The Room of Gold, in the British Museum, is probably well enough known
to the inquiring alien and the travelled American. A true Londoner,
however, I myself had never heard of it until Raffles casually proposed
a raid.
“The older I grow, Bunny, the less I think of your so-called precious
stones. When did they ever bring in half their market value in £. s. d.
There was the first little crib we ever cracked together—you with your
innocent eyes shut. A thousand pounds that stuff was worth; but how
many hundreds did it actually fetch. The Ardagh emeralds weren’t much
better; old Lady Melrose’s necklace was far worse; but that little lot
the other night has about finished me. A cool hundred for goods priced
well over four; and £35 to come off for bait, since we only got a
tenner for the ring I bought and paid for like an ass. I’ll be shot if
I ever touch a diamond again! Not if it was the Koh-i-noor; those few
whacking stones are too well known, and to cut them up is to decrease
their value by arithmetical retrogression. Besides, that brings you up
against the Fence once more, and I’m done with the beggars for good and
all. You talk about your editors and publishers, you literary swine.
Barabbas was neither a robber nor a publisher, but a six-barred,
barbed-wired, spike-topped Fence. What we really want is an
Incorporated Society of Thieves, with some public-spirited old forger
to run it for us on business lines.”
Raffles uttered these blasphemies under his breath, not, I am afraid,
out of any respect for my one redeeming profession, but because we were
taking a midnight airing on the roof, after a whole day of June in the
little flat below. The stars shone overhead, the lights of London
underneath, and between the lips of Raffles a cigarette of the old and
only brand. I had sent in secret for a box of the best; the boon had
arrived that night; and the foregoing speech was the first result. I
could afford to ignore the insolent asides, however, where the apparent
contention was so manifestly unsound.
“And how are you going to get rid of your gold?” said I, pertinently.
“Nothing easier, my dear rabbit.”
“Is your Room of Gold a roomful of sovereigns?”
Raffles laughed softly at my scorn.
“No, Bunny, it’s principally in the shape of archaic ornaments, whose
value, I admit, is largely extrinsic. But gold is gold, from Phœnicia
to Klondike, and if we cleared the room we should eventually do very
well.”
“How?”
“I should melt it down into a nugget, and bring it home from the U.S.A.
to-morrow.”
“And then?”
“Make them pay up in hard cash across the counter of the Bank of
England. And you _can_ make them.”
That I knew, and so said nothing for a time, remaining a hostile though
a silent critic, while we paced the cool black leads with our bare
feet, softly as cats.
“And how do you propose to get enough away,” at length I asked, “to
make it worth while?”
“Ah, there you have it,” said Raffles. “I only propose to reconnoitre
the ground, to see what we can see. We might find some hiding-place for
a night; that, I am afraid, would be our only chance.”
“Have you ever been there before?”
“Not since they got the one good, portable piece which I believe that
they exhibit now. It’s a long time since I read of it—I can’t remember
where—but I know they have got a gold cup of sorts worth several
thousands. A number of the immorally rich clubbed together and
presented it to the nation; and two of the richly immoral intend to
snaffle it for themselves. At any rate we might go and have a look at
it, Bunny, don’t you think?”
Think! I seized his arm.
“When? When? When?” I asked, like a quick-firing gun.
“The sooner the better, while old Theobald’s away on his honeymoon.”
Our medico had married the week before, nor was any fellow-practitioner
taking his work—at least not that considerable branch of it which
consisted of Raffles—during his brief absence from town. There were
reasons, delightfully obvious to us, why such a plan would have been
highly unwise in Dr. Theobald. I, however, was sending him daily
screeds, and both matutinal and nocturnal telegrams, the composition of
which afforded Raffles not a little enjoyment.
“Well, then, when—when?” I began to repeat.
“To-morrow, if you like.”
“Only to look?”
The limitation was my one regret.
“We must do so, Bunny, before we leap.”
“Very well,” I sighed. “But to-morrow it is!”
And the morrow it really was.
