shall find them extreamly free, and familiar. They dress up the _Lords_ in
Nick Names, and expose them in _Characters_ of Contempt. _Lord Froth_ is
explain'd a _Solemn Coxcomb_;[342] And _Lord Rake_, and _Lord Foplington_
give you their Talent in their Title.[343] Lord _Plausible_ in the _Plain
Dealer_ Acts a ridiculous Part, but is with all very civil. He tells _Manly
he never attempted to abuse any Person_, The other answers; _What? you were
afraid?_[344] _Manly_ goes on and declares _He would call a Rascal by no
other Title, tho' his Father had left him a Dukes_.[345] That is, he would
call a Duke a Rascal. This I confess is very much _Plain Dealing_. Such
Freedoms would appear but odly in Life, especially without Provocation. I
must own the _Poet_ to be an Author of good Sense; But under favour, these
jests, if we may call them so, are somewhat high Season'd, the Humour seems
overstrain'd, and the _Character_ push'd too far. To proceed. _Mustapha_
was selling _Don Alvarez_ for a Slave. The Merchant asks _what Virtues he
has_.[346] _Mustapha_ replies. _Virtues quoth ah! He is of a great Family
and Rich, what other Virtues would'st thou have in a Nobleman?_ Don
_Carlos_ in _Love Triumphant_ stands for a Gentleman, and a Man of Sense,
and out-throws _Mustapha_ a Bars Length. He tells us _Nature has given_
Sancho _an empty Noddle, but Fortune in revenge has fill'd his Pockets:
just a Lords Estate in Land and Wit_.[347] This is a handsom Compliment to
the Nobility! And my Lord _Salisbury_ had no doubt of it a good Bargain of
the _Dedication_.[348] _Teresa's_ general Description of a Countess is
considerable in its Kind: But only 'tis in no Condition to appear. In the
_Relapse_, Sir _Tunbelly_ who had Mistaken Young _Fashion_ for Lord
_Foplington_, was afterwards undeceiv'd; and before the surprize was quite
over, puts the Question, _is it then possible that this should be the true
Lord_ Foplington _at Last_? The Nobleman removes the scruple with great
Civility and Discretion! _Lord_ Fopl. _Why what do you see in his Face to
make you doubt of it? Sir without presuming to have an extraordinary
Opinion of my Figure, give me leave to tell you, if you had seen as many
Lords as I have done you would not think it Impossible A Person of a worse
Taille then mine might be a Modern Man of Quality._[349]
I'm sorry to hear _Modern Quality_ degenerates so much. But by the way,
these Liberties are altogether new. They are unpractised by the Latin
_Comedians_, and by the _English_ too till very lately, as the _Plain
Dealer_ observes.[350] And as for _Moliere_ in _France_, he pretends to fly
his Satir no higher than a Marquis.[351]
And has our _Stage_ a particular Privilege? Is their _Charter_ inlarg'd,
and are they on the same Foot of Freedom with the _Slaves_ in the
_Saturnalia_? Must all Men be handled alike? Must their Roughness be needs
play'd upon Title? And can't they lash the Vice without pointing upon the
_Quality_? If as Mr. _Dryden_ rightly defines it, a _Play ought to be a
just Image of Humane Nature_;[352] Why are not the Decencies of Life, and,
the Respects of Conversation observ'd? Why must the Customes of Countries
be Cross'd upon, and the Regards of Honour overlook'd? What necessity is
there to kick the _Coronets_ about the _Stage_, and to make a Man a Lord,
only in order to make him a Coxcomb. I hope the _Poets_ don't intend to
revive the old Project of Levelling and _Vote_ down the House of _Peers_.
In earnest, the _Play-house_ is an admirable School of Behaviour! This is
their way of managing Ceremony, distinguishing Degree, and Entertaining the
_Boxes_! But I shall leave them at present to the Enjoyment of their
Talent, and proceed to another Argument.
CHAP. V.
_Remarks upon_ Amphytrion, King Arthur, Don Quixote, _and the_ Relapse.
