not give his Clowns the Liberty to droll thus heavily upon a solemn
_Character_. This _Sancho_ Mr. _Durfey_ takes care to inform us is _a dry
shrewd Country Fellow_, The reason of this Character is for the strength of
it somewhat surprising.[380] 'Tis because _he blunders out Proverbs upon
all Occasions, tho' never so far from the purpose_. Now if blundring and
talking nothing to the purpose, is an argument of _Shrewdness_; some
Peoples _Plays_ are very shrewd Performances. To proceed. _Sancho_
complains of his being married, because it hindred him from better offers.
_Perez_ the Curate is sorry for this Misfortune. _For as I remember_ says
he _'twas my luck to give_ Teresa _and you the Blessing_. To this _Sancho_
replies. _A Plague on your Blessing! I perceive I shall have reason to wish
you hang'd for your Blessing----Good finisher of Fornication, good
Conjunction Copulative._[381] For this irreverence and Profaness _Perez_
threatens him with Excommunication. _Sancho_ tells him, _I care not, I
shall lose nothing by it but a nap in the Afternoon._ In his Second Part,
_Jodolet_ a Priest is call'd a _Holy Cormorant_, and made to dispatch _half
a Turkey, and a Bottle of Malaga for his Breakfast_.[382] Here one Country
Girl chides another for her sawcyness. _D'ee_ (says she) _make a Pimp of a
Priest?_ _Sancho_ interposes with his usual shrewdness: _A Pimp of a
Priest, why is that such a Miracle?_ In the Second _Scene_ the Poet
Provides himself another Priest to abuse.[383] _Mannel_ the Steward calls
_Bernardo_ the Chaplain Mr. _Cuff-Cushion_, and tells him a _Whore is a
Pulpit he loves_.----In settling the _Characters Mannel_ is given out for
_a witty pleasant Fellow_. And now you see he comes up to Expectation. To
the Blind all _Colours_ are alike, and Rudeness, and Raillery are the same
thing![384] Afterwards, _Bernardo_ says _Grace_ upon the _Stage_; and I
suppose Prays to God to bless the Entertainment of the Devil. Before they
rise from Table, the _Poet_ contrives a Quarrel between _Don Quixot_ and
_Bernardo_. The Priest railes on the Knight, and calls him _Don Coxcomb_
&c. By this time you may imagine the Knight heartily Provok'd, ready to
buckle on his _Bason_, and draw out for the Combat, Let us hear his
Resentment.
Don Quix. _Oh thou old black Fox with a Fire brand in thy Tail, thou very
Priest: Thou Kindler of all Mischeifs in all Nations. De'e hear Homily: Did
not the Reverence I bear these Nobles----I would so thrum your Cassock you
Church Vermin_.[385]
At last he bids _Bernardo_ adieu in Language too Profane and Scandalous to
relate.[386] In the Fourth _Act_ His Song calls the Clergy _Black Cattle_,
and says _no Body now minds what they say_. I could alledge more of his
Courtship to the _Order_, but the _Reader_ might possibly be tired, and
therefore I shall proceed in the
_Third_, place to his want of Modesty, and Regard to the Audience. As for
Smut _Sancho_ and _Teresa_ talk it broad, and single sens'd, for almost a
page together.[387] _Mary_ the _Buxsom_ has likewise her share of this
Accomplishment. The first Epilogue is Garnish'd with a Couplet of it;[388]
_Marcella_ the Maiden Shepherdess raves in Raptures of Indecency; And
sometimes you have it mixt up with Profaness, to make the Composition the
stronger.[389] But this entertainment being no Novelty, I shall pass it
over; And the rather because there are some other Rarities which are not to
be met with else where.
Here he diverts the Ladies with the Charming Rhetorick of _Snotty-Nose,
filthy Vermin in the Beard, Nitty Jerkin, and Louse Snapper, with the
Letter in the Chamber-pot, and natural Evacuation_;[390] with an abusive
description of a Countess, and a rude story of a certain Lady, and with
some other varieties of this Kind, too coarse to be named. This is rare
stuff for Ladies, and Quality! There is more of _Physick_, than _Comedy_ in
such Sentences as these. _Crocus Metallorum_ will scarse turn the Stomack
more effectually. 'Tis possible Mr. _Durfey_ might design it for a
_Receipt_. And being Conscious the _Play_ was too dear, threw a Vomit into
the Bargain.[391] I wonder Mr. _Durfey_ should have no more regard to the
_Boxes_ and _Pitt_! That a Man who has _studied the Scenes of Decency and
Good Manners with so much Zeal_, should practise with so little Address!