I saw the porter that night, and, I still think, bought his absolute
allegiance for the second coin of the realm. My story, however,
invented by Raffles, was sufficiently specious in itself. That sick
gentleman, Mr. Maturin (as I had to remember to call him), was really,
or apparently, sickening for fresh air. Dr. Theobald would allow him
none; he was pestering me for just one day in the country while the
glorious weather lasted. I was myself convinced that no possible harm
could come of the experiment. Would the porter help me in so innocent
and meritorious an intrigue? The man hesitated. I produced my
half-sovereign. The man was lost. And at half-past eight next
morning—before the heat of the day—Raffles and I drove to Kew Gardens
in a hired landau which was to call for us at mid-day and wait until we
came. The porter had assisted me to carry my invalid downstairs, in a
carrying-chair hired (like the landau) from Harrod’s Stores for the
occasion.
It was little after nine when we crawled together into the gardens; by
half-past my invalid had had enough, and out he tottered on my arm; a
cab, a message to our coachman, a timely train to Baker Street, another
cab, and we were at the British Museum—brisk pedestrians now—not very
many minutes after the opening hour of 10 A.M.
It was one of those glowing days which will not be forgotten by many
who were in town at the time. The Diamond Jubilee was upon us, and
Queen’s weather had already set in. Raffles, indeed, declared it was as
hot as Italy and Australia put together; and certainly the short summer
nights gave the channels of wood and asphalt and the continents of
brick and mortar but little time to cool. At the British Museum the
pigeons were crooning among the shadows of the grimy colonnade, and the
stalwart janitors looked less stalwart than usual, as though their
medals were too heavy for them. I recognized some habitual Readers
going to their labor underneath the dome; of mere visitors we seemed
among the first.
“That’s the room,” said Raffles, who had bought the two-penny guide, as
we studied it openly on the nearest bench; “number 43, upstairs and
sharp round to the right. Come on, Bunny!”
And he led the way in silence, but with a long methodical stride which
I could not understand until we came to the corridor leading to the
Room of Gold, when he turned to me for a moment.
“A hundred and thirty-nine yards from this to the open street,” said
Raffles, “not counting the stairs. I suppose we _could_ do it in twenty
seconds, but if we did we should have to jump the gates. No, you must
remember to loaf out at slow march, Bunny, whether you like it or not.”
“But you talked about a hiding-place for a night?”
“Quite so—for all night. We should have to get back, go on lying low,
and saunter out with the crowd next day—after doing the whole show
thoroughly.”
“What! With gold in our pockets—”
“And gold in our boots, and gold up the sleeves and legs of our suits!
You leave that to me, Bunny, and wait till you’ve tried two pairs of
trousers sewn together at the foot! This is only a preliminary
reconnoitre. And here we are.”
It is none of my business to describe the so-called Room of Gold, with
which I, for one, was not a little disappointed. The glass cases, which
both fill and line it, may contain unique examples of the goldsmith’s
art in times and places of which one heard quite enough in the course
of one’s classical education; but, from a professional point of view, I
would as lief have the ransacking of a single window in the West End as
the pick of all those spoils of Etruria and of ancient Greece. The gold
may not be so soft as it appears, but it certainly looks as though you
could bite off the business ends of the spoons, and stop your own teeth
in doing so. Nor should I care to be seen wearing one of the rings; but
the greatest fraud of all (from the aforesaid standpoint) is assuredly
that very cup of which Raffles had spoken. Moreover, he felt this
himself.
“Why, it’s as thin as paper,” said he, “and enamelled like a
middle-aged lady of quality! But, by Jove, it’s one of the most
beautiful things I ever saw in my life, Bunny. I should like to have it
for its own sake, by all my gods!”
The thing had a little square case of plate-glass all to itself at one
end of the room. It may have been the thing of beauty that Raffles
affected to consider it, but I for my part was in no mood to look at it
in that light. Underneath were the names of the plutocrats who had
subscribed for this national gewgaw, and I fell to wondering where
their £8,000 came in, while Raffles devoured his two-penny guide-book
as greedily as a school-girl with a zeal for culture.