SECTION I.
The following _Plays_, excepting the Last, will fall under the same Heads
of Commendation with the Former. However, since the _Poets_ have here been
prodigal in their Expence, and dress'd themselves with more Curiosity then
ordinary, they deserve a proportionable Regard. So much Finery must not be
Crowded. I shall therefore make Elbow-Room for their Figure, and allow them
the Compass of a distinct Chapter.
To begin with _Amphytrion_. In this _Play_ Mr. _Dryden_ represents
_Jupiter_ with the Attributes of the supream Being: He furnishes him with
Omnipotence, makes him the Creator of Nature, and the Arbiter of Fate, puts
all the Functions of Providence in his Hand, and describes him with the
Majesty of the true God.[353] And when he has put Him in this glorious
Equipage, he brings him out for Diversion. He makes him express himself in
the most intemperate Raptures:[354] He is willing to _Renounce_ his
_Heaven_ for his Brutality, and employ a whole _Eternity_ in Lewdness. He
draws his Debauch at its full Length, with all the Art, and Heightings, and
Foulness of Idea immaginable. This _Jupiter_ is not contented with his
success against _Amphitrion_, unless he brings _Alcmena_ into the
Confederacy, and makes her a Party _ex post Facto_. He would not have her
think of her _Husband_, but her _Lover_, that is, her _Whoremaster_. 'Tis
not the success, but the manner of gaining it which is all in all. 'Tis the
Vice which is the charming Circumstance. Innocence and Regularity, are
dangerous Companions; They spoil Satisfaction, and make every Thing
insipid! Unless People take care to discharge their Virtue, and clear off
their Conscience, their Senses will vanish immediately! For _Jupiter_, says
he,[355] would _owe nothing to a Name so dull as Husband_. And in the next
Page.
_That very name of Wife And Marriage
Is poyson to the dearest sweets of Love._[356]
I would give the _Reader_ some more of these fine Sentences, but that they
are too much out of Order to appear. The truth is, Our _Stage-Poets_ seem
to fence against Censure by the excess of Lewdness; And to make the
overgrown size of a Crime, a Ground for Impunity. As if a Malefactor should
project his Escape by appearing too scandalous for Publick Tryal. However,
This is their Armour of Proof, this is the Strength they retreat to. They
are fortified in Smut, and almost impregnable in Stench, so that where they
deserve most, there's no coming at them. To proceed. I desire to know what
Authority Mr. _Dryden_ has for this extraordinary Representation? His
Original _Plautus_, is no President. Indeed _Plautus_ is the only bold
Heathen that ever made _Jupiter_ tread the _Stage_. But then he stops far
short of the Liberties of the _English Amphitrion. Jupiter_ at _Rome_, and
_London_, have the same unaccountable Design; but the Methods of pursuit
are very different. The First, does not solicit in scandalous Language, nor
flourish upon his Lewdness, nor endeavours to set it up for the Fashion.