Certainly _indefatigable Diligence, Care and Pains_, was never more
unfortunate![392] In his _third Part_, _Buxsome_ swears faster, and is more
scandalous, and impertinent, than in the other two. At these Liberties, and
some in _Sancho_, the Ladies took Check. This Censure Mr. _Durfey_ seems
heartily sorry for. He is _extreamly concern'd that the Ladies, that
Essential part of the Audience_, should think his Performance _nauseous and
undecent_.[393] That is, he is very sorry they brought their Wits, or their
Modesty along with them. However Mr. _Durfey_ is not so Ceremonious as to
submit: He is resolved to keep the Field against the Ladies; And endeavours
to defend himself by saying, _I know no other way in Nature to do the
Characters right, but to make a Romp, speak like a Romp, and a clownish
Boor blunder_ &c.[394]
By his favour, all Imitations tho' never so well Counterfeited are not
proper for the _Stage_. To present Nature under every Appearance would be
an odd undertaking. A Midnight _Cart_, or a _Dunghil_ would be no
Ornamental _Scene_. Nastyness, and dirty Conversation are of the same kind.
For _Words_ are a Picture to the Ear, as Colours and _Surface_ are to the
Eye. Such Discourses are like dilating upon Ulcers, and Leprosies: The more
_Natural_, the worse; for the Disgust always rises with the Life of the
Description. Offensive Language like offensive Smells, does but make a
Man's Senses a burthen, and affords him nothing but Loathing and Aversion.
Beastliness in Behaviour, gives a disparaging Idea of Humane Nature, and
almost makes us sorry we are of the same Kind. For these reasons 'tis a
Maxime in Good Breeding never to shock the Senses, or Imagination. This
Rule holds strongest before _Women_, and especially when they come to be
entertain'd. The Diversion ought to be suited to the Audience; For nothing
pleases which is disproportion'd to Capacity, and Gust. The Rudenesses and
broad Jests of Beggars, are just as acceptable to Ladies as their Rags, and
Cleanliness. To treat Persons of Condition like the _Mob_, is to degrade
their Birth, and affront their Breeding. It levells them with the lowest
Education. For the size of a Man's Sense, and Improvement, is discovered by
his Pleasures, as much as by any thing else.
But to remove from _Scenes of Decency_, to _Scenes_ of Wit. And here
_Mannel_ and _Sancho_, two _pleasant sharp Fellows_, will divert us
extreamly.[395] _Mannel_ in the Disguise of a Lady addresses the Dutchess
in this manner. _Illustrious Beauty----I must desire to know whether the
most purifidiferous Don_ Quixote _of the Manchissima, and his
Squireiferous_ Panca, _be in this Company or no_. This is the Ladies
speech! Now comes _Sancho_. _Why look you forsooth, without any more
Flourishes, the Governour_ Panca _is here, and Don_ Quixotissimo _too;
therefore most afflictedissimous Matronissima, speak what you willissimus,
for we are all ready to be your Servitorissimus_.[396]
I dare not go on, for fear of overlaying the _Reader_. He may cloy himself
at his Leisure. The _Scene_ between the _Taylor_ and _Gardiner_, lies much
in the same Latitude of Understanding.[397]
The Third _Part_ presents a set of _Poppets_, which is a Thought good
enough; for this Play is only fit to move upon _Wires_. 'Tis pity these
little _Machines_ appear'd no sooner, for then the Sense, and the _Actors_
had been well adjusted. In explaining the _Persons_, He acquaints us that
_Carasco is a Witty Man_. I can't tell what the Gentleman might be in other
Places, but I'm Satisfied he is a Fool in his _Play_. But some _Poets_ are
as great Judges of Wit, as they are an instance; And have the Theory and
the Practise just alike.
