How little, O, my Daughter, how exceeding little shall satisfy the
heart of a woman!
For a man’s love is like unto an orchid, which requireth tender
persuasion and _constant cultivation_. But a woman’s love is like unto
an air plant, which flourisheth continually upon _imagination_.
Now, I knew a damsel of Babylon, and she was exceeding fair, having
dove’s eyes, and curling locks, and much moneys, and a motor car.
Wherefore the youths of the land flocked unto her house, and her parlor
was always _full_, and her piazza running over.
And one of these was a medal-winner, called Clod, who possessed a
football figure and a Gibson profile. But the least among them all was
Wisenheimer, who was abbreviated and whose hair was thin upon the top.
And Clod come unto the damsel, bringing his medals and his loving cups
and divers trophies. And when he had shown them all and had told her
of his deeds of prowess, he sat afar off in a corner and conversed of
_generalities_ and of _himself_.
For he said in his heart, “When she hath seen what great works I am
destined to accomplish, then will she gladly share them with me and
shine in my reflected glory.”
But Wisenheimer concentrated all his conversation upon _one topic_,
saying:
“How marvellous are thine eyes to-night, O Star of Beauty! And thy
lips have a curve like unto the smile of Mona Lisa. Thy hair is of a
wonderful softness; and _what_ is that fascinating perfume thou usest?
Lo, many damsels have I known, but thou excellest them all; for thou
art as Maxine Elliot and Lillian Russell and the Venus de Milo in one!”
And the damsel was interested, and she said:
“Go on!”
Then Wisenheimer cast himself before her crying: “Lo, what am I, a worm
and a parasite, that I should aspire to thy love?
“Behold, I am a _sinner_ and full of _evil_, yet I need the love of a
_noble woman_ to save me! I am as _nothing_, and have accomplished
nothing, yet I yearn for the inspiration of an angel to guide me and
sustain me and spur me on to higher things!”
And lo, the maiden fell upon his neck and comforted him with kisses and
with promises. And the wedding was set for October.
Yet all her friends said:
“What doth she see in _him_!”
But I say unto thee, the maiden was wise. For verily, verily, in the
comedy of matrimony there is more joy in being a _star_ than in being
an _understudy_!