turns out to be a clergyman of the Church of England, and early this
morning he conducted holy communion in the music-room, which was
attended by about a dozen women. At 11 A. M. he held another service,
which attracted twenty-five or thirty. Both services were announced by
tolling the dinner-gong like a church-bell. We call the tall man our
pastor, and he will seem quite like it after we have been associated
with him all the way to Durban. I have spent Sunday on three other
ships, but no religious services were held.... Every Englishman,
before he has known an American long, refers to the amusing manner in
which Americans eat green corn off the cob. I suppose that seeing a
room full of Americans eating corn off the cob is a funny sight that
only foreigners can appreciate. An Englishman who sits at our table,
and who lives at Johannesburg, says roasting-ears are widely grown in
South Africa, and that Englishmen there eat them in American fashion.
In Australia, I noted that green corn is sold in fruit stores, as a
rarity; I never saw it at the vegetable markets, or in the grocery
stores. Australian and New Zealand gardeners do not raise the variety
of vegetables we have in the United States.... There are fifteen
children and a phonograph on board, so we do not lack for noise. The
children are better behaved than American children, and under more
control; the phonograph is of American make, a Victor, with wooden
horn. There are five nurses with the children; one of them is employed
by the tall clergyman. American clergymen are not so prosperous, as a
rule, that they travel with nurses.... It is so dull on board that
last evening the passengers went down to dinner at seven o’clock, and
remained at the tables until 8:10. The “Anchises” is introducing an
innovation which pleases me: it gives the passengers better rooms,
and less to eat. We have plenty, but on some ships there is so much
to eat that the passengers are tempted beyond resistance, and eat too
much.... We have been passing the western point of Australia today,
and the sea has been rough. But the “Anchises” has such a gentlemanly
roll that we do not mind it. The ship has ten thousand tons of cargo
in its hold, and cannot skip about as do ships lightly loaded. From
Adelaide to Albany, the western point of Australia, there is no
railroad. The distance is twelve or fourteen hundred miles. Had the
government kept out of the railroad business, private capital would
have built that gap long ago, and passengers from Australia to South
Africa might avoid four days of sea-travel. We followed the ship by
rail from Sydney, and would have followed it to Albany, had there
been a railroad to that place from Adelaide.... The weather has
been chilly, but the latter part of this week we will run into warm
weather, which will continue until we reach home. As a result of the
raw, chilly weather, and no heat anywhere on the ship, I had a siege
with neuralgia, an entirely new experience for me. The only thing to
do was to go to bed and cover up well, with a hot-water bag to my
jaw. Fortunately I have the best steward I have ever drawn on a ship,
and he paid me a good deal of attention.... A young Englishman who
sits at our table tells a terrible story of Business. He says that in
Johannesburg, South Africa, where he lives, he is often compelled to
take thirty drinks a day, or lose trade. I would like to tell him what
I think of the statement, but do not care to start a row on board. Any
man who says he is forced to drink intoxicants or lose trade, tells
a silly falsehood. A drinking man usually admires a man who doesn’t
drink. The men who have been most successful in business have not
been noted as boozers. But while I didn’t tell the young man what I
thought of his statement, an elderly Englishman did. “The Americans,”
the elderly Englishman said, “are the smartest business men in the
world, and they do not drink as much as we do. And the drinking habit
in America is becoming more unpopular every day, and will finally
become disreputable.” I have noticed that while most Englishmen “pick”
at Americans, they really have a high opinion of them.... I have
spent part of the day reading a book entitled, “Around Cape Horn.”
It is a common sailor’s experience in sailing from San Francisco to
Liverpool. For weeks the ship had terrible weather; it seemed that
wreck was inevitable almost every hour of the voyage. I am of the
opinion that the writer made the voyage much worse than it really was,
in order that he might have a tale that would appeal to publishers. I
have spent many weeks at sea, on many ships, but have never experienced
any of the rough weather this writer tells about. I have experienced
much disagreeable weather at sea, but I have never seen a ship in any
danger of swamping. The stories of storms at sea remind me of stories
of battles. There will be a perfect rain of shot and shell; pandemonium
will reign, and, from the book account, it would seem that not a single
man could live to tell the tale. But when the casualties are listed,
it is found that only two men were slightly wounded. What a terrific
affair the Battle of Manila Bay was! Yet not a single man in Admiral
Dewey’s fleet was struck by shot or shell, although the engagement
lasted for hours.... The man who has a wife and five children, and
two nurses, on board, was talking to me today.
“I suppose you have heard,” he said, “that a young man may marry, and
his expenses will be less than before; in short, that two may live on
less than one?”