Mr. _Durfeys Epistles Dedicatory_ are to the full as diverting as his
_Comedies_. A little of them may not be amiss.
In his first, He thus addresses the _Dutches_ of _Ormond_. _'Tis Madam from
your Graces Prosperous Influence that I date my Good Fortune._ To _Date_
from time and Place, is vulgar and ordinary, and many a _Letter_ has
miscarried with it: But to do it from an _Influence_, is Astrological, and
surprizing, and agrees extreamly with the _Hemisphere of the
Play-house_.[398] These Flights one would easily imagine were the _Poor
Off-spring_ of Mr. _Durfey's Brain_, as he very judiciously phrases
it.[399]
One Paragraph in his Dedication to Mr. _Montague_ is perfect _Quixotism_;
One would almost think him enchanted. I'll give the Reader a Tast.
_Had your Eye's shot the haughty Austerity upon me of a right
Courtier,----your valued minutes had never been disturb'd with dilatory
Trifles of this Nature, but my Heart on dull Consideration of your Merit,
had supinely wish'd you prosperity at a Distance._[400] I'm afraid the
_Poet_ was under some Apprehensions of the Temper he complains of. For to
my thinking, there is a great deal of _Supiness_, and _dull Consideration_
in these Periods. He tells his Patron _his Smiles have embolden'd him_. I
confess I can't see how He could forbear smiling at such Entertainment.
However Mr. _Durfey_ takes Things by the best Handle, and is resolv'd to be
happy in his Interpretation. But to be serious. Were I the Author, I would
discharge my Muse unless she prov'd kinder. His way is rather to cultivate
his Lungs, and Sing to other Peoples Sense; For to finish him in a word, he
is _Vox, & præterea nihil_. I speak this only on Supposition that the rest
of his Performances are like These. Which because I have not perused I can
judge of no farther than by the Rule of _ex pede Herculem_. I shall
conclude with Monsieur _Boileau's Art_ of _Poetry_. This citation may
possibly be of some service to Mr. _Durfey_; For if not concern'd in the
Application, he may at least be precaution'd by the Advice.
The Translation runs thus.
_I like an Author that Reforms the Age;
And keeps the right Decorum of the Stage:
That always pleases by just Reasons Rule:
But for a tedious Droll a Quibbling Fool,
Who with low nauseous Baudry fills his Plays;
Let him begone and on two Tressells raise
Some_ Smithfield _Stage, where he may act his Pranks,
And make_ Jack-puddings _speak to Mountebanks_.[401]
SECT. III.
_Remarks upon the_ Relapse.
The _Relapse_ shall follow _Don Quixot_; upon the account of some Alliance
between them. And because this _Author_ swaggers so much in his _Preface_,
and seems to look big upon his Performance, I shall spend a few more
thoughts than ordinary upon his _Play_, and examine it briefly in the
_Fable_, the _Moral_, the _Characters_, _&c._ The Fable I take to be as
follows.
Fashion _a Lewd, Prodigal, younger Brother; is reduced to extremity: Upon
his arrival from his Travels, he meets with_ Coupler, _an old sharping
Match-maker_; _This Man puts him upon a project of cheating his Elder
Brother Lord_ Foplington, _of a rich Fortune_. _Young_ Fashion _being
refused a Summ of Money by his Brother, goes into_ Couplers _Plot, bubbles
Sir_ Tunbelly _of his Daughter, and makes himself Master of a fair Estate_.
From the Form and Constitution of the _Fable_, I observe
1st. That there is a _Misnommer_ in the Title. The _Play_ should not have
been call'd the _Relapse, or Virtue in Danger_: _Lovelace_, and _Amanda_,
from whose _Characters_ these Names are drawn, are Persons of Inferiour
Consideration. _Lovelace_ sinks in the middle of the _Fourth_ Act, and we
hear no more of him till towards the End of the _Fifth_, where he enters
once more, but then 'tis as _Cato_ did the Senate house, only to go out
again. And as for _Amanda_ she has nothing to do but to stand a shock of
Courtship, and carry off her Virtue. This I confess is a great task in the
_Play-house_, but no main matter in the _Play_.