_Plautus_ had some regard to the Height of the Character, and the Opinion
of his Country, and the Restraints of Modesty. The Sallies of
_Aristophanes_ do not come up to the case; And if they did, I have cut off
the Succours from that Quarter already. _Terence's Chærea_. is the next
bold Man:[357] However, here the Fable of _Jupiter_ and _Danae_ are just
glanced at, and the Expression is clean; and He that tells the Story, a
Young Libertine. These are all circumstances of extenuation, and give quite
another Complexion to the Thing. As for the _Greek Tragedians_ and
_Seneca_, there's no Prescription can be drawn from them. They mention
_Jupiter_ in Terms of Magnificence and Respect, and make his Actions, and
his Nature of a piece. But it may be the Celebrated _Homer_, and _Virgil_
may give Mr. _Dryden_ some Countenance. Not at all. _Virgil's Jupiter_ is
alwaies great, and solemn, and keeps up the port of a Deity. 'Tis true,
_Homer_ does not guard the Idea with that exactness, but then He never
sinks the Character into Obscenity. The most exceptionable passage is that
where _Jupiter_ relates his Love Adventures to _Juno_. Here this pretended
Deity is charm'd with _Venus_'s Girdle, is in the height of his Courtship,
and under the Ascendant of his Passion. This 'tis confess'd was a slippery
Place, and yet the Poet makes a shift to keep his Feet. His _Jupiter_ is
Little, but not nauseous; The Story, tho' improper, will bear the telling,
and look Conversation in the Face. However; These Freedoms of _Homer_ were
counted intolerable: I shall not insist on the Censures of _Justin Martyr_,
or _Clemens Alexandrinus_: Even the Heathen could not endure them. The
Poets are lashed by _Plato_ upon this Score; For planting Vice in Heaven,
and making their Gods infectious; If Mr. _Dryden_ answers that _Jupiter_
can do us no Harm.[358] He is known to be an Idol of Lewd Memory, and
therefore his Example can have no Force: Under Favour this is a mistake:
For won't Pitch daub when a dirty Hand throws it; or can't a Toad spit
Poyson because she's ugly? Ribaldry is dangerous under any Circumstances of
Representation. And as _Menander_ and St. _Paul_ express it, _Evil
Communications corrupt good Manners_. I mention them both, because if the
_Apostle_ should be dislik'd, the _Comedian_ may pass. But after all, Mr.
_Dryden_ has not so much as a Heathen President for his Singularities. What
then made him fall into them? Was it the Decency of the Thing, and the
Propriety of _Character_, and Behaviour? By no means. For as I have
observ'd before, Nature and Operations, ought to be proportion'd, and
Behaviour suited to the Dignity of Being. To draw a Monkey in Royal Robes,
and a Prince in _Antick_, would be Farce upon Colours, entertain like a
Monster, and please only upon the score of Deformity. Why then does Mr.
_Dryden_ cross upon Nature and Authority, and go off as he Confesses, from
the Plan of _Plautus_, and _Moliere_? Tho' by the way, the English
_Amphitryon_ has borrow'd most of the Libertine Thoughts of _Moliere_, and
improv'd them. But to the former question. Why must the beaten Road be
left? He tells us, _That the difference of our_ Stage _from the Roman and
the French did so require it_.[359] That is, our _Stage_ must be much more
Licentious. For you are to observe that Mr. _Dryden_, and his Fraternity,
have help'd to debauch the _Town_, and Poyson their Pleasures to an unusal
Degree: And therefore the Diet must be dress'd to the Palate of the
_Company_. And since they are made _Scepticks_, they must be entertain'd as
such. That the English _Amphitryon_ was contriv'd with this View is too
plain to be better interpreted. To what purpose else does _Jupiter_ appear
in the shape of _Jehovah_? Why are the incommunicable _Attributes_
burlesqu'd, and Omnipotence applyed to Acts of Infamy? To what end can such
Horrible stuff as this serve, unless to expose the Notion, and extinguish
the Belief of a Deity? The Perfections of God, are Himself. To ridicule his
Attributes and his Being, are but two words for the same Thing. These
Attributes are bestow'd on _Jupiter_ with great Prodigality, and afterwards
execrably outrag'd. The Case being thus, the Cover of an Idol, is too thin
a pretence to Screen the Blasphemy. Nothing but Mr. _Dryden's Absolom_ and
_Achitophel_ can out-do This. Here I confess the Motion of his Pen is
bolder, and the Strokes more Black'd. Here we have Blasphemy on the top of
the Letter, without any trouble of Inference, or Construction. This Poem
runs all upon Scripture Names, Upon Suppositions of the true Religion, and
the right Object of Worship. Here Profaness is shut out from Defence, and
lies open without Colour or Evasion. Here are no Pagan Divinities in the
Scheme, so that all the Atheistick Raillery must point upon the true God.
