We agreed to pass this day with Sir Allan, and he engaged to have
every thing in order for our voyage to-morrow.
Being now soon to be separated from our amiable friend young Col, his
merits were all remembered. At Ulva he had appeared in a new
character, having given us a good prescription for a cold. On my
mentioning him with warmth, Dr Johnson said, 'Col does every thing for
us: we will erect a statue to Col.' 'Yes,' said I, 'and we will have
him with his various attributes and characters, like Mercury, or any
other of the heathen gods. We will have him as a pilot; we will have
him as a fisherman, as a hunter, as a husbandman, as a physician.'
I this morning took a spade, and dug a little grave in the floor of a
ruined chapel, near Sir Allan M'Lean's house, in which I buried some
human bones I found there. Dr Johnson praised me for what I had done,
though he owned, he could not have done it. He shewed in the chapel at
Rasay his horrour at dead men's bones. He shewed it again at Col's
house. In the charter-room there was a remarkable large shin-bone;
which was said to have been a bone of John Garve, one of the lairds.
Dr Johnson would not look at it; but started away.
At breakfast, I asked, 'What is the reason that we are angry at a
trader's having opulence?' JOHNSON. 'Why, sir, the reason is (though I
don't undertake to prove that there is a reason), we see no qualities
in trade that should entitle a man to superiority. We are not angry at
a soldier's getting riches, because we see that he possesses qualities
which we have not. If a man returns from a battle, having lost one
hand, and with the other full of gold, we feel that he deserves the
gold; but we cannot think that a fellow, by sitting all day at a desk,
is entitled to get above us.' BOSWELL. 'But, sir, may we not suppose a
merchant to be a man of an enlarged mind, such as Addison in the
Spectator describes Sir Andrew Freeport to have been?' JOHNSON. 'Why,
sir, we may suppose any fictitious character. We may suppose a
philosophical day-labourer, who is happy in reflecting that, by his
labour, he contributes to the fertility of the earth, and to the
support of his fellow-creatures; but we find no such philosophical
day-labourer. A merchant may, perhaps, be a man of an enlarged mind;
but there is nothing in trade connected with an enlarged mind.'
I mentioned that I heard Dr Solander say he was a Swedish Laplander.
JOHNSON. 'Sir, I don't believe he is a Laplander. The Laplanders are
not much above four feet high. He is as tall as you; and he has not
the copper colour of a Laplander.' BOSWELL. 'But what motive could he
have to make himself a Laplander?' JOHNSON. 'Why, sir, he must either
mean the word Laplander in a very extensive sense, or may mean a
voluntary degradation of himself. "For all my being the great man that
you see me now, I was originally a barbarian"; as if Burke should say,
"I came over a wild Irishman," which he might say in his present state
of exaltation.'
Having expressed a desire to have an island like Inchkenneth, Dr
Johnson set himself to think what would be necessary for a man in such
a situation. 'Sir, I should build me a fortification, if I came to
live here; for, if you have it not, what should hinder a parcel of
ruffians to land in the night, and carry off every thing you have in
the house, which, in a remote country, would be more valuable than
cows and sheep? Add to all this the danger of having your throat cut.'
BOSWELL. 'I would have a large dog.' JOHNSON. 'So you may, sir; but a
large dog is of no use but to alarm. He, however, I apprehend, thinks
too lightly of the power of that animal. I have heard him say, that he
is afraid of no dog. 'He would take him up by the hinder legs, which
would render him quite helpless, and then knock his head against a
stone, and beat out his brains.' Topham Beauclerk told me, that at his
house in the country, two large ferocious dogs were fighting. Dr
Johnson looked steadily at them for a little while; and then, as one
would separate two little boys, who are foolishly hurting each other,
he ran up to them, and cuffed their heads till he drove them asunder.
But few men have his intrepidity, Herculean strength, or presence of
mind. Most thieves or robbers would be afraid to encounter a mastiff.
I observed, that, when young Col talked of the lands belonging to his
family, he always said, 'MY lands'. For this he had a plausible
pretence; for he told me, there has been a custom in this family, that
the laird resigns the estate to the eldest son when he comes of age,
reserving to himself only a certain life-rent. He said, it was a
voluntary custom; but I think I found an instance in the charter-room,
that there was such an obligation in a contract of marriage. If the
custom was voluntary, it was only curious; but if founded on
obligation, it might be dangerous; for I have been told, that in
Otaheite, whenever a child is born (a son, I think), the father loses
his right to the estate and honours, and that this unnatural, or
rather absurd custom, occasions the murder of many children.
Young Col told us he could run down a greyhound; 'for,' said he, 'the
dog runs himself out of breath, by going too quick, and then I get up
with him.' I accounted for his advantage over the dog, by remarking
that Col had the faculty of reason, and knew how to moderate his pace,
which the dog had not sense enough to do. Dr Johnson said, 'He is a
noble animal. He is as complete an islander as the mind can figure. He
is a farmer, a sailor, a hunter, a fisher: he will run you down a dog:
if any man has a tail it is Col. He is hospitable; and he has an
intrepidity of talk, whether he understands the subject or not. I
regret that he is not more intellectual.'
Dr Johnson observed, that there was nothing of which he would not
undertake to persuade a Frenchman in a foreign country. I'll carry a
Frenchman to St Paul's Church-yard, and I'll tell him, "by our law you
may walk half round the church; but, if you walk round the whole, you
will be punished capitally", and he will believe me at once. Now, no
Englishman would readily swallow such a thing: he would go and inquire
of somebody else.' The Frenchman's credulity, I observed, must be
owing to his being accustomed to implicit submission; whereas every
Englishman reasons upon the laws of his country, and instructs his
representatives, who compose the legislature.
This day was passed in looking at a small island adjoining
Inchkenneth, which afforded nothing worthy of observation; and in such
social and gay entertainments as our little society could furnish.