On going forth last night, a friend to see,
I met a man by trade a s-n-o-_b_;
Reeling along the path he held his way.
"Ho! ho!" quoth I, "he's d-r-u-n-_k_."
Then thus to him--"Were it not better, far,
You were a little s-o-b-e-_r_?
'Twere happier for your family, I guess,
Than playing off such rum r-i-g-_s_.
Besides, all drunkards, when policemen see 'em,
Are taken up at once by t-h-_e_-_m_."
"Me drunk!" the cobbler cried, "the devil trouble you!
You want to kick up a blest r-o-_w_.
Now, may I never wish to work for Hoby,
If drain I've had!" (the lying s-n-o-_b_!)
"I've just return'd from a tee-total party,
Twelve on us jamm'd in a spring c-a-_r_-_t_.
The man as lectured, now, _was_ drunk; why, bless ye,
He's sent home in a c-h-a-i-_s_-_e_.
He'd taken so much lush into his belly,
I'm blest if he could t-o-dd-_l_-_e_.
A pair on 'em--hisself and his good lady;--
The gin had got into her h-e-_a_-_d_.
(My eye and Betty! what weak mortals _we_ are;
They said they took but ginger b-e-_e_-_r_!)
But as for me, I've stuck ('twas rather ropy)
All day to weak imperial p-o-_p_.
And now we've had this little bit o'sparrin',
Just stand a q-u-a-r-t-e-_r_-_n_!"
* * * * *
A man in New-York enjoys such very _excellent spirits_ that he has only to
drink water to intoxicate himself.
* * * * *