I replied that I had heard the story.
“Well,” he said, “there is nothing in it.”
From noon yesterday until noon today, the ship’s run was only 312
miles. There was once a famous American sailing-ship, the “Red Jacket,”
which did a better average than that for ten consecutive days. But it
must have had a great run of luck. Sailingships often make less than
a hundred miles a day, and, when the wind is very unfavorable, lose
in twenty-four hours all they have made in three or four days....
We are followed every day by the albatross: great birds which sail
for hours against the wind without moving a wing. The sailors say
that the young, after reaching a certain age, and being made very
fat, are deserted by their parents, and have nothing to eat for six
months. At the end of that time they are able to fly, and seek food
for themselves.... In the smoking-room today I heard a man say
that every vicious person may be detected by looking at his ears. If
the tops of his ears are as low as his eyes, look out for him; he is
dangerous.
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 17.—The manner in which the male passengers on ships
drink coffee in the smoking-room, after dinner, has been getting on
my nerves; but just as I was working up a fine case of indignation,
I found the custom did not prevail on the “Anchises.” On this ship
those men who wish coffee after dinner, drink it in the dining-room,
and none is served in the smoking-room. You cannot realize how unusual
this new rule is unless you have seen the smoking-rooms of many ships
filled with men drinking coffee after dinner. I wonder the captain
of the “Anchises” dared order the change, but I have not heard any
complaints.... Among our acquaintances are a Mr. and Mrs. Steele,
of Sydney. Mr. Steele has been married twice, and talks a good deal
about his daughter in London, and his son in Philadelphia. Some
widowers who have married again, speak of “our” children, while others
say “my” children; just as some men who have been married twice are
always talking about it, while others keep quiet, and let you find out
about their second marriage if you can. I don’t think Mrs. Steele likes
the manner in which he talks about his son in Philadelphia, and his
daughter in London, preferring that he say “our” son in Philadelphia
and “our” daughter in London. Stepchildren also amuse me; they try
so hard to show respect for pa’s new wife, or ma’s new husband, and
fail so lamentably. There is always something unusual in a second
marriage.... This is our sixth full day on the “Anchises.” Had we
been on a fast boat on the Atlantic, we should be landing tomorrow.
But this is a long trip, and we are only fairly getting started: we
shall not land at Durban until a week from next Monday. Those who came
on at Sydney have already been on board fifteen days, and, if they are
going to Liverpool, they still have thirty-two days of it. A gentleman
and his wife who are at our table came on board at Melbourne, and they
will be on board forty-seven days.... Every woman in Australia and
New Zealand wears a bracelet watch; the custom seems to be universal.
In the United States women wear watches attached to chains of one
shape or another, but here it is a universal custom for women to wear
watches set in a bracelet on the left wrist.... I believe this is
the dullest trip I have ever undertaken, and almost scream with horror
when I realize that I shall not see land for another thirteen days.
Fortunately we have not been seasick; the “Anchises” is a wonderfully
steady boat. But it is as dull on board as on a back street in a
country town. Part of the passengers sit on one side of the main deck
and part on the other, while some of them sit on the upper or boat
deck. All of us walk about a good deal for exercise, and I think we
tire of seeing each other go ’round and ’round. One restless woman is
going most of the time, and I often hear the others growl: “If that
woman would only sit down!” I fear we shall engage in fist fights
before we reach Durban.... Two highly respectable spinsters from
Australia have attracted my attention. On deck and in the dining-room
they are so well behaved that I marvel at them; but this afternoon
they became desperate, and left their side of the deck and came over
to our side. And at dinner tonight I saw the bolder one looking about
the dining-room, hoping to see something to talk about. If these highly
respectable women are becoming reckless at the end of six days, what
will they be doing in thirteen days more?... A Sports Committee was
organized today, to Keep Something Going On. But ship games are about
as uninteresting as a Salvation Army street service. A subscription
was taken up, to raise money with which to buy prizes for the winners
of the games, and I heard it hinted that the promoters expect others
to do the giving. There was no great demand for Sports, except in the
minds of three or four men. It’s a good deal that way on land when a
celebration is held, or a new church built, or money raised for a Y. M.
