The governour has a very good garden. We looked at it, and at the rest
of the fort, which is but small, and may be commanded from a variety
of hills around. We also looked at the galley or sloop belonging to
the fort, which sails upon the Loch, and brings what is wanted for the
garrison. Captains Urie and Darippe, of the 15th regiment of foot,
breakfasted with us. They had served in America, and entertained Dr
Johnson much with an account of the Indians. He said, he could make a
very pretty book out of them, were he to stay there. Governour Trapaud
was much struck with Dr Johnson. 'I like to hear him,' said he; 'it is
so majestick. I should be glad to hear him speak in your court.' He
pressed us to stay dinner; but I considered that we had a rude road
before us, which we could more easily encounter in the morning, and
that it was hard to say when we might get up, were we to sit down to
good entertainment, in good company: I therefore begged the governour
would excuse us. Here too, I had another very pleasing proof how much
my father is regarded. The governour expressed the highest respect for
him, and bade me tell him, that, if he would come that way on the
northern circuit, he would do him all the honours of the garrison.
Between twelve and one we set out, and travelled eleven miles, through
a wild country, till we came to a house in Glenmorison, called Anoch,
kept by a M'Queen. [Footnote: A M'Queen is a Highland mode of
expression. An Englishman would say ONE M'Queen. But where there are
clans or tribes of men, distinguished by patronymick surnames, the
individuals of each are considered as if they were of different
species, at least as much as nations are distinguished; so that a
M'QUEEN, a M'DONALD, a M'LEAN, is said, as we say a Frenchman, an
Italian, a Spaniard.] Our landlord was a sensible fellow: he had
learnt his grammar, and Dr Johnson justly observed, that 'a man is the
better for that as long as he lives.' There were some books here: a
Treatise against Drunkenness, translated from the French; a volume of
the Spectator; a volume of Prideaux's Connection, and Cyrus's Travels.
M'Queen said he had more volumes; and his pride seemed to be much
piqued that we were surprised at his having books.
Near to this place we had passed a party of soldiers, under a
serjeant's command, at work upon the road. We gave them two shillings
to drink. They came to our inn, and made merry in the barn. We went
and paid them a visit, Dr Johnson saying, 'Come, let's go and give 'em
another shilling a-piece.' We did so; and he was saluted 'My Lord' by
all of them. He is really generous, loves influence, and has the way
of gaining it. He said, 'I am quite feudal, sir.' Here I agree with
him. I said, I regretted I was not the head of a clan; however, though
not possessed of such an hereditary advantage, I would always
endeavour to make my tenants follow me. I could not be a PATRIARCHAL
chief, but I would be a FEUDAL chief.
The poor soldiers got too much liquor. Some of them fought, and left
blood upon the spot, and cursed whisky next morning. The house here
was built of thick turfs, and thatched with thinner turfs and heath.
It had three rooms in length, and a little room which projected. Where
we sat, the side-walls were WAINSCOTTED, as Dr Johnson said, with
wicker, very neatly plaited. Our landlord had made the whole with his
own hands.
After dinner, M'Queen sat by us a while, and talked with us. He said,
all the Laird of Glenmorison's people would bleed for him, if they
were well used; but that seventy men had gone out of the Glen to
America. That he himself intended to go next year; for that the rent
of his farm, which twenty years ago was only five pounds, was now
raised to twenty pounds. That he could pay ten pounds, and live; but
no more. Dr Johnson said, he wished M'Queen Laird of Glenmorison, and
the laird to go to America. M'Queen very generously answered, he
should be sorry for it; for the laird could not shift for himself in
America as he could do.
I talked of the officers whom we had left to day; how much service
they had seen, and how little they got for it, even of fame. JOHNSON.
'Sir, a soldier gets as little as any man can get.' BOSWELL.
