[Illustration]
In the House of Commons, and elsewhere, the Secretary of State for War
is accustomed to have appeals made to him to assist in providing
facilities for the engagement and remunerative occupation of soldiers
and non-commissioned officers no longer on active service. We are glad
to notice, from the subjoined advertisement, which appeared in the
_Daily News_, that the public themselves are taking the matter in
hand:--
TWO GENERALS WANTED, as Cook and Housemaid for one lady. Light,
comfortable situation. Good wages.--Apply, &c.
The advertiser, it will be observed, flies at higher rank than that
usually considered in this connection. But the situation is "light" and
"comfortable," with "good wages" pertaining, and she has some right to
look for applicants of superior station. We presume that on festive
occasions the gallant officers would be expected to don their uniforms.
Few things would be more striking than to see a general, probably
wearing his war medals, sweeping the front door-step, whilst through the
kitchen window a glimpse was caught of a brother officer, in full tog,
larding a pheasant.
* * * * *
By the courtesy of the Admiralty H.M.S. _Buzzard_ has been anchored as a
permanent guardship of honour immediately opposite the approach to _Mr
Punch's_ offices in Bouverie Street. The compliment is much appreciated.
* * * * *
Further changes in our Navy are announced. Chaplains are to be
abolished, and the navigating officers are to include in their duties
those of sky-pilots.
* * * * *
A COCKNEY'S QUESTION ON THE NAVY.--Does a Port Admiral mean an Admiral
who is laid down for a long series of years, and not decanted for
service till he is very old?
* * * * *
A JOVIAL CREW.--Jack Tars in a jolly-boat.
* * * * *
[Illustration: IN THE SICK BAY.
_Fleet Surgeon._ "There doesn't seem much wrong with you, my man. What's
the matter?"
_A. B._ "Well, sir, it's like this, sir. I _eats_ well, an' I _drinks_
well, an' I _sleeps_ well; but when I sees a job of work--there, I'm all
of a tremble!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: FIELD TRAINING NOTES.--(_Aldershot._) _General_ (_to
Irish recruit_). "Can you tell me how many species of pack animals there
are?"
(_No answer._)
_General._ "Well, do you know _any_ kind of pack animal?"
_Recruit_ (_inspired by recollection of many days' pack-drill_.) "Yes,
sorr. A defaulter, sorr!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Colonel_ (_who is taking a turn round to see how his
subs are getting along with their road sketching_). "You know, this
won't do. You should be able to _ride_ about the country, and make
sketches as you go."
_Jones_ (_not getting along at all nicely, thank you_). "Well, sir, if I
could do that, sir, I should chuck up the army, and join a circus!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: "COULDN'T MAKE 'UN SPEAK."
_Infuriated C. O. 10th V. B. Mudfordshire Fusiliers_ (_who has ordered
bugler to sound the "Cease fire" several times without effect_). "Don't
you hear me, fellow? Why the deuce don't you sound the 'Cease fire' when
I tell you?"
_His Bugler._ "If ye plaze, zur, a've blowed a quid o' bacca down spout
t'ould trumputt, awn I can't make un speak!"]
* * * * *