CHORUS. It is you that we are stoning, you miserable scoundrel.
DICAEOPOLIS. And for what sin, Acharnian Elders, tell me that!
CHORUS. You ask that, you impudent rascal, traitor to your country; you
alone amongst us all have concluded a truce, and you dare to look us in
the face!
DICAEOPOLIS. But you do not know _why_ I have treated for peace. Listen!
CHORUS. Listen to you? No, no, you are about to die, we will annihilate
you with our stones.
DICAEOPOLIS. But first of all, listen. Stop, my friends.
CHORUS. I will hear nothing; do not address me; I hate you more than I do
Cleon,[197] whom one day I shall flay to make sandals for the Knights.
Listen to your long speeches, after you have treated with the Laconians!
No, I will punish you.
DICAEOPOLIS. Friends, leave the Laconians out of debate and consider only
whether I have not done well to conclude my truce.
CHORUS. Done well! when you have treated with a people who know neither
gods, nor truth, nor faith.
DICAEOPOLIS. We attribute too much to the Laconians; as for myself, I
know that they are not the cause of all our troubles.
CHORUS. Oh, indeed, rascal! You dare to use such language to me and then
expect me to spare you!
DICAEOPOLIS. No, no, they are not the cause of all our troubles, and I
who address you claim to be able to prove that they have much to complain
of in us.
CHORUS. This passes endurance; my heart bounds with fury. Thus you dare
to defend our enemies.
DICAEOPOLIS. Were my head on the block I would uphold what I say and rely
on the approval of the people.
CHORUS. Comrades, let us hurl our stones and dye this fellow purple.
DICAEOPOLIS. What black fire-brand has inflamed your heart! You will not
hear me? You really will not, Acharnians?
CHORUS. No, a thousand times, no.
DICAEOPOLIS. This is a hateful injustice.
CHORUS. May I die, if I listen.
DICAEOPOLIS. Nay, nay! have mercy, have mercy, Acharnians.
CHORUS. You shall die.
DICAEOPOLIS. Well, blood for blood! I will kill your dearest friend. I
have here the hostages of Acharnae;[198] I shall disembowel them.
CHORUS. Acharnians, what means this threat? Has he got one of our
children in his house? What gives him such audacity?
DICAEOPOLIS. Stone me, if it please you; I shall avenge myself on this.
(_Shows a basket_.) Let us see whether you have any love for your coals.
CHORUS. Great gods! this basket is our fellow-citizen. Stop, stop, in
heaven's name!
DICAEOPOLIS. I shall dismember it despite your cries; I will listen to
nothing.
CHORUS. How! will you kill this coal-basket, my beloved comrade?
DICAEOPOLIS. Just now, you did not listen to me.
CHORUS. Well, speak now, if you will; tell us, tell us you have a
weakness for the Lacedaemonians. I consent to anything; never will I
forsake this dear little basket.
DICAEOPOLIS. First, throw down your stones.
CHORUS. There! 'tis done. And you, do you put away your sword.
DICAEOPOLIS. Let me see that no stones remain concealed in your cloaks.
CHORUS. They are all on the ground; see how we shake our garments. Come,
no haggling, lay down your sword; we threw away everything while crossing
from one side of the stage to the other.[199]
DICAEOPOLIS. What cries of anguish you would have uttered had these coals
of Parnes[200] been dismembered, and yet it came very near it; had they
perished, their death would have been due to the folly of their
fellow-citizens. The poor basket was so frightened, look, it has shed a
thick black dust over me, the same as a cuttle-fish does. What an
irritable temper! You shout and throw stones, you will not hear my
arguments--not even when I propose to speak in favour of the
Lacedaemonians with my head on the block; and yet I cling to my life.
CHORUS. Well then, bring out a block before your door, scoundrel, and let
us hear the good grounds you can give us; I am curious to know them. Now
mind, as you proposed yourself, place your head on the block and speak.
DICAEOPOLIS. Here is the block; and, though I am but a very sorry
speaker, I wish nevertheless to talk freely of the Lacedaemonians and
without the protection of my buckler. Yet I have many reasons for fear. I
know our rustics; they are delighted if some braggart comes, and rightly
or wrongly loads both them and their city with praise and flattery; they
do not see that such toad-eaters[201] are traitors, who sell them for
gain. As for the old men, I know their weakness; they only seek to
overwhelm the accused with their votes.[202] Nor have I forgotten how
Cleon treated me because of my comedy last year;[203] he dragged me
before the Senate and there he uttered endless slanders against me; 'twas
a tempest of abuse, a deluge of lies. Through what a slough of mud he
dragged me! I nigh perished. Permit me, therefore, before I speak, to
dress in the manner most likely to draw pity.
CHORUS. What evasions, subterfuges and delays! Hold! here is the sombre
helmet of Pluto with its thick bristling plume; Hieronymus[204] lends it
to you; then open Sisyphus'[205] bag of wiles; but hurry, hurry, pray,
for our discussion does not admit of delay.
DICAEOPOLIS. The time has come for me to manifest my courage, so I will
go and seek Euripides. Ho! slave, slave!
SLAVE. Who's there?
DICAEOPOLIS. Is Euripides at home?
SLAVE. He is and he isn't; understand that, if you have wit for't.