'Goldsmith has acquired more fame than all the officers last war, who
were not Generals.' JOHNSON. 'Why, sir, you will find ten thousand fit
to do what they did, before you find one who does what Goldsmith has
done. You must consider, that a thing is valued according to its
rarity. A pebble that paves the street is in itself more useful than
the diamond upon a lady's finger.' I wish our friend Goldsmith had
heard this.
I yesterday expressed my wonder that John Hay, one of our guides, who
had been pressed aboard a man of war, did not choose to continue in it
longer than nine months, after which time he got off. JOHNSON. 'Why,
sir, no man will be a sailor, who has contrivance enough to get
himself into a jail; for, being in a ship is being in a jail, with the
chance of being drowned.'
We had tea in the afternoon, and our landlord's daughter, a modest
civil girl, very neatly drest, made it for us. She told us, she had
been a year at Inverness, and learnt reading and writing, sewing,
knotting, working lace, and pastry. Dr Johnson made her a present of a
book which he had bought at Inverness. [Footnote: This book has given
rise to much inquiry, which has ended in ludicrous surprise. Several
ladies, wishing to learn the kind of reading which the great and good
Dr Johnson esteemed most fit for a young woman, desired to know what
book he had selected for this Highland nymph. They never adverted,'
said he, 'that I had no CHOICE in the matter. I have said that I
presented her with a book which I HAPPENED to have about me.' And what
was this book? My readers, prepare your features for merriment. It was
Cocker's Arithmetick! Wherever this was mentioned, there was a loud
laugh, at which Dr Johnson, when present used sometimes to be a little
angry. One day, when we were dining at General Oglethorpe's, where we
had many a valuable day, I ventured to interrogate him, 'But, sir, is
it not somewhat singular that you should HAPPEN to have Cocker's
Arithmetick about you on your journey? What made you buy such a book
at Inverness?' He gave me a very sufficient answer. 'Why, sir, if you
are to have but one book with you upon a Journey, let it be a book of
science. When you have read through a book of entertainment, you know
it, and it can do no more for you; but a book of science is
inexhaustible.']
The room had some deals laid across the joists, as a kind of ceiling.
There were two beds in the room, and a woman's gown was hung on a rope
to make a curtain of separation between them. Joseph had sheets, which
my wife had sent with us, laid on them. We had much hesitation,
whether to undress, or lie down with our clothes on. I said at last.
'I'll plunge in! There will be less harbour for vermin about me, when
I am stripped!' Dr Johnson said, he was like one hesitating whether to
go into the cold bath. At last he resolved too. I observed, he might
serve a campaign. JOHNSON. 'I could do all that can be done by
patience: whether I should have strength enough, I know not.' He was
in excellent humour. To see the Rambler as I saw him tonight, was really
an amusement. I yesterday told him, I was thinking of writing a poetical
letter to him. On his Return from Scotland, in the stile of Swift's
humorous epistle in the character of Mary Gulliver to her husband,
Captain Lemuel Gulliver, on his return to England from the country of
the Houyhnhums:
At early morn I to the market haste,
Studious in ev'ry thing to please thy taste.
A curious FOWL and SPARAGRASS I chose;
(For I remember you were fond of those:)
Three shillings cost the first, the last sev'n groats;
Sullen you turn from both, and call for OATS.
He laughed, and asked in whose name I would write it. I said, in Mrs
Thrale's. He was angry. 'Sir, if you have any sense of decency or
delicacy, you won't do that!' BOSWELL. 'Then let it be in Cole's, the
landlord of the Mitre tavern; where we have so often sat together.'
JOHNSON. 'Ay, that may do.'
After we had offered up our private devotions, and had chatted a
little from our beds, Dr Johnson said, 'God bless us both, for Jesus
Christ's sake! Good night!' I pronounced 'Amen.' He fell asleep
immediately. I was not so fortunate for a long time. I fancied myself
bit by innumerable vermin under the clothes; and that a spider was
travelling from the wainscot towards my mouth. At last I fell into
insensibility.