In the beginning we are told that _Absalom_ was _David's_ Natural Son: So
then there's a blot in his _Scutcheon_ and a Blemish upon his Birth. The
_Poet_ will make admirable use of this, remark presently! This _Absalom_ it
seems was very extraordinary in his Person and Performances. Mr. _Dryden_
does not certainly know how this came about, and therefore enquires of
himself in the first place,
_Whether inspired with a diviner Lust,
His Father got him_----[360]
This is down right Defiance of the Living God! Here you have the very
Essence and Spirit of Blasphemy, and the Holy Ghost brought in upon the
most hideous Occasion. I question whether the Torments and Despair of the
Damn'd, dare venture at such Flights as these. They are beyond Description,
I Pray God they may not be beyond Pardon too. I can't forbear saying, that
the next bad Thing to the writing these Impieties, is to Suffer them. To
return to _Amphitryon_. _Phoebus_ and _Mercury_ have _Manners_ assign'd
very disagreeable to their Condition. The later abating Propriety of
Language, talks more like a _Water-man_ than a Deity. They rail against the
Gods, and call _Mars_ and _Vulcan_ the _two Fools of Heaven. Mercury_ is
pert upon his Father _Jupiter_, makes jests upon his Pleasures, and his
Greatness, and is horribly smutty and profane.[361] And all this
Misbehaviour comes from him in his own shape, and in the sublimity of his
Character. Had He run Riot in the Disguise of _Sofia_, the Discourse and
the Person had been better adjusted, and the Extravagance more Pardonable.
But here the Decorum is quite lost. To see the _Immortals_ play such
Gambols, and the biggest Beings do the least Actions, is strangely
unnatural. An Emperour in the Grimaces of an Ape, or the Diversions of a
Kitten, would not be half so ridiculous. Now as Monsieur _Rapin_ observes,
without Decorum there can be no _probability_, nor without Probability any
true Beauty. Nature must be minded, otherwise Things will look forced,
tawdry, and chimerical. Mr. _Dryden_ discourses very handsomly on this
occasion in his _Preface_ to _Albion_ and _Albanius_.[362] He informs us,
_That Wit has been truly defin'd a propriety of Words and Thoughts.----That
Propriety of Thought is that Fancy which arises naturally from the
Subject._ Why then without doubt, the Quality, of Characters should be
taken care of, and great Persons appear like themselves. Yes, yes, all this
is granted by implication, and Mr. _Dryden_ comes still nearer to the
present case. He tells us, that _Propriety is to be observed, even in
Machines; And that the Gods are all to manage their Peculiar Provinces_. He
instances in some of their respective Employments; but I don't find that
any of them were to talk Lewdly. No. He plainly supposes the contrary. For
as he goes on, _If they were to speak upon the Stage it would follow of
necessity, that the Expressions should be Lofty, Figurative, and
Majestical_. It seems then their Behaviour should be agreeable to their
Greatness. Why then are not these Rules observ'd, in the _Machines_ of
_Amphitrion_? As I take it, Obscenity has not the Air of Majesty, nor any
Alliance with the _Sublime_. And as for the _Figurative_ Part, 'tis
generally of the same Cut with the _Lofty_: The Smut shines clear, and
strong, through the Metaphor, and is no better screen'd than the Sun by a
Glass Window. To use _Mercury_ thus ill, and make the God of Eloquence
speak so unlike himself is somewhat strange! But tho' the _Antients_ knew
nothing of it, there are Considerations above those of _Decency_. And when
this happens, _A Rule must rather be trespass'd on, than a Beauty left
out_. 'Tis Mr. _Dryden's_ opinion in his _Cleomenes_, where he breaks the
_Unity of Time_, to describe the _Beauty_ of a Famine.[363] Now Beauty is
an arbitrary Advantage, and depends upon Custom and Fancy. With some People
the Blackest Complexions are the handsomest. 'Tis to these _African_
Criticks that Mr. _Dryden_ seems to make his Appeal. And without doubt he
bespeaks their Favour, and strikes their Imagination luckily enough. For to
lodge Divinity and Scandal together; To make the Gods throw _Stars_, like
_Snow-balls_ at one another, but especially to Court in Smut, and rally in
Blasphemy, is most admirably entertaining! This is much better than all the
Niceties of _Decorum_. 'Tis handsomly contriv'd to slur the Notion of a
