OF THE AGENT’S QUALIFICATIONS, AND CEREMONIES OF THEIR CONSTITUTION.
When the candidates for Satan’s employment have, by a course of
probation, given sufficient proofs of their ability for the discharge
of the duties of the profession they are about to adopt, and when they
have arrived at an age befitting the importance of the calling, men
and women are equally eligible, though it is well known that women are
preferred. Their initiation into infernal orders is preceded by the
execution of a formal covenant with Satan, sealed with the mutual blood
of the parties, whereby, for the considerations therein expressed,
Satan engages, on the one hand, to commit to the entrant the various
powers and qualifications which shall be detailed in the following
pages; and, on the other hand, the said entrant binds and obliges
himself, or herself, to apply himself, or herself, faithfully and
diligently in his service, by day and by night, promising to conceal
the secrets of his trade and profession, (much in the style of our
common indentures). The candidates are then inducted into the mysteries
and secrets of their new profession with great pomp, in presence of
the Royal Grand Master, who, set forth in _proprio terrore_, presides
over the ceremony. The place selected for this imposing ceremony is
not unfrequently a spacious lake or pool, the members of the craft in
attendance being furnished with their seaworthy navy, their brooms and
riddles. The following particulars relative to an intended initiation,
which was attempted in Strathdown, “in the memory of the grandmothers
of some people still living,” while it conveys some idea of such a
scene as that to which we alluded, may also prove a warning to those
who may be thoughtlessly led to embrace the profession.
“In the time of my grandmother, the farm of _Delnabo_ was
proportionally divided between three tenants. At first equally
comfortable in their circumstances, it was in the course of some time
remarked by all, and by none more forcibly than by one of the said
three portioners, that, although superior in point of industry and
talent to his two fellow-portioners, one of the tenants was daily
lapsing into poverty, while his two neighbours were daily improving in
estate. Amazed and grieved at the adverse fortune which thus attended
his family, compared to the prosperous condition of his neighbours, the
wife of the poor man was in the habit of expressing her astonishment at
the circumstance, not only to her own particular friends, but likewise
to the wives of her neighbours themselves. On one of these occasions,
the other two wives asked her what would she do to ameliorate her
condition, if it were in her power? She answered them, she would do any
thing whatever. (Here the other wives thought they had got a gudgeon,
that would snap at any bait, and immediately resolved to make her
their confidant.) ‘Well, then,’ says one of the other two wives, ‘if
you agree to keep our communications strictly secret, and implicitly
obey our instructions, neither poverty nor want shall ever assail you
more.’ This speech of the other wife immediately impressed the poor
man’s wife with a strong suspicion of their real character. Dissembling
all surprise at the circumstance, she promised to agree to all their
conditions. She was then directed, when she went to bed that night,
to carry along with her the floor-broom, well known for its magical
properties, which she was to leave by her husband’s side in the course
of the night, and which would represent her so exactly, that the
husband could not distinguish the difference in the morning. They, at
the same time, enjoined her to discard all fears of detection, as their
own husbands had been satisfied with those lovely substitutes (the
brooms) for a great number of years. Matters being thus arranged, she
was desired to join them at the hour of midnight, in order to accompany
them to that scene which was to realize her future happiness.
“Promising to attend to their instructions, the poor man’s wife took
leave of her neighbours, full of those sensations of horror which the
discovery of such depravity was calculated to produce in a virtuous
mind. Hastening home to her husband, she thought it no crime to break
her promise to her wicked neighbours, and, like a dutiful and prudent
wife, to reveal to the husband of her bosom the whole particulars of
their interview. The husband greatly commended his wife’s fidelity,
and immediately entered into a collusion with her, which displays no
ordinary degree of ingenuity. It was agreed that the husband should
exchange apparel with the wife, and that he should, in this disguise,
accompany the wives to the place appointed, to see what cantrips they
intended to perform. He accordingly arrayed himself in his wife’s
habiliments, and, at the hour of midnight, joined the party at the
place appointed. The ‘_Bride_,’ as they called him, was most cordially
received by the two Ladies of the Broom, who warmly congratulated
the ‘Bride’ upon _her_ good fortune, and the speedy consummation of
_her_ happiness. He was then presented with a fir-torch, a broom,
and a riddle, articles with which they themselves were furnished.
