MR. GEORGE ROBINS.
with unparalleled gratification, begs to state that he has it in
Command
to announce, that in consequence of
LORD JOHN RUSSELL'S LETTER
to the citizens of London having satisfactorily convinced her
MOST GRACIOUS MAJESTY
that a change of ministry
CANNOT
be productive of a corresponding transformation of measures, and that
the late
POLITICO-GLADIATORIAL STRUGGLE
for the guerdon of office could only have emanated from a highly
commendatory desire on the part of the disinterested and patriotic
belligerents
TO SERVE THEMSELVES
or their country,
HIS ROYAL MISTRESS,
ever solicitous to enchain the hearts of her devoted subjects, by an
impartial exercise of her prerogative, has determined to submit to the
ARBITRATION OF HIS HUMBLE HAMMER,
some of those desirable _places_, so long known as the _stimuli_ to the
LACTANT LYCURGI
of the nineteenth century.
LOT 1.
FIRST LORD OF THE TREASURY,
at present in possession of Lord Melbourne. This will be found a most
eligible investment, as it embraces a considerable extent of female
patronage, comprising the appointments of those valuable legislative
adjuncts,
THE LADIES OF THE BEDCHAMBER,
AND THE ROYAL NURSES, WET AND DRY;
together with those household desiderata,
COALS AND CANDLES,
and an unlimited
RUN OF THE ROYAL KITCHEN.
LOT 2.
SECRETARY OF STATE FOR THE COLONIAL DEPARTMENT,
at present occupied by Lord John Russell. This lot must possess
considerable attraction for a gastronomical experimentalist, as its
present proprietor has for a long time been engaged in the discovery
of how few pinches of oatmeal and spoonsful of gruel are sufficient
for a human pauper, and will be happy to transfer his data to the
next fortunate proprietor. Any gentleman desirous of embarking in the
manufacture of
SUGAR CANDY, MATCHES, OR CHEAP BREAD,
would find this a desirable investment, more particularly should he
wish to form either
A PAROCHIAL OR MATRIMONIAL UNION,
as there are plans for the one, and hints for the other, which will
be thrown into the bargain, being of no further use to the present
noble incumbent.
LOT 3.
SECRETARY OF STATE FOR THE HOME DEPARTMENT,
at present the property of Lord Normanby. Is admirably calculated for
any one of a literary turn of mind, offering resources peculiarly
adapted for a proper cultivation of the Jack Sheppard and James
Hatfield "men-of-elegant-crimes" school of novel-writing--the
archives of Newgate and Horsemonger-lane being open at all times to
the inspection of the favoured purchaser.
"YES" OR "NO"
will determine the sale of this desirable lot in a few days.
LOT 4.
SECRETARY OF STATE FOR FOREIGN AFFAIRS,
now in the occupancy of Lord Palmerston. Possesses advantages rarely
to be met with. From its connexion with the continental powers, Eau
de Cologne, bear's grease, and cosmetics of unrivalled excellence,
can be procured at all times, thus insuring the favour of the divine
sex,
"From the rich peasant-cheek of bronze,
And large black eyes that flash on you a volley
Of rays, that say a thousand things at once,
To the high dama's brow more melancholy."
The only requisite (besides money) for this desirable lot is, that
the purchaser must write a bold round hand for
PROTOCOLS,
understand French and Chinese, and be an
EXPERT TURNER.
LOT 5.
SEVERAL UNDER SECRETARYSHIPS,
admirably adapted for younger sons and poor relatives.
The whole of the proceeds (by the advice of her Majesty's Cabinet
Council) will be devoted to the erection of a
UNION FOR DECAYED MINISTERS.
Cards to view may be had at the Treasury any day after the meeting of
Parliament.
* * * * *
"Very like a whale!" as the schoolmaster said when he examined the boy's
back after severely flogging him.
* * * * *