Superiour Nature, to disarm the Terrors of Religion, and make the Court
Above as Romantick as that of the _Fairies_. A Libertine when his
Conscience is thus reliev'd, and Atheism sits easie upon his Spirits, can't
help being grateful upon the Occasion. Meer Interest will oblige him to cry
up the Performance, and solicit for the _Poets_ Reputation! Before I take
leave of these _Machines_, it may not be amiss to enquire why the Gods are
brought into the _Spiritual Court_.[364] Now I suppose the Creditableness
of the Business, and the _Poets_ Kindness to those _Places_, are the
principal Reasons of their coming. However. He might have a farther Design
in his Head, and that is, to bring _Thebes_ to _London_, and to show the
Antiquity of _Doctors Commons_. For if you will believe _Mercury_, this
Conference between him and _Phoebus_ was held three thousand years
ago.[365] Thus _Shakespear_ makes _Hector_ talk about _Aristotles_
Philosophy,[366] and calls Sr. _John Old Castle_, _Protestant_.[367] I had
not mention'd this Discovery in Chronology, but that Mr. _Dryden_ falls
upon _Ben Johnson_, for making _Cataline give Fire at the Face of a Cloud_,
before Guns were invented.
By the Pattern of these pretended _Deities_, we may guess what sort of
_Mortals_ we are likely to meet with. Neither are we mistaken. For
_Phædra_, is bad enough in all Conscience, but _Bromia_ is a meer Original.
Indeed when Mr. _Dryden_ makes _Jupiter_, and _Jupiter_ makes the Women,
little less can be expected. So much for _Amphitrion_.
I shall pass on to _King Arthur_ for a word or two.[368] Now here is a
strange jumble and Hotch potch of Matters, if you mind it. Here we have
_Genii_, and _Angels_, _Cupids_, _Syrens_, and _Devils_; _Venus_ and St.
_George_, _Pan_ and the _Parson_, the Hell of Heathenism, and the Hell of
_Revelation_; A fit of Smut, and then a Jest about Original Sin. And why
are Truth and Fiction, Heathenism and Christianity, the most Serious and
the most Trifling Things blended together, and thrown into one Form of
Diversion? Why is all this done unless it be to ridicule the whole, and
make one as incredible as the other? His _Airy_ and _Earthy Spirits_
discourse of the first state of Devils, of their _Chief_ of their Revolt,
their Punishment, and Impostures. This Mr. _Dryden_ very Religiously calls
a _Fairy way of Writing, which depends only on the Force of
Imagination_.[369] What then is the Fall of the Angels a Romance? Has it no
basis of Truth, nothing to support it, but strength of Fancy, and Poetick
Invention? After He had mention'd Hell, Devils, _&c_. and given us a sort
of _Bible_ description of these formidable Things; I say after he had
formed his Poem in this manner, I am surprized to hear him call it a _Fairy
kind of Writing_. Is the History of _Tophet_ no better prov'd than that of
_Styx_? Is the Lake of _Brimstone_ and that of _Phlegeton_ alike dreadful?
And have we as much Reason to believe the Torments of _Titius_ and
_Prometheus_, as those of the Devils and Damn'd? These are lamentable
Consequences! And yet I can't well see how the _Poet_ can avoid them. But
setting aside this miserable Gloss in the _Dedication_, the Representation
it self is scandalously irreligious. To droll upon the Vengeance of Heaven,
and the Miseries of the Damn'd, is a sad Instance of Christianity! Those
that bring Devils upon the _Stage_, can hardly believe them any where else.
Besides, the Effects of such an Entertainment must needs be admirable! To
see Hell thus play'd with is a mighty Refreshment to a lewd Conscience, and
a byass'd Understanding. It heartens the Young Libertine, and confirms the
well-wishers to Atheism, and makes Vice bold, and enterprising. Such
Diversions serve to dispel the Gloom, and guild the Horrors of the _Shades
below_, and are a sort of Ensurance against Damnation. One would think
these _Poets_ went upon absolute Certainty, and could demonstrate a Scheme
of Infidelity. If they could, They had much better keep the Secret. The
divulging it tends only to debauch Mankind, and shake the Securities of
Civil Life. However, if they have been in the other World and find it
empty, and uninhabited, and are acquainted with all the Powers, and Places,
in Being; If they can show the Impostures of Religion, and the
Contradictions of Common Belief, they have something to say for themselves.