C. A. building. I predict that the Sports Committee will not greatly
relieve the dullness. One of the games is a special form of cricket
arranged for the sea. A regular game of cricket is so dull that some
of our most noted humorists have laughed at it, but sea cricket is much
worse.... I was talking today with an Englishman who has lived in
Australia a long time, and who married an Australian woman. He says it
pleases Australians to be told they are like Americans, and it makes
them very angry to be told that they are like the English. He confirms
what I have noticed everywhere; that Australians and New Zealanders
“pick” at the English constantly.... I am beginning to believe I
can see a difference between the colonists and the English, although I
couldn’t at first. A woman today told me of her troubles with servants
in Australia, and her troubles are exactly like those I hear women
complain of at home. There are English nurse girls and Australian nurse
girls on board, but they do not mix. The English girls wear nurses’
costumes, but the Australian girls say that is beneath their dignity.
One of these Australian nurse girls is not more than twenty years old,
and has a full set of false teeth. There are many “American dentists”
in Australia (one was shot by his office girl in Melbourne while I was
there), and I judge they have a great deal to do.
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 18.—I read a good deal, as the ship has an excellent
library; frequently I take out two books a day. One I read this morning
is entitled, “The Cruise of the ‘Falcon.’” In 1880, an Englishman
named E. F. Knight conceived the notion of taking a long voyage in a
small yacht called the “Falcon.” The vessel was only forty-two feet
long and thirteen feet wide, yet he cruised in it for twenty months,
going from England to South America, and thence to the West Indies,
where he sold his boat, and took a steamer home. The crew consisted of
Knight and three friends, and a boy. One of these friends, Jerdein,
had been an officer on a P. & O. liner, and was a skilled navigator
and seaman, while Knight was an amateur yachtsman of considerable
experience; but the other two, Andrews and Arnand, were landlubbers.
The boy was fifteen years old, and had been to sea several times. On
the way to South America they stopped at several islands, and had a
prosperous and agreeable voyage. Their undertaking was thought to be a
foolhardy one, and the newspapers at the time devoted much space to the
voyage, but the little “Falcon” turned out to be quite fast, and rode
the seas well; two thousand miles were made in ten consecutive days
off the coast of South America. Five months were devoted to a trip up
the Parana and Paraguay rivers. At Buenos Aires, Jerdein, Andrews and
Arnand concluded that they had had enough of it, and quit the little
boat. Knight was not discouraged, and hired three Italian sailors, in
addition to the boy. With these he put to sea, and had a very rough
voyage.... There are two islands called Trinidad; one of them in
the West Indies, and the other off the coast of lower South America.
Knight determined to visit the latter island, and had a very remarkable
experience. The landing was bad, and he found the island an unwholesome
and inhospitable place. At one spot on the island he found a great lot
of wreckage; it looked as though many foundered ships had drifted in
there and gone to pieces. He believed treasure might be found in the
wreckage, but the weather was stormy, and he did not know what moment
the “Falcon” might be compelled to sail away for safety, so he gave up
the treasure, and left the island, where he spent three or four very
uncomfortable days. From Trinidad he went to Bahia, and to the Amazon,
meeting with all sorts of adventures, finally landing at Barbadoes,
where he sold the “Falcon,” and sailed for home on a steamship.... I
suppose Knight elaborated his dangers and adventures; talkers do this,
and I see no reason why writers should not. Many of his most remarkable
stories he had second-hand; the wonderful incidents recorded happened
a day, or a week, or a month, after he arrived at certain places.
This is true of most very remarkable circumstances; the narrators do
not say they witnessed them, but gentlemen they had every reason to
believe truthful told them the stories, etc. Dozens of men have told
me of the famous pilot-fish of New Zealand, which pilots all ships
through a certain channel. None of these gentlemen have actually seen
the pilot-fish at work, but they met a gentleman only last week, or
the week before, who had seen it. By-the-way, a recent Sydney paper
says the famous pilot-fish has not been seen in six months; it is
feared that he has been killed by the crew of some whaling-ship....
Another favorite story is of the fogs in London, yet I have never
seen anyone who has witnessed one of these fogs. And the _Scientific
American_ stated not long ago that the old-fashioned London fog has
disappeared; that one has not been seen in a good many years....
Speaking of whalers, it is generally agreed that in the old days when
that industry was flourishing and profitable, the Yankees were the
smartest men at the business. Indeed, when an English firm built and
equipped a whaling-ship, Yankees were employed to teach the English
crew the business. I have been grumbling a little because of this
voyage of nineteen days. The old whalers used to be gone three years
on their voyages; sometimes they did not see land for ten months at a
time. Capturing a whale was as dangerous as a naval battle. The sailors
went after it in small boats, and a whale was rarely captured under
six or seven hours.... The sea is supposed to be very dangerous.