“Those are scenes from the martyrdom of St. Agnes,” said he ...
“‘translucent on relief ... one of the finest specimens of its kind.’ I
should think it was! Bunny, you Philistine, why can’t you admire the
thing for its own sake? It would be worth having only to live up to!
There never was such rich enamelling on such thin gold; and what a good
scheme to hang the lid up over it, so that you can see how thin it is.
I wonder if we could lift it, Bunny, by hook or crook?”
“You’d better try, sir,” said a dry voice at his elbow.
The madman seemed to think we had the room to ourselves. I knew better,
but, like another madman, had let him ramble on unchecked. And here was
a stolid constable confronting us, in the short tunic that they wear in
summer, his whistle on its chain, but no truncheon at his side.
Heavens! how I see him now: a man of medium size, with a broad,
good-humored, perspiring face, and a limp moustache. He looked sternly
at Raffles, and Raffles looked merrily at him.
“Going to run me in, officer?” said he. “That _would_ be a joke—my
hat!”
“I didn’t say as I was, sir,” replied the policeman. “But that’s queer
talk for a gentleman like you, sir, in the British Museum!” And he
wagged his helmet at my invalid, who had taken his airing in frock-coat
and top-hat, the more readily to assume his present part.
“What!” cried Raffles, “simply saying to my friend that I’d like to
lift the gold cup? Why, so I should, officer, so I should! I don’t mind
who hears me say so. It’s one of the most beautiful things I ever saw
in all my life.”
The constable’s face had already relaxed, and now a grin peeped under
the limp moustache. “I daresay there’s many as feels like that, sir,”
said he.
“Exactly; and I say what I feel, that’s all,” said Raffles airily. “But
seriously, officer, is a valuable thing like this quite safe in a case
like that?”
“Safe enough as long as I’m here,” replied the other, between grim jest
and stout earnest. Raffles studied his face; he was still watching
Raffles; and I kept an eye on them both without putting in my word.
“You appear to be single-handed,” observed Raffles. “Is that wise?”
The note of anxiety was capitally caught; it was at once personal and
public-spirited, that of the enthusiastic savant, afraid for a national
treasure which few appreciated as he did himself. And, to be sure, the
three of us now had this treasury to ourselves; one or two others had
been there when we entered; but now they were gone.
“I’m not single-handed,” said the officer, comfortably. “See that seat
by the door? One of the attendants sits there all day long.”
“Then where is he now?”
“Talking to another attendant just outside. If you listen you’ll hear
them for yourself.”
We listened, and we did hear them, but not just outside. In my own mind
I even questioned whether they were in the corridor through which we
had come; to me it sounded as though they were just outside the
corridor.
“You mean the fellow with the billiard-cue who was here when we came
in?” pursued Raffles.
“That wasn’t a billiard-cue! It was a pointer,” the intelligent officer
explained.
“It ought to be a javelin,” said Raffles, nervously. “It ought to be a
poleaxe! The public treasure ought to be better guarded than this. I
shall write to the _Times_ about it—you see if I don’t!”
All at once, yet somehow not so suddenly as to excite suspicion,
Raffles had become the elderly busybody with nerves; why, I could not
for the life of me imagine; and the policeman seemed equally at sea.
“Lor’ bless you, sir,” said he, “I’m all right; don’t you bother your
head about _me_.”
“But you haven’t even got a truncheon!”
“Not likely to want one either. You see, sir, it’s early as yet; in a
few minutes these here rooms will fill up; and there’s safety in
numbers, as they say.”
“Oh, it will fill up soon, will it?”
“Any minute now, sir.”
“Ah!”
“It isn’t often empty as long as this, sir. It’s the Jubilee, I
suppose.”
“Meanwhile, what if my friend and I had been professional thieves? Why,
we could have over-powered you in an instant, my good fellow!”
“That you couldn’t; leastways, not without bringing the whole place
about your ears.”
“Well, I shall write to the _Times_, all the same. I’m a connoisseur in
all this sort of thing, and I won’t have unnecessary risks run with the
nation’s property. You said there was an attendant just outside, but he
sounds to me as though he were at the other end of the corridor. I
shall write to-day!”