Have they then infallible Proof and Mathematick Evidence for these
Discoveries? No Man had ever the Confidence to say This; And if He should,
he would be but laughed at for his Folly. No Conclusions can exceed the
Evidence of their Principles; you may as well build a Castle in the Air, as
raise a Demonstration upon a Bottom of Uncertainty. And is any Man so vain
as to pretend to know the Extent of Nature, and the Stretch of Possibility,
and the Force of the Powers Invisible? So that notwithstanding the Boldness
of this _Opera_, there may be such a Place as Hell; And if so, a Discourse
about Devils, will be no _Fairy way of Writing_. For a _Fairy way of
Writing_, is nothing but a _History of Fiction_; A subject of Imaginary
Beings; such as never had any existence in Time, or Nature. And if as
Monsieur _Rapin_ observes, _Poetry_ requires a mixture of Truth and
_Fable_; Mr. _Dryden_ may make his advantage, for his _Play_ is much better
founded on Reality than He was aware of.
It may not be improper to consider in a word or two, what a frightfull Idea
the _Holy Scriptures_ give us of Hell. 'Tis describ'd by all the
Circumstances of Terror, by every Thing dreadful to Sense, and amazing to
Thought. The Place, the Company, the Duration, are all Considerations of
Astonishment. And why has God given us this solemn warning? Is it not to
awaken our Fears, and guard our Happiness; To restrain the Disorders of
Appetite, and to keep us within Reason, and Duty? And as for the _Apostate
Angels_, the _Scriptures_ inform us of their lost Condition, of their
Malice and Power, of their active Industry and Experience; and all these
Qualities Correspondent to the Bulk of their Nature, the Antiquity of their
Being, and the Misery of their State. In short, They are painted in all the
formidable Appearances imaginable, to alarm our Caution, and put us upon
the utmost Defence.
Let us see now how Mr. _Dryden_ represents these unhappy Spirits, and their
Place of Abode. Why very entertainingly! Those that have a true Tast for
Atheism were never better regaled. One would think by this _Play_ the
Devils were meer Mormo's and Bugbears, fit only to fright Children and
Fools. They rally upon Hell and Damnation, with a great deal of Air and
Pleasantry; and appear like _Robin Good-fellow_, only to make the Company
laugh. _Philidel_: Is call'd a _Puling Sprite_. And why so? For this pious
reason, because
_He trembles at the yawning Gulph of Hell,
Nor dares approach the Flames least he should Singe
His gaudy silken Wings.
He sighs when he should plunge a Soul in Sulphur,
As with Compassion touch'd of Foolish Man_.[370]
The answer is, _What a half Devil's he_.
You see how admirably it runs all upon the Christian Scheme! Sometimes they
are _Half-Devils_, and sometimes _Hopeful-Devils_, and what you please to
make sport with. _Grimbald_ is afraid of being _whooped through Hell at his
return_, for miscarrying in his Business. It seems there is great Leisure
for Diversion! There's _Whooping_ in Hell, instead of _Weeping_ and
_Wailing_! One would fancy Mr. _Dryden_ had Daylight and Company, when
these Lines were written. I know his Courage is extraordinary; But sure
such Thoughts could never bear up against Solitude and a Candle!
And now since he has diverted himself with the _Terrors_ of _Christianity_,
I dont wonder he, should treat those that Preach them with so much
Civility! enter _Poet_ in the Habit of a _Peasant_.
_We ha' cheated the Parson we'el cheat him again,
For why should a Blockhead have one in ten?
For prating so long like a Booklearned Sot,
Till Pudding, and Dumpling burn to pot._