"Let the neighbors smell ve has something respectable for once."
There is certainly no style of writing requiring so much modest assurance
as autobiography; a position which, I am confident, neither Lord
Cherbury, nor Vidocq, or any other mortal blessed with an equal
developement of the organ of self-esteem, can or could deny.
HOME, ("sweet home,")--in his Douglas--gives, perhaps, one of the most
concise and concentrated specimens extant, of this species of
composition. With what an imposing air does his youthful hero blow his
own trumpet in those well-known lines, commencing,
"My name is Norval."
Although a mere cock-boat in comparison with these first-rates, I think I
may safely follow in their wake. Should the critics, however, condescend
to carp at me for likening myself to a cock-boat, I have no objection, if
by a twist of their ingenuity, they can prove me to be a little funny!
Economy was one of the most prominent characteristics of the family from
which I sprang. Now, some authors would weary their indulgent readers
with a flatulent chapter upon the moral beauty of this virtue; but as my
first wish is to win favor by my candor, I must honestly confess, that
necessity was the parent of this lean attenuated offspring!--For, alas!
My 'angel mother,' (as Anna Maria phrases it,) was a woman of ten
thousand, for she dwelt in one of the most populous districts of London!
My sire, was of the most noble order of St. Crispin; and though he had
many faults, was continually mending--being the most eminent cobbler in
the neighbourhood.
Even in the outset of their connubial partnership, they started under the
most favorable auspices--for, whereas other couples marry for love or
money, they got married for 'nothing' taking advantage of the annual
gratuitous splicings performed at Shoreditch Church on one sunshiny
Easter Monday.
In less than three years my amiable mother presented her lord and master
with as many interesting pledges of their affection--I was the cobbler's
last--and
'Though last, not least, in their dear love.'