The _Intrigue_, and the _Discovery_, the great Revolution and success,
turns upon _Young Fashion_. He without Competition, is the Principal Person
in the _Comedy_. And therefore the _Younger Brother_, or the _Fortunate
Cheat_, had been much a more proper Name. Now when a _Poet_ can't rig out a
_Title Page_, 'tis but a bad sign of his holding out to the _Epilogue_.
_2ly._ I observe the _Moral_ is vitious: It points the wrong way, and puts
the _Prize_ into the wrong Hand. It seems to make _Lewdness_ the reason of
_Desert_, and gives _Young Fashion_ a second Fortune, only for Debauching
away his First. A short view of his _Character_, will make good this
Reflection. To begin with him: He confesses himself a _Rake_, swears, and
Blasphemes, Curses, and Challenges his Elder Brother, cheats him of his
Mistress, and gets him laid by the Heels in a Dog-Kennel. And what was the
ground of all this unnatural quarrelling and outrage? Why the main of it
was only because Lord _Foplington_ refused to supply his Luxury, and make
good his Extravagance. This _Young Fashion_ after all, is the _Poets_ Man
of Merit. He provides, a _Plot_ and a Fortune, on purpose for him. To speak
freely, A Lewd Character seldom wants good Luck in _Comedy_. So that when
ever you see a thorough Libertine, you may almost swear he is in a rising
way, and that the _Poet_ intends to make him a great Man. In short; This
_Play_ perverts the End of _Comedy_: Which as Monsieur _Rapin_ observes
ought to regard Reformation, and publick Improvement. But the _Relapser_
had a more fashionable Fancy in his Head.[402] His _Moral_ holds forth this
notable Instruction.
_1st._ That all _Younger Brothers_ should be careful to run out their
Circumstances as Fast, and as Ill as they can. And when they have put their
Affairs in this posture of Advantage, they may conclude themselves in the
high Road to Wealth, and Success. For as _Fashion_ Blasphemously applies
it, _Providence takes care of Men of Merit._[403]
_2ly._ That when a Man is press'd, his business is not to be govern'd by
Scruples, or formalize upon Conscience and Honesty. The quickest Expedients
are the best; For in such cases the Occasion justifies the Means, and a
Knight of the _Post_, is as good as one of the _Garter_. In the
_3d._ Place it may not be improper to look a little into the _Plot_. Here
the _Poet_ ought to play the Politician if ever. This part should have some
stroaks, of Conduct, and strains of Invention more then ordinary. There
should be something that is admirable, and unexpected to surprize the
Audience. And all this Finess must work by gentle degrees, by a due
preparation of _Incidents_, and by Instruments which are probable.[404]
'Tis Mr. _Rapins_ remark, that without probability _every Thing is lame and
Faulty_. Where there is no pretence to _Miracle_ and _Machine_, matters
must not exceed the force of Beleif. To produce effects without proportion;
and likelyhood in the Cause, is Farce, and Magick, and looks more like
Conjuring than Conduct. Let us examine the _Relapser_ by these Rules. To
discover his _Plot_, we must lay open somewhat more of the _Fable_.
'Lord _Foplington_ a Town Beau, had agreed to Marry the Daughter of Sir.
_Tun-belly Clumsey_ a Country Gentleman, who lived Fifty miles from
_London_. Notwithstanding this small distance, the Lord had never seen his
Mistress, nor the Knight his Son in Law. Both parties out of their great
Wisdom, leave the treating the Match to _Coupler_. When all the
preliminaries of Settlement were adjusted, and Lord _Foplington_ expected
by Sir _Tun-belly_ in a few days, _Coupler_ betrays his Trust to _Young
Fashion_. He advises him to go down before his Brother: To Counterfeit his
Person, and pretend that the strength of his Inclinations brought him
thither before his time, and without his Retinue. And to make him pass upon
Sir _Tun-belly_, _Coupler_ gives him his _Letter_, which was to be Lord
_Foplingtons_ Credential. _Young Fashion_ thus provided, posts down to Sir
_Tun-belly_, is received for Lord _Foplington_, and by the help of a little
Folly and Knavery in the Family, Marries the young Lady without her Fathers
Knowledge, and a week before the Appointment.