As a matter of fact, a sea voyage is not as dangerous as a railroad
journey. Take a hundred thousand people who travel a given number of
hours by rail, and compare them with a hundred thousand who travel a
like number of hours by sea, and those traveling by sea will have very
much the best of it, so far as safety is concerned. Indeed, going to
sea is safer than staying at home. Ever remark the great number of
people who are killed around home? The newspapers are full of dreadful
accidents occurring in quiet, rural communities where life is supposed
to be particularly safe. Every time a farmer hitches up a team, he runs
a risk. A buggy-ride is dangerous; the hold-back straps are liable
to break, in going down hill; and a buggy running onto the heels
of a horse is almost sure to cause an accident. And public streets
and roads are more dangerous than ever since automobiles became so
numerous.... In seacoast towns everywhere may be seen thousands of
old men who have spent their lives at sea almost without accident.
An insurance company regards a seaman as a safe risk; as safe as a
farmer. It isn’t the danger that should keep you off the sea; it is
seasickness, and four in a room 9×10 feet. Nor is it the expense that
should keep you off the sea. For this voyage of practically twenty days
I pay $150; or $7.50 a day. It would cost that at a New York hotel for
room and board. And there are sea voyages much cheaper than this one:
there is a White Star boat running between Sydney and London, by way of
South Africa, which charges about $5 a day for the journey. It combines
first, second and third-class into one class, but is said to be very
fair.
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 19.—We are the only Americans on board the
“Anchises,” although a passenger from London once met an American
who lived in Connecticut. The Londoner asked me today if I knew his
Connecticut friend. I was compelled to confess I did not know him,
although the London man said his friend was one of the prominent men
of that part of the world.... It seems we are not a musical crowd;
although a concert has been announced for the night before we reach
Durban, there is no one to play the piano. I suggested to a member
of the Sports Committee that some of us might learn, as we would
have ample time, but he did not believe my scheme practical. A man
on board has a graphophone, with sixty records, and this is going a
good deal. Last night he loaned the machine to his nurse girl, and she
gave a concert on the lower deck for the benefit of the crew. One
of the firemen plays the violin, and the laundry girls, stewardesses
and nurse girls danced with members of the crew. It was a bright
moonlight night, and this social event attracted more attention than
anything else we have had on board. There was a euchre tournament in
the smoking-room, but it did not attract as much attention as the
dance. Euchre is called a “nigger’s game” here; it is said to be so
simple that niggers can learn it.... Women are in the smoking-room
of the “Anchises” constantly, but some captains do not allow this:
they say the smoking-room is for men, and that if women are allowed in
the room, some of the men will keep out.... The Eurasian on board
speaks no English, and, in addition, has had toothache for more than
a week. Toothache is one of the dangers of the sea. Captain Trask
told me that he once suffered seven weeks with toothache, when on a
sailing-ship, and was not free from pain a moment during all that
time. On a sailing-ship there is no doctor; the captain doctors the
sailors when they become ill, and usually he doesn’t know much about
medicine.... We have had an unusually smooth sea today, but the
weather has been cloudy; we have not had a clear day since leaving
Adelaide, although the sun occasionally shows itself for a short
time.... The English people are as crazy about cricket as Americans
are about baseball. A man who attends all cricket games, and knows all
the fine points, is called a “barracker.” But he does not abuse the
players, as do our baseball fans; a “barracker” seems to be more of a
gentleman than a “fan.”... I don’t believe I look at the sea more than
once a day; usually, when I get up in the morning, I look out the
window, and remark that the sea is smoother or rougher than yesterday,
but that is about all. I have never seen anything beautiful or unusual
at sea, except one evening when on the “Sonoma.” I was leaning over
the rail forward, as the sun was setting. The rays of the setting sun
were reflected in the waves rolled up by the prow of the ship; I could
see all the colors of the rainbow, and the effect was very unusual
and beautiful. But as a rule, the sea is never majestic, though it
is frequently what the English call “nasty.”... This is our seventh
day out, and we have not seen a sail or ship. One day we saw a black
spot which might have been smoke from a steamer, but that is all.
Even the albatross have deserted us, and we are as lonely as lonely
can be. The members of the Sports Committee are working hard to Keep
Something Going On, but they are not meeting with any great success.
