["Colonel Crofton, commanding the Eastern District, has decided
that the 'quiff' is 'unsoldierly,' and 'disfiguring,' and has
ukased its abolition. The 'quiff' is the forelock worn by Mr.
Thomas Atkins."--_Pall Mall Gazette._]
_Letter from a Private in the British Army to a Private in the German
Army._
Dere Ole Sauerkraut,--Ow' 're yer going along? Jest a line from the
Eastern Distric' to tell yer that we've all got the fair 'ump. An' I'm
blest if our colonel ain't an' been pitchin' on our 'air. When we 'is in
the fightin' line they yells, "Keep your 'air on, boys!" but when we
gets 'ome, sweet 'ome, they says take it orf. There's 'air! I must tell
yer we wears a hartful curl on our forrids wot is knowed as a "quiff,"
and I give yer my word it's a little bit ov orl rite! Susan (with lots
o' cash as bein' only daughter of a plumber), wot I walks out with,
simply 'angs on to it with both 'ands, so to speak. Well, our colonel
says the "quiff" is "unsoldierly" and "disfiguring," and we 'ave got to
bloomin' well lop it orf, no hank. This busts my charnst with Susan.
Yores melancholy-like,