For an instant we all three listened; and Raffles was right. Then I saw
two things in one glance. Raffles had stepped a few inches backward,
and stood poised upon the ball of each foot, his arms half raised, a
light in his eyes. And another kind of light was breaking over the
crass features of our friend the constable.
“Then shall I tell you what _I’ll_ do?” he cried, with a sudden clutch
at the whistle-chain on his chest. The whistle flew out, but it never
reached his lips. There were a couple of sharp smacks, like double
barrels discharged all but simultaneously, and the man reeled against
me so that I could not help catching him as he fell.
“Well done, Bunny! I’ve knocked him out—I’ve knocked him out! Run you
to the door and see if the attendants have heard anything, and take
them on if they have.”
Mechanically I did as I was told. There was no time for thought, still
less for remonstrance or reproach, though my surprise must have been
even more complete than that of the constable before Raffles knocked
the sense out of him. Even in my utter bewilderment, however, the
instinctive caution of the real criminal did not desert me. I ran to
the door, but I sauntered through it, to plant myself before a
Pompeiian fresco in the corridor; and there were the two attendants
still gossiping outside the further door; nor did they hear the dull
crash which I heard even as I watched them out of the corner of each
eye.
It was hot weather, as I have said, but the perspiration on my body
seemed already to have turned into a skin of ice. Then I caught the
faint reflection of my own face in the casing of the fresco, and it
frightened me into some semblance of myself as Raffles joined me with
his hands in his pockets. But my fear and indignation were redoubled at
the sight of him, when a single glance convinced me that his pockets
were as empty as his hands, and his mad outrage the most wanton and
reckless of his whole career.
“Ah, very interesting, very interesting, but nothing to what they have
in the museum at Naples or in Pompeii itself. You must go there some
day, Bunny. I’ve a good mind to take you myself. Meanwhile—slow march!
The beggar hasn’t moved an eyelid. We may swing for him if you show
indecent haste!”
“We!” I whispered. “We!”
And my knees knocked together as we came up to the chatting attendants.
But Raffles must needs interrupt them to ask the way to the Prehistoric
Saloon.
“At the top of the stairs.”
“Thank you. Then we’ll work round that way to the Egyptian part.”
And we left them resuming their providential chat.
“I believe you’re mad,” I said bitterly as we went.
“I believe I _was_,” admitted Raffles; “but I’m not now, and I’ll see
you through. A hundred and thirty-nine yards, wasn’t it? Then it can’t
be more than a hundred and twenty now—not as much. Steady, Bunny, for
God’s sake. It’s _slow_ march—for our lives.”
There was this much management. The rest was our colossal luck. A
hansom was being paid off at the foot of the steps outside, and in we
jumped, Raffles shouting “Charing Cross!” for all Bloomsbury to hear.
We had turned into Bloomsbury Street without exchanging a syllable when
he struck the trap-door with his fist.
“Where the devil are you driving us?”
“Charing Cross, sir.”
“I said King’s Cross! Round you spin, and drive like blazes, or we miss
our train! There’s one to York at 10:35,” added Raffles as the
trap-door slammed; “we’ll book there, Bunny, and then we’ll slope
through the subway to the Metropolitan, and so to ground _via_ Baker
Street and Earl’s Court.”
And actually in half an hour he was seated once more in the hired
carrying chair, while the porter and I staggered upstairs with my
decrepit charge, for whose shattered strength even one hour in Kew
Gardens had proved too much! Then, and not until then, when we had got
rid of the porter and were alone at last, did I tell Raffles, in the
most nervous English at my command, frankly and exactly what I thought
of him and of his latest deed. Once started, moreover, I spoke as I
have seldom spoken to living man; and Raffles, of all men, stood my
abuse without a murmur; or rather he sat it out, too astounded even to
take off his hat, though I thought his eyebrows would have lifted it
from his head.
“But it always was your infernal way,” I was savagely concluding. “You
make one plan, and yet you tell me another—”
“Not to-day, Bunny, I swear!”