It is amusing to see them hunt up players for the different games. The
head of the Sports Committee is a fine old gentleman named Irons, a
friend of ours, and we find a good deal of amusement in watching him
worry around like the man who proposed a picnic which isn’t going very
well. We try to take the Sports Committee seriously, since the other
passengers would probably think us “funny” if we did not (if they do
not already entertain that suspicion), but as a matter of fact the
Sports Committee is a joke to us. “Well,” one member of the committee
said to me this evening, “it has been a strenuous day.” I thought it
the dullest day I ever experienced anywhere. We hear this evening that
our friend Mr. Irons, head of the Sports Committee, is in bed as a
result of the excitement of the day, and we are laughing at him, in
which his wife joins us.... It is at least clean at sea; no dust and
no dirt. If it were not for the idea of it, you might wear a collar a
week at sea.... Somewhere out in this wilderness there is said to
be a large island where the women greatly outnumber the men; of six
hundred adults, five hundred are women. I have forgotten the name of
the place, but I have heard the men talk about it a good deal. On this
island, the men do nothing, and the women wait upon them with great
cheerfulness. A man is at liberty to have as many wives as he pleases;
the men tell very amusing stories about life on the island, and usually
they tell them in the presence of the women, to adorn a moral. This
paradise for men is known in a general way as “The Island,” and I am of
the opinion that it is an invention of some man who has dreamed of such
a place, after being imposed upon a good deal by women and girls.
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20.—In Australia, what we call a tramp is known as a
“Sundowner,” because of his habit of appearing at sundown, and asking
for a night’s entertainment.... The best thing we have to eat on the
ship is oatmeal, which is served every morning for breakfast. I have
been neglecting this nutritious and palatable food for years, having
drifted off to new breakfast foods extensively advertised, but I shall
drift back to the Old Reliable, as I find it surprisingly good....
Opposite me on deck today sat a woman reading an English magazine. On
the front cover was an advertisement of “Black and White” whisky. The
magazine was about the size of our _Ladies’ Home Journal_; imagine that
fine publication with a whisky advertisement occupying two-thirds of
the front cover page.... A passenger named Grice was telling this
morning of an uncomfortable experience. He was riding after cattle on
the plains of Australia, when his horse fell over an ant-hill. The
horse broke its neck, and fell on the man in such a way as to pin him
to the ground. After six or seven hours, help arrived. There was no
surgeon in the district, and the man was carried to Melbourne, 180
miles. Here he was operated on seven times, and is just out of the
hospital, where he spent eight months. He is on his way to Mombasa,
in Africa, to hunt. When surgeons and hospitals are mentioned, I find
that the Mayos, of Rochester, Minnesota, are known everywhere....
I have heard that some men, when they return from a long trip abroad,
are very conceited about it, and talk too much of their experiences.
In case I am so fortunate as to return from this trip, I shall be very
modest, and greatly admire those who had sense enough to remain at
home. How I admire Uncle Bruce, of Potato Hill farm, who has nothing
to do this winter except haul manure from town for his next year’s
crop! What good things he has to eat down at the farm-house! And what
an appetite he has! I wish I could change places with him. For dinner
today we had venison and pheasant, but they tasted like leather. Game
kept a long time isn’t fit to eat.... Last night there was a dance
on deck, and members of the Sports Committee were indignant because of
the small attendance. “We have worked hard to provide amusement,” they
said, “and almost no one is dancing.” It has probably never occurred
to the members of the Sports Committee that they are a nuisance rather
than a blessing. It would be very much pleasanter on board if a Gay
Time had never been thought of. I do not care to dance; nor do I care
to have members of the Sports Committee urge me to dance. If I care to
play quoits, or any other of the deck games, I do not need a Sports
Committee to urge me. The members of the Sports Committee think it an
outrage that Adelaide does not dance, and look at me reproachfully.
I tell them I had nothing to do with it; that her parents are church
members, and do not believe in dancing. This also greatly astonishes
them. It wouldn’t surprise me if the members of the Sports Committee
did not finally get into trouble with some of the other passengers
who want to be let alone. I hear a good deal of grumbling in the
smoking-room from men who are being constantly urged to dance, take
part in the concert, play skittles, or quoits, or deck billiards, or
sea croquet. The members of the Sports Committee remind me of five
or six men who decide that a town needs another lodge, and bore all
the other citizens to join. Wherever you go, on land or sea, you find
impudent men who urge others to do things there is no necessity for
doing. Our pastor, the tall clergyman heretofore mentioned, is far more
considerate of us than members of the Sports Committee. Sunday morning
he sends a steward about the deck tolling a gong, to give notice that
religious services will shortly be held in the music-room; but those
who do not care to attend are not reprimanded by the holy man for
absence. I thoroughly dislike a man who is forever protesting because
others do not accept his notions, or admire whatever he happens to
admire. Always remember that what you regard as the greatest thing
in the world may be regarded as the most useless by many worthy and
intelligent people.