They directed their course along the banks of the rolling Avon, until
they reached Craic-pol-nain, or the Craig of the Birdspool. Here, in
consequence of the steepness of the craig, they found it convenient to
pass to the other side of the river. This passage they effected without
the use of their navy, the river being fordable at the place. They
then came in sight of Pol-nain, and, lo! what human eye ever witnessed
such a scene before! The pool appeared as if actually enveloped in
a flame of fire. A hundred torches blazed aloft, reflecting their
beams on the towering woods of Loynchork. And what ear ever heard
such shrieks and yells as proceeded from the horrid crew engaged at
their hellish orgies on Pol-nain? Those cries were, however, sweet
music to the two wives of Delnabo. Every yell produced from them a
burst of unrestrained pleasure, and away they frisked, leaving the
amiable _bride_ a considerable way behind. For the fact is, that he
was in no hurry to reach the scene, and when he did reach it, it was
with a determination to be only a spectator, and not a participator
in the night’s performance. On reaching the pool’s side he saw what
was going on,--he saw abundance of hags steering themselves to and
fro in their riddles, by means of their oars the brooms, hallooing
and skirling worse than the bogles, and each holding in her left hand
a torch of fir,--whilst at other times they would swirl themselves
into a row, and make profound obeisance to a large black ugly tyke,
perched on a lofty rock, who was no doubt the ‘muckle thief’ himself,
and who was pleased to acknowledge most graciously those expressions
of their loyalty and devotion, by bowing, grinning, and clapping his
paws. Having administered to the _bride_ some preliminary instructions,
the impatient wives desired him to remain by the pool’s side until
they should commune with his Satanic Highness on the subject of
_her_ inauguration, directing _her_, as they proceeded on their
voyage across the pool, to speed them in their master’s name. To this
order of the black pair the _bride_ was resolved to pay particular
attention. As soon as they were embarked in their riddles, and had
wriggled themselves, by means of their brooms, into a proper depth of
water, ‘Go,’ says he, ‘in the name of the Best.’ A horrid yell from
the witches announced their instant fate,--the magic spell was now
dissolved--crash went the riddles, and down sank the two witches, never
more to rise, amidst the shrieks and lamentations of the Old Thief
and all his infernal crew, whose combined power and policy could not
save them from a watery end. All the torches were extinguished in an
instant, and the affrighted company fled in different directions, in
such forms and similitudes as they thought most convenient for them
to adopt; and the _wily bride_ returned home at his leisure, enjoying
himself vastly at the clever manner in which he had executed the
instructions of his deceased friends. On arriving at his house, he
dressed himself in his own clothes, and, without immediately satisfying
his wife’s curiosity at the result of his excursion, he yoked his
cattle, and commenced his morning labours with as little concern as
usual. His two neighbours, who were not even conscious of the absence
of their wives, (so ably substituted were they by the brooms,) did
the same. Towards breakfast-time, however, the two neighbours were
not a little astonished that they observed no signs of their wives
having risen from bed--notwithstanding their customary earliness--and
this surprise they, expressed to the _late bride_, their neighbour.
The latter archly remarked, that he had great suspicions, in his
own mind, of their _rising_ even that day. ‘What mean you by that?’
replied they. ‘We left our wives apparently in good health when we
ourselves arose.’--‘Find them now,’ was the reply--the bride setting
up as merry a whistle as before. Running each to his bed, what was the
astonishment of the husbands, when, instead of his wife, he only found
an old broom. Their neighbour then told them, that, if they chose to
examine Pol-nain well, they would find both their dear doxies there.
The grieving husbands accordingly proceeded thither, and, with the
necessary instruments, dragged their late worthy partners to dry land;
and afterwards privately interred them. The shattered vessels and oars
of those unfortunate navigators, whirling about the pool, satisfied
their lords of the manner by which they came to their _ends_; and their
names were no longer mentioned by their kindred in the land. It need
scarcely be added, that the poor man gradually recovered his former
opulence; and that, in the course of a short time, he was comparatively
as rich as he was formerly poor.”