“You mean to tell me you really did start with the bare idea of finding
a place to hide in for a night?”
“Of course I did.”
“It was to be the mere reconnoitre you pretended?”
“There was no pretence about it, Bunny.”
“Then why on earth go and do what you did?”
“The reason would be obvious to anyone but you,” said Raffles, still
with no unkindly scorn. “It was the temptation of a minute—the final
impulse of the fraction of a second, when Roberto saw that I was
tempted, and let me see that he saw it. It’s not a thing I care to do,
and I sha’n’t be happy till the papers tell me the poor devil is alive.
But a knock-out shot was the only chance for us then.”
“Why? You don’t get run in for being tempted, nor yet for showing that
you are!”
“But I should have deserved running in if I hadn’t yielded to such a
temptation as that, Bunny. It was a chance in a hundred thousand! We
might go there every day of our lives, and never again be the only
outsiders in the room, with the billiard-marking Johnnie practically
out of ear-shot at one and the same time. It was a gift from the gods;
not to have taken it would have been flying in the face of Providence.”
“But you didn’t take it,” said I. “You went and left it behind.”
I wish I had had a Kodak for the little smile with which Raffles shook
his head, for it was one that he kept for those great moments of which
our vocation is not devoid. All this time he had been wearing his hat,
tilted a little over eyebrows no longer raised. And now at last I knew
where the gold cup was.
It stood for days upon his chimney-piece, this costly trophy whose
ancient history and final fate filled newspaper columns even in these
days of Jubilee, and for which the flower of Scotland Yard was said to
be seeking high and low. Our constable, we learnt, had been stunned
only, and, from the moment that I brought him an evening paper with the
news, Raffles’s spirits rose to a height inconsistent with his equable
temperament, and as unusual in him as the sudden impulse upon which he
had acted with such effect. The cup itself appealed to me no more than
it had done before. Exquisite it might be, handsome it was, but so
light in the hand that the mere gold of it would scarcely have poured
three figures out of melting-pot. And what said Raffles but that he
would never melt it at all!
“Taking it was an offence against the laws of the land, Bunny. That is
nothing. But destroying it would be a crime against God and Art, and
may I be spitted on the vane of St. Mary Abbot’s if I commit it!”
Talk such as this was unanswerable; indeed, the whole affair had passed
the pale of useful comment; and the one course left to a practical
person was to shrug his shoulders and enjoy the joke. This was not a
little enhanced by the newspaper reports, which described Raffles as a
handsome youth, and his unwilling accomplice as an older man of
blackguardly appearance and low type.
“Hits us both off rather neatly, Bunny,” said he. “But what none of
them do justice to is my dear cup. Look at it; only look at it, man!
Was ever anything so rich and yet so chaste? St. Agnes must have had a
pretty bad time, but it would be almost worth it to go down to
posterity in such enamel upon such gold. And then the history of the
thing. Do you realize that it’s five hundred years old and has belonged
to Henry the Eighth and to Elizabeth among others? Bunny, when you have
me cremated, you can put my ashes in yonder cup, and lay us in the
deep-delved earth together!”
“And meanwhile?”
“It is the joy of my heart, the light of my life, the delight of mine
eye.”
“And suppose other eyes catch sight of it?”
“They never must; they never shall.”
Raffles would have been too absurd had he not been thoroughly alive to
his own absurdity; there was nevertheless an underlying sincerity in
his appreciation of any and every form of beauty, which all his
nonsense could not conceal. And his infatuation for the cup was, as he
declared, a very pure passion, since the circumstances debarred him
from the chief joy of the average collector, that of showing his
treasure to his friends. At last, however, and at the height of his
craze, Raffles and reason seemed to come together again as suddenly as
they had parted company in the Room of Gold.
“Bunny,” he cried, flinging his newspaper across the room, “I’ve got an
idea after your own heart. I know where I can place it after all!”
“Do you mean the cup?”
“I do.”
“Then I congratulate you.”
“Thanks.”
“Upon the recovery of your senses.”
“Thanks galore. But you’ve been confoundedly unsympathetic about this
thing, Bunny, and I don’t think I shall tell you my scheme till I’ve
carried it out.”
“Quite time enough,” said I.
“It will mean your letting me loose for an hour or two under cloud of
this very night. To-morrow’s Sunday, the Jubilee’s on Tuesday, and old
Theobald’s coming back for it.”
“It doesn’t much matter whether he’s back or not if you go late
enough.”
“I mustn’t be late. They don’t keep open. No, it’s no use your asking
any questions. Go out and buy me a big box of Huntley & Palmer’s
biscuits; any sort you like, only they must be theirs, and absolutely
the biggest box they sell.”
“My dear man!”
“No questions, Bunny; you do your part and I’ll do mine.”
Subtlety and success were in his face. It was enough for me, and I had
done his extraordinary bidding within a quarter of an hour. In another
minute Raffles had opened the box and tumbled all the biscuits into the
nearest chair.
“Now newspapers!”
I fetched a pile. He bid the cup of gold a ridiculous farewell, wrapped
it up in newspaper after newspaper, and finally packed it in the empty
biscuit-box.
“Now some brown paper. I don’t want to be taken for the grocer’s young
man.”
A neat enough parcel it made, when the string had been tied and the
ends cut close; what was more difficult was to wrap up Raffles himself
in such a way that even the porter should not recognize him if they
came face to face at the corner. And the sun was still up. But Raffles
would go, and when he did I should not have known him myself.
He may have been an hour away. It was barely dusk when he returned, and
my first question referred to our dangerous ally, the porter. Raffles
had passed him unsuspected in going, but had managed to avoid him
altogether on the return journey, which he had completed by way of the
other entrance and the roof. I breathed again.
“And what have you done with the cup?”
“Placed it!”
“How much for? How much for?”
“Let me think. I had a couple of cabs, and the postage was a tanner,
with another twopence for registration. Yes, it cost me exactly
five-and-eight.”
“_It_ cost _you!_ But what did you _get_ for it, Raffles?”
“Nothing, my boy.”
“Nothing!”
“Not a crimson cent.”
“I am not surprised. I never thought it had a market value. I told you
so in the beginning,” I said, irritably. “But what on earth have you
done with the thing?”
“Sent it to the Queen.”
“You haven’t!”
Rogue is a word with various meanings, and Raffles had been one sort of
rogue ever since I had known him; but now, for once, he was the
innocent variety, a great gray-haired child, running over with
merriment and mischief.
“Well, I’ve sent it to Sir Arthur Bigge, to present to her Majesty,
with the loyal respects of the thief, if that will do for you,” said
Raffles. “I thought they might take too much stock of me at the G.P.O.
if I addressed it to the Sovereign herself. Yes, I drove over to St.
Martin’s-le-Grand with it, and I registered the box into the bargain.
Do a thing properly if you do it at all.”
“But why on earth,” I groaned, “do such a thing at all?”
“My dear Bunny, we have been reigned over for sixty years by infinitely
the finest monarch the world has ever seen. The world is taking the
present opportunity of signifying the fact for all it is worth. Every
nation is laying of its best at her royal feet; every class in the
community is doing its little level—except ours. All I have done is to
remove one reproach from our fraternity.”
At this I came round, was infected with his spirit, called him the
sportsman he always was and would be, and shook his daredevil hand in
mine; but, at the same time, I still had my qualms.
“Supposing they trace it to us?” said I.
“There’s not much to catch hold of in a biscuit-box by Huntley &
Palmer,” replied Raffles; “that was why I sent you for one. And I
didn’t write a word upon a sheet of paper which could possibly be
traced. I simply printed two or three on a virginal post-card—another
half-penny to the bad—which might have been bought at any post-office
in the kingdom. No, old chap, the G.P.O. was the one real danger; there
was one detective I spotted for myself; and the sight of him has left
me with a thirst. Whisky and Sullivans for two, Bunny, if you please.”
Raffles was soon clinking his glass against mine.
“The Queen,” said he. “God bless her!”